AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

[dill]

Marking!

Good morning to all Ablanders! I've go a cardinal outside my window that is flying into my window repeatedly. I think he is fighting with his reflection? I don't know. We've tried several things to distract him, but so far, to no avail!

Kayla, my thoughts are with you. Good job on 10 days! Sorry you're going through such sadness. Hang in there!

So, yesterday at work I had an amusing (to me) moment. The past two days have been very stressful: evaluating preschoolers for special needs preschool placement. It's a difficult task! Then writing up reports and making plans. Many times in the past I have had to take my work home with me and I would set myself up with my laptop and a glass of chardonnay and type away! Amazingly, the reports would turn out to be accurate and readable! (to my surprise when I read them the next day.) Well, this year, I'm writing them without Char, but that's not the amusing thing. I was sitting in a room with my immediate supervisor, working on reports when she spoke up and read a bit of hers out loud and said: "I did this last night. I don't remember writing this!" I smiled and said, "Were you drinking a glass of wine?"

Have a great day, Abbers!

[free bird]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Good day Abbers,

Funny thing Dill -- About 1-1/2 months ago I think I had the same angry Cardinal at my windows. Nothing I could do would get him to stop torturing himself. He finally stopped. I thought maybe it was mating season and he was fighting with himself. As I type this I see some similarities with human behavior sometimes.

Still AF and feeling tired. Could be hormonal and could be......tons of things. Hope it goes away. BUT I feel great being AF and getting my old self back; one piece at a time. I am beginning to realize how personal this jouney is and how important it is for me to personalize it. Make it mine and own it. I think it is wonderful we can all help each other as much as possible with understanding and compassion.

BABBLE.....Must get some things done around the house.

I truly hope everyone is reaching their goals and doing something for themselves today. Have a good one.

GO

[hiddengoal]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Morning AFreedom Riders -

Freebird, tired comes from so many places. I also expected this boundless energy and new person coming free when I stopped the wine, but nothing so drastic. Feeling great, though, and will not stop being AF for anything at this point. I know I can only get healthier and happier with each day.

Kayla, I will have to read your post. I had to wadw through MUCH sadess in the first 3 weeks. But I came out the other side! And I feel better because I am dealing with it, instead of avoiding it. It's just hard when you haven't faced it and there it is, staring you in the face. Hang in there, post, journal, blog - you will be fine.

Dill, the Cardinal....man they do that a lot. We find them dead under the window sometimes, with little feathers on the glass. OR, the cat leaves us a few treasures on the doorstep....poor Tweety.

great Day to All!

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Good morning Dill, free bird and everyone,

Woke up to sunshine here today in PA, nice. Yesterday was dark & stormy with the threat of tornados all afternoon. We are not usually subject to tornados around here - hurricanes yes but not tornados. Have to go out and check on my seedlings, hope they held up

I have 3 NF weeks under my belt now but am still battling the demon. Wow, what a chore. It's exhausting and I find I'm not sleeping well which is frustrating. Makes me feel like an idiot for being so dependent on the stupid smokes for so long. This will pass too, I'm sure....................

Wishing everyone a wonderful day

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Good morning friends.

Another dreary, rainy day it looks like. I love the rain, but we really need some sunshine here!
Had a busy day again yesterday. We took Sam with us to town--loaded up crate, toys, food, water dish. He loved running around at the cemetery where I work--chewing on the flowers, stealing stuffed animals....then I put him in his crate and he took a good nap.
Then off for a very long evening of baseball. I only had to get up twice with him last night. I did cheat though, I didn't lock him in his crate-I made a small area by the couch for him and he woke me up both times to go outside. Progress I hope. Now that he is more comfortable around here he is starting to get into and chew EVERYTHING. He is so much fun though!

The fatigue and the headaches were what I struggled with when I first got sober. I still get tired--you guys are right--it is caused by a lot of different things. I do find if I go out and do something outside I don't notice it as much.

