AF Daily Monday 11 May

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning all and I hope everyone celebrating Mother's day enjoyed it.

Over here Mothers day is in March, normally a few days after St Patrick's day, which is the anniversary of Mum's death. I've normally done my grieving before the Sunday so that it is not so bad. Father's day is a different matter and I still spend the day awash with self pity. You would think after 8 years I'd be getting used to the idea.

I have had the oddest weekend with my emotions all over the place. I keep catching myself sobbing for no reason.. This time I have been sober for less than three weeks and I seem to remember that this and the tiredness are just early day stages and I just have to live through them. My head is in a good place it is just evrything else about me that needs to run and catch up.

Cindi and Dill, thinking of you.

Well now to get up and start another week. Hope it's a good one for all to follow

[rustop61]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

Hi Loppy and all to come

Hope the rest of you soon catches up Loppy. Getting the head in the right place is the most important thing. I find that's what I need to get me kick started on some serious AF time.

Cindy, Dill, Narilly and anyone else struggling sending you all good vibes. It's a beautiful morning here with the sun shining. Have just had my walk in the woods with doggies and friend. It's a lovely way to start the day. Off now to do some gardening.

Have a great week everyone.

Rustop

[Pamina]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

Morning Loppy, Rustop and all of abland

Ah, a walk in the woods sounds lovely. Glorious morning though a bit nippy. I need to plan meals before heading into town.

I sympathise with the emoting, Loppy, as I continue to do lots of it. In fact, my recovery is really mostly about emotional recovery. It was the accumulation of old crap topped up by my mum's death which led to a slow constriction of my life and AL abuse. The drinking was just the tip of an iceberg. The rest still needs unravelling and it's slow going. It may not be visible to the rest of the world, but I rejoice every time I manage NOT to overreact to stuff that used to throw me off kilter. Maybe you can reassess your needs after a few months AF. If the emotional rollercoaster is still in overdrive, it may require some taming.

Have a good AF week everybody!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

Good morning everyone! Loppy thanks for getting us started today. I'm sorry that you are feeling a bit on emotion overdrive. Is it possible that maybe it's good to get some of this out? Especially when drinking I really didn't handle my emotions in a healthy way at all. While drunk I would "spew" emotions high, low and everywhere inappropriately, and when sober would bottle everything up with no release. So lots of that has still been waiting for me to do something healthier with it!

rustop I'm liking the sound of your day! And a walk in the woods already. Wanna trade places today????? (say no...that was a trick question!)

Hi Pamina. I know you have shared over time some of the resources like books and stuff that you have found helpful in dealing with parental loss. When you have a bit of time would you mind summarizing some of that? (books, web sites, anything you found especially helpful) Spending the day with my Mom & Dad yesterday drove home once again that he is slowly and continuously sliding down the hill and it's never going to really get "better." I realized I need to do more work on this issue as a daughter so I can best support him and also my Mom through his last years - however many more he has left.

Narilly are you OK out there? I'm not sure if you drank or are just fighting urges or what but it doesn't help to stay away. Please come talk about it.

Dill how did target practice go? FOID card must just be an IL thing? It's my state Firearm Owners Identification Card. Look out world here I come.

Sweaty B, I haven't a clue what crispy duck pancakes are but they sound good especially if the Mr. is serving!

Marshy, that bike thingy really is cool with the video. I did a "campus tour" easy ride yesterday. The only thing that would make it more fun would be the ability to run over people for points. Maybe I'll send in that suggestion? Oh wait. I'm sure many others have already suggested it. Maybe a button on the handle bars could be added allowing one to bitch slap another biker when passing. That would be a nice way to blow off steam after a stressful day. Way better than al. JUST KIDDING!!! Now nobody will want to go bike riding with me ever. Especially since I also have a FOID card. :H

Deter I love that Vitamix and you could absolutely add some protein powder and fax seed meal or whatever other healthy additions you like and make it into a shake. That is one awesome machine.

Good to see you Mom of 3!

Cindi, keep us posted on DD's and baby's progress OK?

TG, it's nice to see you. I think part of the challenge with AL is that if we are even borderline problem drinkers is that when the going gets tough, we want to abuse AL rather than deal more appropriately with our problems in life. I applaud you once again for recognizing this possible problem early in your life, and exploring potential solutions. You will be so much better off by figuring all of this out now. Alcohol = sugar once it's in our bodies and sugar is known to cause flare ups of a number of skin problems. Good for you noticing that connection too!

