Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

[Doggygirl]

Hello AAers, AA checker outers, Just thinkin' about AAers, and AA Lurkers!!! It's a new week AND a new month and I LOVE today's Daily Reflections reading so much I'm going to copy it right on into the new thread.

Daily Reflections

A CHANGED OUTLOOK

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

When I was drinking, my attitude was totally selfish, totally
self-centered; my pleasure and my comfort came first. Now that I am
sober, self-seeking has started to slip away. My whole attitude toward
life and other people is changing. For me, the first "A" in our name
stands for attitude. My attitude is changed by the second "A" in our name,
which stands for action. By working the Steps, attending meetings,
and carrying the message, I can be restored to sanity. Action is the
magic word! With a positive, helpful attitude and regular A.A. action,
I can stay sober and help others to achieve sobriety. My attitude now
is that I am willing to go to any length to stay sober!

At today's meeting (a Reflections meeting - so on the topic of this reading) I thought about yesterday, where towards the end of the day I said something like "my only problem today was that my iPod wasn't charged up at the gym...." What occured to me was how my thinking has really really changed somewhere along the path of sobriety.

If the EXACT SAME DAY had occured even 6 months ago, my view of the day and the outcome would have been dramatically different. I would have been angry at the start just because Mr. Doggy would have been sleeping in a bit which he does on Sundays. I would have been resentful before he was even awake with all my expectations of what he was to do yesterday that he wasn't already busy doing by 8AM. It would have just gone downhill from there.

That that EXACT SAME DAY a year + a couple weeks ago, and I would have been drinking (yes, long before 8AM) on top of my bad attitude making it a bad day X 10.

This realization today made me think that I should pause more often to consider how the same circumstances look very different to me depending on my attitude. And then my attitude affects my actions which can have the effect of changing everything!

I need to be careful not to view this as "controlling" the outcome. It's really just about viewing circumstances with a better attitude and acting more like a sane and rational person than a nut job.

Hope everyone is having a good day. I love hearing about the meetings you attend and any other thoughts about AA!

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Great words DG.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Well, I am on step three where I need to let go and let God....turn things over to my higher power. I am to write down on paper what I am turning over and drop it in a "God Box". I am really struggling with this and I am completely stuck. I already turned over the fact that I am an alcoholic and my life was getting out of control. What else to turn over??? It says in the Twelve and Twelve book to use this in time of indecission and emotional discomfort. I never have a problem making a decision and I rarely am emotional about anything. Not much rattles my cage or ruffles my feathers.

Any advice would be MUCH welcomed!

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

I forgot to mention that I have to follow the outcomes of the things that I turn over to my God Box.

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Thanks for starting this weeks thread DG.
PP, I'm too new at all the AA and steps, so I don't have any idea how to help.
Sorry. Hopefully someone will come along with some words of wisdom.

Winefree

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

PP I was really struggling when I first started looking at Step 3 also. I found this study guide helpful A.A. Way of Life - Intro to "Working the Steps". For me, it really broke it down and helped me realize that I was the one making Step 3 overwhelming. The key for me is the word DECISION. I made a DECISION to turn my will over.... NOT I TURNED my will over. The decision is critical, but the actual turning happens in Steps 4, 5, 6 - according to this guide.

Be back later..

DG

[AAthlete]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

....I was outside, praying for willingness, when I raised my eyes and saw a huge bird rising in the sky. I watched it suddenly give itself up to the powerful air currents of the mountains. Swept along, swooping and soaring, the bird did things seemingly impossible for mortal birds to do. It was an inspiring example of a fellow creature "letting go" to a power greater than itself. I realized that if the bird "took back his will" and tried to fly with less trust, on its power alone, it would spoil its apparent free flight. --Daily Reflections--

This really made think about my life, and how often I try to take back my will on a daily basis. It's so easy for me to forget that when I let things just happen (as they will anyway) my life seems to go so much better. I want things MY way sometimes, but my way isn't always the right way, and I have to be willing to accept that. Easy said then done sometimes, but I'll keep working on it.

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

I went to a super AA meeting last night and the start of this thread was what we discussed. It was so heartening to hear from everyone how much their lives have changed for the positive. How their lives are now about more than just themselves and getting that next drink. How their lives have been transformed.

Now, I want to attack a very thorny AA issue, we have discussed it but not hit it head on.

I am very interested in everyone else's take on it.

Many people shy away from AA because of the Higher Power thing and the 'dogma' or 'cultismness' of AA.

I truly believe one could be a true atheist and still find the concept of the Higher Power within themselves. i.e. I am turning my will over to my better self, or what have you. Yet, it still seems to be such a sticking point for many.

Of course, there is the Lord's Prayer at the end of the meeting and I know that turns many off.

It is funny, because I am a believer. I do believe in God, good and evil, etc., but I have always had a hard time believing that God will help me stay sober. I just KNOW it is within myself.

This is my failing. I get stuck at Step 3 and 4. I mean mired in Step 3 and 4.

I have to let go and let happen, as AAthlete has said. It is the hardest darned thing I have ever attempted to do in my life.

Hope to hear from my good friends about this.

Love,
Cindi

[momof3]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Cindi,

Just wanted to weigh in on this even though I am not a regular AA person. I think this whole "God" thing keeps people away from AA because of perhaps past experiences and conditioning on "who" or "what" God is. I don't believe that was ever the intention of AA.