Have a great af day all!:h

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Dill: I was a sped teacher then in the latter part of my career, I chaired a large sped dept. I wrote many a report...late at night under the influence. In fact, I did a lot of things w/a wine glass in hand. I thought it would make tasks easier &/or more fun. It only took longer & the results often had to be revised the next day when I was sober. Mary

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Just read the tail end of yesterday's thread. TG, I hope you're feeling better. The alcohol and other things will not help--they will make it worse in the long run. I wish I had better advice for you--just wanted to know I care. You too, Kayla--:l

Det--your post reminded me of a dream I had this morning. I can't remember the details, except I was in Vegas--and not having a whole lot of fun since I was sober!:H

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Good Day All!!! Special strength vibes to Kayla and TG today. TG what happened to your TG user name? I know strange things happen to those sometimes. Computers will always be a mystery to me - good thing Mr. Doggy knows something about it since that is our business LOL.

Dill thank you for kicking us off today. Oh my - doing work with a drink in my hand. Yes. For years and years and years any work I did in the evenings was with AL beside. me every step of the way. And yes Mary - many mornings of having to revise what I did or remind myself of what I did. In the later almost 10 years, this also involved "starting happy hour early" while working from home during business hours, and that got earlier and earlier over time until it was 6AM "noon somewhere." I am SO GLAD to be reminded of the horrible places AL took me. I need to remember those times. It feels so good not to be there.

free bird I hope you figure the tired thing out. Maybe it will go away on it's own if it's just AL related. For me I had a low thyroid and low progesterone and life got WAY better in the energy level and sleep departments when those were fixed. Sleep with AL's help was no kind of sleep either. It was being passed out for a few hours then waking up to be restless and sweating the rest of the night. And hungover while doing that. Yuk.

HG and all others with cardinal stories, sadly we see that a lot here too. Some random birds occassionally fly into the window which seems accidental but the male cardinals will kill themselves bashing into the windows. I feel so sorry for them. free bird I certainly see that I have done that many, many times myself. And old habits die hard even in sobriety. I am so happy to hear that the AF experience is such a positive one overall for you HG. I know there are difficult things that have to take place but isn't it nice to get free?

Lavande congrats on 3 weeks NF. That is NOT EASY I know. Each experience is different but for me, it was around the 100 day mark where things became noticeably easier in terms of frequency and intensity of cravings. (not "easy!" easier...) Hang in there so you don't have to go through this craptacular experience again!

LVT, all I can say is that when I die, I want to come back and be Sam!!!! It sounds like he had an awesome day yesterday!! Good for him only waking you up twice. Most of them get it pretty quick if you stay consistent with the program. It's nice to have potty training basically over with in a few weeks. My first dog I was not consistent and tried to change methods more than once on him and potty training ended up lasting nearly 4 months. YIKES. The get up several times in the night and go outside method, to me anyway, is so much easier in the long run.

I can't believe the rain (but not over the top excessive rain) and cool weather we are having for June. My garden is totally loving this. I know that mother nature can deal a different hand at any moment but for now I am hopeful! Day before yesterday when weeding I saw the first cauliflower head forming. And some of the varieties of tomatoes have little bity tomatoes. Amazing. I need to plant more radishes today and eat lots of lettuce as there is way more than enough out there!

Today I was reminded that in addition to being cunning, baffling and powerful, Al is also PATIENT. He is always there waiting for us should we drop our guard. He will wait there in our minds for many years. I can never afford to be tricked into Als' thinking - which is that NOW I am better and can have one drink, or any other of the many lines of thinking Al likes to trick me with. The best way for me to combat the patience of AL is to develop a LOT more patience myself. When I think about it, patience is very often at the core of any feelings of anger, resentment, irratability and those feelings never lead to a good place. So today I will work on being more patient. It was interesting to realize how impatient I can get even when "schedule" is not an issue. i.e. I can get just as angry at slow traffic whether I am late to something, or whether I have no time table at all. So I realized that my problem is with patience itself, not so much with needing better time management skills LOL.

I'm off to deliver a new member packet for our Buy Locally organization. I will probably stop by the nursery as I still have a few empty pots on the porch - maybe some flowers will be on sale and calling my name. Later I will go to the gym. I also (finally) went to the chiro / accupuncture person a couple days ago to have my hinky hip looked at. I had a physical exam Monday where he said he thinks he knows what is wrong but wanted to cinfirm with X-Ray. I got the X-Ray yesterday and go back today for diagnosis and treatment recommendations. This problem has been nagging me for years and I've been avoiding having it looked at due to fear. Fear that it might be something serious. Fear that it will be costly to fix. Fear that it will be painful to fix. Fear that I will have to go to the chiro for the rest of my life. Etc. Time to deal with it.

