Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

DG: I think you mentioned that your sponsor didn't have quite the level of experience that would benefit you as a newcomer. I know that mine has 16 yrs of sobriety & has sponsored many people. I needed to be told what to do. I needed assignments for each step. The steps are the foundation of the program & are meant to be done w/a sponsor...not on our own. I've certainly heard from speakers of changing sponsors. It's not easy, but you have to do what's right for you. I think that if you speak strictly in "I" statements (we're learning to do that through AA sharings) that you might come to an understanding. For instance:
-"I've been really wanting to work the steps but still don't know how to go about it."
-"I'm really needing some firm guidance, as I have a strong personality but can't run this myself."
-"I'm a very task-oriented person & need "assignments" for each step."
-etc.
Tailor your statements to your personality. I think it would be an absolute mistake to say:
-"I'm not sure if you have enough experience."
-"You haven't given me enough guidance."
-etc.

If she gets the message that you're serious about doing the steps, & she might not be up to it yet, she might be able to suggest another (harder-line) AAer to help. This isn't something you are doing frivolously. I can see that you thought long & hard about it. That said: you have to do what's right for you & your program.

As for me: I wish I had a woman sponsor & probably will get one after I have one go-round w/my current sponsor & friend of many years. It's not that I feel any kind of sexual tension between us. I just feel that I would be a little more open w/a woman. However, I feel that he was there when I desperately needed him. He's guiding me skillfully through the steps expeditiously. I know that I will be getting the necessary info off my chest in the 5th step. I didn't want to wait weeks or months to find a female sponsor. I felt I needed to start the steps right away in order to ensure my sobriety. I have the rest of my life to work the steps w/someone else. I can see that this is a life-long process.

Anyhow, I hope this was helpful to you & not heavy-handed. Let me know how it works out.

Mary

[Determinator]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

FEAR

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Encounter someone from the "outside" at an AA meeting??

Today I went to a speaker meeting after church. The speaker was a fellow church member. How crazy is that?
Oh well, got that situation out of the way.
Happy sober Sunday y'all.
Phil

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Mary, thank you very much for your words of wisdom. Excellent, excellent advice. The meeting went OK I think. I'm staying the course for now. The subject of fear came up in our discussion and I'm sort of like Popeye (I think that was you Pops!) who said he might have fears he isn't aware of. I'm looking forward to the discovery process.

Phil - I think "well, that's out of the way now..." is a good way to look at it. In the First Step study guide there is mention that 12% of the population are alcoholics. (and then it goes on to say how the liver and pancreas operate differently in alcoholics v. normal drinkers...very interesting) If that is even close to being accurate, there are a lot of suffering people all around us. I guess when we see someone we know, one way to look at it is to be very glad that person is getting the help they need, and is in an environment where they can be open about their problem. Have to keep drinking secrets really sucks.

Deter - thanks for the FEAR reminder!

Mary I think you were wise to work with an experienced person to get going. One thing I've noticed is that the people who have sponsored a lot of folks seem to have somewhat of a formula that they will rattle off for each step. I would welcome more of that, but I'm thinking there is a reason for me to be where I am so I'll go with it.

Have a great day all!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Phil: I too have seen people from the "outside" at meetings. It's definitely a little disconcerting. But, like DG, I think that your idea of getting it out of the way is a great way to look at it. Mary

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

I have run into a few people from the "outside" but, they are all there for the same reason.

I am meeting with my sponsor before I go to the 8:30pm meeting tonight. She had me do some assignments that we are going to go over. She is 7 years sober and is very active in AA and runs a Step series. We are still getting to know eachother though. I told one of my best friends / drinking buddy yesterday that I was in AA. She was upset and kind of pissed at me. Mind you she was drinking champagne at the time. Anyway it was not easy and she had me thinking along the path that I am not an alcoholic. I was glad to leave her house and i immediately called my friend who is in the program and I came back to my senses. This has been a rough weekend with the break in at my house ect. I went to 2 mtgs Fri, 1 on Sat and 1 tonight just to keep me on track.

[Rusty-576]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Hi thread, I do not know if this is the right place for me but Caysea has told me about this. I have never been to a AA meeting because this town I live in is so small. I feel comfortable at this site and now maybe it is time for me to find out why I drank in the first place. I will have been sober for almost a year now and think that there is a few ideas that will help me move from where I am. Maybe this is the wrong way of doing things, but any takers in holding my hand to find out where I need to go next. thanks for reading and maybe this is a new beginning now for me too!!

