Friday, August 18th

[sujul]

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Albert Einstein

I am not insane, therefore I am fully aware of exactly what the result will be if I drink: I will get drunk. I will be miserable. I will beat myself up. I will feel hopeless. I will feel like a total piece of sh*t.

If I expect anything different, then I am, by definition, insane. I am not insane. Period. The End.

susan

[Guest]

Friday, August 18th

Susan, I'm not insane either. I found this challenging thought also!!!!!!

"It is naively assumed that the fact that the majority of people share certain ideas or feelings proves the validity of these ideas and feelings. Nothing is further from the truth... Just as there is a 'folie a deux' there is a 'folie a millions.' The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make these vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors to be truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same form of mental pathology does not make these people sane."

Seems like yesterday was a big challenge for lots here. Challenges are there to be overcome.
Lets get to it.
Brigid

[Lou]

Friday, August 18th

Wonderfull Susan...What a great thought to start the day with!!

Good morning to everyone else...hope you all have a happy friday, am off for my morning work out now!!!

Lots a love

Lou-Lou x x

[Going Strong]

Friday, August 18th

Well I have found my Sanity!

Hi Guys,
I must have been insane for along time LOL! Just getting my sanity back and starting to realise that if you keep hitting your head against a brick wall you a gonna get a headache :H
Boy was I a slow learner :blush:
Good thoughts for everybody and have a great sober weekend.:l

[YoungAtHeart]

Friday, August 18th

Morning, Abbers!

Going to be a busy few days for me between sewing, and volunteering on Sat. for a local political outdoor picnic (no booze, meet new people, YAY!), so I'm looking forward to that. Feeling calmer about things and letting go of the anticipatory anxiety about stuff that MAY OR MAY NOT even happen.

It is so good to be in Absville. I am grateful for it everyday. Despite my slips, I feel that the attitude here is just good for me. Sometimes gritty, but always inspiring! I'm also grateful that this weekend will provide more diversions for me than usual, and I feel that it will (hopefully) be easier for me not to drink because I have these other things to do that don't involve drinking.

Anyway, TGIF Abbers!!
Kathy:l

[Mackeral]

Friday, August 18th

Hiya all,
God i have really missed this place..I didn't realise how much i need it. I had loads of connection problems mainly through the phone line and not AOL like i thought hence why it has taken so long for me to get back online.
I've been having a lot of doubts latley about how i want the rest of my life to go without drink....I dont know if it was because i didnt have you guys to talk to or what, but on Monday night i had my first drink for 10 weeks...I got the idea in my head that i could or should be able to handle a drink once a month and no more....So i got myself a litre of rum and drank the lot in about 2 hours.....
It didnt live upto the hype that i had built up as a fantasy in my head of what it would be like to be able to have one more good blowout...Infact i just felt guilt all night and couldnt enjoy myself at all.....The next morning i just felt confused....WHY did i do that..10 weeks hard...hard work wasted for what.
I think the pressure just reached a boiling point..There are a lot of people on both sides of the family who know my situation and to me the pressure of keeping them all happy by me not drinking was unbearable...I saw my parents at weekend and mentioned that i might go for the once a month idea....It wasnt received too well...Im a 30 year old man for gods sake why do i feel like i need permision of everyone before i do anything?
I dont know if i will have a drink next month, suppose i'm just gonna play it by ear and see what happens....Not gonna drink before then .
My heads a bit messed up latley and i'm not the same tenacious me i was a couple of weeks ago.

Anyhow its dead good to be back...I missed you all like mad.....Mackeral xxx

[southernbelle47]

Friday, August 18th

Good Friday Abbers!

I feel much better today. A couple of days rest and stayed inside out of the heat and feel ready for a great weekend of wedding dinners and showers. All af! Yea......Nice people to be around but everybody is feeling the stress of getting past the wedding and being able to actually enjoy it. It IS a celebration of love and commitment. Beautiful!

Hey Mac...good to see you back! Honey, check Shas's post on the "head banging"....we ARE going to have a headache!! We all have to look for ways to reward ourselves without use of the drug. Like maybe another fishing trip once a month?? Maybe? Or get a sitter and take the wife out once a month? Anyway..we are all a work in progress...keep progressing...

Gotta run...

Nancy & Belle

[wwbarb]

Friday, August 18th

Day 19

19 days, I can not believe I am here! Once I got through the first weekend, it was a piece of cake. This weekend, I am going to try to go to the pub and not drink. We like to play darts, so I'll try that to keep my mind busy.

Mack, I hear what you are saying re: the rest of your life and drinking. My hubby told me he was proud of me last night, and I told him that I am not going to go back to the way I was before. Right now, I really believe that I can do moderation. I don't want to feel like crap anymore in the mornings. I keep thinking of what "rules" I am going to live by when I am done with my 30 days. Two more weekends to go, maybe longer if I decide to go to my birthday (September 12), cuz, trust me, I am having a single malt scotch on that day.

have a great day, all

Barb

[dieann]

Friday, August 18th

Welcome back to the wagon, Wayne. What did you learn with the rum? That abs is better? Seriously, I know you gleened some knowledge from your experiment. Don't worry about what your family thinks. Worry about what YOU think. What works best for you?

