Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Happy Birthday Mary AND Oky!!

It makes me feel so good to see your successes.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Everyone: I just got back from one of those really moving speaker meetings. I most identified with:
-not being able to stop on my own.
-thinking I could drink mod after a period of abs.
-saying: "Never again." Then going right back to it.
-relapsing, relapsing, relapsing until finally saying: "I can't do this on my own."

I did pick up my 3 month chip. It's incredibly moving to go up there, receive it, & then have all the guys shake my hand & tell me how proud they are after the meeting. It's what keeps me going on into sobriety (one day at a time).

Cindi: Thank God you never give in to this disease. Please come here to this thread & share about your meetings & progress. I must admit that one of the promises ("you'll feel a new freedom & a new happiness") has actually come true for me now that I've completed my 5th step. I have a very healthy fear of AL, but I feel more & more comfortable in my sobriety as time goes on. I'm sharing a little bit at most of the meetings I go to. I'm the secretary of the Thurs. night group. I'm doing exactly what my sponsor tells me to do...no questions asked. I haven't been going to any of the other threads lately. I'm pretty wound up w/my parent stuff, & the meetings take a big chunk of time. But, I love this thread & will not forsake it for anything.

Take care. I'll check back tomorrow.

Love, Mary

PS: Can you tell I'm pretty high on sobriety?
PPS: Okey: Great congrats for you. Don't be intimidated by step 4 or 5. It was the housecleaning I really, really needed. After step 5 something shifted. No drinking thoughts whatsoever are happening.

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Wow OKY and Mary, congratulations on your extended sobriety. I have many AL thoughts tonight, but will not pick up(well can't really since no AL in the house). I wouldn't anyway since I am so close to 60 days and am determined to get there. ODAT and phone calls if needed. I WILL DO THIS.

Winefree

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Hi everyone! So great to pop in and catch up on everyone's posts.

:yougo: Mary on 90 days and your wonderful chip experience!
:yougo: Okey on 5 months and the kickoff of "growing up!" (I too feel ready for that! )
:yougo: WF on keeping that 60 days in sight and not letting go!!

As far as anniversaries go, an amazing thing happened yesterday. I was sitting in an AA meeting and they asked "any anniversaries in the past week...?" I was not able to get to a meeting on Monday and I thought for a minute, and realized Monday was my 13 month anni, but I never even thought about it on Monday. That is HUGE for me. When I first started getting sober I counted days and sometimes partial days LOL! (Day 1, Day 1 1/4, Day 1 1/2....) At some point I sort of lost track of days naturally and drifted into months. But I was always very aware of the 22nd of the month coming up. This is the first time I haven't thought about it ahead of time or felt the "anniversary thing" on the day of. YEAH!!!

Yesterdays meeting was very good for me as the guy chairing has a brother that was in the hospital and due for a serious surgery yesterday afternoon. But he was still there chairing the meeting despite his understandable worries. We ended up having a really good group discussion about the progression of life to death, and all the good and bad that happens in between. All of that is just the stuff of life. It will never go away. We can't expect things to be perfect if we stay sober. We can't afford to wait for things to be perfect to GET sober. All of the good and bad of life is something we need to learn how to just deal with and accept. Given things with my Dad and trying to keep my brother resentments at bay (sometimes more successful than others!) this was a timely discussion for sure. I am grateful for these people and the things I am learning about how they deal with life - sober and facing things. Not hiding in the bottle.

I also had a good talk with my sponsor. This might seem an odd subject, or maybe not. We talked about our natural desire to be "liked" and accepted by "everyone" and also how we feel inside when we realize there is someone around us that we don't particularly like. My natural instinct is to go overboard trying to be liked and accepted - I need to not worry about that. Also, if I encounter someone that I just don't really gel with, I need not go overboard in my head coming up with 10 trillion things about that person not to like - to justify my not liking them. (don't take their inventory and stop judging!) It's OK to not like absolutely everyone and it's OK if some folks don't care for me. Another acceptance thing!

Kayla I loved reading your latest post. It sounds like you are making really good choices for yourself and moving forward on this sober path. Love it!

WF - what a victory over AL last night. Winning the war takes winning each battle that comes along. Being prepared to use those phone numbers if you needed to was a good reminder that I must keep that strategy close at hand. I know it's an important tool and one that I don't use enough.

Welcome Drifty and hello to Phil and Cindi and anyone I have missed! Have a wonderful day all.

DG

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

retteacher;642519 wrote: I'm back. Yes, the 4 PM meeting helped to keep me sober for the entire weekend. I'll be going to my women's meeting tonight. The bash was great, as was Father's Day which we celebrated w/our family & extended family. There was plenty of drinking at both events, but I didn't feel like I was missing out. In fact, on the way home on Father's Day, we were in the car w/our daughter & SIL. The g-sons had fallen asleep in the far back of the van. My husband & I were able to have a lively, intimate discussion w/our daughter & SIL about their feelings & plans for the future. This could NEVER have happened if I had been drinking. At the very least, I would have fallen asleep or have felt uncomfortable about possibly slurring my words. Instead, I was fully present & focussed. I went to bed last night feeling so grateful for my sobriety. My sponsor had told me how precious he felt his sobriety was. I now understand that whole concept. I didn't realize how much I missed out on when I was drinking.

