Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Hello Friends,
AA and my HP have turned my life around. I was so selfish before I found this program. Now I pray every day to be relieved of the bondage of self.
Looks like this prayer is working in your lives DG and Mary!
A gal in one of my meetings had mentioned one day that she needed to catch the bus so I offered her a ride. The next day, she brought me a book of poems she wrote. Her life stories were in the poems. She has experienced many tragedies from the loss of a child to being homeless. She has been sober for 7 years and is a true joy to be around. I have offered her several rides since then and am blessed each time.
I have only completed step 3 but am already beginning to feel the promises come true.

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Kayla, thanks for sharing. The feelings coming back are rough. I wish you well.

Still going to meetings daily here, and hoping for the higher power to take over soon.

Winefree

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Hi Everyone: I just wanted to check in here & see how everyone is doing. I'm working on my 5th step w/my sponsor by coming up w/a list of the exact nature of my wrongs. I can see now that the list is in black & white how they were the fuel for my drinking. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Hi all.

Mary & Okey, those are wonderful stories about the young women you are helping. A good reminder of how impactful a little bit of simple help can be to others. Mary, I'm always interested in hearing the specifics of how your sponsor has you approach the steps. I've come to really like my sponsor as a person and she has a lot of good to offer me that I can learn from. The down side is that I am her first sponsee so she hasn't really settled into a routine way to explain and help work through the steps. With her encouragement I ask others for input, but of course folks are hesitant to give conflicting suggestions etc. So whatever specifics you feel like sharing, I'm all ears and it's helpful. I am taking your advice about 15 minutes a day on Step 4.

Okey, your post seriously brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy that you have found the right combination of resources to have a program that is working so well for you. :yougo::yougo: That gives me hope!

Winefree unfortunately I don't think the HP ever "takes over." The way it has been explained to me anyway is that we still have to do the work, it's a question of whether we are working things "our way" or "HP's way." Sometimes I have trouble making the "noise" in my head stop long enough to listen for and actually hear my conscience guiding me to the next right thing. "My" selfish will is always trying to keep control of things which leads to one irritation after the other. Not sure if that is helpful or speaks to your point....but that's what came to mind anyway. Hope you are having a good day.

Todays meeting was good. It it usually chaired by my sponsor but she was sick today. So another guy with 32 years sobriety chaired the meeting. He is a pompous ass in some respects, but I am learning to separate the message from the messenger which is very good for me to learn. He chose the topic for today which was great - it was about responsibility and what we are and are not responsible for in AA.

1) I am responsible for my sobriety.
2) I am not responsible for anyone else's sobriety. I can be there to help but someone else's choice to drink is not something personal to me.

The group discussion was just really good about where to draw lines related to all kinds of things that occur in AA. I've really struggled with how to help people with rides (as one example) without feeling that it's my responsibility to make sure they get to a meeting. While it is good for me to help, their transportation difficulties are of their own doing (usually either DUI related or $$ related or both - due to drinking) and they are responsible to get to meetings. Keeping this in mind will help me be OK if someone asks for a ride and I really need to say no. (I would feel enormously guilty about that, and therefore not want to give any rides at all as a result)

While "rides" was the example that came to mind, I have a feeling that this lesson will be relevant to many areas of my life that I haven't even thought about yet.

Emotional Sobriety.

DG

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

DG, thanks for the explanation about the HP. I am still trying to take all this in and figure out as much as I can. I know action is involved on my part and I'm working toward that.

Meeting tonight was on Step 11. All about the higher power, god as we understand him, prayer and meditation. Lot's of good discussion about that.

Hope everyone had a good day.

Winefree

[Kayla]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Hi DG, Mary, Cinders, Hidden, Gyco, PP, R2C, Oky, Cal and others,
Thinking of you all, and enjoying reading where everyone's at.

Mary, I can sense and relate to your relief - as hard and ongoing as these sorts of issues are with our aging parents, isn't it reassuring to plug back into our lives again? I'm so glad to be a family again, with my hub and 2 kids. I am torn though- relieved to be back in Australia and not drinking through the nightmare that was London, NHS hospitals, and mum being so ill - yet hard to be at such a distance too. Good for you Mary staying sober through your situation, and your direction about another way to use the Daily Reflections book was great.

