AF Daily Wednesday 13 May

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning all,

Hope everyone is in a positive state of mind.

Have to confess I told a big fat lie last night. I was at dinner with a good friend who has been very supportive but did not know about my lapse. As I sipped water she mentioned that it had been over a year since I stopped drinking and hadn't it past quickly. I didn't correct her and even talked a bit about my sobriety and then we moved on to other things.

I don't want my being a drunk to be a big issue in other peoples lives any more. I don't want them to have to worry about me. Wondering whether they'll have to take me to A&E or if I'll smoke out the house again or I'll just be a right royal pain in the arse.

I guess it is a fine line between being able to reach out to your friends for the help when you need it and not wanting to burden them so shutting all your emotions up inside until you explode. Think this is something I need to work on.

Sounds like loads of people had eventful days yesterday, how did everyone get on? Amazing isn't it how you can care so much about people you've never met.

Take care

[voguefit]

AF Daily Wednesday 13 May

Hi Loppy

I sooooo know where you're coming from, iwas sober for 6 yrs in AA and have not told any of them about my 4yrs relapse, i expect they have there suspisions, but fortunately for me i haven't pressed the detonator and done anything major in that time ie drink driving, A&E etc.... but i know that is all a big fat "YET". Just do the right thing and stay AF, i also know what you mean about the people on this site they are all great friends its like having a big warm blanket put round you. How long were you AF for before your relapse?
Have a great day everyone!!!!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Wednesday 13 May

Good morning everyone! It's a rainy Wednesday here and I'm secretly (here on the world wide web lol!) glad for that as I will not feel pressure to be out there in the garden or planting those million plants my Mom brought here on Sunday! A little break from planting stuff is a welcome thing right now.

Interesting topics today. On the one hand, absolutely everything about my life is not everyone else's business. However I feel I walk a very fine line when it comes to my alcoholic drinking behavior. Lying in all it's forms (telling false stuff, witholding the truth, lying to myself in addition to others, etc) was a huge part of the sickness. I feel as though I cannot be healthy in recovery without a very good handle on my honesty. This is a good topic for me to ponder - where would I feel the need to be completely forthcoming with the truth if I were to relapse? For some reason, the notion is coming to my noggin that the more people were affected by my drinking created problems, the more deserving they are to know the truth, for better or worse, about my current situation.

I'm not so sure that out and out lying is in my game plan either. Some people may be so distant from the personal side of my life that they just don't need to know things. But the people who are closely involved in my recovery and were involved in the problems I created - yes, they deserve to know. AND - part of what ate me up inside as a drunk was all the lying and covering up, etc. etc. I can't feel good inside I don't think, if I continue on in that manner.

Anyway, good topic to consider. And another good reason not to relapse. I HATE the thought of having to fess up to you guys here, to my husband, to my family, to my AA group. Ugh... Another reason a drink is not worth it.

Have a great AF day all..

DG

[greeneyes]

AF Daily Wednesday 13 May

Morning abbers!

Hello loopy and vogue! Loopy I wouldn't worry too much about it. Dinner out may not be the comfort zone in which to share something like that. If you want, you can always do that later with a "I didn't want to go into it at the time....". If you want.

It's been a little cooler here and I sure love sleeping with the window open and waking at dawn to a symphony of birds! Really starts the day right. I wonder if they make an alarm clock that replicates that? If you have a hard time waking up, they could make one with a cat puking sound. :H

I have a few plants to pot before I take off for the day. I finally got some lemon verbena for my iced tea. Love that stuff!

Hi DG! Cross posted!

Have a great day!

[hiddengoal]

AF Daily Wednesday 13 May

Mornin' AFreedom Riders -

Wow - facing the truth, telling the truth, letting the truth be.......big things to ponder so early in the morning. I believe we know the truth when it shows up and that down deep it feels right, no matter how hard or shameful - it is a relief.

There was a good convo in chat last night about how going AF effects partners, marriages, and how the dynamics change. I was thinking it might be a good thread to start, but thought I'd ask if anyone knows if there is already one started somewhere.

Many have said these relationships are 'triggers', or 'reasons' for the avoidance behavior of drinking. My hubby said last night that 'its scary' with me AF because I used to just go away and have a glass of wine when things heated up or I didn't want to feel sad about our relationship. Now, he knows I am going to deal with it, which might be harder for him. Interesting, but not surprising. It actually gives me hope.

Have a great day, everyone.

[retteacher]

AF Daily Wednesday 13 May

I agree that rigorous honesty is best & keeps me from drinking. However, everyone doesn't have to know everything. I think the key people need to know the facts. I lived a lie for so long that a big part of my recovery is coming out in the open. Maybe I will open up to most people in my life, but it will be when the time is right for me. In the meantime, I'm working on being open w/my husb, my son, & my AA sponsor. That's enought of a challenge. Mary

[LVT25]

AF Daily Wednesday 13 May

Good morning friends!

Loppy, whenever I mention not drinking or that I quit to my friends, I usually just get kind of a blank stare......sometimes I continue on to say I really needed to quit and tell them just how much I was drinking, or things that had happened. I guess it is so acceptable where I live--or no one really cares--or they are thinking if she needs to quit maybe I do too. I was talking to a friend the other night at the party--he quit drinking 15 years ago--I can't believe it has been that long. I pointed out to his wife (also my friend) that she was never the hard core drinker that I was--even though at times it seemed she wanted to. As I look at my friends now, I can see the "normal" drinkers that can control it and the ones that have a problem--like me. Those are the ones that tend to avoid me or are uncomfortable around me now. Hubby I can't really understand. We have had a couple of conversations since I got sober about being honest--and drinking simply out of habit. He cannot seem to do any of his "after work-work" with out a 12 pack. And--I don't really understand why that bothers me so much. One of these days, I'm kidnapping him and we are going to try to have a conversation!

It felt so good to do some cleaning and catching up around the house yesterday. Today will be busy with meeting, bible study, yoga and work. Then take son to do a job after school. But I get to stay home this evening! YAY and enjoy my clean living room. Still have a lot more to do here, but maybe this weekend I can start on my garden!

Have a great day all! :h

[com1]

AF Daily Wednesday 13 May

Hello all,

Everything is well in my world now. A few problems to be solved but nothing overwhelming.

Day 14 AF for me and feeling good although still not sleeping so well. But it will pass I am sure. On day 4, a drinking buddy was talking about his future bar on his future patio and how he would have a fridge full of beer at all times. I told him I was on the wagon as it was getting out of control. He said nothing.

Two days ago, he was talking about it again, and I said I don't drink beer anymore as I was on the "wagon". He asked "Well what do you drink, then?". I said "nothing" and he said he commended me. However, I think there was a bit of sadness in his voice. But so be it. Anybody that cannot understand my desire to not drink may be a "past" friend.

Y'all have a great day as I know I will.

com1

[Determinator]

AF Daily Wednesday 13 May

Top of the morning ABeroooos!

wow, I'm going to need to find a starbucks soon, this hotel room coffee is yicky, and my caffeine levels are a bit low for such a deep thread this morning. The honesty issue is a big subject in recovery circles and for good reason....it's tough! the first step in my recovery was being honest with myself. That was the hardest.

ok, off to find starbucks

be well everyone

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily Wednesday 13 May

Evening all

Quick check in from me - nothing profound to say, except hi, still sober, feeling quite positive today - hope all is well with you all - will drop by again tomorrow

Sausage xx