Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I haven't read last week's AA thread thoroughly but will. I'm doing OK but am very busy & quite distracted w/my parents' situation. As some of you probably know, my father is going into an Alz/Dementia facility soon, & my mother is quite shaken up about it. My brother & I & our spouses are making the arrangements.

Through all this, I've kept up w/my readings & journaling. I've been going to meetings daily since getting home from their home. It has helped tremendously. I also had a pretty deep conversation w/my sponsor. I admitted to him that I thought about drinking, especially while I was in FL making all the arrangements & dealing w/my very upset mother. I've also been getting down on my knees & praying to have the compulsion removed (every morning) & again at night to thank God for keeping me sober for another day. Somehow, that all came together to make the drinking thoughts lose their power.

I hope all is well w/all of you. I'm having a little bit of oral surgery this AM on top of everything else, but I know I'll be fine. Take care & I'll be back.

Love, Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Hi Mary! Thank you for starting this weeks thread. Before I saw this one, I read your post from last night and was wondering if you were back in Florida but it sounds like you are home dealing with these difficult issues long distance. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. It's encouraging to hear that AA is helping you stay sober - I think that gives hope to the rest of us for when we are thrown the curve balls of life. Check in when you can.

For any new people that wander along, this thread is for all of us whether you are active in AA, considering AA, have questions about AA, etc. Please post if you have comments or questions! Here is the link AAthlete provided way back when that gives handy access to several daily readings. Daily Recovery Readings I like the title for today's Daily Reflection which is "Opening Up To Change."

In case it's helpful, here is the link to the on-line study help I've been using to work the steps. This site also looks like it has a ton of AA history and other interesting stuff on it that I have yet to explore. A.A. Way of Life - Intro to "Working the Steps"

Cindi, your description yesterday of what happened on the plane gave me chills. I don't believe those kind of things are just random either. Are you out of town working this week?

R2C I read more of the Spirituality for Dummies book last night and am still amazed at how it is helping me pull a lot of stuff together.

It looks like I might be chairing the Wed. AM meeting for 6 months starting in July. It's a Daily Reflections meeting so I will be responsible for reading that and developing a lead for group discussion. I'm sort of nervous but also excited. It feels good to continue getting involved in things that are far removed from my old drinking driven life.

Not sure what time I'll get to a meeting today because of a strange schedule, but will get to one of them I'm sure. Have a great day all!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

DG: How wonderful that you have this service opportunity! I just got back from a women's BB meeting where we read Bill W.'s story. He stresses service as an extremely important way to stay sober. It's the 12th step. Good for you! You'll be the best...I just know it.

As for me, I'm moving along in my program. I'm going to begin the 5th step w/my sponsor on Sun. I'm getting all my notes together & just know this is what I have to do.

I again saw another person I know from Alanon at an AA meeting. We talked afterward, & she gave me her phone number. I'm going to call her for a walk when the dust w/my parents clears. Believe it or not, that was a big hurtle for me (i.e. going up & speaking to her after the meeting). I think part of my difficulty w/losing my anonymity w/Alanoners is that I was a real old-timer in Alanon (25 years). My arrogance & self-centeredness doesn't want to let go of the "having it all together" image. Seeing this woman & telling her that I'm a newcomer to AA was just what I needed to do.

I hope all is well w/everyone.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Mary, thank you for sharing about your talk with the Alanoner that you saw. It is hard to let go of the false images we worked so hard to create (I have plenty of them!) but little by little it feels really freeing to let that crap go. I had lunch on Saturday with my old college room mate and while I did not get into some specific amends that I will need to address at a later time, I came totally clean with her about my alcoholism and my participation in AA for recovery. We had a good heart to heart talk about it and it felt very good to have this talk face to face and get those cards on the table. She loves me unconditionally just like she always did. I am truly blessed to have her as a friend.

It's scary drawing closer to people in real life. Mary, those images we create of ourselves sure keep us distanced from the core of life and relationships, don't they. At least that's what I'm beginning to see for me.

ETA: I am officially starting Step 4 later today - the writing part. I've done the prep reading on it from 12 & 12 and the Barefoot site (which has all the Big Book references to Step 4) and of course gotten input from my sponsor. I'm also interested in any other recommended resources you guys may have found helpful.

DG

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Mary,

True humility is tough. I understand.

Just keep on doing what you are doing. Your posts help me so much.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

DG: Thank you so much for your story about your college roomate. Your observations about our "images" & how they distance us from others was just what I needed to read. I truly feel that God puts those people in the AA meetings to teach me a lesson about humility (which is that all-important commodity in AA).

When I was doing step 4 (& 5), I read all the entries about the step in the Daily Reflections. Just look in the back at the index. Writing step 4 is a big task, but it will serve you in very good stead. It'll be a reference point for step 5 & 9. My sponsor had me working on it 15 minutes a day, no more, no less. It didn't become overwhelming when done in small increments.

Cindi: It's good to see you here at this thread. You're ALWAYS welcome. Thanks for sharing.

I'm beginning to settle down about the parents' crisis. It'll work itself out somehow. I'm getting on w/my own life while keep tabs on theirs. Most importantly, I'm staying sober.

