AF daily Saturday 9 May

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning all,

Another early start but this time because I have so much on my mind.

Pamina I am so sorry about your friend. When I read it I was immediately flooded with emotions. Anger doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about the NHS missing something so treatable. I think you are great being able to get through this AF. What a year.

By comparison what is on my mind is so trivial but being hopeless at dealing with emotions, I feel so much, that my chest actually hurts. Some of you may remember that I have free running house rabbits as companions and that I lost my beloved Suggs to old age after 11.5 years in March.

For the last month I have been trying to bond a new rescue boy bunny with my girl who also had a dreadful first 5 years of her life until she came to live with me. My set up means that I can only realistically have a pair of buns, I can't have 2 fighting ones running loose. They are not bonding because Lady M is a total passive agressive and they both want to be boss. All of this not helped by her having to have an op last week to remove a lump.

Normally if I want anything badly enough I can have it if I only work hard enough, but this is totally outside my control. And I want it so much because Rusty is a total poppet. A huge personality, curious but also affectionate and even after just a month I love him so much.

Anyway they are both going back to the rescue centre today for a week to see if they are able to bond them, because if they can't no one can. If they can't bond them Rusty the new boy will have to be found a different home. I feel so .......... about possibly dumping him back at a rescue. I feel so helpless because this is between the two buns. Oh well guess I just have to accept the things I cannot change.

Tell me does it ever get any easier dealing with emotions? I can understand why I chose to self medicate for so many years but..... I choose not to do it any more.

Sorry LVT but I have a mental picture of you and that garage door and it did make me giggle.

Anyway that is enough of me and my petty worries.

Have a great day

[startingover]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

Hi everyone.
Loppy I really feel for you on the bunny situation. The same thing happened to me when I took a dog from a shelter that was very difficult and had been unable to find a home for 2 years. All was well for a time and then he started fighting with one of my long termers. I had to send him back to the shelter, I have never wept so much or felt so dreadful in my life. Once visiting the shelter, he heard our voices the crying was pitiful, I hated myself then.
The upshot of the story is that I worked my butt off to find someone with enough patience and knowledge to take on this older dog with problems. I found someone and since then my beautiful Seamus has travelled Europe. Yes they still have problems, but they accept him as he is and love him for it. That dog has a home now for the rest of his life.
So, the fact that Rusty cannot live with you is terribly painful, but it might mean that he finds a home that is even better for his needs. I hope so, i know how awful you must feel.
I guess you have had him neutered?

I guess dealing with emotions is never going to be easy, but when we drank we never dealt with them so I am hoping that I although I might never find it easy, I might get better at it.

Pamina, my heart goes out to you too. My mums lung cancer was "missed' by the NHS. Fury does not cover it.

Have a great day everyone.

[rustop61]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

Hi Loppy, Starting and all to come

Really sorry about what you are going through Loppy, Starting has given you some great advice. Will be keeping my fingers crossed my namesake gets a good home. We had two sister dwarf rabbits. They did manage to live together although there were scraps at times. One died during the year but the bully is still going strong. My girls have totally outgrown her and I am the one looking after her. She is so cute to look at but I could not possibly give her to a younger child, she can be as nice as pie one minute and attack the next.

Have a great week-end everyone.

Rustop

[hiddengoal]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

Good Morning Saturday to everyone -

Just a quick one as we are off in the wind and rain, to a Lacrosse tournament. Its my 14 yr old and I take pics, and I love watching. College Daughter is home too, so it will be a family adventure - yea! But the rain and wind will definitely put a damper on it. We have had a ton of water this spring already - we will be floating away! When the teams and fans are soaking wet, mudddy, and cold, you start to wonder...

Loppy - NO PETTY WORRIES, ever. What you care about is what drives you. What you love is what moves you. What you spend your time on is what molds you. We used to have a little mini-lop when the kids were little and luckily we found him a new farm home after 6-7 years so we didn't have to go through his end of life.

You guys are all so supportive (what a place!) by commenting to eveyone's posts and acknowledging most comments. I can definitely work on that.

Woke up a little achy and queezy...yikes...6 H1N1 cases at my work/school....lets hope this feeling will pass, like I am telling all the others that have been showing up instead of hiding in the bottle.

Getting close to 30 days!

Ok...Good Day to all!

[LVT25]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

Good morning friends!

I really respect you guys that rescue these animals at the risk of it not working out! That's got to be tough! Hubby asked what the kids could get me for mother's day and I said a new dog! I don't have time for one right now, but sure miss having one around!

I'm glad I could provide a giggle with my FUBAR of a day yesterday! I felt like hell when I got home--turned out to not be such a big deal--and laughable--but at the time it was bad!
I had some drinking thoughts to go along with the stress of it all. In the past I wouldn't have thought twice about getting drunk and smoking 1/2 pack of cigarettes to "help me feel better" plus it was Friday. And then, I would have felt like crapola today. Much, much better this way!!

Have a great weekend and HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY!! This is the day I miss my mom more than any other day.....:h

[Doggygirl]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

Hello everyone! Loppy, as others have said there are no petty worries. I hope you will always talk about what it on your mind. I can fully relate to your feelings about your bunny situation. Mr. Doggy and I had a situation here with a rescue that sounds very much as you describe with your bunnies and like Starting described. We too had to take the dog back to rescue through buckets of tears and after a lot of time working with a trainer to try to solve the problems (or get the problems manageable). The trainer we worked with wrote a letter recommending the type of home environment he felt would be optimal for this dog who probably was inbred so had some disadvantages genetically, and then had led a horrible early life. He went on to be adopted as the only pet for a retired and active couple. I hope these stories give you hope that if the shelter folks cannot integrate them, he will go on to a situation that might even be better for him.

