AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning all ablanders old and new.

Quick post just to get us started because I am very late for work. Will come back on this evening.

Take care

[Pamina]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Morning Loppy and all to come

Running late here too. Just wanted to wish everyone a happy day.

[rustop61]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Hi everyone

Lots of interesting stuff on the previous threads. I second what the others say Doggy, if that friend is a threat to your sobriety then distance yourself. Not sure what age you are Dill but I know when I reached my mid 40's I reached a stage where I did a bit of a clean out regarding obligation friends!! It might have been my 36 year old cousin dying or maybe it was an age thing but I decided life was too short and I was only going to surround myself with positive, good and giving people. Stopped the obligation phone call, christmas cards etc. and have not heard from some of these people again. Same with in-laws, one BIL, decided enough was enough, will only speak politely if we meet, other than that its up to hubby. It feels great, you feel empowered, I recommend it.

Paula, hope you are feeling better today. Lots of great advice here so keep coming back.

Well done Det, its funny how certain places trigger memories. Bet those guys are feeling like hell this morning and you are bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Good luck with the bac Cindi, how's the new grandchild?

Everyone else big hello, another beautiful morning so off for my walk. I only get to use the computer early as I now have teenagers 24/7 and they are night creatures.

Rustop

[Sweaty Betty]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Hi, am not posting much but felt compelled to drop in today.

I've just been 'home' (UK), and spent time with my lovely friends there, they all saw a big difference in me, and complimented me on how happy and relaxed I was (I felt it too!). I came back to Singapore, had dinner with some of the 'friends' I have here and came away thoroughly miserable! I have very little in common with them and their viewpoints/lifestyles, so I think its time to make changes.

Usually my Mom is a big trigger for me, but this time around we managed a shopping trip and lunch together with no nasty remarks - another major achievement!


So, I'm feeling quite grateful for where I'm at, but also in a state of 'transformation'. I'm going to be in Singapore for a while yet, and so have to carve out a life for myself and find more positive friends here.

I'm notoriously bad at name-checking, but hello to all!

Bx

P.S - Rustop, I think my oldest Teen is on vampire time.........

[paula]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Hi everyone, I did'nt have a drink yesterday, going to an AA meeting later so hopefully won't drink today. I have so much support from my family and friends, but I still fall off the waggon.!

[dill]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Paula, strength to you today! It is sad that it takes such an effort for us to do what most people take for granted! But the effort is worth it, and you can do it!

Deter, I enjoyed your description of being in a place where the last time you were there you were wasted. I was impressed with the way you turned the negative thoughts and emotions around to positive ones! Oh, and I'm very glad you didn't take the opportunity to thank those gentlemen! No, that would not have gone well!

Rusty, thanks for the input! I am 57, and have pretty much got a handle on the 'obligation friends' as you put it. (I like that term!) This one friendship I described is just a bit different as she is really a good, strong and positive person. I just don't find a need in myself to keep the friendship going. But as long as she keeps it up, I will probably continue to respond at least minimally.

SBetty, Glad to see you back! How did the run go? Interesting that you are seeing your Singapore friends in a different light now that you are back. I was curious if you think it is in anyway related to your changing relationship with alc?

Well, it's a morning at the dentist for me. I need two teeth crowned and the work starts today. Ugh!

Hello Loppy and Pamina and all to come.

[Sweaty Betty]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Well done Paula!

I'm having a 'thinking' day today!

Dill - the friends here I'm talking about are not drinkers, but I've always had a drink to 'relax' whilst socialising with them, which has made me the odd one out. Also I've given one of them in particular a lot of support when she has husband issues, and its certainly not reciprocated. I'm smiling as I type this as I'm thinking 'why on earth do I do it?'. Sorry, I think I'm doing my thinking aloud on here today - I hope you don't mind!

And one more thought....another group of friends I have here are moderate social drinkers (as far as I know) and I'm quite happy to be AF when in their company....what does that mean?

My head's 'done in' am off to put the fishfingers in the oven (big treat - really - we can't always get them in Singers.........

Bx

Oh and the run was a blast - 12 of my favourite ladies all in the same place at the same time...I walked it with the slowest of them - 1 hr 20! Didn't matter at all.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Good morning all!

Deter, I too enjoyed reading about your restaurant experience and how you turned it around. LOL it's a funny image thinking about you actually thanking the table of drunk guys. :H With all your martial arts my vision involves you defending yourself handily.

Paula, congratulations on making it through yesterday sober. Sending you strong vibes for today. One day at a time. If hanging here at MWO isn't enough at some point today, I encourage you to call someone from AA. Your sobriety is worth whatever lengths you have to go through to get it and keep it.

