AF daily Tuesday 12 May

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning Abland.

Puppies aaaaahhhhhhhh.

Getting withdrawal symptons. The Buns have been at the centre now for 3 nights. Am dying for news but don't want to be a nuisance.

TG good luck for the exam my fingers are crossed.

Emotions still all over the place but this time a little proud of myself. Had another double glazing salesman in. I think I handled it well. Made it clear from the start that one of his competitors was out of the running because of the hard sell tactics. So when the heavy pressure to sign, started at the end of the evening I stood my ground, said I was not making a descision until Saturday and he respected that. Well eventually.

I hope the next bit comes out the way I mean it but if it doesn't please no one take offense. When Mum fell ill she was at stage 4 ovarian cancer, so it was always going to be terminal. I went to some berevement counselling relating to cancer while she was still alive. (obviously didn't tell her). It made it easier for me to deal with her passing but the main benefit was that until the last month or so whenever I opened my mouth in her company the right thing came out. Which if you knew our relationship was a novelty. I had been given an insight into how she might see things... from her point of view I got it.... It was about her not me. I had enough knowledge to let her be herself.

I know a number of people are struggling with sick parents and wanted to share what was a great comfort to me. Actually it still is.

I also put on a couple of stone comfort eating and was only sober when I was at work or around Mum, but I don't recommend that as a course of action.

Hope everyone has a good day.

[Sweaty Betty]

AF daily Tuesday 12 May

Hi Loppy,

What you wrote about your Mum did come out right! I have a difficultrelationship with mine, and I'm off home tomorrow, and determined to be firm but fair.....

I'm really getting into my exercise and it helps so much - I ran 5k on the treadmill today - a MAJOR achievement for me.

To be honest, I'm not giving AL the same amount of headspace as I did. I fill in my drinktracker, and only post here when I know I'm going to be AF(I hope that's ok?). I suppose I'm moderating, but when I label myself as 'moderating' I always 'overdo' it. Each to their own, and I'm happy where I am.

What will be interesting will be my trip back to the UK. There will be a fair amount of AL on offer, but what had definitely changed for me is that I no longer think about when my next opportunity to drink will be.

Happy Tuesday

Bx

[greeneyes]

AF daily Tuesday 12 May

Morning abbers!

Beautiful sunrise this AM! A benefit of getting up to the cat puking. :H

Busy day at the hole today. Nice and cool so I can get out the electric yard tools and have at the tundra. Oh boy!

I had a good realtionship with my mom. I didn't know how to deal with her dying so unfortunately I drank through it. She always worried about my drinking and she was right. I know she's proud of me now though.

OK, off to the hole. I got it sorted out yesterday. What an ordeal after being gone! The man does not do paperwork.

[rustop61]

AF daily Tuesday 12 May

Hi Loppy and all to come

Thanks for sharing that Loppy. I lost both parents while relatively young. I was 17 when my mother died and 37 when my Dad passed away. So I have not had to deal with aged parents. My MIL died last year and they had a nightmare year with her (she was difficult to deal with to begin) so I have some idea what some of you are going through.

Doggie, hope all went well at the hospital. Trying time for you but can you imagine how much worse it would be with Al in the equation.

LVT aaaahhhhh..... I want to steal your puppy. We have a goldie who is 6. Lots of work but a sweetheart. It's thanks to my doggies that I get a 3 mile walk every morning.

Greenie, good to see you back. Glad you enjoyed the beach.

That Girl - Good luck in your exam.

Everyone else big hello.

