AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

[hiddengoal]

Mornin'in AFreedom Riders!

Where is June going? Wow, we haven't even hit 70 degrees here , when its usually scorching 90's by now. Good to keep the air off and utilities down...from a practical side of things. Moving into the weekend - finishing a little bath remodel - new floor, vanity& sink, and wall color - Yipee! Been 25 years - so overdue.

To carry on with the creature features here, apparently there was a bat flying around in the house last night - just after we had the bird in the chimney and thought it could be a bat. I wasn't home and I guess he was hard to capture. Need 'em for all those pesky mosquitos.......

Well, I hope everyone is doing well with their AF efforts, and that it gets easier day by day. It is for me. I am just dealing with things so much better - more calm, more patience, and more insight. I don't have mood swings, although there is still frustration. I just have to stop and try to label the feeling - is it mad, sad, or hurt or just what? I used to skip over that and go right for the wine...ah, I just need a glass of wine. After a few years of that, there were quite a lot of feelings to sort and that has been the work of going AF for me. The cravings have really been fleeting thoughts and not a lot more...but the sadness that came up during those first weeks wanted to level me, that's for sure. But looking at the 60 day mark tomorrow, I can say much of that sadness has been sorted and sent off. Still 'some closets to clean', but I now know a bit more how to do it.

This is definitely the first time in at least 14, or maybe 20 years that I have gone 2 months with NO wine. During my pregnancies, I think I may have even had a glass of wine in a month. SO, who knows, this could be virgin territory since I turned 18 and it was briefly legal drinking. (State law changed for 3 years - when I turned 18, the law changed to 18, then when I turned 21, it changed back to 21 - really helpful for a lost girl finding her way in the world).

This is a rambling start to the day, so I hope you all feel FREE and CLEAR!
Anyway, its new territory and its empowering.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

Morning abbers!!!!

Hi and thanks hg! Maybe I'll have peppermint ice cream for you tomorrow to celebrate your 60 days.

Do you have a cap on your chimney? Keeps the rain and avian friends out. I didn't and didn't know it was supposed to have one until it was pointed out when my fireplace had to be replaced.

I too have more calm and all too. One thing that helps with that is my boundaries are very clear. When I was drinking they were blurred and often trespassed by myself and others resulting in a chaotic mix of bad feelings. That is probably the one single thing that allows me to be around estranged one. BTW he wanted to use my car not long ago. Ha!
When I saw the dentist this week, he said "I think for a while you were really stretched thin emotionally for a while there. You have a peacefulness about you now and you look fantastic." Aslo, BIL took me aside this spring and said "I know you've made some big changes in your life and I just wanted to say that you look great.... I mean really great".
So the positive things that you feel whether you notice or not, show on the outside. Not just the improvement in skin, etc. your energy shifts are visible as well.

It's friday, time for the naked recital while bed hair is still fresh.:H

[free bird]

AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

Good Day to everone,

HG -- this is too weird. Yesterday's thread I replyed to your bird story and went on the talk about bats in the house. I deleted it because I thought it was too personal. when you first told your story about the bird the first thing I thought of was "BAT". They are great outside.....eating all those darn bugs, but in the house......big, fat no no

I too hope everyone is managing ttheir goals. I have been finding these past 10 days easier too than I thought, but it did take some time to finally deicde to quit. What I mean is that the cravings have been minimal and noticably different than before. I know there is a lot of work ahead, but I certianly preceive them to be mental rather than physical. I have to admit there has been little temptation so far. The end of the month will be challenging with more social things on the horizon.

Have to check out early this a.m. Teens home lurking.

Have a great, sober weekend everyone.

GO

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

Good morning friends!

I'm up a lot earlier these days with a puppy in the house. I hope to soon start our walks together. The older he gets, the more energy he needs to burn off. I really hope we can get him potty trained. He still seems to just squat and pee just whenever. It doesn't help that I haven't been home much to help with this. My sons get a little too absorbed in the tv and forget about Sam's needs. I will def need to clean the carpet when this is all over. We did leave him alone (in the kitchen) yesterday for 3 hours. When we came home, he had escaped, but only found 1 pee spot. And my floor was still intact!!:H

It is a little hard to feel grateful after the storm we had. All the damage to the crops, fences, roads, basements, etc. But I do, I was really prepared for a tornado. I'm also so grateful I don't have the desire to drink these feelings away.

I was feeling a little stressed yesterday--I had a lot to do, kids weren't cooperating--that is when I get bitchy. I really need to learn to mellow out. So what if my son didn't have clean underwear for a 4 day weekend away. It is his problem. (ANd probably doesn't bother him)

Hope you all have a great SUNNY and SOBER weekend!! :h

[dill]

AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

Good morning, Greenie, HG and all to come. Greenie, thanks for sharing those positive things that were noticed by others. That is fantastic and makes me wonder if others might be noticing sublte changes in me, as well. At this point, at least I am!

HG, You kind of amaze me. I remember when you first started posting on this thread and you were just going for 30 days. It's been wonderful watching you grow and bloom! You ought to take some time one day and read the progression of your growth in your post archives.

I feel stronger every day, too. I may be making my journey longer than I need to by relapsing sometimes along the way, but I honestly think it's part of a learning process for me. Maybe I'm just a slow learner? But I am findng my way out. Of that I am now certain. I wasn't so, in the beginning. Thanks to all of you here for your sharing and support.:l

Creature Features: The sheet fell of the picture window that night due to a rain storm. Yesterday morning Mr. Cardinal was right back at it! Mr. D rehung the sheet so he could stop beating himself up. Now the question is: How long do we have to keep that old ratty sheet up on our picture window?!!! Good thing we don't live in town!:H

DG, I saw this headline and thought of you! I am an Idol fan and have been for many years, so when you talked about having Adam Lambert on you iPod, I knew exactly who you were tallking about. But I had NO IDEA there was this phenomenon!!::H
Pop Vox: Newsweek's Daily Arts and Culture Blog : Why Cougars Crave "Idol" Runner-Up Adam Lambert

[dill]

AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

Oops! Cross posted LVT! HI!

