AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning all, Looks like another beuatiful spring day.

I spent ages reading and re-reading yesterdays's thread. It spoke volumes to me in so many ways. M3 way to go and so many other people who seem to be or have been in situations I recognise.

I am in a really positive mood today. I reach the end of the year, not with the clean slate I wanted but with 313 AF days and 52 drunk ones. I have stopped drinking again and am now on day 8 AF.

I have learnt so much about myself. I think I will be better prepared to stop a relapse.

The best thing, is I can't remember the last time I had a panic attack. I am also a lot better at standing up for myself.

Now all I need to do is find a constructive way of dealing with my emotions.... I suspect that is easier said than done.... but I'm hopeful.

Hope everyone has a brilliant AF day.

Take care

[Marshy]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Morning Loppy & all to come,

Loppy, I think it's important to keep an eye on the big picture when we're having a bad patch - all those things we have achieved during AF time.

Well, I had a horribly stressful day at work yesterday, which will continue for a few weeks at least. It's mainly about someone I know from a previous workplace who is now doing some freelance work where I am. I'm feeling weirdly threatened by him and I'm not entirely sure why. Anyway, he'll be around for at least a month as a trial period and then might be kept on. So I need to accept there's nothing I can do about it, but I don't like it, makes me feel uneasy.

Anyway, instead of considering getting drunk, I talked it all over with a friend and bought some ice cream instead. Now I just need to eliminate ice cream from that equation

I was on the bus going home last night and there were loads of people on their phones calling friends/partners and saying things like "I've had a really crap day at work, let's go out for a drink/I'm bringing wine home etc". And I was thinking if "normal" people rely on alcohol as a stress reliever it's not surprising those of us who are addicted have such a hard time resisting it sometimes.

Right, I'm off to work. Deep breaths....

[Sweaty Betty]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Morning - please tell me its Thursday? I don't want to do Wednesday again Lol!

Loppy and Marshy - I enjoyed the positivity - thanks!

I've decided to go to the gym later in the evenings - I think I need the distraction, and the endorphins can't do any harm.....

I'm about to go back and have my underactive Thyroid checked - I really feel quite 'unbalanced' hormone wise so will go back and look at DoggyGirls advice and make sure I ask the doc for all the tests I should have.

Hi to all to come.

Bxx

[rustop61]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Hi everyone

Thanks for getting us started Loppy, I too hope its Thursday, didnt have time to post yesterday so perhaps I'm getting a two in one, lol.

Hope everything works out work wise Marshy. I often wonder how many people are drinking to excess and kidding themselves that it is not a problem. At least here at MWO we have faced up to the fact that there is a problem and are doing something about it.

I had a quick read through yesterdays thread and something you said Sweaty Betty really struck a chord. There has been a lot of talk about resentment and how it drives us to drink. I too gave up a career a. because I wanted to be with my babies and b. because I was not getting the support I needed from hubby. As a result hubby has had things much easier. Never thought about it before but maybe there was a little bit of I'll show him related to my wine consumption. Thats the great thing about MWO as well as all the support you receive there is a lot of food for thought, particularly with this thread.

Am extremely busy at the moment but a good busy and I find when I am doing things I enjoy, Al does not seem to feature near as much.

Rustop

[lilmea]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

if "normal" people rely on alcohol as a stress reliever it's not surprising those of us who are addicted have such a hard time resisting it sometimes

Marshy-I've been thinking the same thing lately! I've almost stopped watching TV because so many of the programs will show people at the end of a stressful day having a "drink" to unwind. It seems that higher more frequent levels of AL consumption have become more acceptable. But regardless of what's going on in the "outside world" I know that the decision to drink or not is mine. What is acceptable for other people is not for me.

Loopy, Rusto-You two are sounding positive today.

Sweaty-Good for you about going to the Doc. I think we forget how important it is to take care of ourselves physically.

This is the last day of work for my hubby. Retirement parties tomorrow at the plant and one on Sat. with friends and family. I'm having mixed feelings about this. I know it will be a big adjustment and I'm pretty set in my ways! LOL!

