Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

[Doggygirl]

Be right back!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Hello all and Happy Monday! Mary, congratulations on your progress with the steps. You are sounding so positive and good, and I suspect you FEEL that good too which is wonderful if that's the case!

Yesterday was an interesting day at AA. I'm really glad I go this this Sunday morning group as it is a study of the 12 steps AND traditions. What I'm hearing is that there aren't very many meetings that specifically study the traditions like that. (just based on comments during the meeting over time)

One guy summed up the first tradition in a way that hit home for me. "It doesn't matter if 'you' want to keep unity with me. But my sobriety DEPENDS on 'me' keeping unity with you." (I understood him to mean that unity is "getting along" or acceptance of one another.)

Another guy said "The 12 steps prevent suicide. The 12 traditions prevent homicide." Sort of funny but somewhat true!

One of the Sunday morning regulars who was just getting back to the wagon around the time I started going to AA came to the meeting seeming tipsy or high yesterday. He wasn't falling down drunk, but was just a little too giggly and a little too happy and spoke or clapped a little bit at inappropriate times. Of course nobody said anything publically - I'm guessing one of the guys probably checked up on him after the meeting. But it made me think of the many many times I drank "just a little" before going to events or family gatherings where everyone else was sober. I thought I did just fine but I was mortified yesterday to realize that I probably came off just like this guy. Even though I wasn't falling down drunk, I would be just tipsy enough to be inappropriate even when I *thought* I was fine and hiding it well. I'm glad those days are behind me.

I also thought of the angst and difficulty we go through telling people that we are alcoholics or that we are trying to stop drinking. I'm quite sure that the non drinkers or truly normal drinkers ALREADY KNEW I had a problem because of behavior like this. I really believe the people who were more like "you're not a problem drinker...." were either masking their own concerns with their own drinking (if I am OK, then they must be OK...on the other hand...If my drinking volumes are a problem then their drinking volumes might be a problem). Or they were just "being polite" or something. There is no way that my "tipsiness" no matter how mild could go unnoticed to a room fool of sober people. I suspect I was the "crazy neice/daughter/DIL/SIL/sister" at family gatherings for all those many years.

I suppose I will end up having to make some ammends over this. I guess I can be thankful that it wasn't any worse (i.e. damaging people's property or something along those lines) because it sure could have been.

Always food for thought and I am grateful to be trying to learn and grow for a better future rather than continue wallowing around in my drunken past.

On a positive note, one guy at the club has some rental property and a tennant moved out in the middle of the night leaving behind all of their kids clothes. While I hope that family is OK, the guy needed to do something to get the house cleaned out so a bunch of us packed up the clothes and moved them where they will be donated. It's good to know they will go to people who need them rather than in the trash or something. For a landlord, that would have been the easiest thing to do.

Have a great day all!

DG

[cymru]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

A great post to start this week. Very thought provoking.
You can always see when someone has been drinking in a meeting, and as you said dg, the ammount of times i would drink before going out to have 'that buzz' and not have to down drinks when i got to the party. It must of been pretty obvious to everyone I had been drinking, but to me, by drinking normally with my fellows, i was being normal. the fact that when it was my round I would have a quick double didnt help, and I was always wasted by the time others were 'happy'.
By asking my higher power to remove my fear of drinking and relapse I can today live without that fear and mental obsession.
Have a great bank holiday monday everyone.

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

hi doggy lady and cy,this is a good forum,newbies at AA,im not a newbie,that is a good thing,but none of us are newbies with drink,i,feel that is one of the not so positive things of AA,,but, that's me,i find it like drinking, to much to tolerate,,very irresponsible of someone ,who goes to a AA meeting under the influence,the words ,the will to stop,means what they say,a will to stop,if you were in treatment,if you do that,no second chances,your out,same as being late,meetings at 10,they mean ten,doors shut,responsibility,just like the people with years of sobriety,get up,and pleasantly ask the person to leave,as you both go on with AA,listening to you both,over time your toleration levels,will decrease,you put a lot of work and effort into having sobriety,dont you deserve the respect,and rewards, im proud to cal you both my friends,love listening to your progress ,have a wonderful 24,your gyco

[Popeye]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Hi there.
I've been attending meetings on a Monday night for a few months now. I'm not 'a member' yet but I sit in on the meetings and listen to the speakers. I know a few of the people there from years ago who have turned their lives around. I like it.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

DG: Many thanks for starting us off this week. I'll be reading your post again when I have a little more time. Ditto on the going to sober events w/a few under my belt. I remember concentrating so hard on trying to seem "normal." Why oh why did I do that? Who knows. I go to a step/trad meeting once a week. It really helps the understanding process. I've heard: "The steps protect me from me, & the traditions protect the meeting from me." I've also heard the suicide/murder one. I too have seen folks who seem under the influence. There is a lot of tolerance. I've read that Bill W. kept drinking people in his home when they had nowhere else to go. I feel that the meetings should be for everyone, whether they are drinking or not. I've had so many slips & relapses. I don't know where I'd have turned if I didn't have a meeting to go to. Anyhow, it's something I have to think about.

