Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:
I'm just starting this thread quickly. I hope everyone had a healthy & sober weekend. Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

I'm back. Yes, the 4 PM meeting helped to keep me sober for the entire weekend. I'll be going to my women's meeting tonight. The bash was great, as was Father's Day which we celebrated w/our family & extended family. There was plenty of drinking at both events, but I didn't feel like I was missing out. In fact, on the way home on Father's Day, we were in the car w/our daughter & SIL. The g-sons had fallen asleep in the far back of the van. My husband & I were able to have a lively, intimate discussion w/our daughter & SIL about their feelings & plans for the future. This could NEVER have happened if I had been drinking. At the very least, I would have fallen asleep or have felt uncomfortable about possibly slurring my words. Instead, I was fully present & focussed. I went to bed last night feeling so grateful for my sobriety. My sponsor had told me how precious he felt his sobriety was. I now understand that whole concept. I didn't realize how much I missed out on when I was drinking.

The one low spot in the weekend was seeing my brother-in-law drinking. He has been struggling w/alcoholism for a long, long time. He's stopped at times & always seems to relapse. He had a horrendous incident last Christmas & stopped until quite recently. He drank moderately yesterday, but I know he'll go back to his previous levels of drinking...at least that's what happens to most people. His Mom & wife were there yesterday, & they both seemed ill at ease. I really felt for them.

Today, I'm feeling incredibly grateful for my sobriety. There really isn't any other way I want to live.

Mary

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Hi everyone. I am still buried in boxes packing up my house. We have already started to move some stuff over to the new house. I am so grateful that I am sober through this process. I have the energy to pack... I am in a good mood and being sober I am finding it easier to get rid of alot of things. It is now easier to "let go" of a lot more "stuff". I am still going to a meeting a day (except for yesterday...no time with Father's Day)

Thank you everyone for your contributions on this thread. It really has a lot of meat on the bone! And it is a pleasure to read. We are some intelligent, insightful people if I do say so myself!

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Mary, thanks for starting this.
Help! I am attending a cousin's wedding this weekend in Atlanta. Typically there is much drinking at these events. I don't want to share with everyone that I am attending AA meetings and all that. My plan is to drink club soda with lime so it looks like a drink.
Any ideas y'all?
Love and Peace,
Phil

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Ha! I went to a party this weekend where I didn't want to get into it and I drank a "mocktail" of club soda, cranberry juice and lime. Refreshing and no explainations needed.

[sunnydaz]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Good Morning all...I have a busy couple of days getting ready for vacation...I tend to be a procrastinator anyway.
As for the wedding Phil, what I have always heard is to have a back up plan in place. Your vehicle and plan just in case you need to leave. that always made me feel better knowing that before hand. That Mocktail sounds pretty good too.
Speaking of gratitude....I feel it now were before I didn't...I felt like I was giving something up...sure was...all that self destruction...but I thought that was fun then...I can't believe it.
Hope everyone has a great day...this is great to come too...I think I'm really going to like this...especially when I can't get to a meeting.

Sunnydaz (sober since Feb. 6, 2009)
smober since March 23, 2009

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Sunny: Your smober date is my sobriety date.
Phil: I've done a number of events sober & find it incredibly refreshing. No:
-fuzziness
-fatigue
-obsession
-hangover

Other than my husb & a few other people, I haven't told anyone about AA, not even my daughter. When the time is right, I'll reveal it...if it's appropriate.

I drink non-AL drinks, & no one seems to notice or care.

Take care of yourself any way you possibly can. This past weekend, just prior to going to a party, I went to a meeting. It seemed to cement the ideas in my brain.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Hello all! Mary thank you for getting us started today, and for sharing your experience from yesterday with your family. Your description of what it was like to be "present" for the lovely discussion with your kids and their future brought a tear to my eye. Those are the little things that are the meaning of life that I sometimes lose sight of. The story of your BIL touched me too - on the flip side I guess. I am very sure there were many, many family events where my husband and other close family were cringing as I drank - probably hoping they would get lucky and I wouldn't make an ass of myself. I am so glad to know that I'm no longer putting my loved ones through that stress.

Phil, I second the motion for a good exit strategy as a key component of your weekend plan. It is also important for me, even after a year sober, to have a good solid plan for drinking events. Here is what I always plan in advance:

1. I eat before I go - I am less likely to get cravings on a full stomach. I do this even if a fabulous dinner will be served later.
2. I plan ahead of time what I will drink, and this is IT. (PP that mocktail sounds good!)
3. Exit strategy. I will leave before I cave in, no matter what. If that means I need to "prep" people for it by saying I feel a touch of the flu or whatever, that's what I do. I have to put my sobriety first 100% of the time. I never leave myself in a situation where I don't have transportation at a drinking event.

Can you get a list of AA meetings in Atlanta? Maybe there is a meeting you could go to before the drinking activities start just to shore it up?

Hope those ideas help and I'm sure more folks will be along with other ideas. WE CAN DO THIS!!

PP you sound great with your move! Times like these can sometimes either be complete drudgery or they can be exciting - a fresh start. Sounds like you are taking the positive view!

Sunny it's great to have a fellow AAer here! I love both MWO and AA support. Sounds like you've had some experience with AA and I look forward to hearing more once you are back from vacation!

Yesterday's meeting was good - I really like the 12 & 12 meetings. Yesterday we talked about tradition 4 which says "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole." I thought of some of our recent discussions hear regarding how people introduce themselves at meetings, and all of that. To the degree a particular group meeting "requires" a particular style of introduction, that is something that is "group conscience" (decided upon by that particular group) rather than any sort of AA "rule." At the particular Club location where I attend meetings this 12&12 meeting group sometimes gets criticized because we don't do any of the readings that other meetings do to start, and we do the 3rd step and 7th step prayers instead of the serenity praryer and lord's prayer to open and close the meetings. But that too is stuff that is "group conscience." I have heard of other meetings where hats must be removed, etc. etc. That too is "group conscience" rather than AA rules. AA doesn't have much by way of rules - the only thing governing the operation of groups is the 12 traditions.

