Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

[AAthlete]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Mary, my thoughts are with you and your husband - I hope you get good news.

Saw this today in the Daily Reflection's reading and it struck a chord with me so I thought I would share. It is an interesting take on the word humility:

Humility sounds so much like humiliation, but it really is the ability to look at myself -- and honestly accept what I find. I no longer need to be the "smartest" or "dumbest" or any other "est." Finally, it is okay to be me. It is easier for me to accept myself if I share my whole life. If I cannot share in meetings, then I had better have a sponsor -- someone with whom I can share those "certain facts" that could lead me back to a drunk, to death. I need to take all the Steps. I need the Fifth Step to learn true humility. Easier methods do not work.

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Mary, Hoping all is well with your hubby. Let us know.

AA, Loved the quote. Thank you. Humility is part of Acceptance, methinks. Hard for me to do. Still working on it.

Hope to hit a noon meeting today. It is my favorite.

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Hi Sheri. I can certainly relate to your concerns about anonymity and also the fear of walking into the "unknown" at a meeting. I'm not sure what you do for a living or how "small" your town is so only you can decide about that. I've not participated in AA on-line meetings. If they are anything like the in person meetings, I would imagine they should be quite civilized and follow a familiar meeting format. But..it's still cyberspace so can only HOPE the meetings stay as calm LOL!

I love the on-line forum here, especially after building acquaintances and friendships for almost two years now. One of the benefits I get from going to AA in person is that there is just nothing compareable, for me anyway, to the face to face, person to person, local support available there. There is structure to the AA program that all means something. The more I learn about it the more I respect it - it has worked for a lot of people over a lot of years. (but like anything else, is not for everyone!)

Please don't be afraid to call whatever phone number is available to you locally, and get a schedule of meetings. What I experienced was really overall positive when I first walked through the doors. Helping newcomers is such a huge part of the AA foundational principals that it's hard NOT to find someone I feel comfortable talking to.

If you are feeling like you should give it a try, I really hope you do. Anyone you see there is also wanting to keep their anonymity in addition to having an obligation to protect yours.

Strength to you and congratulations in your journey to a MUCH better life - wherever that path leads you.

DG

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Sheri A huge congratulations on 60 days!!! That is great! I really enjoy the meetings and ditto to everything DG has said. Everyone makes a real effort to welcome the newcomers. I have met some really great people in the room.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Good morning all! I was in and out so fast yesterday that I did not take time to thank you AA for sharing the story about your son. Boy...what a difference AF can make. But it's more than just not drinking. It's new thinking that helps SO much in this game we call life. I also enjoyed the part of the reading that you quoted from yesterday. The yellow highlighter came out yesterday and I'm pretty conservative with that in the Daily Reflections book!

Mary, how did the meeting go that you helped lead? I hope you enjoyed taking that kind of part in it all!

Cindi on humility - I was sitting next to a guy yesterday who has been very forthcoming about his true asshole nature, especially when actively drinking. He's one of those people that can be very abrasive with the truth - about himself and also in some of his observations of the world around him. Some people don't care for that - I find him interesting. On humility he said "if you don't find it, it will find you. And beat you."

We had a good topic come up in yesterdays meeting. "If you spot it, you got it." This topic was a reflection on how many times, what we notice in others is present in ourselves. This can be a reflection of positive or negative things. One girl gave an example from living in a rehab group home. She said there was one woman who she JUST could not get along with. They didn't think much of each other and butted heads a lot. What she came to realize is that the qualities she disliked in this other woman were qualities she herself was displaying. It was also noted how often this is true on the flip side. If we are observing positive things in others, that is often a reflection of those positive things in ourselves. The mind is an amazing place, isn't it? Every day the phrase "I don't have a drinking problem, I have a thinking problem" seems to take on more meaning.

