AF Daily Monday 1 June

[Loppy lugs]

Morning all, and we have a beautiful one here.

Thanks everyone for your support it is much appreciated. Feeling quite nervous now since it is nearly a fortnight until my appointment but at least I have taken a step to change things.

My copy of emotional healing has now arrived. I have only had a chance to flick through it so far. I saw the line "if you stay with the anger for long enough" I immediately thought "no stuff it back down". I have a long way to go!

TG bad story about the Samaritans. I haven't heard about their email service but I think it must be hard to be empathic by email.

Hope everyone found a way to chill out over the weekend and reduce the stress levels. I find the animals help, except of course when they are sick which just adds to it. Fingers crossed for the puppy.

Running late so catch you all again later. Take care

[Pamina]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

Morning abland

It's great to see you right back, Loppy, hope you're feeling a bit better.

I've had a persistent pain in my shoulder which I've used as my latest excuse to avoid the gym. All this talk of eye candy makes me think I should finally get someone to sort out that shoulder...

I need to charge out into the sunshine. Have a good one everybody.

[AAthlete]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

Loppy, glad to hear that things are looking up for you, and it's only normal that you'd be nervous about your appointment - I would be too. But, you're moving forward and that is the important thing.

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
--Joseph Fort Newton

Say this a little bit ago and it struck a chord for me. I used to isolate soo much when I was drinking and block everyone out of my life. How ironic that I would then wallow in self-pity that no one understood me and that I had no friends. I'm still a work in progress (speaking of, I miss that gal) but I've gotten better at being optimistic about life and wanting to put things up instead of tearing them down all the time.

After all - look at this Abs Forum and how people share their thoughts and feelings. If this isn't a wonderful example of people building bridges then I don't know what is! Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday!

[Marshy]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

Morning all,

Pamina, this fabulous sunshine :rays::rays::rays: and talk of gym eye candy makes me think I need to replace my scratty old workout gear so I look a bit more presentable at the gym. Oh the pressures of summer :H

Have a good 'un everyone.

[dill]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

Good morning, Loppy, Pam, Marshy and AA! Thanks for getting the thread started, Loppy.

Feelings of isolation do go hand-in-hand with alc for me. I am an at-home-by-myself drinker and I had gotten myself to a point where I would much rather be by myself, drinking, than doing anything else. Sad. I am having a hard time adjusting to being sober, because I am in the habit of being secluded. When I am not at work, or some other place I have to be, then I prefer to be home. Being home and not drinking is a chanllenge, but I am up to it!

I wish everyone strength and peace.

[Cinders]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

Good Morning, all.

Beautiful morning here but the day is going to get hot.

Haven't much planned today so better find some things to do to keep busy. I might even go to the noon AA meeting.

Otherwise doing fine.

Boy, can I relate to the isolation. Drinking does isolate. You can't go out, you can't be with friends, you can't take care of family. You just sit and drink. Woo Whooo.

Glad I am working hard to get and stay off that merry-go-round!!

Love,
Cindi

[cacky]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

Loppy, great to see you posting. I saw you in chat the other night and really wanted to catch up. Sounds like you are doing ok?

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

Happy June Ablanders! May was really rough as far as business goes so I am very happy that month is over and a new month begins. This economic horse poop can't last forever, right? Onward and forward...

Loppy thanks for getting us started today. ITA that pets are great stress relievers.....most of the time. That qualifier needs to be there, at least around my house!!! (four dogs is sometimes a couple too many...)

Pamina, gym eye candy is as good a reason as any (well, fitness is good too ) to get that shoulder looked at! :b&d:

Marshy, a hottie hot hot babe like you does not need glammed up gym wear to be hot.

Cinders - stay cool today!

Dill & AA - very good topic that isolation business. The progression of my drinking went from it nearly always being in a social setting with other people, to it usually always starting in a social setting wtih other people, to me keeping up appearances by at least starting the drinking around other people - even if that was in a bar full of strangers, to totally drinking at home alone. I think AA has been really good for me starting to develop some face to face friendships that are outside of my business circle with folks I can be completely honest with. AA - I love that quote and we are certainly building bridges here too! Would love to meet all you guys in person someday - wouldn't that be da bomb.

I'm struggling with an issue right not - not sure how "isolation" related it is. There is an old friend of mine who lives several states away now. We got to know each other professionally, but were HUGE drinking partners. She admitted her alcoholism before I did but has gone on and off the wagon. She has reached out to me recently and feels hurt that I have lost touch. (and that HAS been on my end - she has tried, I have not responded) For whatever reason I just don't feel up to resurrecting that friendship and I'm not really sure why. I don't want her to sit out there feeling hurt but for some reason I'm not wanting to go there. Anyone else experience something like this with old friends? I'm not sure what to do. It's feeling like an obligation I don't much care for rather than an opportunity at the moment.

Gotta run - off to leads group then gym then AA then groceries. A busy day and hopefully a good one for all of us!! Hello to all yet to come.

DG

[AAthlete]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

DG, is that little inner voice of yours being rational?

