AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

[speedster]

mark and run!

Good morning AF Land. I'm so happy to have a normal morning and not dealing with visitors. It was a good visit with my brother but I like my routine.

I read Macberry's post about her 1st month AF and it's truly inspirational. She really had a thorough plan setting out and has made incredible progress. Last night I also ventured into some other threads and read the post titled "enormously reflective right now" and it was also another fabulous story of success. If you're looking for some inspriration to start a new month, both are good reading material.

In Macb's post, she mentioned L-theanine. I do take and like L-glut but was not aware of L-theanine. I read a little about it and I may consider adding it. I'm out of kudzu and only taking L-glut.

Must take the pupster to his weekly romp at dog camp and swing by the chiropractor for a monthly adjustment. I will have a lovely AF day and I wish all that come the same.

[dill]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Hello Speedster and all to come!

Speedster, thank you for pointing me toward that post, "enormously reflective right now" as it was very inspirational and so real and truthful. I read the whole thing, and plan on re-reading it. As for the L-theanine, I have read about it, too, but I don't take it. In fact, I have gotten away from taking my supps. Perhaps I should get back on board with them as I have been struggling a bit lately.

I hope little speedster had a fun time at camp! I will take my two elderly ladies out for a walk later today if the rain clears up!

[Mstall]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Good morning Dill and Speedster!

Though it's a cloudy and raining day here this morning, my body and mind feel like it's sunny and bright!!

Beginning Day 4 AF and whether I sleep well or not, it's still better than the morning after hangover.

Wish all a good day and thanks for the heads up on the threads to read, the motivational ones really really help me.

Mstall

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Good morning friends! We had some rain last night, so I'm going to work a little bit around the house before heading to work today. I've done a little reading here and I don't think I will ever be able to completely leave this site. You guys are truly amazing! Pamina--I loved your post the other day. I'm always impressed with people that are so literate!

I told myself I wouldn't come on here and whine about my life or my hubby, but I'm afraid you might have to just put up with it once in awhile. Or, there is the ignore option, which I'm pretty sure some already use.
When we got home from baseball last night he acted like he must have drank about a 12 pack already. If I were my kids I would be so confused by that man's behavior. One minute he is all joking around having a good time, and the next he is hollering at them and chewing their ass. Granted, there are times when they need a little attention getter to motivate them to do their share around here, but the yelling makes me physically sick. I feel bad for them. And then, he starts in with the puppy. Of course he doesn't care for my training methods, so when he does pay attention to him it is in a totally different manner (when drunk) than I do. That poor dog is going to be pretty confused also! I try so hard to just ignore it, and let it roll off, but sometimes it is pretty hard living with Jekyll and Hyde.

DG--your garden really puts mine to shame--very nice! I'm afraid the weeds are outgrowing the plants in my rows--but this afternoon I'm firing up the tiller again!

You all have a great rest of the week, and a safe weekend! (I've never understood why they've made it ok for our children to play with fire and explosives once a year!) But I do know it is fun for them. Let's just say it's not my favorite holiday.:H

[meditation mama]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Good morning all!

There have defiantly been some inspirational post lately. I read MOW 6-month thread and plan to keep that one and re-read as often as I need to get to my first goal, which is 6 months. I have made it 3 months, but not 6. I really want to get to where MOW is. I think once you have that much time under you belt you start to see life without AL as normal. I would love to hear form any of our that have 6+ months!!

LVT - I'm so sorry about your husband. I am dealing with that from a far, thankfully, with my ex. My DD is the one on the other end of his roller coaster-like personality. That is exactly what I tell her to do; look at him like a roller coaster. I have given her a roller coaster as a metaphor for dealing with him. I explained that his moods are definitely effected by alcohol. That she need to pretend she is at an amusement park and WATCHING the roller coaster. Know that the ride will end (like in the morning), and understand how important it is to NOT get on that roller coaster. Watch from down on the ground. In other words, don't get attached to someone else's emotions. You cannot control anyone's emotional state, but you can control whether or not you attach to them. As adults we can talk to each other and tell each other when we are acting like complete asses, and when it is time to stop doing what we are doing. But the children are scared. They don't understand and it is our duty to reach them however we can. My DD loves roller coasters, so she got this analogy quickly and it made a big difference in how she deals with her Dad. I posted a thread in Generals from my daughter to her father. You may want to read it. It is a good perspective coming from a child's eyes. Sorry so long winded, but this is definitely a topic I feel strongly about. Good luck, darlin!

Well, I'm off to do like 300 Brazilian waxes today!! Ok, not 300, but I have a jam packed day. I guess it's really important to have your you-know-what coiffed for the 4th of July - whatever!

DG - Can I come live in your garden? I will take pictures of my measly garden this weekend. It's not much, but it is my first garden ever. My ex used to discourage my gardening, so of course that is exactly what I am doing.. heehee

Namaste, my lovelies!

MM

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Morning all!

Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadian friends!

We are going out to enjoy the festivities. It is going to be a warm one, so sunscreen is a defo must.