Hope you all have a great SUNNY and SOBER weekend!!

Same to you!

[rustop61]

AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

Hi everyone

Teens home lurking here too so this is just a quick check in.

Congratulations Hidden on your 60 days tomorrow. Everyone sounds so calm this morning. A lot to be said for this AF lifestyle. Greenie, I used to think it was an age thing with the boundaries (when I was younger I let some people walk all over me) but you are probably right Al played a part in it too.

Have a great day everyone.

Rustop

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

Congrats to you Hidden! Way to go!

Good morning, friends!

Just a fly by for me this morning. Got a bit of a jog in last nighth and feeling great! I love sober life! It really puzzles me when I sabotage it. I feel so peppy, and happy when not drinking. Oh, and so positive about things. I am thankful for my Antabuse as it is a safeguard. I take it with my other med in the morning without thought now; and it really helps with the mental conflict. I have NO physical cravings at all. It is being bored, tired, lonely or angry that typically triggers my drinking. Mainly boredom. But my schedule has been loaded and all is good.

Anyway, be well everyone. Have a wonderful day! xoxo

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

dill;633587 wrote: DG, I saw this headline and thought of you! I am an Idol fan and have been for many years, so when you talked about having Adam Lambert on you iPod, I knew exactly who you were tallking about. But I had NO IDEA there was this phenomenon!!::H
Pop Vox: Newsweek's Daily Arts and Culture Blog : Why Cougars Crave "Idol" Runner-Up Adam Lambert

WOO HOO what a great link to visit this fine Friday morning! And Joan Raymond (author of the linked article) sure knows her cougars as she mentions Johnny Depp in the opening paragraph too. We need a lecherous cougar smilie around here. Thank you for sharing. I haven't seen the Rolling Stone cover but I'm going to find it and buy it. LOL I haven't bought a copy of Rolling Stone in at least 100 years.

[/drooling]

HG thank you for kicking things off today with such a great post. I echo Dill's words that it has been such a joy to watch you grow on this thread. You make such a good point about our moods. I always *thought* Al put me in better moods but Mr. Doggy has confirmed many times over the liar that AL is on that mood front. Bats in the house - yikes! We have them around here too and I don't mind living with them so long as they stay outside where they belong!

:H Greenie I'm gonna start the Nekkid Bedhead Mirror Review. Look what you've started! Greenie your transformation has been so wonderful and obvious to watch on line - it doesn't suprise me at all that it totally shows physically as well. You have a wonderful inner light. AL is the master of darkness and just shrouds our lives if we let him. Let the light shine through! Better to see that bed head!

Free Bird I do think that being mentally ready to quit is a critical part of this battle. At an AA meeting yesterday, one of the old timers said that staying sober is a matter of always wanting sobriety more than we want to drink - one day at a time. I suppose there is a part of me that will always hav the urge for a drink. Keeping at the forefront all the reasons that I want sobriety more than a drink makes sense to me.

LVT in the midst of that storm damage I'm sure it is difficult to be grateful for no tornados. You are doing a good job of that - hang in there! LOL don't boys LOVE dirty undies?????

Dill as much as relapsing is not something any of us would encourage, I think it's a part of the process. For me, I think I HAD to try the "now we can have just one..." thing just to know first hand what would happen. It was bad and the following 8 month struggle to get AF again is a HUGE deterrent now that helps me stay sober. Eventually you will get sick of relapsing and want to move forward to a different place in your sobriety. I have faith!! You should too!!

Hi Rustop. Sending you continued sympathies re the teens.

AFM you sound terrific! Glad you are enjoying your AFness and packing a lot of fun and joy into these summer days. I bet Little AFM loves this side of you!

Went to my leads group meeting today. Lots of people were gone on vacation but still we passed a lot of leads are shared some hope about the economy. The sun is out today but the temps are mild - what a beautiful day! Later this morning I will be off to an AA meeting and then to the gym for a lower body workout. Then I hope to spend a little time in the garden this afternoon weeding and checking on things. I think the turnips are getting close to ready. I also meant to plant more beets and forgot. I have lettuce coming out my ears right now so I think a big salad is on the horizon for lunch!

Life is so simple and so good. Al can stay in his dark hole today.

DG

[dill]

AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

Freebird, I didn't mean to skip you earlier! I didn't see your post until just now. I totally agree that 'deciding' is a process in itself. Even folks who have faced dire consequences due to their drinking don't suddenly decide to quite, I don't think. I know what you mean about the cravings. I think after day 4-5 the physical need is over. At least for me. But the mental cravings! Sometimes my mind conjures up this perfect image of...well, It's just amazing. It's a visual memory from 3-4 years ago that is very strong and when it pops into my mind, it's hard to fight.

Hi Rusty! Do the teens know about MWO? Just curious. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

AFM, You DO sound great! So positive! I'm glad you are doing so well.

DG, I'm glad you liked the link! I think I just heard of the term "cougar" the first time a couple weeks ago. Is it a new term, do you think, or am I just out of the loop?! I'm with you on the Johnny Depp thing!:H

[hiddengoal]

AF Daily - Friday - June 12, 2009

Well, a bit late to finish this thread from yesterday.

Dill, DG, I appreciate your comments. I will take the time to read back and see what you are seeing. not as obvious from the inside, I guess. I am still waiting for the "you look great' and "your skin is amazing". Sorry to say I can't claim any of that yet! :H

I just appreciate all who've come before and have been vulnerable to show a way.