AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

[dill]

Marking and running!

I hope all had a lovely AF weekend. Last night was the full moon and I was thinking maybe that was the cause of the intense cravings this weekend! I've heard from several that it was a tough one. Congrats to all who made it!

Yesterday I asked 'would it always be this hard' or something like that. I appreciated all the answers from those of you with more AF time under your belts. Very hopeful replies. Today I'm thinking about Kayla's stuggles with step one. I have said that I accepted that I am 'alcoholic' and have labeled myself as such in another post one time. But, yet, the debate seems to continue in my brain. It isn't 'settled law' yet, I'm afraid. I guess for some it is an epiphany when they realize and admit it, and for others, it is a process. It's almost like I am in court, on trial, and the lawyers are perpetually giving their closing arguments! Today the prosecutor is talking, and I am ready to accept the 'sentence': "alcoholic". Yesterday, the defense attorney was arguing and I was ready to be aquitted! Perhaps I'm watching too many lawyer tv shows! LOL

OK, enough babble! I must get to work.

[hiddengoal]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

Crack me up, Dill. Sleepy rainy morning here in the Midwest, USA. Looking for some sunshine in my day - not always easy with rain clouds in the atmosphere, if you get my drift.

Back later...

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

Hello and happy Monday! Dill, thanks for getting us started today. HG, I just read your post from yesterday and YES we need to all feel free to vent here! We're not perfect. Life will never be perfect. Husbands....well....definitely not perfect. (Deter we will make an exception for you) I hope a little "F"ing and some ice cream at least made you feel better. Have you and DH been able to have any heart to heart talks about the issues?
Is counseling an option?

Dill, although I wish I had never smoked cigarettes at all, since I did I'm sort of glad I quit that addiction first. I think it was more straight forward for a couple of reasons.

1) It's less socially acceptable, at least in the US so there isn't so much pressure to smoke and it's not glamorized as much as AL with all the limitations on advertising.
2) Virtually everyone who smokes is addicted to it unlike AL where the estimates I've seen suggest about 12% of people who drink AL are addicted to it. So the question of "am I addicted?" with smoking is very straight forward.

But you know what???? That voice in my head who I shall call Nic STILL tried to suggest I was not addicted to cigarettes on a regular basis. The "now we can have just one" thinking went on for me just as it did and still occassionally does with AL. Can you believe that??? What this demonstrates to me is that the voice in my head babbling on with "am I really addicted..." stuff is quite simply the addicted part of my brain trying to get a fix. It has nothing to do with reality. At all. At least due to the Nic experience I have a basis to know that AL is totally lying about me not being an addict, or somehow having become unaddicted.

Don't know if that's helpful for you or if others who quit smoking have found that to be similar.

TG, what is the link to that secrets site? Sounds interesting!

Well, I need to get going to Monday Leads group so see ya later! Enjoy some AFness today!

DG

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

Morning abbers!!

Thanks dill! Court - those trials do drag on do they not? With my firends as the jury, I've been acquitted. But they didn't see all the evidence.

HG, I'm noticing that some/many here are finding themselves evaluating their marital relationship when they become sober. I don't have words of wisdom but I am listening and offer my support and understanding. Let your inner light shine so that is fills the room and spills out of the windows! (Sometimes you have to fan it to get it going)

Really foggy here this AM. Hope it's a nice day as there is a cookout at the river tonight for the trout club meeting. I've got to get someone to fish with.

Monday is a good day to do that exercise in which you write down 5 of your qualities. It's a good day because you do it through Friday and each day the 5 are different. (no repetition like "beautiful" and "stunning". Then you stand in front of the mirror and read your list aloud to yourself. I found this to be quite difficult. Pretty cool when you read it to yourself though. It's hilarious if you do it naked with bed hair. :H

On that note, I shall depart!

[rustop61]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

Hi Dill, Hidden and all to come

Really loved your description Dill. I too have those debates in my head. They used to be daily but the more AF time I achieve the less debate that goes on.

Not as warm here this week and managed to get out for my walk this morning. Busy week-end, have to catch up on the boards. No pony show this week-end but one coming up next week-end.