LVT, I am sorry you are dealing with Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. That has to be very trying. I close right down when there is conflict. Like you said; it makes me physically ill. I no longer have a husband but my mother is another story. She should NOT drink. I had a bit of an unpleasant experience with her on Saturday (yet again). This time it affected my daughter where my daughter was reiterating what my mother said. Not good. I won't be seeing her for a while. Time to put those boundaries back in place. I know that it is different for you as you are living with the man. Can you talk to him and let him know how you are feeling?

Well, I am off to shower and get motivated. The only thing that sucks about having a holiday in the middle of the week is having a holiday in the middle of the week.

Love to all! xoxo

[ready2change]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

ah, the "whys" of our drinking...

Happy Hump Day Abbers! I wanted to share this quote with you from the AA website daily reflections. I know alot of us wonder the "whys" of our drinking, me included. I found this very insightful. Hope you enjoy:

BELIEF

"Seek not to understand that you
may believe, but believe that you
understand."
--St. Augustine

For years I tried to understand my behavior around alcohol and I only
came away more confused. Sometimes my efforts to understand led
me into dishonesty and manipulation. I drank because I was lonely,
angry, happy, overworked or because I had problems with my parents.
You see, I tried to understand "why"!

Science has no definitive answer as to why some people are alcoholic
other than to postulate the disease factor, with the emphasized advice,
"Don't pick up the first drink." So today I don't understand why I am
an alcoholic. I also believe that I can never drink alcohol without
having alcohol problems. This cherished belief keeps me sober and
gives me a God I can understand; a life that I can love; and a world I
can live in.

Oh yes -- and I can remember where I have been today!

Help me to believe in what I know and to be content with the
imperfection of my knowledge.

R2C

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Happy Wed ABenators!!!

Speedster, interesting on the L Theanine, must look into that. I've recently acquired a protein powder that has (besides protein) 5,000mg of L Glutamine per serving as well as a very impressive array of aminos including theonine. I'ts my lazy way of getting a ton of macro and micro nutrients into one easy product. I throw that in the blender with some frozen blueberries and some water and that's it.

LVT, sorry to hear of your domestic challenges, strength be with you dear xxxxx

Mstall, love the 'tude!

MedMama, you wanted to hear from those with 6 months+. I'm somewhere around a year and 4+ months AF and totally in love with life.

be well my friends and all to come,

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Hi everyone! Thank you Speedster for getting us started today. Hey - is that Pupster's tongue sticking out in your avatar? (my eye sight ain't what it used to be...so I won't be shocked if you come back and tell me "WHAT??? That's a picture of my mother in law making a bologna sandwich" or something.... ) Interesting topic the Amino Acids. I still faithfully take my All One original which I think has a fairly decent amino content but a recent humongous test suggested I am generally low in my Amino Acid profile. So I dont' know if I have some sort of absorption problem or what. If anyone has ideas, I'm all ears (or eyes being that we're talking computer screens here!). I hope Pupster has fun at camp today!

Deter I'm interested in the name of whatever it is you are now taking, and how you came to decide on whatever it is if you don't mind sharing. I have been supplementing with some protein powder as I am a notorious breakfast skipper and I must stop that. I can handle a protein shake where I have trouble with eggs and bacon or whatever that early in the day. Thanks in advance! And congrats on 1 year + 4 months!! THAT ROCKS!!

R2C thank you for the quote you shared. I like that one. That made me think of a conversation Mr. D and I had while driving to visit my Dad last Sunday. We were talking about the circumstances in which people drink too much, with my point being - name a circumstance and I'll turn it into an excuse to drink. We sort of made a game of it - he would make up situations - some good, some stellar, some bad, some really bad. No matter what circumstances he made up, I shot back the explanation of why it was a good reason to drink. That "game" just solidified that as an addict, I can "justify" drinking in absolutely any circumstance - and that's exactly what I did for 30 years. The only "why" I can come up with for "why I drank" is that I'm addicted to alcohol. Therefore no amount of change in my circumstances will change my drinking - I just can't drink period. For me it truly was a relief when I finally reached the point where I understood that. At least that's my truth!

AFM I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your Mom last weekend. That must be so hard when a problem starts up and the little ones are there and you can't do much about it at the time. (and you too LVT!!) I can't blame you for not wanting to take Little AFM back into that since you have a choice in the matter. I hope you have fun today at the celebration!

MM - for me it was somewhere between 6 and 9 months that I realized I needed *more* of ?????? (something) to help me feel more secure in sobriety. I think I just still had a lot of alcoholic style thinking going on even if it was on subjects presumably not alcohol. At any rate, I felt like I had some level of fear that was borderline irrational about relapsing. That's when I decided to give AA a whirl and for me, it's helped. I like the study work and sharing that we do. The addition of AA to my personal program has truly gotten me to a point where I go for days and even weeks now with no urges or desires at all to drink. I still don't like being around drinking, but that's different I think than having urges (especially those strong kind that are more than just a passing thought).

MM, forgive my country girl ignorance here. Are Brazillion waxes the kind where EVERYTHING goes? Or nearly everything? Sounds like the vans 'll be a rockin' this weekend where you live.