Helpful for me to hear you all talk about the steps. I'm on step 1 and I staying there for a while. Re-reading a wonderful book: "One Breath at a Time: Buddhism and the 12 Steps" by Kevin Griffin. He doesn't re-write the steps - just ties their meaning in with B. DG, thanks for welcoming newcomers to the thread. Very thoughtful. Going to hit that link you posted about working the steps.

Going off to a meeting in few minutes. Among all my criticisms of AA, it's good to hone in on some of the positives, like the welcomes. I was handed a cup of tea during my first meeting back last week; it really touched me. And a drunk street-guy wandered in half way through Monday's meeting - everyone was so concerned, and in less than three minutes he was holding a hot cuppa. I was reminded of this when you said DG, that we're only responsible for our own sobriety. Every fibre of me wanted to rescue this guy, but of course it's not possible. He wandered out with a handful of leaflets and a meetings list. Great that some of you are helping others to get to meetings. I'm on the lookout myself: needing to get down to the beach area to mix the meetings up a bit.

Take care all x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Everyone: I'm doing fine w/the parent stuff. My father is in the facility, & my mom is making the adjustment. I'm going to meetings & staying present for everything that's going on. If's not easy, but it is the way it's supposed to be. Mary

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

I finally made it to the womens AA meeting I have wanted to check out, last nite. It was quite different from the other meetings I have attended. There were several children there (not sure how I felt about that). In my mind, I'm not sure it is a place for young children, plus the distraction factor, yet I appreciate that some of these Moms need AA and perhaps can't find a sitter.

That being said, the hilight of the meeting for me was the fact that there were several young women, in their 20's there. The young lady who led the group was around 25 and spoke of how she started drinking at 11 and drank thru high school until she got busted for heroin and cocain at school. They offered her rehab or prison and she chose rehab, reluctantly. But she came to embrace the 12 steps and got sober at 17 and has remained ever since. Most of the women who shared, let it be known that it isn't always "easy" to be sober, but they just turn their thoughts to how it was while drinking, or call their sponser and they make it thru those thoughts.

I get quite emotional at these meetings and the only thing I was able to add to it was that I highly respected these young women for seeing their problems with alcohol this early in their lives and doing something about it. How I wonder what would have become of my life had I done the same. Of course, I didn't really think I had a problem until my 40's but I'm sure it all happened this way for a reason.

Did anyone get a chance to see the Oprah show last week regarding spirituality? I was so moved by a young woman who had been on the show in an earlier episode. She had been hit by a drunk driver, and was severely (to put it mildly) burned over the majority of her body, including her face. It was very difficult to look at her. Oprah showed a picture of her before the accident and she was a very beautiful, promising young woman. And some drunk destroyed her life. What a wake up call that was for me...I wept for hours. To think that could be me someday, doing that to another human, all for my selfishness and bad choices! It makes me shudder to think about....but this young woman was amazing..Oprah asked her if she ever wished she had been killed in the accident, to which she repiled, "No, I have too many things I still want to do with my life"...Oh my gosh, the bravery of that young woman. What an inspiration she was to me.

I hope everyone is doing well. I will continue my journey on this alcohol free quest...and I will grow and learn along the way. Be well, my friends.

R2C

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

R2C: I love hearing the strategies for staying sober. I too marvel at the young women at the meetings...especially the women's that I go to on Mondays. I too have gotten emotional a few times, & I am now sharing a little bit. I always feel my face get a little red & my heart race when I share...I'm nervous (this from a woman who spent my adult life in front of teenagers in a classroom).

I've been feeling the compulsion to drink losing its grip on me of late. Last week when we were doing all the arrangements w/my parents, I had a few thoughts, but absolutely no actions toward drinking. Tonight, we have our dinner club. I'm the designated driver, and I know I will not drink. I'm fully prepared. No one in this group is any kind of excessive drinker, so I won't have to deal w/goofy conversation as the evening wears on. It's so nice to know that tomorrow I'll wake up knowing what I did & said.