Have a great day all!! Is it Friday again aleady??? Where has this week gone!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Sheri: I too tried very hard to hide my drinking. I really feel that's what kept it going for so long. I know now that there were still people close to me that knew. I was very scared to go to my first meeting. I still get the jitters about it. I knew though that I had to do it, or else my drinking would continue. I still have a lot of work ahead of me in terms of coming completely clean w/the truth about my drinking. For me, that's essential. I went to the aa website (Alcoholics Anonymous :) & found my meetings there. Once I went to my first meeting, I got a small directory of meetings that I still use to find meetings for each day of the week. I do live in a small area & have been here for over 29 years. I have seen people from the "outside" at meetings. I must admit that it's disconcerting, but I tell myself that I'm working toward a better way of life. If people know that I'm an alcoholic, so be it. We have a dear friend who is diabetic. No one condemns him, because diabetes is not considered a moral issue. I have a similar disease & must treat it in the most effective way I know how. I'm older (64) & have only this one life. I want to live it happy, healthy, & free. There's no way I can do that if I'm drinking. Good luck. Keep coming here & reading & sharing. You'll know what to do when the time is right for you. It took a humiliating incident to bring my alcoholism out into the open. That's when I knew I had to come out w/my problem & say: "I'm Mary & I am an alcoholic." The first time I said that in front of a group was an incredibly powerful moment.

The meeting went well last night. People are starting to notice me more & more (which is what my sponsor wants for me). We spoke about step 2 which instigated a discussion about higher power. The different points of view were very interesting. That's the unique thing about AA. There's room for everyone, regardless of what his/her beliefs are.

Take care everyone. Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

DG: I wrote those quotes down for my little notebook. Thank you so much. Love, Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

retteacher;614383 wrote:
The meeting went well last night. People are starting to notice me more & more (which is what my sponsor wants for me). We spoke about step 2 which instigated a discussion about higher power. The different points of view were very interesting. That's the unique thing about AA. There's room for everyone, regardless of what his/her beliefs are.

Take care everyone. Mary

Mary I'm so glad to hear it went well for you! You are very articulate and very thoughtful. I know you are honestly working the program. I'm sure what you have to say is very valuable to others and I'm so glad to hear that you are expressing yourself more in AA - I'm sure the local folks will benefit from your wisdom as all of us do here!

Since you brought up higher power.....

I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable with that subject when I first started attending meetings. I am getting much more at ease with the fact that my HP does not HAVE to be God. I'm not ruling that out, but I no longer feel so pressured to believe in a particular religious way. One guy who I run into in meetings often has a very long time in sobriety. I have absoultely no idea if he believes in God or not. (and it's none of my business!) What he always says about HP is "when I first came to AA, alcohol was my HP. Then I found the power of the program of AA and you group of drunks around the table." That is good enough for me. There truly is an amazing power over AL in the group of...OK - I know I'm a drunk!....around the table. We've all walked a mile in each other's shoes, that's for sure.

Today's meeting topic was resentments. That topic crops up a lot but it can't come up too often for me. I am struggling with a resentment right now that shouldn't even BE a resentment I don't think, but it nags at me and I can't seem to let it go. I'm still not sure what, if anything is the right thing to do. I didn't feel comfortable getting into the specific details at the meeting, but it was nice to describe the situation in a very general way and get some specific tips from the old timers (and some new timers!) on how they let resentments go. As always, the words of the serenity prayer are some big words!!

Have a great day everyone!

DG

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

DG,

So many times at meetings I have heard "I prayed for that person I hated because they did "blah" to me. I prayed that their lives were filled with goodness and graciousness.." or some such thing.

I finally realized, it means, let it go. Do not let it niggle at you or let yourself harbor awful thoughts. I recall these kinds of feelings when I was young and NOT drinking. Hmm. Maybe one of the reasons I turned to drink. Doesn't matter.

What I do know is that if I harbor angry throughts and resentments, they will turn me back to drink. I know that as well as I know the sun will come up tomorrow. If the sun doesn't come up, it doesn't matter anyway. So. What I am saying is resentments scare the beejesus out of me. Because they do drive me to drink. They are rooted in fear.

Fear makes us want to drink and numb.

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Cindi I think you hit a bullseye! Thank you for the reminder to look hard for some FEAR in there. I suspect you are right and yet I have no idea what it is I fear in this situation. But if it was completely obvious I probably would have already dealt with it, right? No wonder AL found fertile soil in my brain. One baffling thing begets another.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

DG: I've read that anger & resentment are a secondary emotions. Underneath is some kind of fear. Also, (when I'm working my program) I try to ask myself what my part in this resentment is. The AAers say we pretty much ALWAYS have a part. Did I not speak up when I should have? Was I judgemental? Did I do for someone what they should have done for him/herself? etc. Anyhow, that's what I've learned. I'd love to discuss this further, but I'm going on a girls' day w/some of my long-time friends. It'll be fun. No drinking of course. Mary

[Popeye]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Cinders;614663 wrote: DG,
I finally realized, it means, let it go. Do not let it niggle at you or let yourself harbor awful thoughts. I recall these kinds of feelings when I was young and NOT drinking. Hmm. Maybe one of the reasons I turned to drink. Doesn't matter.