I hope everyone who follows has a great day.

[dill]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Good Morning, Loppy, Marshy, Sweaty, Rusty and Lil, and all to follow,

The subject of why we drink/drank is on my mind today. Sweaty's post about resentment was thought provoking. I imagine as time goes on, I'll understand more , but right now, I am more inclined to think that for myself, I fall more into Determintator's "why". It's a predisposition? Genetic? For me it started out as a nice drink at the end of a stressful day, as Marshy was talking about. Like 'normal' people do. But the nice drink just grew over time, gradually, until it was definitely no longer nice. No longer a way to unwind.

Lil, I wish you well with the life change you are beginning with your hb retiring. My hb lost his job and is home all the time. It is a huge adjustment. Not having alone time is something I resent. I have to figure something out. A good way to deal with this that is constructive. I know you will do that. You are one strong woman!

[retteacher]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Loppy: You mentioned how w/giving up AL your panic attacks have subsided. Isn't it ironic how we drank to quell our fears, only to have them magnified through drinking. I got to the point where I couldn't drive on the highway, because I was so fearful. I had so many fears, not the least of which was being discovered as an alcoholic. Now that the truth about my alcoholism is out, my fears are slowly leaving me. I have a busy couple of days coming up, but I'll check back later. Mary

[Cinders]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Hi all. Got into Beantown last night and will be busy with my client but will check back in later.

Resentments are the AA Step I am stuck on.

I asked my sponsor to set aside a meeting time with me to help me get started.

Love to all and have a wonderful AF day.
Cindi

ps My SIL woke up briefly yesterday. Good news!! My brother sounded so relieved. He loves her very much. Will know tomorrow if the mass was malignant or benign.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Resentment big for me too. I used to do things hubby refused to do but would get even by drinking in the process. That's a lot of drinking.

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Morning all - quick check in from me - lots to do, can't stop!!

Loppy (and anyone else who has relapsed recently) - you are absolutely right to look at the overall picture, I can't stress that enough. That was where I went wrong. You will see from my "signature" that last year after I relapsed I looked at the overall picture and count up the number of AF days. It's so easy to say "what the hell" and keep drinking again, but you mustn't do that - you must realise that you are still doing so much better than before and keep going. With this mind set you can achieve much much more and feel so much more positive.

I'm feeling better today and i'll stop by again later

Have a good day all

[Chief]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Day 4 today!

Yesterday was cool......we have a pond in front of our house and every year the same pair of ducks come to have their babies. We've been watching Mama duck sitting on her nest the past month. Yesterday the eggs hatched and she had 14 baby ducks! After they hatch, Mama gets them in the water and they swim and eat and drink for a couple hours and then Mama takes them across the road, through a woods, to a bigger lake about 1/4 mile away. She does this every year.....I think she has her brood here because it's a smaller pond and I've built a duckhouse for her that sits out in the water so no varmits can get to the nest. She then takes them to the bigger lake where there are more ducks and geese and much more cover for them to hide (once the eggs hatch and they leave the nest, they don't go back to the nest).....so it was cool watching Mama and babies for a few hours until they left a couple hours before dusk.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Don

[LVT25]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Quote from lilmea--"I've almost stopped watching TV because so many of the programs will show people at the end of a stressful day having a "drink" to unwind. It seems that higher more frequent levels of AL consumption have become more acceptable. But regardless of what's going on in the "outside world" I know that the decision to drink or not is mine. What is acceptable for other people is not for me."

This could be the motto for the group I'm working with. Not only the movie industry--Unfortunately whether they admit it or not--some of the advertising target our young people. They make it look so fun and inviting! And then they see all of us having so much fun drinking--what they don't see is what we hide.

I'd love to comment more--for all of you struggling or have health issues or families with health issues--please know I think of you and care!:h

Yesterday was busy and hectic--I was tired and cranky. I need to get more organized if I'm going to do this to myself!! I didn't have any thoughts of AL--but in the past I used it to put me in a good mood, when honestly all it did was postpone the bad one.