Tomorrow I'm beginning my 5th step w/my sponsor. I know what I'm going to say & am looking forward to getting some things off my chest. Except for MWO, nobody in my non-cyber world knows the full extent of my drinking...good hider that I am.

Mary

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

I'm feeling like calling the woman who gave me her name at last Sundays meeting. I'm just not good at reaching out (especially in the 3 dimension world) to ask for help. I'm just so unclear on all this AA stuff, and I so want to get it.

Mary, thanks for sharing your stories and feelings with all of us. I ALWAYS get emotional at AA meetings, and it has nothing to do with being nervous for me, it is just how passionate I feel about sobriety and the struggles we all face that do it for me.

Have a great dinner tonight and enjoy the food and conversation, sober! It is so much better, if only our alcoholic brain would get it!

R2C

[lucky 2.0]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Hi gang. I don't often post here but have gone to a few mtgs lately. Today, I was in a group of 35 women and only one said she was a recovering alcoholic. The others stated their name and that they were an alcoholic. The word "recovering" to me is so fundamental in the journey towards a healthier lifestyle. Am I alone in this thinking? It really is a pet peeve of mine. To state being alcoholic goes against every grain in me. We need to state health to reinforce it. Make sense?

Just my observation.

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

luCKy,

Lots of people preface their name with "Recovering Alcoholic" at my meetings. Others just say they are an alcoholic.

I know what you are trying to say. One of the guys at my meetings always starts out "Hi, my name is and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic." It is very upbeat.

Cindi

[lucky 2.0]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Thanks cinders.

I do like the way that gentleman thinks. I wonder if the groups are open to my suggestions for process improvements?! :H

I heard today that you should always end your shares with something positive and I like that. So, my positive about the mtg is that they gave me a phone list because I never would have asked for any #'s. I think hell would freeze before I call anyone but it was a nice gesture. I also like how they make you think that you reaching out for help benefits them as much or more as it does you.

So, in closing, my name is lucky and I am recovering from drinking too much in my past.

Thank you for listening.

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Hi Lucky. I only have heard one gentleman introduce himself with the recovering alcoholic statement. It is true for everyone however and I think anyone could use that term if they like.
I have been given many phone numbers as well and hesitate to use them. I have been told by some of the AA's in the rooms as well, that it helps them as well if they get a call. It's probably about the 12th step and helping other alcoholics. I believe they are truly genuine in their statements.

r2c, I have been in numerous meetings with young people and am truly amazed how young some of them are and already have been hooked on drugs and alcohol. I hope they all do well since they have their whole lives ahead of them still. One of my mtgs is right on a local college campus and yes, students do attend and not just as part of their coursework.

Mary, I'm with you about speaking. I really don't care to talk and will only volunteer if I can relate to what is being discussed. I'm getting a bit better each day.

I was troubled about drinking last evening. A Friday night and end of work week etc. Held off with the help of 2 AA mtgs and speaking with a lady in AA who has been a friend to me. Had to think the drink through and how it would affect me not only for a couple of hours, but much more of that. Todays' reading spoke to that and boy did that ever hit home. I'm glad I didn't cave.

Winefree

[Kayla]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 8 - June 14

Can't tell you what a relief it is to have a forum for discussing the full range of recovery strategies, esp. concerns about AA - and how I might be able to successfully blend AA with MWO. Listening and learning and looking fwd to a less crazy week and the chance to chat with you all more on the AA thread.

I was hung up on the alcoholic label for so long, and the 'we're never fully recovered' script. For me, it reinforced a basic attitude of being unwell, when what I gravitated towards was a wellness model of recovery. That's why I could never keep AA going in my life before (one of the reasons anyway). However ... that being said ... if you listen carefully in meetings ... there's an awful lot of optimism ... amidst the war-torn, battle-weary stories. People affirm how much better their life is in sobriety. That's what I'm focusing on now. Not the actual labels. Putting them aside for now. And I think it's okay to ID in many diff ways. At my very first (ever) meeting, 8 years ago ... I opened with "I'm ... and apparently I'm an alcoholic". That sure caused a wave of laughter.