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Whew...a first huge trigger, after 37 days AF

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    #1

    Whew...a first huge trigger, after 37 days AF

    Hi, everyone.

    I have been "keeping my eye on the prize" of health and harmony, through AF days, since June 1st. Yesterday was my biggest situational trigger to overcome/withstand yet. I had a nice dinner with a friend, who had wine...I didn't, but that didn't bother me. What was the challenge, however, turned out to be a spatial one: I had my condo to myself since I've become AF, and I love (sorry, but it is a certain kind of wacky love) to have wine while I sit quietly in my space, light some candles, and just remain "still." What is clear about me is this: I like to drink alone.

    I have had many opportunities socially these past 30+ days to have wine while out with friends. Frankly, keeping AF has been pretty care-free (the supplements I'm taking really do help the cravings!). Even the night before last, my husband and I were at a friend's house with another couple having dinner. Everyone had before dinner drinks, plus wine with dinner. I just kept to my Perrier and lime. No problem.

    But last night, it became abundantly clear that my preference and weakness for wine surrounds the solitude of my private space.

    I said a prayer, popped some popcorn and tried to watch an old movie, then...went to bed. Woke up today feeling rested, clear headed, and relieved I did not have the regret of bingeing behind me. My pattern in the past has been a bottle + 1/2 of wine an evening.

    So, I'm feeling humbled as well as happy right now. Also, I want everyone on this site to know how having this larger community of alcohol-aware-challenged people comforts and empowers me. Thank you.:thanks:
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    #2
    Whew...a first huge trigger, after 37 days AF

    Hey Mac:

    Congrats on both FINDING your trigger and on beating it, both at the same time. I think from doing a lot of reading of others' stories that is rare to be able to do both at the same time. Many find the triggers but it is through trial and error, stress the ERROR part of things.

    I am like you, my worst drinking times were when nobody was looking, and it felt like special time to take care of myself, do the "alone and thinking" thing. What a crock!

    Glad you are here, and congrats on the 37 days. :l

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      #3
      Whew...a first huge trigger, after 37 days AF

      well done keep up the great work you are doing it
      :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
      best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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        #4
        Whew...a first huge trigger, after 37 days AF

        Amazing how much clarity alcohol-free time brings. Great that you got through a strong trigger with such awareness. Keep going. It inspires us all to keep on trying x
        KAYLA

        Current attitude towards addiction: Why ask why? Just accept that it is, and go from there ...

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          #5
          Whew...a first huge trigger, after 37 days AF

          YEp, drinking alone was such an escape for me masqued as "time to relax and think". I do not miss it, but still have to watch the triggers.

          You've done an amazing job recognizing and dealing with the triggers. I recommend Emotional Alchemy and Drinking a Love Story. Very different books but both very motiviating, helpful.

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            #6
            Whew...a first huge trigger, after 37 days AF

            Good for you, mac! Well done on overcoming a powerful trigger. It's a very difficult thing to do, and if you've done it once, you can do it forever if you choose. Big pat on the back sent by express delivery
            Recovery Coaching website

            "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

            Recovery Videos

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              #7
              Whew...a first huge trigger, after 37 days AF

              Hi macberry,

              It does take some getting used to. I was all tense and worried around the time I usually drank (alone and usually listening to music). All it took was a simple change of routine. Now I just pick up a book and once I'm into it the urge has worn off and I'm relaxed again. I got to the point of getting things done so that I could settle down and read rather than drink.
              I'm glad that you stayed strong.
              That is what we all strive for.

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                #8
                Whew...a first huge trigger, after 37 days AF

                Hi Mac,
                Thanks for the post. I also have no problem pacing and drinking "normally" in social settings. My "pleasure" is derived from drinking alone. Which makes it worse for me - so hypocritical and sly. Arggghhh!!! I'm going to try Baclofen once I manage to get hold of it.
                So glad you got your mind to switch to making popcorn instead of drinking. And I love your expression: alcohol-aware-challenged- people. There are such a lot of talent on this site.
                make the least of the worst, and the most of the best - everyday.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Whew...a first huge trigger, after 37 days AF

                  Thanks so much, everyone, for your postings!

                  I so appreciate seeing the warm posted responses from everyone; I truly find a lot of strength in this community. :thanks: Also, thanks for the book recommendations, Speedster. I devoured Caroline Knapp's book when it first came out; I still return to it for wisdom and insight. I'm not familiar with Emotional Alchemy, though; so, I'm off to Amazon to check that out now! Hope everyone has a great weekend! Macbarry

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