Have a great week everyone.

Rustop

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

I'm trying to look on the bright side of this new puppy business right now. I should be able to get more done in the mornings since I'm going to be up bright and early! But that is hard since I am so tired from being awakened every couple of hours by him. Any advice on crate training a new pup would be greatly appreciated! What I need to learn is the difference between "I REALLY WANT OUT OF HERE" cries and "I REALLY GOTTA PEE!" cries.
The house is already starting to smell like a kennel--his pillow in his crate really reeks and we've had him less that 24 hours! My 11 year old son will be in charge today, so I think I'll corral him in the kitchen on the vinyl floor with orders to set the timer and take him our every 30 minutes! At least no pooping accidents yet--that one is a little more predictable!

So for awhile I will probably be keeping you entertained with the sagas of sam. I was thinking this morning how incredibly NOT FUN this would be if I was still drinking!!!:H

Have a great week all! :h

[AAthlete]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

Dill, thanks for getting us started this morning. I am kinda on the other side of the fence, in that I know if I start drinking again I am most likely a dead man. This is a progressive disease that KILLS people every minute of every day, and if I forget that I am one step closer to putting alcohol into my body....

Anyway, happy Monday morning to everyone! LVT, we our pup is now four months old, and our breeder had us buy a 3x4 cage, put her bed in the back and newspapers in the front and just leave her in there at night. No getting up to take her out or to comfort her - just let her mess the papers and put herself to sleep. Seemed to work as she was sleeping through the night after three days and crate-trained (for the most part) after a couple of weeks.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

Where has sausage been?

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

Good morning!

Greenie, too funny about the standing naked with bed hair in front of the mirror telling yourself how wonderful you are. I must try that! LOL!

LVT, I don't have a puppy, but I do find that puppies have a 'distinct smell' to them. I am not fond of that smell, therefore I don't have a puppy. I am sure that Sam will settle in, in time.

Nothing much for me to say today. (STOP APPLAUDING! LOL!) Just have to run a few errands. I couldn't find a dress in my neighbourhood for Little AFM's preschool graduation party (well she isn't gradding - but they include everyone - which is tres cool!) So I am off to the shops in town to browse around later. Lots of fun on the bike yesterday AM and PM. I am losing weight even after a week! I feel so slim the last couple of days. Yippee! Sleeping like a log the last few nights. Just loving AF life.

I have started Antabuse last night as a safeguard. I can't tell you the wonders of having NO mental conflict. It is like the weight of the world has come off of my shoulders.

Yes, where is Sausage?? I was also wondering about Mohun and KitKatSue?

Have a great day everyone! Must make lunches and shower! Oh, and say my affirmations standing naked in front of the mirror with my bed hair! I cannot forget to do that!

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

Happy hangover-free Monday ABeroooooooos!

trying to be discreet here at this trade show. (nooo neeee nooooo)

Dill nice kick start. for me, realizing I'm an alchy was a process and let me tell you I went down kicking and screaming bloody murder. I realize I wasn't just an alchy but an Olympic-class alchy! hey, if you're going to do something give it a real go eh? so I'm in the same boat with AA, AF= not only happiness but my actual survival.

had wretched dreams last night....full moon? dunno. anyway, aside from that life is totally fabulous.

Greeneyes, I'll come trout fishing with you!

be well my friends,

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

AFM LOL!!!!

Nothing much for me to say today. (STOP APPLAUDING! LOL!)

[ready2change]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

LVT...congrats on the new puppy (well sort of :-) I don't know if I honestly will ever do the puppy thing again...after my Aussie!! The crate will be a god send once the puppy gets used to it. But you have to remember, dogs are social animals and he has just been removed from his littermates and he is definately going to be lonely until he gets his routine.

I have heard that puppies literally have to pee every 3-4hrs up until they are around 12wks. Course each puppy is different...but I would definately say for the first week or so, it will be a learning experience for both of you as to whether he really needs out or just wants company. Are you keeping the crate in a room with you or the boys? I found that immensely helpful, they relax alot sooner knowing someone is there as opposed to being on their own.