Mother's Day was mainly nice. It's very sad to see my Dad continue to deteriorate health wise. It's sort of funny - my Mom is healthy as a horse except for some hearing loss. Dad has problems with many body parts but his ears and brain work just fine. So she is always trying to tell me something "secret" usually having to do with Dad and she talks really loud as people with hearing issues often do. And Dad hears everything and gets irritated. It's sort of funny. Mom brought TONS and TONS of plants that she thinned from her house. I've got enough hostas out there to landscape a small town. And coral bells and some lillies and some other thing I can't recall the name, but it flowers in the fall. So I've got my work cut out for me this week. She was rarin' to go in the late afternoon and get planting. I'm such an early morning person I really needed to start winding down! Found myself getting grumpy in an irrational sort of way. Things are better today though. I think I just needed a little quiet time. In the old days I would have of course been some degree of drunk all day long and then gotten REALLY drunk as I was ready for it to be over. It is wonderful to be in a far far better mental place these days. Amazing how AL tricks us into thinking that he can somehow ease our stress or pain or whatever. That just is NOT the way it works out.

Anyway, need to get off of here and take care of the doggy morning pee and then hit the road for University of Chicago. I hate the idea of radioactive stuff going into my body but if that gives the surgeon the best picture of the tumor then so be it. I'm told to expect a long and boring day so I have plenty of reading materials packed and ready.

Later everyone! Have a great AF day. And for those who are struggling today, please keep coming here and reading and posting. Do whatever you have to do to NOT take the first drink. That's all you have to worry about is that first one.

DG

[hiddengoal]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

Good Morning ALFreedom Riders!

It just makes sense about the emotions bubbling up, as they have been avoided for so long. Loppy, this is my experience too - at 27 days AF, I have been 'feeling' lots I have avoided and when tears come up, they seems to ooze for a bit. It will take awhile to sort. I am just trying to 'feel' whatever emotion shows up. I have only done 45 Af days before, so as the 30 day is approaching, I am thinking longer will only clear more. I am beginning to plan on 'the next 30'. It can only be good, right?

People on here, and my hubby (he finally noticed I wasn't drinking wine - after I asked if he noticed....) have asked me what my "plan" is and I just have not had a plan - I just said I was doing 30 days - that's all I knew. Yesterday, I had a clear moment, and idea for 'a plan'. I said to myself, "My plan is to find JOY". I don't know how much muck I will wade through to find it, but I know what I want.

So, onto THIS day, I hope it brings sunshine, insight, and laughter to everyone here.

[retteacher]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

I too (of course) drank to drown out the emotions, conflict, whatever. Now, they have to be dealt with. It isn't easy, especially when we're not used to doing it. Yesterday, I had a conflict w/my husb. I managed not to blow it up out of proportion or (on the other end of the scale) sweep it under the rug. Instead, we dealt w/it & will continue to deal w/it. It's not going away. Sobriety lets me see that conflicts don't "go away" when we drink. Mary

[greeneyes]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

Morning abbers!

Had a great week at the beach! Now I've got a lot of mail, chores and all. I had a drinking dream last night in which I was at a LAVISH cocktail / sit-down dinner party at some mansion. Evening gown kind of thing. That in itself is amusing for someone who hasn't worn panty hose in years. So in the dream I had a glass (one) of wine and told myself that would be it. I then went to the bar to sneak a vodka. I didn't get one but that in itself is very telling of my big fear of what would happen if I tried to mod.

I read in a book about life planning before birth (souls plan the challanges to face as opportunities for growth) that those who agree to face an addiction problem in that lifetime are very courageous souls.

Hope everyone is well, time is spread thin so can't catch-up now. Have a geat day!

[LVT25]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

It's a Boy!



He did it! Hubby bought us a puppy for mother's day! They had 1 left. They are 3 weeks old and of course everyone else gets to choose before us, but we know we are getting a male.
It is a yellow lab-so hopefully will be a hunting dog also. I still have issues spending money on a dog, rather than rescuing one, but this is how it is this time. She had 10 puppies and although it was an unplanned pregnancy--they are still purebred with excellent bloodlines. I have never had a house dog in my life, but I think this one might spend some time inside. I am also anxious to take him for walks with me.



