AF Daily - Saturday June 27

[Doggygirl]

Hello all. I am once again woefully behind with what's goin' on around here. But I think of you all every day even if I don't get to post and you all are such a big help to me in my sober journey. I can't thank you enough for just being here and being supportive. I will try to get caught up a bit over the weekend but wanted to make a special welcome back to MM and congrats on Day 7. Good to have you back on this ol' wagon! Congrats to everyone else who has celebrated milestones this past several days that I might have missed.

HG I did read one of your posts as I was skimming around that hit home to me. You were talking about building an AF life where AL just doesn't fit - or at least that's how I interpreted what you said. You specifically mentioned your 17 mile bike ride after dinner (you have my utmost respect!) v. having wine with dinner where the bike ride would not have happened. I find this to be a very interesting point - part of the forest we don't always see for all the trees. Whether one is addicted to AL or not, AL affects our lives if we choose to drink with any frequency. AL and "action" just don't really go together. AL goes more easily with sitting around shooting the breeze or otherwise being inactive. (as much as I used to tell myself I needed some AL to motivate me to do something - what a crock!!). So depending on what a person really wants out of life (i.e. the type of active life that includes a bike ride after dinner v. the type of life that involves being more sedentary) AL may not have a place, addiction or not.

I long ago gave up the mental argument in my own head over whether I'm *really* an alcoholic (addict - whatever term you want to use) or not. So AL is not an option if I am to go on living at all. But even for my "normie" Mr. Doggy, he's way to busy with activities to have much time for AL. Back when he smoked pot though (he smoked a LOT) he had the same issue - pot didn't go with an active life - it went with a sedentary life and nothing got done - responsibilities OR hobbies. Now that he is rid of that problem, he is very active as I believe we are meant to be.

Anyway, that's my long musing after reflecting on HG's post about that bike ride! Here is to an active AF day day for all - without the chains of AL to bind us and hold us back. LIVE!

DG

PS - I'll have to post a piccy of my garden so you will see one of the things that has kept me "active" lately!!

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Good morning all!

Thanks for mentioning the 'mental arguement' thing DG!
I've come to realize that my arguement is over as well. AL is simply not an option anymore. I'm still having a wee fight with the nicotine demon but with 39 NF days under my belt - I'm determined to become the winner there too

I'm off to my garden as well. My 50 ft. row of raspberries is screaming to be picked - so many berries!

Have a great weekend.

[hiddengoal]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Happy Weekend AFreedom Riders!

I am jealous of all of you spending time in your gardens...I used to do that a lot, but it just doesn't fit in right now...I have a few flower beds in dire need of weeding, actually. Thank goodness the Peonies, Iris, and Lillies still bloom, in spite of neglect. Actually, in spite of the Deer, who are getting way too comfortable coming right up to within one foot of our windows as they graze all my Hostas! I need a few of you target practice folk to come harvest your dinner......

Activity - thanks DG, for capsulizing that thought. That is what I love about all these threads and thinking - people highlight and add so much to one another. There is a book my hubby read (I am still reading) called "Younger Next Year" where the premise is that if you are not being active, you are losing time here. The two authors believe you have to be using your body, intensely, every day, to keep everything working properly. I haven't gotten very far into the book, but its rather convincing.

Anyway, Ditto on the Active Weekend and Active Lifestyle!! I like that word, active....thanks DG, I will keep that on my mental 'desktop'.

[meditation mama]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Good morning!

Thank you, DG! You are truly my inspiration right now. We started and stopped this together a few times. I am so proud of you. I am very happy to be through week one - week two here I come!

I also can defiantly relate to the sloth/AL connection. It is so funny how many things go by the wayside when AL is the focus. I look around my house and see an organized mess. I mean, on the surface my place looks neat and clean. The yard is maintained, the dishes are in the dishwasher, etc., but if you really pull back the covers or open the closet doors, there are messes. Piled up messes. When AL is the focus I hide things so I don't have to deal with them. I am good at organizing messes just enough so I can keep up the appearance of a neat and tidy house.

Yes, it is also a metaphor for ME, too. I keep up appearances, but pull back the covers and I am a mess - WHEN I AM DATING AL. Work, caring for my child, tending to my house, dealing with finances; they are organized with JUST enough effort it takes so I can drink. It is exhausting and unsettling. I am an organized person, so this half-hearted situating builds up and makes me crazy, adding fuel to my drinking fire. It is a vicious circle. I can go even deeper within me, but I think I will wait a few days for that one..

I can also relate to the inactivity when fully engaged with AL. I kept up my daily workouts and activities for a while, but then it just got in the way. I didn't want to go out and do anything active in the evenings because I waned to relax with Al, and I certainly didn't want to get up in the morning because I was tired. Again, a vicious cycle.

Last night I also went for a bike ride. Just a little cruise because of my cracked rib, but I went out and loved it! With Al, I would have used my rib as an excuse to lay low.. sloth.