Dill, I do not envy you the dentist!

Rustop I appreciate you sharing about your "obligation friends." It really helps me to know that others have gone through this sort of evaluation / change. I do not envy you and others those teenagers any more than Dill's dentist.

SB it's good to see you back and your assessment of your friends in Singapore is interesting. I too am curious if a change in your drinking is part of this situation. Mean time, you must have felt great with people noticing all the positive changes during your visit home! WOO HOO! Good for you on the positive progress with the Mom lunch too.

Hello to Pamina and Loppy.

Well, I have a few things I want to write about but will have to come back later. I'm off to get the day going with an AA meeting and then a visit to the gym for cardio driven endorphin power. Then some massive catch up on stuff in my office! Looks like it might be cloudy / rainy here today so a good day to do that. Otherwise the garden would be calling my name I think.

Have a good day all!

DG

[LVT25]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Good morning, friends! (No obligations here!) :H

I don't have much to add this morning. The friend(s) issues are def ones I've dealt with. My true friends I feel we can pick up where we left off even after not seeing much of each other for months (or years) and the ones that get mad or upset or pissy--I guess that is there problem. I sometimes feel guilty for not making time for them, but should I-really?

Cool and rainy here again today. We had over an inch of rain, so it is unlikely I will be back into my partially planted garden for another day. I sure hope we don't have an early frost--and I really don't have a lot of hope for my potato crop.

I'm helping with vacation bible school, and now I remember how it can be. By the end last year I was SOOOO ready for it to be over! Some children have no manners and no respect! I wonder if they got the point yesterday when in my closing prayer I asked God to give them some of each!!! :H

I better get ready for the morning ahead!!! Have a great sober day all! :h

[momof3]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Paula,

Hooray for you for putting one foot in front of the other, reaching out for help, and getting one day of being AF behind you. It truly is one day at a time at this stage but soon you will feel so many rewards for being AF that you will be ready to spread your wings and fly. Know that it is hard now but it will get better. Remind yourself that if you drink again, you must start all over again. Remind yourself of how terrible you feel about yourself now and how, if you remain AF, you will gain a new strength and confidence...more than you can ever imagine.

M3

[Cinders]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Hi my Abber friends,

Paula, I truly hope you can dig down deep and find the strength to stay sober today. I really do. I know you stayed sober for a long time and did well until your brother. My heart goes out to you. I understand. Dig deep. Stay with us. We care. My hand is still reaching across the pond to yours.

Boundaries. That is what we talked about with the transformation in our lives yesterday in AA. Us drinkers simply do not know boundaries. We want to do all be all for everyone and can't. It is that simple.

Today, I have true boundaries. With friends, with family and even with hubby.

If I do something, it is based on what is good and right and not what is expected.

I hope that makes sense.

Sobriety is #1 for all of us. We are here because otherwise, we will die.

We must make safe boundaries for our personal lives. Doing anything else only makes us sicker and those we try to help not well either.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Everyone: I'm back from a very emotional & stressful trip to my parents. We are about to put my father into a Alz/Dementia facility. It's where he should be, but my mother is very upset. Anyhow, it's all starting to come together. The good news: I didn't drink...I thought about it but didn't. Mary

[Determinator]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

yet another late howdy from Mr Garlic breath. busy busy!

Mary, glad you are keeping your head above water.

back when I get a bit more time

be well everyone.

[Kayla]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Following some advice to check in here. I'll try to just lap up what you're all saying, and try not to get too hung up on remembering names for now. That tripped me up a bit last time. Just know I'm listening to you all - and pushing for sustained sobriety.

I did just want to mention to Ret (Mary) however that it sounds like I'm in a similar place to you right now ... have just come back from a devastating 3mths in London, trying to get my mum (in advanced stages of MS) into a disability home, battling with her to accept it, and for social services to fund it. She went in last night - and has a review in 6 wks, to see whether she stays or not. She's paralyzed waist-down, lots of pain, huge sacral sore (thankfully now healing) - it was literally a fist-sized hole, in her rear, when I first got there. So it's all going down over there in London, and I'm back in Australia - weird to be at such a distance again, even though it was killing me being there - loathed it and drank every day. Lots.

Got to start dealing with all this head on now. Day 4 early days. But getting through WDs now and feeling more positive.

[LVT25]

AF Daily Wednesday 3 June

Hi Kayla!
I really feel for you! What a terrible thing to watch your mom go through and the tough decisions you have had to make. It is so hard when our parents age and lose their health and independence! :l