Have a great day all!:h

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Hello again

Marshy / LVT25 / Lilmea - you make some really interesting points about people using alchohol to unwind. Lilmea - I totally agree with your comment about watching TV and people consuming alcohol on programs. I don't know why i haven't mentioned this on here before but it is true - since I abstained from AL i've become SO AWARE of how often people drink on TV in drama's etc - it just goes on all the time. I wasn't aware of it before - everyone seems to be drinking - and in the early days just watching this raised a craving. Seeing this on TV in some ways is even worse as sitting in a bar with real people having alcoholic drinks, it is tough to watch. What do others think?

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Good morning Ablanders one and all!

On the topic of drinking as seen on TV / have times changed with regard to "drinking to unwind" and how "acceptable that is......

I have to say at this stage I think I'm pretty numb to the glamorized drinking images. Either that or I don't watch shows where glammed up drinking is part of it (very possible! LOL not much drinking goes on during Hogan's Heros re-runs!). I DID have some smoking thoughts while wating 3 Faces of Eve the last few nights (I always fall asleep so watching a movie is a multi-day process). That was surprising as I rarely have smoking thoughts any more.

As far as whether times have changed, I'm not so sure. I think there is a HIGH expectation that we be able to drink in a controlled fashion, but be able to control it and not get drunk. I think it's been that way for quite awhile in our society (I can only speak for US, and really my own areas of experience in US!) I remember 30+ years ago as a waitress and bar tender where it was very common for professional people to get down right drunk, and have long lunches involving lots of drinking, etc. I'm not sure exactly when that changed, but the tolerance for drinking at lunch and drinking to a drunk state seemed to drop by the time I was in my late twenties.

What really used to drop my jaw was my mangement job in Florida where I was responsible for a department with 500+ people at the end of it. And the average age was probably 25 in that group. And the vendors whose products we sold were dripping with money to spend on my sales people. The party was ON. The company considered it perfectly acceptable to have this continuous round of "social eventing" going on practically every night of the week. BUT....there was also a constant watch - not so much regarding people's safety, but more like "who is getting out of control and let's have a talk with their manager about their bad behavior" kind of thing. Of course I HAD to stay very aware of this as I always wanted to drink way more than what was "socially acceptable" as far as my employer was concerned. So my standard cover story became.... "they don't want the boss hanging around all night so I'll just stay a little bit and leave...." Then I would either meet up with friends at a different bar or go home and keep drinking.

Maybe I just come from an odd industry (computer wholesale distribution) but when I went to work for my FL company's larger competitor, the "rules" about drinking seemed much the same. The booze was always flowing readily, but GOOD sale people / managers / etc. can drink and never get drunk.

I'm so grateful to be out of that quagmire!

Chief I LOVE the story about your duck family!

It's raining again today. Our grass will be 3 feet high before it's dry enough to mow! Things are looking great in my little garden as of yesterday. Although I think I hoed a few sprouting carrots thinking they were weeds. Oops.

I havent' been to the garden center this week and today is my "mentor's" day off. I think I will go there early tomorrow AM and hopefully beat any weekend rush in the works. I want to start getting some tomatoes and a few things like that in the ground. (yeah...I know...risky around here before Mother's Day, but that's only a week away!)

Anyway.... Have a great AF day one and all.

DG

[Determinator]

AF Daily Wednesday 30 April

Happy thursday ABland!!!

Loppy, thanks for the positive kickstart.

Marshy, you have discovered the 13th step..... icecream!

regarding the glorification of al in movies it reminds me of the same thing with cigarettes. in all the pictures and adverts from the 50's and 60's the models and movie stars all posed with a ciggy in hand. it was the thing to do. but now.....you'd just never see that. i hope that may be the course with AL as well. Regardless of how the screwed-up perverts in Whoreywood direct our media one thing is for sure.....I cannot let it influence my life. I must direct my own life.

Chief, your observations on the duck family made my day! I'm a gun nut but only shoot animals with my camera. I love all of natures critters.

be well everyone and all to come