Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

AAth: Thank you so much. A few hours have passed & things have settled down. I'm reflecting on how terrible I would now be feeling if I had given in & "taken the edge off." I want to be clear & go through this rather than avoid it all. Mary

[paula]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Glad your'e feeling better Mary. I went to a meeting today, I also struggle with a higher power. I have been drinking for so long, and have repeatedly admitted that I'm an alcoholic. I do go to church, I keep asking for help, and I think it is slowly coming to me. I am so glad I did not pick up a drink today if I had I would not be feeling how I do now.
Thanks everyone.

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

hi teach sorry to here of the revelations in yur life,your a very strong person,mentally and physically,i do wish you comfort gyco

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

at the meetings I have attended they separate "god" from the religious aspect to a higher power that is spiritual. I am still trying to figure out that separation, but I do believe in a higher power. I'm just not sure that my higher power is always doing thing for my benefit in a good way.

Mary, sorry to hear about your emotional trip. It isn't easy with our parents' aging. welcome back to the boards.

Winefree

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Friends: I went to a meeting last night. It was on Step 12 & was just what I needed. There was talk of "emotional sobriety." That's what I need to get through this. It also came to me last night that I want to experience this whole thing regardless of the outcome. Nothing major is going to happen right away. I just have to wait & let nature take its course. The only thing I have to do is stay sober today.

Mary

[momof3]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Mary,

First, I extend my sympathies to you for what you are going through with your dad. It is a very painful experience to see your parents decline and to fight to find the appropriate care for them.

I love this whole concept of "emotional sobriety" and I am intrigued to hear more about it. What did people have to say about it in your meeting?

To me, emotional sobriety is about self-awareness and self-management. By self aware I mean understanding my emotions and what might be causing them. By self-management I mean taking the time to reflect rather than react. Sobriety has really given me the gift of not getting sucked into drama or reacting in the moment, rather, I can really sit on something for days and mull it over before responding to it with composure. I was never able to do that when I was drinking. To me sobriety = emotional maturity (although I still have a long way to go).

What does emotional sobriety mean to others?

M3

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Hello all and special welcome back to you Mary. The term "emotional sobriety" sounds so peaceful and like a very desireable thing! I too would love to hear more about the discussions from your meeting if you have time.

M3, you raise a very good point about increasing our ability to stay quiet and calm rather than reacting in the moment. Drama and volitile reactions to everything around me certainly characterizes my drinking years, and that is how my mind is used to operating. Racing and reacting. With the help of AA I am learning to keep my mind much quieter. I'm certainly not "perfect" at it by a long stretch but viewing things through the lense of the serenity prayer is something that has really helped. And I certainly LOVE how it feels when I do end up staying peaceful about things rather than having emotionally charged over the top reactions to anything/everything. Not sure if that is "emotional maturity" or not!!

The meeting this morning focused on the reading that Dill quoted part of in the Daily thread. One of the guys who I love listening to said some things that really hit home for me. He said he has needed some time lately to be quiet and LISTEN for God's will for him. When he talked about "quiet" he was referring more to his mind and thoughts than to his mouth. He said that he tends to let his mind start racing and then all that is obvious is his own selfish will. When he quiets his mind he is better able to do the next right thing instead of the next self centered thing, etc. I really liked how he described that and it seems to tie in a bit to what M3 is talking about and maybe Mary too - not sure there.

He also mentioned that he is grateful today to have a choice about picking up drink / drugs. At first I thought HUH??? But then he went on to say that in the height of his active addition, he did NOT have a choice - he HAD to feed his addiction every day. That's how I was too - I HAD to drink every day. I sometimes cried when I poured that first one - so early in the mornings there at the end. But I couldn't seem to choose not to. I too am grateful that I now have a REAL choice to NOT drink.

It's really great that the library has the on-line searching and reserving books features, but sometimes the search function doesn't work real well. Using some different features I found the book "Spirituality for Dummies" and started reading it yesterday. It seems like it will be very interesting.

Paula I am very happy for you that you made it through the day sober. One day at a time. I hope you are having a good day today. Hello too to Gyco and WF and AA and anyone I missed and all yet to come! AA it really is amazing - the sense of community in AA.

Have a great day one and all! And thank you all so much for sharing here. I gain a lot from your insights and for me, sharing in this thread just adds even more value to MWO's role (which is all of you!) in my sobriety.

DG

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

DG...I'm so glad your found "Spirituality for Dummies", I am loving the hec out of this book. I'm at work right now, so I can't quote this, but there is a reference to attaining whatever we set our minds to by relating our thoughts to a laser beam. A laser beam is simply several light beams focusing on one thing, there by having the power to cut thru steele. When we allow our minds to wander all over the place, we do not devote enough thought to the one purpose we may be trying to attain. For me, that is sobriety. So everytime Al comes creeping up into my thoughts, I think "laser, laser" and redirect my thougts to sobriety. For now, it is helping. I realize that for now, nothing is as important as my sobriety and that is where all my thought (laser) power is concentrating for now.