LVT I am really sorry about the on-going issues with hubby. Please don't hesitate to talk about it here!!! We are hear to listen and at least be sounding boards for each other, right? IIRC you are in a small type community so I don't know if there are any local Alanon resources? Mary might have some ideas about whether there would be useful advice to help you deal with hubby(on-line if nothing live is available?). One of the gals I go to AA with is recovering herself (several years sober now) but her significant other has been having relapse issues recently, so she started going to Alanon and said at a meeting this morning that she is finding it helpful. It's a totally different POV from what I understand. Anyway....I wish you the best in sorting this out. Not easy with kids and all. Strength to you my friend.

Hi Mstall and congrats on finishing Day 3 and on to Day 4. :yougo: Hang in there!

Dill I really believe the supplements help. Nutritional deficiences cause all kinds of strange problems including cravings for stuff. Hope it helps you to get back to those basics!!

Well - it's been quite awhile from the time I started this post until now. Another one of those days! Mr. Doggy got home so I took advantage of the opportunity to go out to the garden while he could cover any phone calls. I can't believe it but there were two fully filled out cucumbers out there!! All I had noticed was little teeny baby ones a few days ago. These were hiding WAAAY underneath. Got more green & yellow beans and peas. I need to put a few things in the freezer as the fridge is getting backed up already.

Along our fence line wild blackberries grow. I picked a couple quarts of those too and now need to figure out what to do with them. I'm going on a hunt I think for a low carb berry cobbler recipe or something like that.

SOOO gotta run. You guys are the best. Happy AF day to all and hello to anyone I missed who posted since I started this reply and to all yet to come. Special hello to TG if you stop in. Hope you are working on a little YOU today!

DG

PS: Pamina that post you made the other day was child's play in terms of length. I hope nobody actually reads all of my posts. Well, it WOULD keep a person away from the booze for quite some time if they did I guess....

[AllApologies]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Hey all,

I'm sorry to here about your troubles with Mr.LVT, LVT. My fiance used to be the same, one moment sweetness and light, coudln't get enough of talkign to me and joking with me, the next everything I said was taken as a thinly veiled threat or insult. Thankfully he's gotten much better over the last year or so, a completely different man since he cut back on the demon AL - has given him a whole new perspective. Anyway, if you ever need to talk about family life and whatevers bringing you down, as everybody has said we're happy to try and help hwoever we can, even if it's just providing you with a place to vent those feelings.

And now to me: I'm doing well, sober again today, despite the marvelous beer drinking weather we've been having. Have been thinking alot about my current situation and ahve come to conclude that this time it is as if I am not truly battleing my drinking problem again, but instead my own reflexes to new and frightening situations (I have only once before been apart from my fiance this long). My aim therefore for this week is to work on this, to find a betetr way of reacting to this situation and tohers like it.

-TG

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

TG, once again I think you are showing remarkable wisdom and maturity for your age the way you have sized up your situation. Your future is very bright indeed. I think you are so wise to find better ways to face new and sometimes frightening circumstances than leaning on AL. Whatever methods you find that are productive and healthy well serve you will for many many years to come.

DG

[Pamina]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Evening all,

Great posts. I was going to contribute with great deep philosophical thoughts - thanks for the compliment LVT, I'm chuffed! But I had to clean up the kitchen after I forgot a bottle of Ame (bubbly fruit drink) in the freezer. It was only supposed to be there for 5 minutes but of course I forgot all about it, went into town for a colleague's leaving do, came back 6 hours later, opened the freezer door and had one amazingly quick reflex shutting that door when the bottle exploded in my face. There were still shards of glass all over the kitchen floor. Note to self: hold onto brain during heatwave.

It's now pretty late and bed is calling loudly. Be well everybody. Later....

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Pamina I would be sitting on the floor crying not wanting to clean up that mess! I am really glad you didn't end up with chards of glass in your face / eyes. At least I'm assuming you didn't! Hope tomorrow is a better day!

DG

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

Pamina, watch out for fruit juice grenades!

Dgirl, I am currently using a protein complex called "gold standard whey" made by optimum nutrition Optimum Nutrition, The Bigger Picture
I'm bummed it has 1 gram of sugar per serving but that's pretty low.
I have the vanilla and it's not too terribly wretched

they have a patented process for making the protein peptides into a lower molecular weight which makes them absorb more quickly into your system instead of being passed through to Mr Tidy Bowl.

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Wednesday July 1, 2009

May I add that Isopure Zero Carb is a good protein drink? I learned of it after my gastric-bypass. One serving has 50 grams of protein. I was able to drink a whole shake within a day at least and protein was critical during my recovery from the surgery.

I have started gaining weight since I have tried to quit drinking in January this time. It was frustrating to be gaining weight during sobriety and then still bingeing.

Hoping those days are over for good.

Currently, I am doing the high protein/low carb diet and it is helping me take off some of those lbs I gained. It would be horrible to have gone through that surgery and gain the weight back.

Oh, I guess I could exercise. :H:H

Hope all have had a wonderful AF day.

I am sober today. Yay!!
Love,
Cindi