One last word of caution!! I kept my Aussie in the kitchen for the same reasons you mentioned...HOWEVER...she ripped up half of my vinyl floor!!! Which entailed a trip to the vets and about $1,000 to replace the floor as I am a renter...so beware that this is a possibilty along with chewing on the floorboards...YIKES..sorry, just wanted to share. Best of luck to you (and glad it's you and not me...just kidding!).

R2C

[free bird]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

Hello everyone,

I]The "now we can have just one" thinking went on for me just as it did and still occassionally does with AL. Can you believe that??? What this demonstrates to me is that the voice in my head babbling on with "am I really addicted..." stuff is quite simply the addicted part of my brain trying to get a fix. It has nothing to do with reality. At all.[/I]

DG Thanks for your perspective.....Loved, loved what you said here. I can really relate to what Dill was going though in her trial analogy and then you put this out there to sum it up (for me anyway). It really got me.

I am still putting in the zeros and remaining strong and determined. Yesterday's shower (bridal) was more of a challenge that I thought it would be. Just for one minute (second) I thought hmmmm....maybe I can....And that just plain disturbed me and I quickly remembered my goal and how dispappointed I would be. That was a new feeling for me. Not to mention the peeps I shared my goal with and fessing up. Thank you all very much for that too. YEAH.

Busy today with oldest daughter's birthday stuff. Wow do they grow up fast. She will be off to college soon. I would love to hold that baby again and protect her from every little thing. She is so innocent.

GO

[AllApologies]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

It's ThatGirl by the way people, I had to do a destructive system restore on PC and lost my password for MWO, so am usging my other account.

Free bird: well done on all those little 0s, they soon add up!

LVT: I still remember when my dog was a puppy, unfortunately he's of a particuarly stupid breed (stafforshire bull terrier) and he still hasn't quite got the hang of comign when called. He took along time to get housetrained too, but it was always fun runnign around after him, enjoy the puppydom whilst you can!

Greenie: Lmao at bed hair + nakedness. This morning I foudn myself looking in the mirror at just that, and I actually smiled. It's strange but havign eczma and having it improve as much as it has since using new creams etc has really taught me to love my body more than before! Just ahvign normal skin is somethign to be thankful for every morning.

DG; I foudnt he exact same thing with the addicted part of my brain, except I am able to have just one or two cigarettes on one day, and then not smoke again for a week. here's the post secret link for you: PostSecret

And now onto my day, and there's alot to write so bear with me, but you don't have to read all of it don't worry

My brother is to be arrested later this week: he got itno a fight at school and broke the jaw of a boy in his year - he is expecting to be sentenced for GBH and will be drugs tested. He will (I know for a fact) fail the drugs test.
I've been having more difficulty lately in staying AF on days when I should. I have drunk 2 nights in a row now, largely to dealw tih the stress generated by my brother and my pc (which is broken). On the plus side my weigth has dropped to 7 stone 11lbs from 8 stone. I am much pleased.
On a more controversial note: what on earth is with the european election results? UKIP and the BNP getting seats? hey why don't we just go back in time and elect the Nazi party again huh? damn racists. Lib Dem is the way to go people! xD

-TG

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Monday - June 8th

Hi all

Quick check in from me.

Yes I'm still here and still sober!!!

Not been around lately and one reason is I was actually admitted to hospital over the weekend. Have been having gastrointestinal problems (lost quite a bit of weight recently; 28 lbs over last few months - not just due to not drinking I feel) and I had been recently been having tests - colonoscopy and endoscopy various bloods etc - none revealed anything abnormal - however my stomach keeps bloating after I eat - it's very painful and I feel full very quickly, anyway things escalated over the weekend and it was all a lot worse, so I went to accident and emergency and I ended up getting admitted to hosp. They've run some tests and have more planned as an out patient too - so hopefully should get to the bottom of it soon.

Anyway, certainly haven't felt like drinking, so I'm still on track working towards my first year sober.

Must catch up on the threads, i'll be back later

Hi to everyone

Sausage xx