Mary

[hiddengoal]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

DG, the links are very helpful. Iwonder if they can be made "Stickies" so always easy to find...?
Thanks for all your deep thinking - it is a lot of work to think it all, more or less, share it with the rest of us. Much appreciated, my friend

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

the teacher and the dog , hahahah,i did rt a message earlier but i wiped it out,almost like haivng more family,if the spelling is the poops im sorry but i dont feel my finger tips anymore, teach your an inspiration to all,find your way,make it happen,sorry to hear of your family member gyco

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Mary and DG thank you so much for your posts as they have helped me so much you have no idea. I don't post here everyday but, I do read. That is great DG that you are going to chair a meeting for a 6 month commitment. That's huge! I am doing well and plugging along. I am still completing Step three and saying my Step 3 pray every morning and night. On Thurday i start my Step 4. I suspect it will take me a while to get through that one. yikes :sulk:

Anyway, I am feeling better and better with every passing day. I almost feel like a real grownup.

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Terrific Tuesday!

Good morning all, Happy Tuesday. I can't believe I feel like I am truly finding serenity, at last. I am digging deep to accept a HP and turning my will over to it. I am praying (never really did that before) and have found a sense of calm, like I just don't have to stress over the alcohol issue, because someone/something else is doing it for me!

There is an episode on Oprah this week, I think it is on Thurs about spirituality. I can't wait to watch it.

Mary, sorry about your parents, I too am dealing with an aging, ailing Dad, but I am starting to feel acceptance of his condition. He has tried all kinds of procedures to help his condition with little help. I have to accept that he has tried and this is now how it is. It is out of my hands.

DG...you asked if anyone knew of anymore relative websites. I just found this one yesterday and haven't had much time to puruse it, but I recommend you check it out. It seems to have alot of threads relating to the 12 steps. Let me know what you think, what anyone who checks it out thinks.

Recovery REALM Alcoholism Addiction Recovery Chat Room Meetings and Blogs

Everyone, have a great day.

R2C

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

PP: Don't be intimidated by the 4th step. Just chip away at it a little at a time. You have your whole life to work on recovery. It'll illuminate so much for you. Good luck. I too love the 3rd step prayer & say it every AM & PM. Mary

[calgil]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

inspiringreading here people. I am a lurker but want you to knoew how this inspires me. thanks

[Kayla]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Hi All,
Haven't a lot of time to read right now - I will check in here tomorrow and catch up w/the thread - but just thought I'd post to say I'm with you all in spirit, and I'm still around.

Have been going to meetings and doing readings, and think I'm praying more than I ever have. I've been having a bipolar swing in the opp direction now that all the depressants have been removed, so had to get into Drs y'day and get some help. Lots of agitation and sadness coming up around things with my mum. She has been in the disab home one week now and I've only had 2 short mobile calls w/her. I really empathisise with where you're at with such a similiar thing Mary, with yr Father. It feels like the worst thing in the world. And we all know the booze doesn't make it any easier.

Have some things to contribute re: AA tomorrow, all being well. For now, lots of feelings surfacing ... day 10 ... ah, I remember what recovery means ... feeling again.

Before I go, just want to share this. Driving home y'day, after a very touching meeting, feeling very emotional and unwell. I realised I was scared and heard myself saying out loud to my HP: Please don't let me die now that I've decided to live.

Look fwd to more posts with you all when I feel more able x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Kayla thank you for sharing here. I'm sure it must be painful to be feeling all those feelings! But it sounds like maybe it is a good thing too. You sharing the difficulties of real life is such a good reminder to me to get my head out of "me" and back into the real world where I am so blessed to have all that I do, and where giving holds the key to happiness.

At yesterdays meeting a woman who I've seen around at meeting before really cried out for help. She wants a sponsor badly and is in need of rides. I can't help with the sponsor part but I called her this morning, after much selfish debate in my head, and offered her a ride to the meeting I'll be leaving for shortly. I have such a hard time veering off of "my" plans for the day. I have a long way to go. I need to do more things like this and stop being so selfish. There is a huge difference I'm finding between the appearances of being "giving" on a computer screen where I truly can come and go as I please, and being giving in real life where something might happen to disrupt my plans and where I am NOT in control of everything. I certainly appreciate MWO and all the help I get here and I try to give back. But doing the same in real life is really taking the "giving" thing a step further for me and feels much harder for me. (nothing against MWO - I'm just talking about the nature of forum communication - it can be so near and yet so far.)

Mary thank you for reminding me about the 15 minutes a day program that your sponsor recommended for you to work the 4th step.

More later but for now I gotta go. I treasure your friendship here and the sharing we do of our ups and downs in recovery.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

DG: I was thinking the exact same thing about the computer being different than life. Last night's meeting was quite emotional. There's no way to describe it adequately. It was a speaker meeting who just sparked a lot of very deep sharings during the discussion part of the meeting.

I take a woman (& sometimes one of her friends) from the local half-way sober house to meetings. She's young & pregnant. I find myself feeling maternal &/or teacherly toward her (e.g. telling her that when she smokes her unborn baby smokes as well). She doesn't have a way to get to certain meetings wo/my help. Yes, it does take me out of the way, but I too feel I must give back to the program.

Kayla: I'm really feeling my feelings for the first time in many years. There's no blunting them wo/AL. The only way out of them is through them. I use the one day at a time approach when I feel overwhelmed. Take care of yourself in any way you can.

Love you all, Mary