Thanks for the topic today, DG. You are a rock star!

I'm off to WALK to get a cup of coffee and read the paper, then play in my garden.

Day 8!

Namaste, my dear friends.

MM

[dill]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

DG, thanks for starting us off! You mentioned activity as being essential to an af lifestyle, also the reward of an af lifestyle. Good food for thought, as simple as it may seem. I have been watching my peers (late 50's, early 60's) both drinkers and non, and I am seeing the difference activity makes in everyone's life in terms of keeping fit and healthy and mobile. I am definitely going to "Keep swimming, keep swimming..." as Dorie (Finding Nemo) would say! On a separate matter, I have a question re: Mr. Doggy. Was quitting pot as difficult for him as quitting al for you? Did he turn to any support groups either on line or 3D? I don't know, but I never thought of marijuana as being physically addictive like al is. (at least it wasn't for me!)

Lav, I am going to hit the berry patch, now that you have inspired me! We have some domestice plants, but just planted them this year. However, Mr. Dill has found a great patch of wild raspberries. I'm going to follow your example and pick as many as possible and freeze them until I know what we want to do with them! Congrats on your 90 days af and your 5+ weeks nf. You amaze me!!

HG, Mr. Dill and I read that book a few years ago and thought it was fabulous. It is mostly written for men, but I think I read somewhere that those authors wrote one for women as well. I haven't checked that out as of yet, but maybe I shall. Oh, and I did get my bike road-ready! It just needed brake work and a few other little things, plus some rust removal and cleaning. It's good to go now! I'm going to try it out on the local bike trail today or tomorrow.

Well, back to 3D living now!

[dill]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Hi, MM! Cross-posted!

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Good morning everyone!

Dating AL is exhausting. I only did the bare minimum at best when I was a daily drinker. I don't miss that lifestyle. It is rewarding to be sober in so many ways. I love my life. It is filled with joy in just about everything. I love waking up with a spring in my step instead of reaching for the Advil and water!

I feel very blessed to have put the beast in the cage. I get some thoughts about AL, like yesterday. But I know it was only because I didn't eat breakfast and it was after lunch that I had a sandwich and felt immediately better. If ya keep me fed, I don't give AL much of a thought!!

I am on week 4 of no smoking as well. I don't miss that dirty habit either. Since I have been out jogging most evenings; I have found giving up the smokes pretty easy this time around. I also have done it cold turkey this time. I know that the Wellbutrin is helping with it as it is used as a smoking cessation aid amongst other things.

I am feeling pretty great these days. Now only if my face would stop breaking out. For some reason I am getting a couple of zits on my forehead and my chin that are deep and sore. I can cover them up and so on. I know it is my body detoxing all of the crap; but it is annoying! I am drinking tons of water and water with lemon.... but I wish I could find a magic cure.

Any who.......... we are off to the water park later today.

Have a great day you all! xoxo

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Happy Saturday ABeroooooos!

Doggygirl, there you are! I'm in admiration of you, Lavande and the rest of the gardeners.

also a big shout out to all of you successfully kicking the nicotine! you have more willpower than our president by the way.

I'm a firm believer in activity and challenging our body and mind in new and interesting ways. When we become sedentary of mind or body we really start to age more quickly.

off to peel some garlic for breakfast......

be well everyone!

[Loppy lugs]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Hi all

Lots to think about from your posts. Think I am stuck somewhere in inbetweenie land. I am still kicking myself for falling off the wagon at the end of january but at the same time thinking that I was avoiding issues when I was trying to keep sober and they have to be addressesed if I am going to hold onto my sanity.

Anyway getting help on Tuesday and looking forward to it but have a black tie function tonight which is giving me the eegie beegies even thought I really like my dress. Not wearing magic knickers, because although not thin...... can't be arsed....

Have a great weekend. don't know what the weather is like the other side of the pond but here it is beautiful bbq weather.

This will sound stupid but was having a bit of a painic attack when I logged on but I can now breathe ok... You lot are the best.

Take care all. Will log on when I get home and tell you how I coped.

[hiddengoal]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Good luck tonite Loppy - everyone here says to have a plan...in my 10 weeks AF, I have yet been to a 'social engagement' and been around drinking. Sad, truly, to not have a social life! So, I just know next weekend, with the 4th celebrating, there will be times. So, I am trying to think ahead how I will handle that, bring my other beverages along, etc.

MedMa, the metaphor of house and hiding is amazing....since I went AF this time, that has been my theme! I have been keeping a blog here, and many of my early posts were all about that, pulling back the covers, coming out of hiding, what am I really avoiding? And then the sorting, mucking out of my closets and my mind. Its been a real trip. Some days, I am all "Bring it on" - just want to tackle everything and others days I feel overwhelmed with all I have let go and need to sort. So, I believe with AL we are giving ourselves permission to avoid - to push things back and not deal. Time to deal the cards, Blanche! That's the theme now.