[Popeye]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

Sorry to hear about the break-in PP. So stressful.
I have met a few people from 'outside', some of whom I know well. Sometimes it comes as a surprise and sometimes it doesn't. The main thing is that I'm always glad to see that they're addressing their problem.
I went to a Meeting last night but I went to the wrong hall. they moved it a few weeks ago, but that's OK. I've got one this evening. I'm going to ask about getting a sponsor; take the leap.

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

read between the lines

CS04;612037 wrote: Mary, I have attended meetings but not fully embraced the AA approach, and not sure if I will. But I am going, maybe once a week, just because. I do not understand at all about how to "work the steps" -- it just seems foreign to me. Maybe because I cannot even begin to get to step one. I feel kinda lost. Can you shed some light on this process?

hi teach and the rest of you fine folks,cso4 ,the steps are what they say they are 1 at a time,cs you mt never get off the 1st one,it is the hardest of all,that is why bill and bob made it 2 steps,admitting you have the problem,and the 2nd part is how your friend AL started to unmanage your life,i havent been around for a while,like here,we can over DO, most things , in an addictive persons life,we over do, i hope that helps all, but cs,not all get the AA way,it has been the only way for years,,my wife bought me a book ,the other weekend,cause she cares, HEALING THE ADDICTED BRAIN,Harold C Urschel MD it mite interest you folks, gyco

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

nice

AAthlete;612419 wrote: "Stop worrying. The bridges you cross before you come to them are almost always over rivers that aren't there." --Unknown--

Spent some time inside my head yesterday thinking about past harms that I have done. Got me down for a little bit , but I kept trying to turn it over and I think I eventually reached a point of at least neutrality! Should've called my sponsor but that is something I'll work on...

Saw this quote this morning and it reminded me that just as I can't obsess about the past, I can't focus on the future, either. I need to live each day and let everything else fall where it may. After all, I can't change the past any more then I can control the future, right? This big old planet will still keep spinning round and round....

thnnx for that AA,i, like you have found the same path,if i worry of yesterdays doings,or tomorrows happenigs,i can do nothing but confuse myself,then my mind is to full,i have but today to fulfill, thnx again

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

pops

Popeye;613087 wrote: Hi Guys,

today.
When I had my last drink, 4 months sober seemed a lifetime away. Well I've managed that and I'm happy to be sober today.

hi pops the words say it all,1day,10,000 days,we have to all live in 24 hours congrats pops gyco

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

just cont, on my mary way, hahaha get it , great to have this thread eye opener for some that are new here gyco and thats not me hahaha

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

wondering

[QUOTE=Doggygirl;613249]
Todays meeting was really awesome sharing. This 7AM group is really awesome. Our topic today was about the perceived "easier, softer way" of avoiding things, v. the TRUE "easier softer way" of just facing things head on and dealing with them - whether that's an AA step (the reference in the Daily Reflections was to step 5) or whether it's the the stuff of life such as dealing with a bill we cannot pay. (i.e. avoiding dealing with it at all v. calling the creditor to fess up and try to work something out...) As a drinker,interesting analagy,dog lady,are they the same,drinking and bills,i guess my alchoholism never took me that far,but then again,i wasnt in this alone,my wife ,was,and still is here today,back in my mind i wonder if,in all her wisdom,when she said one of us will do finances [handle the money] and one of us will handle the insurance,house car ect, ? me , she handled the coin and bills,and theyve always been paid.good one Doggy gyco

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 11 - May 17

ok all come to the end of the line . i thot id ravel thro all of this . it is nice to be back, read most of the AA thoughts,i am happy for you all that it works,as far as running into people you happen to no there , there for the same reason,i beleive my AA days are on the shelf for a while till i figure this out,remember ,in Aa and in the outside life there will be opsticles,the people that created the the program were no different from you or eye,just born in a different era,is it so hard to say No,next time you want to take a drink,think of a child,if they were gonna walk into heavy traffic,over,over and over again,is that not wht AL does to your brain,make you into a little child,have a wonderful day gyco never stop trying