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**Loppy lugs** · May 23, 2009, 11:35 AM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

Afternoon,

DT enjoy the gym.

I have taken on board what you said yesterday about my friends. You are right .

Today I am really playing with fire. I am going to a big function, with among other people the chap who talked me into having a drink at the ball. The difference is I have been mentally practising.
"can I get you a proper drink?", "No thank you I don't want one"....
"I can't buy you a soft drink", "Don't worry then I'll get my own".....
"but you were always so much fun", "Just tell me if I'm boring you"......

And just to be absolutely sure I have taken one of my emergency antabuse. So I am now more concerned about falling off my new 5 inch heels than I am about drinking tonight. The thought of projectile vomiting is enough to put anyone off a drink. And for all their faults non of my friends would slip me a Mickey Finn.

Have a good day everyone

**greeneyes** · May 23, 2009, 11:39 AM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

OMG!! I missed and outing with friends!! Oh, no I didn't it IS Saturday! :H sounds like a lovely birthday weekend det!

General busyness with icky old chores but then out with friends for a bite to eat and to watch their son in a dance performance. I always enjoy those. I remember him being a little kid and now he's moving to LA soon - gee where does the time go?

Little doggie has to go to the barking lot on a regular basis. I find she is not properly socialized. She was nervous last night and was stabby with a little lab that wanted to play.

Loopy, sounds like a good plan. Can you leave early if you need to? I hope you have a delightful time.

**retteacher** · May 23, 2009, 12:58 PM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

Deter: The last time we went to our dinner club, there was much excellent wine & spirits flowing. The host was wonderful enought to get me my own personal bottles of Peregrino. So, while all the rest of the normal drinkers looked a little ragged by 11:00 or so, I was perfectly fine. It felt great. Mary

**speedster** · May 23, 2009, 01:30 PM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

Hello to an AF Saturday. Working hard in the yard and made a trip to the Farmers Market.

Still enjoying Emotional Alchemy. I need to read the book is spurts and then think/reflect/observe. Today out walking the dog, hubby will sometimes keep walking when the dog stops to sniff or potty. It's always annoyed me. I think it's a combo of abandonment & not feeling good enough to be waited for. It sounds totally silly to me now, but I think it's one of those 'schema combinations' that the book talks about. I've asked him why he walks ahead and it's because I'm a really fast walker and he knows I'll catch up. I have the advantage of tension in the dog leash and it propels me along. So I know it's not intentional but I felt that shot of emotion. That's what the book talks about as a 1st step of recognizing habitual emotions.

The other one that popped up a few minutes ago was resentment. I've been out working in the yard and came in to find hubby has fallen asleep. A shot of resentment. But the truth is he worked outside yesterday and will be doing a lot of physical work outside tomorrow. He'll be pleased with what I've done and I'm sure would rather not hear any whining. I told myself, I can nap too. I don't have to do all the chores today.

Addendum -- it worked! I was cleaning up yard tools and when I came in hubby was unloading the dishwasher. I told him what task I had conquered and he replied "well bless your heart." Just think of what a stinky mood I would have been in if I had walked in and said something resentful about him napping.....so glad I 'practiced calm'. No need for AL.

Mary - I think this ties into what we've discussed before about needing to be careful about wearing ouselves thin and then feeling like we 'deserve' a beer.

Everyone take good care of yourself today

**greeneyes** · May 23, 2009, 01:58 PM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

wow speedster. great post.

**ThatGirl** · May 23, 2009, 04:04 PM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

Hey guys, just a quick check in, will be 2 weeks AF tomorrow which is my original goal, but will probably go beyond that, ahve seen great improvements in my eczma which is mbasically my reason for doing this again. It's just one week til my appointment with a specialist and I cannot wait to get this sorted out, hopefully once and for all

Hope eveyrbody's enjoying their weekends

-TG

**Doggygirl** · May 23, 2009, 05:08 PM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

Hello everyone! Happy AF Saturday to all. Hope the weather is as nice for ALL (not AL) as it is here in IL for us today. For AL, I hope he's in a shit storm just as bad or worse than the shit storms he has caused for us. :b&d:

Deter thank you for getting us started today! Don't be in a hurry to get through the weekend! :H Sounds like you have a great one planned. What do your buddies do besides drink? It must be something fun otherwise it sounds like these parties would get boring for an AFer. At least I sure find events boring for the most part where lots of drinking is going on. More power to you for being able to carry on with your pals. I'm struggling with that - just the other day a friend challenged me that I had "dropped" her. I feel awful that she feels that way but I just can't hang out the way we used to. Guess that was a "nudge" to start figuring this out and tying up some loose ends one way or the other.