It sounds to me that you are putting your sobriety first, because you honestly don't know where your friend is at right now in terms of drinking (but you sure as hell know where you've been - emphasis on hell). That inner voice is a smart cookie - listen to it, as you've done such an incredible job getting to where you are and nothing is as important as you staying sober right now. Just remember this - you do not have an obligation to still be friends and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You'll reach a point where you'll feel comfortable reaching out to her, but now is not the time. Just remember, sober inner voice good; drunk inner voice very, very bad! Easy choice, right?

Anyway, my $.02 and hope you have/had fun grocery shopping!

[Cinders]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

DG,

I agree wholeheartedly with AA's take on your reluctance to maintain the friendship.

Your sobriety is #1 and deep down I believe you are a bit concerned that she would be a big trigger for you right now.

Go easy on yourself, DG. You are a wonderful person and you deserve this wonderful sober life you have gained.

You will know when you can reach out to her, until then, don't.

Love,
Cindi

ps If she reaches out for help, that might be a bit different, but at that point you have your AA contacts to help you with how to deal with that.

[Determinator]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

Sleepy good morning ABeroooos!

up entirely too early for my tastes here for Pacific time. coffee not done yet. brain function minimal. Just wanted to check in as I may not get a chance for a while.

be well everyone

[momof3]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

Good Morning All,

And Happy June 1st. I love the summer and the warm weather.

DG, Regarding remaining in contact with your friend. I have been struggling with this issue for awhile with my brother. He has always been a very difficult person to be around. Both of my parents have passed on and he has no friends. I have spent alot of time trying to help him out yet he keeps digging himself further into a hole (very, very long story). As of late, I have not been quick to respond to him or to help him out. It is just too exhausting and I end up feeling resentful (which as we all know can be a huge Al trigger). Even though it is painful at times, I am sticking to what my feelings and "gut" tell me. Anything else would be insincere.

M3

[hiddengoal]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

Isolation, old friends, and AF wine...and other stuff.

Doggygirl;625545 wrote: I just don't feel up to resurrecting that friendship and I'm not really sure why. I don't want her to sit out there feeling hurt but for some reason I'm not wanting to go there. Anyone else experience something like this with old friends? I'm not sure what to do. It's feeling like an obligation I don't much care for rather than an opportunity at the moment.DG

DG - I know this, but have no answer. I, too have an old friend who moved away. When they visit the area, I am not interested in getting together. I think it is because I am very sensitive to boundaries and that person has a way of penetrating my boundaries. Maybe this does have something to do with the isolation we know when drinking. Perhaps, we got so good at creating the boundaries, that there still remain some circumstances where we feel we need to keep the walls erected. I know what I don't appreciate about my situation is that this person acts as they really know me, but the contact has been scarce for a few years! It is a boundary thing - this person is not in my 'inner circle' just because they say they are. I do know I have a very small 'inner circle' and perhaps the created isolation explains that.

On to the day today - am doing a little home-work - clearing, mucking out, but the task is huge after 30 years in the same space. I have to be patient with myself and just keep at it. Last nite, while picking up a few groceries, I was tempted to buy a bottle of de-alcoholized wine - or AF wine. I thought I could have that relaxing glass with dinner at the end of a weekend. What I was missing was the wine MOMENT, if you know what I mean. I did not get it. I thought it might be the same old thing. I guess I am not ready yet. Someday, I will try it - see about the taste. But at the moment I am afraid - afraid my desire for it is really a desire for the old way - just for a moment of it, anyway.

Has anyone who has quit wine, tried the AF wine? Did it mess you up or, or was it a nice little safe treat? If you have a glass of that, can you say you are still AF?

I asked about this awhile back and got a great suggestion from Det about Pom juice cut with sparkling - been doing that & love it. It got me inspired to come up with a few other AF 'drinks'. I just wonder about the AF wine........I know most of you will say 'don't- it might send you down the wrong road', but I'd love to hear about people who do drink AF wine.

Better get on - Good day ALL!!

[Cinders]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

HG,

Some people use it and others don't care for the taste.

In my opinion, it is grape juice. :-)

You will have to decide but in my case, since it didn't satisfy, it just triggered the desire, if you know what I mean.

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Monday 1 June

AAthlete;625558 wrote: DG, is that little inner voice of yours being rational?

Hmmm...I guess there is a first time for everything, right? Thanks AA and Cinders, HG and Mo3 for weighing in. HG - we used to talk on the phone a lot. I drank through all that. So even though we weren't together physically drinking, I was always drinking. I'm sure she was drinking during times when she was drinking, which wasn't always. It's since I've been sober I haven't felt like talking. Long girl chats on the phone in general are a trigger for that veyr reason. It's like a bar. None of that is my friend's problem, but I still have to put my sobriety first, especially when things are "my problem" and related to AL. Thanks so much for helping me bring clarity to this.

HG, wine and vodka were my drinks of choice. Last fall I tried some AF wines and BLEH BLEH BLEH. Tastes like crap in a bag to me. If you decide to try some I'll be interested in your take. Pom juice and sparkling water sounds SO much better. Cinders none of the ones I tried tasted anywhere near as good as grape juice.....

Onward and forward! (I can't believe it's already almost 1PM where does the time go???)

DG