What I do know is that if I harbor angry throughts and resentments, they will turn me back to drink. I know that as well as I know the sun will come up tomorrow. If the sun doesn't come up, it doesn't matter anyway. So. What I am saying is resentments scare the beejesus out of me. Because they do drive me to drink. They are rooted in fear.

I couldn't agree more Cinders.
I've come to see at last, that dwelling on these things doesn't change them.
People can think what they like, and they do whether I get all flustered about it or not; so I don't.

I'm going to a new meeting tonight.
I'm not struggling just now and things are going well regarding my sobriety. At last, I'm beginning to feel like a normal person again. The constant nagging that plagued my mind while I was drinking has gone. Is this normal? I haven't thought about drinking (except about not drinking) for ages. I'm using the hypno CDs and I give credit to that for a little for how I think about drink. I just don't want it. Not in an aggresive or obsessive way, but I simply don't want any. I feel that I should be struggling more than I am; that maybe I'm fooling myself but I don't think I am.
I'm grateful for everything that sobriety has given me back; not least my self-respect.
Self-worth is a different issue for me. For many years, I honestly couldn't have cared if I went to sleep and didn't wake up and there is still an sometimes element of that in my mind but I'm working on it. I'm very interested in the fears that have been mentioned. I haven't recognised any in myself but perhaps they are there for me too.

I really enjoy the shares on this thread.

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Thanks to you all for this great AA thread. I can't believe I'm writing that...but with some folk's encouragement here (you know who you are) I have been to 7 meetings in the past 10 days. I was out this week on a business trip and did three meetings and one six pack of beer. I wanted the trip to be AF but I slipped, yet it was a serious improvement over the past. Today I will be attending a new group's 9am meeting.
Life is pretty darn good.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Popeye: It's wonderful to see your progress. We can take our ups & downs sober now, instead of struggling w/issues AND drinking as well. Please continue to let us know how your meetings are going.

Phil: You're doing fine. Everyone gets there in his/her own way. The meetings are so helpful, aren't they? Last Fri. I went to a meeting where there was a very boisterous (probably drunk) person there. We all just shared on wo/batting an eye. I'm sure one of the old-timers afterward handled the situation w/gentleness & care. I always take something out of a meeting. As far as the 6 pack: I've slipped any number of times. I'm not proud of it, but it must be part of the process. I'm, in no way, out of the woods as far as possible relapse, but I know that if I keep up my membership at MWO & AA, I have a much better chance of staying AF. I so appreciate seeing you here at this thread.

I too NEVER thought I'd go to an AA meeting. I had some fantasy in my head that I'd just spontaneously stop drinking & no one would ever know my drinking history. I see now that it doesn't work that way. I had to come out into the open in order to heal from this. I also had to get some face-to-face support.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Phil I'm so glad to hear about your experiences and most importantly your positive progress. I always viewed AA as a "last resort" and an unappealing one at that. I'm so glad I went. One thing is for sure. If we just keep repeated what we have tried before that didn't work, we will keep getting the same results....

Popeye it sounds like you are doing some really great soul searching. I am running into my own internal brick walls these days which ends up leaving me a bit baffled. Sometimes I truly don't KNOW why I am the way I am. And I don't always know what is important for me to try to figure out v. what can/should just be left alone. If that makes any sense which it probably doesn't. At any rate, I am enjoying being in the company of folks to push me to think and consider new ideas about my human condition.

Mary I think we must have shopped at the same Fantasy Store.

I only have a few minutes before I leave for a regular meeting followed by a meeting with my sponsor. I'm really conflicted about whether I have the right sponsor or not. On one hand I want to make sure I'm not "running" from the prospect of facing up to truths within myself. On the other hand, I think I have some legitimate concerns. And I'm not sure where to go with it or what to do. I feel like I need some counsel on it but don't know who I should talk to. If any of you have any suggestions that would be awesome.

Thanks! Will try to get back on later today after GARDENING!! Me and Mr. Doggy are going to try to get all the hostas and other stuff that my Mom brought over from her "thinnings" last Sunday. I don't want this stuff to go to waste and it's only going to stay alive out of the ground for so long!

Have a good day all...

DG