Loppy I'm liking the sound of all the phrases you've been practicing. I hope you have really nice time at this event.

Greenie the Dance sounds like a nice outing. What type of dance? Hope your friend's son Makes It Big in LA.

Mary, sounds like your friends know how to take care of you in style! I sure don't miss that "ragged feeling" at the end of a drinking evening. I don't know what wore me out more - the actual drinking, or the stressing over how to drink as much as I wanted without people realizing how much I was drinking and/or getting too drunk and trying to look / act less drunk. That was a LOT of work.

Speedster I LOVE your post. Projecting stuff forward like that is a HUGE thing that I have to watch out for. "staying in the now" rather than projecting stuff like "how dare he take a nap and expect me to do all this work blah blah blah...." He doesn't even think of stuff like that. But I like to work it up into a frenzy in my head. What a GREAT story with a happy ending at your house this time! (note to self to get that dang book from the library already!)

TG I'm glad to hear the eczema (sp) is better without AL. So many health related problems - especially skin problems - are tied to food issues / allergies. Sugar (which includes AL) and grains (which also includes AL in some cases) are two HUGE food categories that are problematic for many people. Will be interesting to see what the specialist says about it. In any case, good that it's gone. Congrats on 2 weeks AF!

I went to dog training for awhile today to watch Mr. Doggy. I totally support him in his hobby and it was nice to see some folks I havent' seen in awhile and also watch some dogs - they sure do improve over time! But I got bored pretty quick and just wanted to go to the gym. Never in my life did I see that one coming! :b&d: Now I'm done with a sauna and shower and about ready for a nap myself.

Hope everyone has fun whatever they are doing tonight / tomorrow - whatever time it is in your zone.

DG

DG

**Guitarista** · May 23, 2009, 06:11 PM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

Greetings all,
Interesting post Speedster. And Greenie, does your dog have barking issues? Dog's, young and old, can learn new tricks. Look at me!
DG. Interested to read you say a friend thinking you've 'dropped' her? I am acutely aware of that same thing happening with my close friends, most of which, socialising always revolves around al. So, while i couldn't hang out with them in the dicey early days of af, (still early day's here too, i know) i now make the effort not to be a stranger. They know i've given up the turp's, and are supportive, and cool etc, so i just implement the old, go, but i might have to leave early plan. This works for me, and them, as it maintains the connection, keeps me in the loop, so i'm no longer isolated like before, and i catch up with good friends, but just leave earlier than usual. Also, most good friends would be happy to catch up for a coffee or a bite to eat on 'neutral ground' wouldn't they?
I know this stuff is obvious, but just some thoughts..........

**Doggygirl** · May 23, 2009, 06:55 PM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

Guitarista, sadly when drinking is pretty much all we had in common, there isn't much to move forward with.... I do appreciate what you are saying though. It's not fun to start sorting through the realities of some of these relationships. When there is really nothing in common any more, it seems pointless to waste the tme at some stage... (sad but being brutally honest here today!)

DG

**Determinator** · May 23, 2009, 07:51 PM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

Speedster that's a marvelous post! I like your higher-consciousness outlook.

DG, most of the drinking folks I hang out with are Dx's friends (I'll blame it on the wife! LOL) most of my friends now (by my choice) are quite healthy and many hang out at the gym when not working. some even have the 'straight edge' tattoos. now that's hard core clean living!

**greeneyes** · May 23, 2009, 08:54 PM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

Guitarista.... LOL. No it's not barking issues. "The Barking Lot" is what the doggie park is called. Huge fenced in area where the doggies play off leash. Little doggie gets a little scared when doggies rush her. So I need to take here more regularly so she's comfortable.

**Guitarista** · May 24, 2009, 04:34 AM

AF Daily Sunday May 23

Ok, i see now Greenie! What great adventures we have with our little mates. Best wishes to you and your pup...........G.

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