I am continually amazed by the survival of this organization considering the very minimal "structure" to it. I shake my head thinking back to corporate life and the many many policy manuals that everyone thought were necessary to run things. Maybe less is more if the "less" consists of the truly most important stuff.

Anyway, I love learning about that aspect of AA.

DG

[DriftyAlison0]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

I going be sober this week.

One day at a time.

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Happy June 22 week all.
Mary thanks for starting this thread and sharing your discussions with family. It is amazing how clear our heads are AL free and the fact that we can remember conversations the next day!
PP good luck with your move.
Phil, you have gotten good advice about having a plan. Having a car to leave if needed and I love the "mocktail" idea. At the AA meeting yesterday we read from the Living Sober book, Article 26 on being wary of drinking occasions. It gives some good insight on what to expect and how to react in these situations. You might want to read it before you go.

Hi, DG, Drifty and Sunny.

Winefree

[Kayla]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Hi Mary, PP, Sunny, Phil, DG, Drifty and WFree,

Great to see all the chat up and running. Where are ya Cindi? Sure you'll be showing up soon.

Mary, I so relate to what you expressed about the preciousness of sobriety. That it is so hard to achieve at times, for me reinforces just how much it truly means. Like you with your family talk, I've been connecting in all sorts of full moments with those around me, from my grandsons to my kids and cats, and feeling a new kind of enthusiasm. In-flow with life.

I too have been tapping into the gratitude train. Sitting in the detox centre y'day waiting for my fortnightly appt with my D & A counselor, feeling so grateful that I have access to good quality socialized medicine. I lived in the US for 2 years with no insurance, so believe me I have never taken health care for granted ever again. Having access to these services, I'm sure, has literally saved my life.

Phil, sounds like you've got a basket of strategies your way! Loud echoes from me on the exit plan. When the voices and the laughter start to get to a certain level (peak dis-inhibition from AL time) that's your cue to bow out. Any kudzu available? Get it in your system ahead of time. Enlist support, let someone know you want to avoid drinking. Too easy to let yourself slip through the net when it's only YOU to be accountable to! DG's right on the food score: full tummy= less likelihood of a buzz = less chance of chasing one. Sandwich a meeting in. Worth writing your intentions out on a index card too, and into the top pocket with that one. Best of luck. Believe you can do it.

Yay Drifty! Plenty of AFs and ABs here - you're in good company!

I'm travelling okay so far, although in and out of rapid cycling through hypomania. Bit hard to slow down at times, agitated and speedy, and not really wanting to take the meds unless absolutely necc. Got through a very stressful evening of calls to London last night. Mum trying to discharge herself from the disability home. Went into full-on damage control after a very heated exchange with her about it. Long, long-distance call with her social worker trying to sort out how we're going to handle this. I felt sad for her - knowing she wants to go home, and needs closure. By the time my husb came home from playing music, I was a ball of anxiety. But absolutely no inclination to drink right now.

DG you sound like you're getting a lot out of your immersion in the nuts and bolts of AA. Likewise and I'm finally starting to network with others who are practicing abstinence. This is key for me, a reminder strategy that I'm not someone who can drift back to pseudo-mod drinking. I know all this is one day at a time, and that's really working for me, but I notice part of my cautious mind wondering how to ensure long-term recovery. I don't want to get a good way into sobriety (HP willing) only to 'forget', slip into complacency and think I'm 'all fixed now' (Been there before). So for me, I need the 24 hrs + a long-term recovery-focused mind this time.

Finally, wanted to share this. Beginning of last year my counselor stated that whether or not I felt I needed abstinence from AL, he felt my marriage needed it. Well clock this. Remember how I mucked up my June 1st start date? Meaning my new start date was my wedding anniv last Wed. How's that for symbolic?!

That's enough from me for now. Looking fwd to checking in on this wks thread with you all x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

What a lovely, positive posts on this thread! I went to my women's meeting & really enjoyed it. I again saw someone from the outside (a young mom from a story group I used to attend my #2 g-son). I actually felt almost proud to be there. I think the feeling was: "I had a problem & instead of just letting it go on & on, I did something positive about it." I had to leave early, so I didn't get to talk to her.

Today is month 3 for me. 3/23/09 is my sobriety date. I'm going to one of my regular meetings tonight & will get a chip. I'm looking forward to it.

Phil: I had forgotten about the Living Sober book. It was written quite a while ago, & you might know much of what it suggests. However, it's good to have & review, especially right before the wedding.

I must admit that socializing sober is different. For me, there was always the focus on getting & drinking my first drink. That kind of superceded everything else. Now, I have nothing to dull the edges when I first go into a party. It takes a while to get accustomed to going through the first few minutes sober. Also, the lulls in conversations isn't now taken up w/getting another drink. I guess what I'm saying is that it takes some adjustment to go through a whole evening completely sober. I will say that it's completely worth it, & the next day is so gratifying.

Take care everyone.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Mary, congrats on 90 days. You are an inspiration to me.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Thank you dear Phil. I hope you're doing well. Mary

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Happy Birthday Mary!
I had 5 months Sat The time has flown by. Who would have ever guessed the monkey would be off my back so simply. Getting ready to start my 4th step. Now that the obsession is gone, it's time to do some weeding. And lots of growing up to do too.
Love hearing all your stories.