Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

[Popeye]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Hello all,
Well I was at a meeting last night. The speaker was very good; just the right amount of humour and seriousness. As I said before, I go mostly for the inspiration and to remind myself, if any reminder were needed, why I don't want to drink any more.
One thing that is often mentioned is that just going and listening isn't always enough. They recommend that I embrace the whole thing, get a sponsor and work my way through the steps. I don't really feel that need just now, but I've been told that if I don't go the whole hog there is a greater chance that I'll end up back where I was. Now I dare say these guys know what they're talking about and I know that I don't know everything, but I know me. When I go I talk to other alcoholics and tell some of my story occasionally, I listen to the experiences of others and always leave pleased with my sobriety and ready to face another week. I don't want to sound like I know it all but I'm content with the way things are going and I don't feel the need to delve any further, at least not yet. I don't want to be obsessed by sobriety, more accepting that being sober is only one part of the way I am. I really enjoy the meetings and they are have an important part to play in my recovery. I do feel though that I may not be contributing as much as I could by not particiating fully but maybe that'll come. I've got to get myself right first.
Just my thoughts....

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Popeye,

My sponsor has been sober 7 years.

She said it took her 18 months before she started the steps. And she didn't want to hear about God at all.

She finally did embrace the whole shebang and loves her sober life.

I think AA is good, whether we do the program or not. I do feel a big weight lifted off my shoulders when I walk into a meeting and I know I am with others who are like me and understand about the drinking.

Do what you feel works.

Love,
Cindi

[Guitarista]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Greetings all,
My approach would be similar to yours, Popeye, in some ways. 'Being sober is only one part of the way i am'. I relate to that thinking. Best wishes........

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

I went to the 7:30am meeting this morning. There was about 60 people there. A really good group. The speaker has 40 years sober :wow:. He was so easy to listen to and spoke very eloquently. He was so grateful and had such a peace about him and that is what I want too. I shared when the microphone got to me and after the meeting I got lots of hugs and phone numbers. He came up and hugged me as well. The support and fellowship is something I am really holding on to now. I hope I don't lose the enthusiasm.

The main message today was "Do the next right thing"

[mario]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

hi all,i haven't gone to any aa meetings yet,i go to a group forum once a week,that is run by the health board,i am also on another website,so that's 3 sports i have in place,not counting partner & family,i have also focused big time on my weight & health issueswhich keeps me busy.

[mario]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

:That should have being supports:H

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Hi everyone! Okey, without really thinking of it I too have slowly been uncluttering my life both literally and figuratively as I have gotten more sober time under me. I don't like the chaos that was my life, and the less chaos I have in my life now the further away I feel from AL's grip!

HG, I absolutely understand how overwhelming it feels to have chaos all around, and not know where to start, and have limited time. Believe it or not, this web site helped me get going and I still apply several little tricks daily that help me stay on top of things. FlyLady.net: Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home. Believe it or not, Mr. Doggy secretly used some of the tips to get on top of the yard work (we have somewhere between 5 and 6 acres that is mowed and tended including flower beds and all that jazz)

PP - it sounds like you had an awesome experience this morning. Whatever works!

Popeye and Mario, I too have heard many people talk about taking it slow rather than diving right in. I also recently read a summary of a research project that showed the #1 "thing" about the AA program that shows the strongest correlation to sobriety is meeting attendance. Spirituality is second. Not to say that the entire program doesn't have value, but to each his own and WHATEVER WORKS. AA has been around a very long time and if the members I attend meetings with have anything to say about it, it will be around for a very long time to come LOL! So there is plenty of time to do as you are doing, and someday do more or not or whatever. Just don't drink.

Just like MWO or SMART or any other recovery program, it is full of people with a wide variety of opinions. The common bond is the goal of sobriety.

Cindi I'm slow on the steps too. But I share your feeling that when I attend meetings I feel a sense of relief and strength about staying sober that day. I'm not sure what it is, but when I leave that place I'm not thinking about drinking.

Today's meeting was a good one on the topic of self righteousness. I wish I had time to type more about it but I just came to do a quick check in then get my butt out to the garden! It's supposed to storm the next couple of days so I want to beat the rain. I am realizing that self righteousness plagues me in many ways, but one of the ways I use it associated with drinking is to fend off any criticism of my drinking. If I deserved a criticism or word of caution / concern about my behavior, and smelled it coming, I was quick to turn the tables and be critical of the person who might have good reason to criticize me. "Strike first." Here's how I'm better than you...you're a _____________ or you do ____________________ (insert criticisms). So self righteousness was one of my defense mechanisms to keep the party going just the way *I* wanted it to.

I'm beginning to understand what is meant in AA by character defects. Hey - I'm certainly not perfect! And who needs to deal with me when I'm acting all self righteous or any other bad behavior. I suffer when I do that as well as people around me. Actually it's me who suffers the most. So yep - I'm prepared to admit that I have flaws whatever label one prefers to give them. I'm getting OK with character defects as a phrase. (It's just a phrase!) And I think I will like myself better if I can work on some of these and reduce their "appearances" in my daily actions. And if a higher power is willing to help me with some self improvement, that's cool by me.