I'm still working on step 4. I'm anticipating step 5 which I am both nervous & excited about it. It'll be the first time I talk face-to-face about my drinking w/anyone. I should be finishing up step 4 within a few weeks. Anyhow, I'll be going to my regular speaker meeting tonight. I hope everyone has a wonderful day. Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

DG: My daughter is in denial about my drinking. She's a normal drinker, but her in-law family is full of very heavy drinkers. Also, my SIL drinks a lot. I think that her denial her in-laws is related to her denial about me. Just a thought. Mary

[mario]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

hi everybody,never did this thread before,my goal is to never drink again,end of,af since jan 13th,& doing pretty good so far,but i know the old devils buttermilk is still lurking aroundso i still need all the help i can get from all you guy,s & girls,i will be checking in here a bit more often

[cymru]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

If someone has been obviously drinking in a meeting in my home group, they are asked politley to just listen and not contribute during the meeting. There is not always total silence of course, but there is always someone there to talk to them after the meeting. I think its best all round that the person, if obviously inebriated stays quiet for the meeting, so as not to cause embaressment to themselves.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Hello again! Good to *see* you Popeye and Mario. Hope you check in as often as you want and feel free to post away! Gyco, always good words of wisdom from you. I'm sure it does get harder to show tolerance for the same things after a lot of time. I'm sure that will be a challenge for me as neither tolerance nor patience are my middle name.

The meeting this morning was a very good one. We ended up talking a lot about spirituality v. religion. One guy mentioned a book that he found very helpful in distinguishing between the two. He had to leave the meeting early so I didn't get a chance to get the title and author, but I made a big note in my journal so hopefully I will remember to ask him about it tomorrow.

Another thing that came up relates to a very minor incident I had this weekend where I ended up not being very proud of my reaction to something. It was just a discussion forum spat. I asked a question that seemd very simple and straight forward to me (such as "how do you change a roll of toilet paper"). I got a reply from someone that struck me as very know it all and pretentious and way beyond what I asked. (such as "here's how I remodeled my bathroom around that roll of toilet paper, and YOU should do it that way TOO.") I should have just ignored it knowing that others woulc come along with relevant replies to my question, but I couldn't resist the temptation and gave a smart ass response. I didn't need to do that, and *I'm* the one who ended up feeling bad for it.

A more life critical example came up at today's meeting where a guy responded badly to some circumstances in his household. Another person's behavior is what started the whole thing, but he reacted badly to it. This situation got me thinking about the two examples and how they are really the same thing - just different degrees of "life impact."

I want to be a decent person no matter what the circumstances. The test of my character will not be found in how I respond to good things happening when I am in a good mood. The test is how I respond to all things - especially bad things - no matter WHAT sort of mood I am in. I want to become the kind of person who can be decent under any circumstance. I will never be perfect at this, but I have a lot of growth opportunity!

On a positive note, I was thinking about a parental visit yesterday and how my reactions to the family circumstances are so much better and more appropriate then they used to be. I realized I didn't get upset at all yesterday about things that haven't even happened yet. Yes, in the past I have often worked myself into a real tizzy over anticipated future events! I'm sure I will do that again, but hopefully be more aware so I can stop myself before it goes as far as I have taken it in the past. Progress.

Anyway, keep those cards 'n letters comin'.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

cymru: I agree w/what you meeting does. I've noticed that most of the inebriated people usually opt to stay quiet. I can usually tell by the way they move...either stumbling or very, very carefully. I'm sure some of the old-timers speak to them afterwards.

Knowing how difficult it is to stay sober, especially in the beginning, I think that someone could say something in a meeting that might strike a chord w/them.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

DG: We cross-posted. I too am looking at my reactions more closely. I'm trying to live the teachings of the program. I'm finding that it makes for a much happier me. Usually I'm pretty even-tempered, but when I drive (which I do a lot, because my husb has a cataract), I get really defensive about his back-seat driving. No amount of rational discussion is changing his behavior. I'm going to have to change mine. I don't have to "react" when he coaches, prompts, reminds etc. while I'm behind the wheel. There's something about it that is very reminiscent of the past (w/Mom criticizing everything I did). I must just remember that I'm not a child anymore. I can let things go wo/a struggle.

Mary

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Hi Everyone,
As I was cleaning out my desk this weekend it occurred to me that while I am getting rid of the clutter in my house one drawer at a time, I am cleaning up my life one day at a time.
I completely emptied out these over flowing drawers full of junk and it looked like a chaotic mess until I was done and now the drawers are clean and organized.
Same with the clutter in my head. As I pull it all out and put in on paper, what a mess, but when I finish the steps, I see freedom ahead

[hiddengoal]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

OkeyDokey - What a chord you ring! I have decided that my house is symbolic of my life and happiness. It is rather chaotic in most rooms and I don't even know where to begin when I have time. I keep hoping that as the AF times continues I will be able to tackle this house, but its too overwhelming for someone with a busy schedule.

I wonder if 'putting physical things in order' is a step somewhere....

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

I am just checking in to let you know I am still here and going to at least a meeting a day. I don't have time to post because I just got home from one. Just wated to let you know I'm sticking with it and feel great.