The one low spot in the weekend was seeing my brother-in-law drinking. He has been struggling w/alcoholism for a long, long time. He's stopped at times & always seems to relapse. He had a horrendous incident last Christmas & stopped until quite recently. He drank moderately yesterday, but I know he'll go back to his previous levels of drinking...at least that's what happens to most people. His Mom & wife were there yesterday, & they both seemed ill at ease. I really felt for them.

Today, I'm feeling incredibly grateful for my sobriety. There really isn't any other way I want to live.

Mary

hi teach even in sobriety we worry , its in our nature,odd how someone elses doings can effect us so much

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Hi DG: Congratulations on your 13th month. What a wonderful achievement. I know what you mean by the counting not having as much significance. I used to fill in DrinkTracker & calendar. It was a ritual I needed in the beginning. My anniversaries are important, but the ODAT philosophy is taking hold.

I forgot to mention a guy who shared last night. He got sober 15 yrs ago in 1994. Just recently, he thought he was "cured." He started drinking again, & within 3 days he was back to drinking in the AM. It amazes me the hold AL & denial can have, even after 15 yrs.

DG, I call my desire to be liked people-pleasing. That's a term I've heard around the "rooms." I think it was definitely one of the triggers for my drinking. I even made my husb (a naturally likeable guy) an extension of myself. If I thought someone didn't like him, I took it personally, & again used it as an excuse to drink.

Take care one & all. Tonight will be one of those rare nights when I don't go to a meeting.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Gyco: We cross-posted. Yes, it is odd. I think that I have to watch out for anything that takes the focus off myself & my sobriety. My BIL is doing what he needs to be doing to progress along his own path. He's got a higher power & that is not me. Thanks for the reminder. Mary

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

any time i beleeive that is why im here and if i stik my foot in my mouth i wil be told only cause u care

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

teach = you teach me a lot , a goal is for all =but we set are own goals and calculate , Annalise does it matter as long as were not in a d...... stuper are we not ok ,yes , my dear teach ,you are an inspiration to all gyco

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Hi again all! Gyco it is always good to see you and *hear* your comments - you have a lot of experience with AA and I appreciate that wisdom you bring.

Mary, I find it really humbling to hear about how truly cunning, baffling and powerful AL is. Still lurks in the shadows even after many years. I NEED to hear these stories on a regular basis lest I ever be tempted to make the mistake *again* of thinking I am "cured." Thank you for sharing!!

Today was a meeting where my awareness was heightened. This is the meeting I am to begin chairing next week, so today I sat up front next to the outgoing chairperson so I can see the reference materials for the agenda (I'm glad it's written down as I'm sure I will be nervous and would forget even after attending so many times!). In addition to just guiding the readings and then giving a lead to kick off discussion, I have to start the basket going around and then put the money in an envelope and turn it in, and sign everyone's forms who is there by court mandate. I have to get our stuff out including the anniversary coins and put it all back away after the meetings so I have a key now and learned where that stuff goes. Anyway....

This was one of those meetings where there was very little discussion about drinking and LOTS of discussion about the stuff of life. One woman described some challenges she is having with a son. At a later point, I man empathized with her from the son's point of view, and said how much it meant to him on occassions when he and his own Mom were having problems but she would make a point of telling him she loved him anyway. It was very touching and a good example of how these meetings often go far, far beyond just "how to not drink" and see how the group can offer up some really practical advice when the chips seem down. I'm glad to know these people are there for me. I never understood why people keep going for years and years but I'm beginning to have a start of an understanding to what the "Fellowship of AA" is really all about.

With that, I am off and running for more errands and so forth this afternoon. Hope everyone is having a good day. I hope to come back later and post on the Daily thread as I know some folks have shared kind words about my Dad's situation and I need to say thanks! (so thanks in case any of you are reading here, and I promise to say it in the right place eventually!)

DG

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Just a quick check in. DG congratulations on your 13 months. Outstanding That is only a distant dream for me and I need to keep it in ODAT right now.

Mary it amazes me how many who go back out say it only takes a brief while to go right back to where they left off drinking or even worse. Baffling for sure.

I too am surprised about the fellowship and wondered why so many AA's keep returning.
If they weren't there to share their stories with the newcomers, there would be no fellowship. I can see that now. I truly enjoy listening to their stories and wisdom, since most meetings I still have trouble speaking and mostly do a lot of listening. So I am glad they are there.