OK - now I'm off to garden! Great hearing from everyone. I love listening to the old timers - they have a LOT of wisdom about life in general among them - way beyond "just" sobriety.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Hi Everyone: I think that the whole "take what you like & leave the rest" philosophy of AA is the best course to take. People do the steps when the time is right for them. I felt I needed to go through them right away; however, I was familiar w/them already, having been an Alanon member for some time (the programs are different though). I really need to get some hidden things out in the open, & the steps are forcing me to do that. I also need to get to the root of my problem w/drinking...again, the steps are forcing me to do that.

I'm off to a speaker meeting tonight. I look forward to it.

Mary

[Popeye]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Thanks for the advice.
PP What a great way to start the day.
I'm really glad you've got your enthusiasm and spirit back.
:l

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Last night's speaker meeting was interesting. There was a lot of follow-up discussion about relapses (since the speaker had relapsed a few times after quite a long time in sobriety). I am aware that I'm vulnerable to relapse. I do get those thoughts: "I'm not so bad." or "Maybe I can mod." or "AA might not be for me." I know that's my LOWER power talking, & I need my Higher Power to counteract those thoughts. I'm enjoying life sober, but I can feel (after 44 days sober) the "pink cloud" wearing off. I also feel myself cutting corners w/my program (i.e. going a day or 2 wo/working on the steps or reading the daily readings). The AAers call that "buttoning up." As soon as I get off the computer, I'm going to get down on my knees & pray, & I'm going to get my books & work for 15 mins on my step 4. There I said it! Now I'm going to do it! Mary

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Hi All,
Not much time but wanted to say I totally understand what you mean HD about the house being so overwhelming. I have pushed everything in drawers, closets, under the beds, spare rooms, boxes, basement, etc over the years so if you walked in it would "appear" to be clean but I know all the hidden crap is there and it has made me feel like crap thinking about it.
Since I've turned it over to my HP as I have my will and my life, I have a little more peace about it and know it will take some time. The drawers in my desk barely put a dent in things but I know it will get done eventually and right now I need to make my sobriety priority because I don't want to SLIP (sobirity loses it's priority) as my sponsor put it. Just as my life "appeared" to be fine, there is a lot of hidden crap in there that is getting cleaned out with the steps.

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

overwhelming household chores, drawers, closets overflowing,,,how I can relate.

Mary, you took the words out of my mouth in reference to the may I can mod, I;m not so bad, etc. Why do these things go through our heads?
Still having a tough time about talking in the AA mtgs, mostly just listening and no sponsor yet, but I keep on going and listening and reading the Big Book and other AA literature. I am truly amazed at the number of young people at these mtgs. I would have never guessed.

Winefree

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

WF: I too don't share very much at meetings. I do have a sponsor...it makes all the difference. The "I'm not so bad" thinking is my denial...pure & simple. Mary

[Cntrygrl]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

DG,
I am new here. About 5 days. 14 days AL. I keep popping in and out and reading and posting a little. Trying to find the right place for me.

I have read some of your other posts. I beleive your first post was the first I read here. This post was from some time ago and you have had some wonderful success since. I find your posts encouraging and helpful.

I have a question I hope you don't mind me asking - At what point did you decide to seek AA. If I am correct you originally did not want to take this route, which is where I am at, but I am strugling to not drink because it's just what I did. I miss it. I am bored and I start questioning my own resons for stopping. What helped you get past these points?

I'm thinking maybe I need to focus on something else, like exercise.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - May 4 through May 10

Hi Countrygirl! (well, I'm not used to abbreviating stuff!) Welcome to My Way Out. Thank you for the nice compliments. Anything I have achieved by way of sobriety has only been accomplished with a lot of help from people here, and now many people in AA, and using the tools and suggestions that have been proven to help.

I am very familiar with your current thinking - missing the party, missing the percieved fun, missing AL. And for me, NOT wanting to accept the fact that I'm alcoholic and cannot safely drink at all. Caysea and some other folks here were posting about exercise being a healthy move for them, so I dove into that. It was a good move for me. So I don't think you will go wrong with exercise! In AA they talk about "changing your people, places and things." That just means to (for not) stay away from AL and all AL triggers that you can.

There is a "Toolbox" thread that is "stickied" at the top of this monthly abstinence section. It's a good read with a wide variety of stuff in it. You will probably find several ideas that resonate with you. For me, I wish I had be more open minded about AA much earlier on. It has made a huge difference for me. I wish I had made some sort of agreement with myself that I would try out a minimum of X number of meetings before saying "it wasn't for me" without even trying. One of the biggest values I find - that was difficult for me to find elsewhere - is being able to talk DAILY and in person with people who have achieved sobriety through many, many years (lots of 20+ and 30+ years sober people where I go) and every up and down in life that I can imagine. I have found that tremoundously comforting and helpful. Of course only you can decide if you want to give it a whirl. (or a judge often decides but let's not go there!!!!! )

Keep reading and posting and most importantly, NOT DRINKING. Don't be fooled by that part of your brain where AL lives....trying every trick in the book to get a fix.

Best wishes!

DG