I am on Day 18. I ran last night and then spent the rest of the evening on the sofa reading. Ahh, it was what I needed.

Thinking I will do my own hop of the wagon experiment at the end of September when I go to San Francisco with a group of friends. Since I was only planning to abs for August, this doesn't seem unreasonable.

I'm really just shocked and surprised at how good I feel. I didn't know!!!

[dieann]

Friday, August 18th

Barb, have you read the Moderation Management book? Responsible Drinking? I just got it in the mail.

[gabby]

Friday, August 18th

Hey Mac, I want to do a big long post but no time. I can later.
I did get to stay with dad anther week. YEAH!

Mac, I cant deny that I dont feel sad each time I read about someone gettin the days added up and then slip. I have a ton of feelings about it. Truthfully most that I dont share here instead I encourage to just put it behind ya and get back on the horse and ride again. I dont feel like its lieing and sugar coating tho. Its cuz theres simply nothing else ya can do about it. I think if ya beat on yourself a bit....its healthy shame. But, way to often because of our human nature to say to ourself the bad self talk which is, "I am a failure now", and that only takes us down the wrong road of self destruction that all to easily puts us right back where we were before we started this program. Be careful my friend of that hole. The other main reason is my own fear. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that without the help of topa, this would have already happened to me. I did my count. Day 73 now for me. I am very happy and proud, yet very fearful at the same time. I feel like one little slip, one night, one buzz, is all it would take for me to hop over to the other road. JUST DONT DO THAT PART. Personally I dont think you can have that one night a month thing. Especially with out the topa. If you have a true problem with alcohol.....its just like that sayin the church had I saw the other day. "Dont give the devil a ride....He will be in the drivers seat before ya know it". And if ya dont have a problem with alcohol....then why are you here? Be careful my friend. And I hope I havent made you or anyone mad. The truth is....I may sound strong, but I am scared. I have to go now. Gabbs

[YoungAtHeart]

Friday, August 18th

Back again for a few minutes!

Just wanted to pop back on for a few and say hey! I'm relieved to have just sealed up the letter and papers to my lawyer. Now, it's out of my hands, at least for the moment.....:crossed:

Glad to see you back, Wayne. Your experiment was a bit of a bust, huh? It's hard to think about what YOU really want and need when you're thinking about what your family wants. It has to be what YOU want. I think that outside of your wife and what the two of you really need to make things work, you've gotta look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. If you can drink once a month, that's great!!! But can you????? Only you can truly answer that for sure as you look at yourself in the mirror. Meanwhile, it is good to see you back here, and I hope your head doesn't hurt too bad from banging it against that brick wall, buddy!:nutso:

Nancy, Barb and Dieann, you guys are doing great...I need to follow your example more! Keep up the good work.:wd:

Oh, and Gabby, great that you can have more time with Dad!! I don't think you're demented for wishing bad things on your ex---heck, if we all loved our ex's we'd likely still be married to them, right???


Take care all,
Kathy

[dieann]

Friday, August 18th

It is scary, isn't it, Gabby?

[YoungAtHeart]

Friday, August 18th

Good Thoughts, Gabsters!

Hey Gabby,

I don't think that you are sugar-coating or lying. People usually feel lousy enough about their slips or relapses and are beating themselves up enough. Rubbing salt in the wound isn't useful. Encouraging them to make the best of it is. I appreciate your thoughtful sharing of your own feelings of fear for yourself. You are always so upbeat and supportive, so that was like giving us all a present of a deeper part of you! So thanks! And you, too, Dieann, for the echo!

I know that when I screw up, it is hard for me to post it. Even if I sound "breezy" when I post--it's a lie!! Inside, I am dying of shame. The fact that people have been supportive of me here has meant so much to me. When I peek at the posts later and find support instead of criticism, I am always so relieved.

And Wayne, stay near, okay? I think I'm safe in saying that we all love our Mackeral Man! :h In good times and bad!

Hugs,
Kathy:l

[Mackeral]

Friday, August 18th

Hiya,

Thanks everyone,
I know what your saying Gabby, i know the next month is going to be 10 times harder than if i was still on 10 weeks, maybe it was an exsperiment,i'm 4 days now and have no intention of going back to where i was but would like to think i'm a bit wiser now. Still makes me a bit sad aswell though. I've given something away that i was so proud of.
Me and you were at about the same place....I know you wont give your hard earned abs up...
Dieann if i've learned anything its that drink is never gonna live up to its exspectations...I had great fun drinking when i was about 20 and out with friends, but now drinking at home watching tv isnt all that....If i do drink again its gonna be out....And make it count.
Kathy, Nancy , Susan , Barb , Lou , and everyone else thankyou so much...Its brilliant to have all your support and not be judged or get an earfull or say i told you so.

I did get told off a bit from Gabby Lou and Kathy though for disappearing......Wont happen again...Sorry about that....
Love........Wayne