Let's keep these things on top of the stove and not smoldering in a cold oven - yea for AF!

Good Day!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Hi again all. Loppy, good luck with your function tonight!

Dill, Mr. Doggy and I just recently spoke about the addictions we've dealth with between us which include nicotine (both of us have quit smoking) AL (me) and pot (him). One of the things we mused about was that nicotine seems to grab essentially everyone - nearly everyone quickly becomes addicted. Of these 3 it seems AL is next in the "addictive" line - I read somewhere that an estimated 12% of AL drinkers become addicted. I've never seen any studies on pot which would probably be very difficult anyway since it's illegal and people are quiet about it. But we think the number of pot smokers who become addicted (go nuts if they can't smoke daily) is probably lower than AL. I smoked my fair share back in the college days but never even thought about it unless I was at a party and the bong was being passed. (now alcohol on the other hand......) For Mr. Doggy it was the opposite.

As far as quitting, that is interesting as well. When I quit nicotine I found a support forum (actually two) which really helped me. So when I decided I wanted to quit AL I did the same thing and found MWO. Mr. Doggy quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey with no face to face or on-line support and did the same with pot. So in that case, I don't think it's the substance that had much to do with the support needs - Mr. Doggy just does stuff on his own and can somehow manage to get 'er done that way.

LOL - treasure hunting (metal detecting) is a hobby of his. Toward the end of winter he hunts along the edges of parking lots where throughout the winter big piles of snow have been accumulated as the parking lots get plowed. People drop all kinds of stuff that end up in those piles. He hunts when it starts melting. On a couple of occassions last winter he was walking along and all of a sudden seen a bag lying on the ground. He said that was tough especially because it was unexpected. Probably like one of us walking alone along a forest trail and suddenly seeing an ice bucket with a cold bottle of wine in the middle of the trail. He didn't "bite" but said it was hard. He has also acknowledged that he benefits from pot not being such a "public" thing as AL - i.e. advertisements, liquor departments in stores, bars with neon signs, bars in the restaurants, booze at every business event, etc. AL is way more in our faces.

Anyway, those are some similarities and differences we have talked about. We are both so grateful and happy to be free. And we still can't believe we thought our respective substances were "stress relievers." We didn't realize how much stress these addictions and our addicted behaviours put on our marriage and our relationship until we finally got rid of it. Our house is about 100 times more peaceful now. Stupid arguments and defensiveness and other negative stuff used to be an almost daily (or many X a day) occurance and now there are times when we get through a whole week or more without any "garbage" to speak of. Life is good this way.

Hello to all who have posted and all yet to come. I'm heading back to the garden action!

DG

[speedster]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Hello to All!

DG - thanks for the great start. I'm having a very active week, with my brother visiting who likes to bike ride and trout fish. AL has not been a focus.

I picked another pound of green beans yesterday and corn was in at the farmers market. Thinking of grilling some squash and onions to go with it. Hubby & Bro are trout fishing, I hope they caught enough for dinner.

DET -- you asked about growing garlic. I planted it in late October and picked in mid-June. I will plant more and need to watch for the 'scape' that it puts off 2-3 months after planting. It's apparently a delicacy.

My routine should be normal next week and I can read and post more. My best to all of you!

[dill]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Hi Speedster! Good to see you!

DG, thanks for the detailed and thoughtful answer. It is interesting how we each find our own path. I have a brother that quit alc cold turkey. Last year when I started looking for ways to quit I tried to find out if hypno therapy would work. All the information pointed to hypnotherapy being successful for smoking cessation, but NOT for alc cessation. While doing that research I read somewhere that alc is one of the hardest addictions to quit, even harder than nicotine. I know that people get hooked on nicotine much faster than on al, but that doesn't mean the actual addiction is stronger, just quicker. Anyhow, it's all bad and all difficult to get free of! I can't believe Mr. Doggy had that temptation dropped right in his path! LOL! Good for him not letting put him off track!

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Saturday June 27

Speaking of pot. I really don't know many people that DON'T smoke it. I don't; it never appealed to me. It seems, however, that it is very common and it is weird if someone doesn't smoke it. In my city anyway.

Little AFM's dad was a chronic. An absolute chronic. I hated it. He was one of the most unmotivated, laziest people I ever knew. He was also an alcoholic; and the only reason I stayed the 4 years was that he enabled me and vice versa. Looking back, I honestly cannot believe how bad for me he was. He had absolutely nothing going for him. He had no drive to even work until the end, and he had no intellect. He always spoke of stupid shit.

I have done so much growing in the last year+ that I am quite impressed with myself. Not to pat myself on the back or anything. But I can really see these changes. I surprise myself sometimes.

Anyway, that is all I had to say on the pot subject. I think it is highly addictive. I also think that every human being has some sort of vice. It could be anything.

I am sunburn and tired. It will be an early night for us. It also started to rain outside and it is dark; so bed looks inviting.