My own notion of God is really about there being a greater purpose or design in life. I have had unexplainable experiences in my life that have made me believe in the magic and wonder of life in general. I too can not "let go" or "turn it over" to God because I do not view God as a paternalistic (or maternalistic) being that will take care of this alcohol issue for me. I can, however, "let go" or "turn it over" in general, having faith that if I work hard and stay connected with humanity that I will have a greater chance of remaining AF.

M3

[AAthlete]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Cinders;626710 wrote:
...It is funny, because I am a believer. I do believe in God, good and evil, etc., but I have always had a hard time believing that God will help me stay sober. I just KNOW it is within myself.

Cindi, I would agree that you are struggling with Step 3, and sometimes we just need to be willing to accept things on faith (resign from the great debating society, as they say). There are still times when I struggle with turning my will over, but I know I HAVE to do it if I want to maintain my long-term sobriety. I have such a peace and serenity in my life when I do, yet I will still fight sometimes and I have to remember that giving it to my HP got and has kept me happy and sober for almost two years.

From the BB, Pg 48
Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith,we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. ....... Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were.

[Popeye]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Hi everyone,

Cinders;626710 wrote:

I truly believe one could be a true atheist and still find the concept of the Higher Power within themselves. i.e. I am turning my will over to my better self, or what have you. Yet, it still seems to be such a sticking point for many.

I think that's a very good way to look at it, if you don't have any specific 'God'. I personally find this difficult. I was a practicing Catholic for many years and tried so hard to believe in the God that was spoken about. After many years of searching, I had come to the realisation that I was just trying to fit in with the idea and that the way it was being put across seemed tailored for a different time. I couldn't carry on and feel that I was being honest with myself.
I haven't started on The Steps yet, and I don't know if I will but I've been going to a lot of AA meetings and I'm learning a lot.
There are, I believe, very few people who can't grasp the concept of something greater than ourselves. This doesn't have to be God The Creator or any other god as such. Nature itself has shown me more than enough power to instill some sort of feeling of awe and majesty. It's creative and destructive power has always been something I respect enough to call a higher power.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

M3, I love your description. And Popeye, yours too. The key point I have taken out of this "higher power" business is primarily an understanding that *I* am not the center of things and *I* am not all powerful and that doing things in a self centered fashion, having faith in nothing but my own will power has not gotten me very good results.

AA - I love the quote you included from the BB about our inability to accept much on faith. I can think back through my life and realize that I trusted very little outside the "4 walls" of my nutty brain. You quoted earlier from today's Daily Reflection reading which was the subject of the meeting I attended this morning. When I was thinking about the bird soaring, I sort of got a mental image of that bird going WITH nature in a harmonious way making flight possible and easy (easy looking anyway!) for that bird. Me on the other hand - I am not even meant to fly but in my brian it's like I sit on the ground endlessly flapping and floppying, in harmony with nothing. That doesn't get me anywhere.

For some reason, I thought about faith and repelling. I was in ROTC my first 2 years of college. I found it to be terrifying even though I am not afraid of heights. It was backing my rear end over the cliff just to get started that was terrifying to me. Today it occured to me that I had no faith in the equipment, the teachers who had lots of experience, or the partners at either end of the ropes helping as a team. That made me realize I started very young having little faith outside of my own ability to "make things happen."

The way I am personally comfortable dealing with the HP question as I try to work the steps has to do with faith in some small things rather that trying to Solve The Universal God Question. (If I waited to work the steps until that happened, I might never work the steps at all) Examples of small things - When something happens to get me stirred up inside, I have been saying the serenity prayer, and I have found that it helps me a great deal. When I personally think something in the AA program sounds nuttier than a fruitcake, I try to have faith that this program has worked for many, many people, so I do what it suggested regardless of what *I* think about it, and whether *I* think it will work for me or not.

Sometimes even these small things feel like dropping my rear end over the edge of the cliff. But I haven't fallen yet. I'm trying to just have faith in the program and give it the best and most honest effort I can.

I really do think we sometimes make more of the steps then what the steps actually call for. Willingness to try is such a huge part of AA at least from what I believe I have been learning. Willingness to try is WAY different than having a perfect understanding and execution of absolutely everything.

How's that for a long and convoluted post?????

DG

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

hi dog lady,im glad the Aa way works so far for you,cinders you never cease to amase me,it is not about god,i to struggled with that part of the program,remember this is a god based program,look into bobs history and youll find that out,the idea of the program was to let go,simple,no,you can make the program as hard as you want,becuase it is in many ways a self thing,acceptance of doing wrong,if you no anything of the bible,even god said ,DONT TOUCH THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT,who knows maybe it was a bottle of whiskey think about it,gyco

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Everyone: I don't have much time right now. I just got back from a very emotional trip to my parents' home. We arranged a place for my Dad in a Alz/Dementia facility, but my mom is having a very hard time. I didn't drink but would have wo/AA & MWO. I'm going to a meeting tonight...I really need it but know I won't drink ODAT. I probably sound a little incoherent, but I'm ok...just a bit tired & stressed out. A meeting will help. I won't let anything happen to my sobriety. Mary

[AAthlete]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Mary, just a quick note to let you know my thoughts are with you through this difficult time. Remember, being part of AA means that you are part of a family. and they/we are hear to listen and help in any way that we can.

Take care of yourself and your sobriety.