Loppy in addition to the animal love and your feelings right now which I relate to, I really relate to this:

Normally if I want anything badly enough I can have it if I only work hard enough, but this is totally outside my control.

I have lived this way and believed this way for many years. Sometimes things worked out the way I planned, but often the cycle went like this:

1. Decide exactly how I want something to turn out.
2. Decide what all I need to do, and others need to do in order to get that outcome.
3. Throw my efforts into controlling my own and all the supporting casts roles.
4. Be very disappointed / angry / self righteous / etc. if things didn't work out the way I planned. (and this was often)
5. Drink.

I can plan my own actions, but I can't control other people's actions and I can't control outcomes. This isn't a problem in me that is easy to fix. I'm having to really work on it daily when I feel myself getting upset - really getting to the bottom of it and figuring out if I am (once again) getting upset because I CAN'T control the uncontrollable. The more I can accept what I can't control, the less emotional upset I experience and the more serenity / peace of mind I experience.

I have known the words to the serenity prayer for years and years and years - probably saw it first as a needlepoint version on some relative's wall when I was a kid. But I never really examined it closely until recently. There is so much truth for me in those words.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Grant me the courage to change the things I can.
Grant me the wisdom to know the difference.

I always get in trouble with the 3rd thing.

LVT I am sorry to hear about the garage door! I had to laugh a little bit only because I could see myself doing that. I hope they are not mad at you at work!

HG - I hope you and your family have lots of fun at the Lacrosse tourny and that your whatever-is-the-currently-politically-correct-flu-name symptoms do not progress! That is scary.

Hello rustop!

Starting, I can also identify with your comment about never dealing at all with the emotions while drinking. LOL - I often behaved in what would appear a "very emotional" way, but nearly always it was a ruse in my effort at controlling things and getting my own way. It was never a sincere dealing with things that involved honest communication and real issue / conflict resolution in a mature adult way. (aka throwing a drunken temper tantrum is NOT "dealing with my emotions" LOL!)

Mr. Doggy is getting very worried about business, which has slowed dramatically since late March / early April. I am extremely grateful not to be drinking because in the old days, I would be worried in an unproductive way, busy blaming him for business being soft (YOU are not working hard enough, blah blah blah) and being all self righteous about how he is not taking care of me, etc. etc. etc. It disgusts me to even think about how I used to be all the time. Toxic. Anyway, I of course am concerned and hope the economy shows signs of improvement soon. But all we can really do is keep putting in an honest days work every day and deal with whatever comes. There are many folks who have it a lot worse than we do. I DO have to get my little shopping excursions under control. That is not helpful at all. I certainly haven't shopped away enough $$$ to make a huge difference, but over time that behavior adds up and it needs to stop.

So....no more stimulating the economy for me for awhile.

The weather is back to "May" today instead of the June type weather we've been getting to enjoy the last couple of weeks or so. Blustery and cloudy and cooler. The garden needs my attention anyway, it just won't be as pleasant! I will also be getting sides ready for mothers day. Nothing fancy...but tomorrow will be more relaxed if I prep everything today and am not racing and rushing at the last minute.

It's a great day to be sober in Doggyland.

DG

[retteacher]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

Hi Everyone: This is a late entry. My daughter roped me into a tag sale here at my house. Whew! It's a lot of work. Thank God I'm not hungover. I just wanted to check in...I feel kind of incomplete wo/doing so. Mary

[dill]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

Mary, I am not sure what a "tag sale" is. Is it a garage sale?

DG, I don't have any special way to organize pictures. I just save them in folders on my computer labelled by the year, then inside yeach year I save folders labels by the month and sometimes a descriptor. It was pretty lucky that I was able to find the dog pictures I was looking for.

It has been extremely windy here today. Sunny and in the mid-60's, but the wind was just too much. I worked in the garden until I just couldn't take it anymore! Time for some indoor chores.

Hope all are well in AF land!

[Cinders]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

It is with extreme embarrassment, self-loathing and depression that I admit to everyone here that I am once again on day 2.

But I had to be honest. Otherwise, why be here?

Love,
Cindi

[Determinator]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

better late than never!

had a very busy day off but it's been a winner. started with a trip with friends to the shooting range where I made some great progress on a new rifle (put 4 shots into 5/8 of an inch at 100 yards), then off to the gym for a great workout, then home to help Dx finish off rearranging things in the garage and shed. Now I'm ready for a break and just relax a bit.

how to get bunnies to bond? I'd say spread out a blanket, light some candles and put out a piece of carrot cake for them to share. I guarantee that will do it!

wonderful to see you all here. Mary I know the feeling, this is a great tradition posting here.

be well friends

[Determinator]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

Cindi, xxxxxxxx very glad you're here hon. please don't hate yourself hon. Love will see you through.

[dill]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is with extreme embarrassment, self-loathing and depression that I admit to everyone here that I am once again on day 2.

But I had to be honest. Otherwise, why be here?

I am in the same boat. Day 1 today.

[chrysa]

AF daily Saturday 9 May

I truly appreciate & admire your honesty Cindi