Rustop

[retteacher]

AF daily Tuesday 12 May

Hi Everyone: I can just pop in quickly. I hope all is well. I'll be back later. Mary

[hiddengoal]

AF daily Tuesday 12 May

Good morning AFreedom Riders -

Gotta move fast this morning.....but wanted to check in. Phew!, it takes a lot of work doing life AF, it really was easier just having a glass of wine, BUT I know it will get better. All this thinking, all this feeling, about things that I felt I had to ignore. I am tired from it all and no energy to 'do' all the things we do. Tasks like laundry, cooking, sorting, seem too much right now. But I am told this will pass - I am feeling the depression I was self-medicating with AL. I don't want meds...I am just going to feel all this, go through it. Now, if I don't come through to the other side of this, I may reconsider - haha. But just now I want to let myself feel it all so I can identify the issues.

OK, enough of my self-reflection....but I am sure there may be others out there newly AF facing the same type of things.

Day 28

[Pamina]

AF daily Tuesday 12 May

Good day abbers

It's cool, wet and overcast here. A perfect day for home chores but perhaps a bit of a culture shock when you step off that plane, Sweats. AL may beckon in a once familiar environment but good on you for not listening.

I'm very impressed with the continued assertiveness training, Loppy. That would be hard for me too.

Your exam must be well under way, TG, but go get'em.

The goals sound great, HG. Here's to another 30!

DG, hope all went well with your test yesterday.

On the elderly parents issue, there's a lot to say. Didn't we have a thread going on that once upon a time? Sorry you lost your parents so young, Rustop! I still don't feel ready at 40+. I initially had a similar experience to Loppy's when my mum was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer and I sought counselling which was very helpful. Looking back on it I feel I was on the right path at the time, I just didn't stay on it for long enough. The comfort eating and drinking sounds familiar too - needless to say, far less useful.

After this second round of parental loss, I'd say 1. stay sober 2. get support (from other people in the same boat, there are lots of associations around different illnesses) 3. do as much growing up as you can while they're around (AA sounds like a good place for that) 4. do what you can to reduce your own reactivity so you can be present for them.

Bereavement is its own thing. I'll have a think on it and PM you DG, or maybe start another thread in holistic healing. I don't want to 'morbidify' the daily abs too much...

Lets look for the positive and be grateful for it. Happy Tuesday!

[LVT25]

AF daily Tuesday 12 May

Good morning friends!

I have help at the cemetery--so I'm taking today and tomorrow off to do some badly needed chores around the house. The weather is gorgeous and I wish I could get out in my garden, but unfortunately have to wait for hubby to get done with the equipment I need to use.

I hope everyone is doing well. DG--I hope you don't glow in the dark now! I remember when I got sick during my first pregnancy I had a nuclear scan. Talk about scary! You mean I can't drink a beer or smoke a cigarette because it might harm the fetus--but you can put radioactive ions into my veins and it is ok?????

Cindi--stay with us woman! Do you have a new grandchild yet?

I really wish I could mention everyone--I think of you all, but my memory is really bad. (I'm trying to use the words really bad instead of "sucks" these days.) To those of you with aging/ailing parents, or if they've passed on, I can relate. I watched both my mom, then dad....and I miss them terribly. My drinking definately increased throughout all of it. but I think they would be proud of me now.

Ok, I gotta get busy!! I'm so excited to get a day at home!

Still trying to think of puppy names.......any help welcome!

Have a great one all! :h

[Cinders]

AF daily Tuesday 12 May

Hi all. Checking in.

Staying sober. :-)

Still reading a lot but typing is difficult. Just know I am here and glad to be here.

Love,
Cindi

[dill]

AF daily Tuesday 12 May

Just a quick check in for me, too! I have lots to do tonight and am running out of time to get it done! Hope all are well in ab-land! Clear sailing here.

[Determinator]

AF daily Tuesday 12 May

Happy late check-iin from Mr Garlic breath!

finally into a hotel room for the night. whew! big day. on the road for 8+ hours. I'm up in the north CA wine country. must have passed 25 signs inviting me to come in for tasting. Just drove by and found the idea quite absurd. sure is gorgeous countryside up this way though. the Russian river and mountain views. ahhhh.

not had to deal with the death of a family member yet....not looking forward to it either.

well, off to see who's in chat

be well everyone