I will post more pictures when we have official ownership--I hope I don't regret this!

What a busy weekend social wise! Saturday a friend of ours graduated from nursing school, then her mom (one of my good friends) had a little reception. I really felt bad for her because she and her husband are divorced, and he had planned a big "fun" reception later at him home--so she was pretty much left out. I imagine she spend the evening drowning her sorrows. Her birthday is Wednesday, so I hope to spend some time with her then. After some shopping the boys and I went home to get dad to go to the party. I was of course already tired and not really in the mood. I managed to be a good sport I think, and the boys and I managed to drag his drunken butt home around midnight. It was my first real party sober.....pretty interesting. Did you know girls don't get any prettier the more they drink???? And peoples eyes start to squint? And they slur their words and cuss alot more? I was a tad uncomfortable with the boys there--they've known these people forever, but not really a great environment for them as it got later.
Up for Sunday school early and the boys gave me their gifts and hubby gave me a card--took it out of the sack-unsigned-not even in the envelope. A little tacky and insensitive I thought-but oh well, they can use them next year. Had to convince the boys to sit with me at church and that hurt my feelings a little--after all it was Mother's day! During the first hymn I start bawling. My emotions were feeling a little raw--Mother's day has been so hard for me since my own mom died--I just can't seem to help it! Plus, I started my progesterone cream last week, I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it or not. Anyway, after church we see the puppies which puts me in a better mood--then out to eat, which was ok except the boys ....well, they're boys. Then to high school graduation and rush around to all the receptions to get son to baseball practice 15 miles away--which apparently they had cancelled since it had rained. It made me mad, because we had to do all the rushing around to get there in time. But I guess he didn't have our cell phone numbers--and we weren't home to get the message.
I was so happy to get home to my comfy couch!
Today I need to face the music about the garage at work--and the guys that fixed it for me own the business I do books for--so some teasing to come I'm sure!:H
I'm really sorry, for the long post--I guess I had something to share today. I hope to get in my garden this week for sure!!! Have a great day all! :h Attached files [img]/converted_files/894270=4938-attachment.jpg[/img] [img]/converted_files/894270=4939-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Determinator]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

Happy hangover-free Monday ABland!

Greeneyes I also get those kinds of dreams (minus the pantyhose mind you). I wake up feeling like I've let myself down, then realize it's just my crazy subconscious mind. in the words of Homer Simpson: d-oh! stupid brain.

DoggyGirl and Dill so glad to hear of your involvement in the discipline/sport of shooting! how fun. if you ever get to Reno you know who to call and we'll hit the range. It's one hobby you just simply DON"T drink with....an added bonus for me. I think I'll start a shooting thread under the sports section so as not to hijack the AF thread here.

Moms day was quiet and nice, our dear Moms are thousands of miles away so we at least spoke by phone. I'm experimenting with this Skype phone service over the internet and it actually works pretty good and is super cheapo per month for long distance.

keep up the good work and be well everyone and all to come

[Determinator]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

LVT, all I can say about those pic's is. aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww cute!

[ThatGirl]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

Just checking in on day 2 again, not a trace of the withdrawal nightmare that was first time round (thank god!). Anyway, not much to say except I have an exam tomorrow so wish me luck and LVT: those puppies are sooo cute!

Have a nice day everybody

TG

[dill]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

DG, My thoughts were with you today. I know medical tests are scary. I hope all went well! I wonder what 'reading material' you had with you? Have you ever read any of Jodi Picoult's novels? My favorite was 19 Minutes. Totally absorbing! Thanks for the explanation of FOID!

Loppy and Rusty, thanks for the support!

LVT, those puppies are so CUTE! I love yellow labs. My daughter has one.

deter, My target practice and gun handling went well. Mr. D complimented me on my handling and safety and also shooting. I never hit the 'bulls eye', but my shots were all closely aligned with each other and inches within the target. The hardest thing was the noise. We had on ear protection, but still...

[Determinator]

AF Daily Monday 11 May

Thatgirl, glad you are doing ok this time around with home detoxing.


Dill, well done! sounds like you need better hearing protection. there is some really good new safety gear on the market thankfully.