I would love to hear what you think of the book when you have read some more of it. I read a bit of it each nite.

r2c

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Mom3: I think your conception of emotional sobriety is right on. For me, it's about acting not reacting...especially if the childhood stuff is activated. I want to think things through & then speak or act. I had a few small flare-ups w/my Mom who is hanging on to control for all she's worth. Emotional sobriety would help me to allow her to be herself wo/any judgements or histrionics. Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Lots of deep insightful information tonight. I'm a little preoccupied and therefore don't have a lot to say. Will keep on reading and probably reread again tomorrow so I can let it all sink in a bit more.

Winefree

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Thank all of you so much for responding to my question about the HP thing.

You are all amazing people and like the AA group, there for all of us.

I love it.

Thank you,
Cindi

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

This week have flown by for me. I am still AF and attendeding an AA meeting everyday. I am on day 47 now. Today hubby and his buddies left for the Bahamas for a fishing trip. They will be gone until Monday night. This is the 1st time he has left since I stopped drinking. It is a little weird but, I won't drink. I am meeting with my sponsor on Sunday night to complete Step 3 so I am excited about that. I have a full weekend planned with kid activities, parties and sleepovers. Maybe I will see you guys in chat tonight.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Hi Everyone: I'm doing well & have gotten back into my program of working step 5. I'm reading & writing, & tonight I'm going to a BB meeting. I'm not sure how I would have handled this whole crisis wo/AA or MWO. In fact, I'm feeling like I need both.

Take care. Mary

Phil: Are you OK?

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Mary, thanks for asking, I sent you a pm.
Phil

[Kayla]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 1 - June 7

Bit of a help with getting back into the whole AA bag

I'm just going to get straight to the point here, and reach out to you lot. Sorry if it's thread hijacking or whatever the protocol is, but I've just come back from an AA meeting - 2nd in 2 days (6 days sober) and my head is really going for it in a major way. DANGER! I know where this one leads... so I'm hoping I can just air this and not be guilty of too much threadcrashing.

FIRSTMAJOR THOUGHTLINE after meeting I've just come home from (8pm Aust time) Goes like this:
"Maybe I'm making too much of this drinking thing? Sure, I can see why she, or he, or he, needs to be here - they had serious addictions. Mine's not too bad. I can't be bad enough to need this kind of heavy-duty (God/cult/gender-biased/outdated)stuff..."

This is completely ignoring the fact that I did dope (cannabis) so badly for 10 years that I was bone thin, constantly nauseous, perpetual headaches, couldn't eat any longer because basically it got in the way of me having a joint in my mouth ... and I was unable to look after my then 1yrold and 3yr old because I needed to be outside smoking ...

Also, completely ignoring the fact that after getting off the dope (finally, it's been 7yrs) I came directly home from that detox and proceeded to drink 3 bottles of bourbon and 7 bots red wine weekly, for eight months - until I ended up in a PROPER DETOX UNIT and not that handy little Buddhist retreat in the mountains I went on to circuit-break the excessive dope smoking ...

You know how you get told you always take something away from meetings - even just one thing? A guy after the meeting y'day (when I was hung up on the above; ie: I'm not a serious case) said something to the effect of: "People who don't have a problem w/drinking don't end up in detox 4 times". Yes, this time I'm counting the hosp detox, and not counting the first dope one, or this home detox this week - so actually that's 6 ... What he said really got me thinking. Yet my head's still pulling this crap?

I don't know what you think guys or whether anyone's even interested, but this seems to BOIL DOWN TO HAVING A MASSIVE PROBLEM WITH THE FIRST STEP?? I can't accept it. I am arguing against "the problem". I don't believe I'm an alcoholic. I think I've got a small problem - when actually all the evidence suggests otherwise - and my husband would say it a little stronger than that, I'm damn sure.

I left the meeting with the ALL-TIME CLASSIC POST AA THOUGHT-LINE: If I have to sit in these meetings, with this repetition, with these same people, every day (90 in bloody 90?) - well then, I'd rather drink..."

That's what my head's saying. Barely imperceptible, there's another little voice saying: I don't want to drink. Please don't talk me out of AA. Or recovery. Again.

Sorry if this is too bloody narcissistic and awful (course). I wanted to get in on serious discussion about AA, as well as saying to Mary: I'm so sorry about your dad and the home, esp as I've just spent 3mths in London doing the same thing with my mum. But i just had to spill this all out there and say I am listening - but if I don't speak up at this point I think I might just talk myself right back into drinking.