Have a great AF day today everyone!

DG

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Good morning Abbers!

My hat goes off to you all that have quit smoking. I have not won that battle yet. My father said on Sunday that I will always have an excuse to NOT quit; so I should just do it. I know that is so very true. He has been quit for almost 18 years now. A 3-pack a day smoker. Although he did end up with esophageal cancer/tumor (Barretts Syndrome) late last year/surgery in January of this year. When he quit he decided to drink ciders instead of beer as the beer triggered his smoking. He had the worse heart burn for a year and a half. Every night the ciders would bring this on. He figures that quitting the smoking and changing his drink is what caused this tumour to develop. Barretts syndrome is a result of acid reflux/heartburn. SO go figure eh?

Anyway, the smoking is next on my list. I don't smoke as much in the summer so it would be a good time to start weaning or just going cold turkey. I may give it a go on Monday. I am so sick of the stink, money wasted and not to mention the effects it has on health. Blech!

Grad ceremonies tonight at the preschool. I just love how they have every child participate. Little AFM will be there for one more year - but I am just sooooo excited about taking photos and filming her with that cap on! Tee hee!

Must run. Love you all & have a great day! xoxo

[free bird]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Hey....

It was interesting to realize how impatient I can get even when "schedule" is not an issue. i.e. I can get just as angry at slow traffic whether I am late to something, or whether I have no time table at all. So I realized that my problem is with patience itself, not so much with needing better time management skills LOL.

I read somewhere or heard it somewhere that people that are always trying to get things done fast or are quick in work...whatever....can't really remember...just impatience I guess, but anway they have more of a tendancy to become alcoholics.....Hmmm

I too relate to this part of your post today..

Thanks again.

GO

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

DG: I needed a reminder that AL is cunning, baffling, & powerful...always lurking & waiting for an opening. Last night's speaker was interesting in that he spoke about a relapse he had in which he had a glass in hand & really didn't know how it got there. That relapse lasted a year during which he didn't question his AL use. It wasn't until he got yet another DUI that he saw how snared he had become. Yes, AL is patient...always waiting in the wings. Mary

[AllApologies]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Hey guys, a quick check in but I'll be back later to see how everybody's doing. I'm much better today, went for a run in the morning and spent some time with my lovely fiance. I'd just like to thank everybody for their support, especially DG, it means alot to have friends on here wishign me well

-TG

[dill]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

About the cardinal: hb hung a sheet over the window: The bird couldn't see his reflection any more and ceased his activity! Hurray!

About the supervisor that didn't remember writing what she had in the report: yes, she said she was drinking wine at the time!

Lots of interesting posts here today, with good sharings and good food for thought! Thanks everone!

[Pamina]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Evening all

Interesting thoughts about patience, among other topics. I thought about that today at work, how I want to do things briskly and how *my* way is the best way... Someone was trying to prove themselves and got in my way, which, yes, was annoying. But instead of snapping at them I was able to recognise their effort and find a joint approach. I find it so fascinating how emotional sobriety develops one small piece at a time, how ordinary interactions that may seem mundane or obvious to other people feel huge to me because I spent so long just avoiding discomfort rather than cultivating alternative coping skills.

Thank goodness I don't have to go in early tomorrow, but today London was quite something to behold. A 48-hour tube strike is causing travel chaos and provoking self-reliance. I saw huge swarms of humanity, literally hundreds of people cycling and marching across Waterloo bridge this morning. If they can all get to where they're going, so can we.

First , lets get a good night's rest.

[Loppy lugs]

AF Daily - Wednesday - June 10th

Hi folks,

Haven't posted for a while because I was feeling so low, and that is from me who always wakes up cheerful!!

Anyway have my appointment with the shrink tomorrow morning and feel so frightened I can't breath. Not really sure what I'm scared of but... there is so much more to alcoholisim than alcohol.

At the moment worried that I will over sleep...... Don't have to be on a train until 6.15 and normally have posted by then so what am I worried about. 6 hours sleep is enough for anyone right?

Really love you lot because I couldn't do this on my own

Take care