Winefree

[Kayla]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Top job on the b'days/anniversaries, and great going WF!

Getting a lot out of your feedback on what's happening at meetings - esp. as I haven't been able to go for four days now. Combination of kids, life, busy husb, new puppy ... and I'm feeling it. Was hoping to scoot along today but didn't work out. So hard to make those calls. But yes, even w/only three consecutive w/e mtngs, I can see how the fellowship aspect takes hold.
BFN x

[dill]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Hello everybody, I am going to take a break from lurking and jump in here. I mentioned awhile back that I intended to try AA once I got some time off and could explore it. Well, I attended my first AA meeting last week, and then returned to the same meeting this week. I am not sure if it will work for me. It's not that I don't like the meetings. I am impressed by the meetings and how well they are run. It's a very supportive environment. I didn't speak at the meetings other than to introduce myself. They were O D meetings. I noted that there were predominantly more men than women and that in the two hours of meeting time combined, only three women spoke. I learned something at each meeting. My particular problem is that I live in a rural area and meetings are not close at hand by any means. This group is not a good fit for me, but it is the most convenient time/place. I couldn't find any women's meetings in comfortable driving distance. Other meetings in my area are in the evening (7 or 8pm) and I do not like to be out and about in the evenings. I prefer a 4 pm or a morning time. I'm not quite sure where I will go from this point.

The thing that stuck with me from the first meeting was something one of the women said in response to the discussion topic brought up by a fellow re: a friend of his that had been sober for years that was talking about "going back out". He was really bothered by it, naturally, and wanted to talk about it. This woman was the first to respond and she brought up the quote about AL being 'cunning, baffling and powerful', but she added that it's more than that; that it is also 'patient'. Yes, I think we can all relate to that.

I have been listening to my AA speaker podcasts. (I think it was Lucky that told us about that) I especially enjoyed the one by Bill Wilson speaking on the history of the Big Book at a meeting in Akron OH back in the 60's.

OK, back to the shadows I go!

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

Fireworks at the morning AA meeting

Greetings all,
I have been attending a 630am meeting this week. It has been really good.
Today was really exciting. After the preamble and all that the chair asked if anyone had a topic. Here is how it went:
Ron : " I've been reading this book by Max Lucado, and this part here about King David really speaks about resentment. I'd like to read that now".
Michael: "Please don't".
Ron:"Well then why don't you start?"
Michael: The traditions of AA speak very clearly about bringing outside literature to the meeting".

At this point, Ron picks up his book heads out the door, Michael says "Please don't leave", Ron says "asshole", Michael says "I love you and God loves you".
Ron leaves the meeting.

It made for a great meeting, especially for a newcomer like me. And we did talk about resentment.
Hope y'all have some excitement in your day.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 22 - 28

WF, that's what I keep hearing as well - no matter how many years of sobriety someone puts in, if you are addicted then drinking again will quickly go back to the old levels and then some. That was certainly true for me after 60 days sober, then trying "a drink" (ya right) nearly 2 years ago. I just don't want to ever forget how that went, as I'm sure it would go exactly the same way if I were to try it again no matter how much sober time passes.

PUPPY??? Did someone say PUPPY??? Kayla where are the pictures?????

Dill I'm so glad you decided to post. I don't blame you for not wanting to force yourself to attend a meeting where you are not comfortable. I can also relate to not feeling enthusiastic about evening meetings - the way my days are structured and just my body clock, I don't care for evening meetings either. (nothing to do with the people or anything, just the timing) Has anyone here ever tried on-line meetings? I have a hard time imagining that after the face to face thing, but I've never tried!

Phil, that sounds like a very interesting meeting! Resentments indeed! I love studying the traditions. It's amazing how only 12 of them seem to keep that ship afloat and provide guideance for nearly any situation. The traditions are sort of like the US constitution. The really really importation foundations are covered there, and all else is left to the states which in AA, I think is like the group conscience.

Today's meeting was another good one. It was based on today's 24 hour reading and ended up as a discussion of our weaknesses (i.e. alcohol addiction / obsession and even more generally, the self centered thinking and doing that comes with it) and how over time, we grow and change in AA. There were some really good stories and of course some realizations on my part.

I am still so new at this I've certainly mastered nothing. But what I realized today is that I am at least more aware of my self centered thinking and actions. I might not be fast enough to stop myself from saying or doing the wrong thing, but at least I'm starting to realize - sometimes fairly quickly - what I'm doing that is wrong toward others. Before, I was just up on my high horse being right and righteous at all times - everyone else is wrong - now let's have a drink. It's good to reflect upon the positive changes and know that there is more to look forward to. Those occassional moments of doing the right thing with the right mind set (expecting nothing in return) sure bring on serenity.

I'm having one of those random happy days that are so nice. I'm grateful for that! I hope all of you are having a good day. Strong vibes out to anyone who is struggling today with alcohol or with life.

DG