Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

WF, it is good to hear that it gets easier with each passing day but you also seem to be very aware that you need to remain diligent to be free of the grips of AL. As for the 20 lbs/weight loss kick I think it is amazing how much we accomplish when we don't drink.

DG, I read your post right before I walked out the door and almost replied to ask you if you had relapsed since you had joined AA. I'm glad I didn't because driving to the meeting I was thinking about it and the reason I wanted to ask you that was almost so I could give myself permission to have a few relapses or slip-ups. This disease is so insiduous that even when you are trying hard on a conscious level to not drink your sub-conscious is plotting ways to make you fail. I also love and appreciate my friends here at MWO but I definitely needed the face to face contact because as Cinders mention in an earlier post women do tend to isolate. It was to easy to sit here on MWO and type with a gin and tonic by my side.

Tonight was only my 3rd meeting and my first time at this one. They asked me to read "How It Works" which really made me feel proud. I liked this meeting and will definitely go again as it is so close to my home. It is funny because a week ago at this time I was asleep in bed in a drunken stupor and the thought of attending one AA meeting was inconceivable to me and now I have been to 3 and I truly believe there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Ret, I hope you enjoyed your BB meeting tonight. I'm going upstairs now and read "The Solution". I read Bill W. story last night. You've given me thought about telling my story to myself. Even though I am so new to the program and haven't officially done any steps with a sponsor I guess I can start thinking about how I got to where I am today.

Thank you everyone. I can't believe I finally am able to join this thread.

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

Cuckoo,

I am thrilled for you. You and I have been fighting this long enough. It is time to take back our lives and start living the life we should.

Yes. I know what you mean about the insidiousness of this disease. I get the brain chatter, too. Luckily, I have been able to kick it to the curb for the last few weeks. It has been so wonderful to be sober for a good long stretch and know I want to keep it that way. I mean really KNOW I want to stay this way. Not just want to be sober.

Stay the course. Do the meetings, meet some good people who know what it is like and learn from those who are successful.

Surround yourself with goodness.

The miracle will happen.

Love,
Cindi

[Kayla]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

Hi WF, DG, Mary, Cinders, Cuckoo, Phil ...

Great thread everyone. Really enjoying reading all your thoughts, progress and insights. I agree with you WF about the longer posts - DG, you get the reigning lead on that one! - I get so much out of them. WF, you're inspiring me on with your 75 days. Brilliant!

So ... WF, Phil, and I ... all in the market for a sponsor eh? I have got my eye on two actually. A guy who is in his mid-forties with ten years up. He seems very left of centre and is an interesting speaker. Also, a woman with a similar sobriety time. Both these people strike me as very 'together' and seem to have synthesised the program well.

Still having many drinking thoughts here, but less buying into them. I like what you said Mary about how forgetting leads to denial and denial leads to drinking.

That's it in a nutshell. I understand this is how AA works, but boy I get tired of thinking about the problem all the time ... it's working though ... over two weeks sober now ... and only 3 drinking days out of the past 49.

So ... ever onwards.
Keep all the stories happening x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

There was an argument at last night's meeting. One guy came in very drunk & was pretty disruptive. Another guy (whom I suspect had been drinking) got into a shouting match w/a woman who said something stern to the drunk guy. I know that the only requirement for membership in AA is the desire to stop drinking, so I'm not sure if drunk people are ever banned from meetings. I've actually seen drunk people at meetings fairly frequently. It pretty much distracted the whole meeting. Too bad. Mary

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

Dear Cindi, you make me cry. You are right we have been fighting this for long enough. I am so happy for your sobriety because I have read your struggles to conquer this and they have mirrored my own. You just had the honesty to put it out there.

I woke up feeling shaky today because I had horrible dreams last night. One of them but not the worst of them was that I drank. I remember in the dream I just kept saying no, no, I'm quitting drinking but yet there on the bar was my gin and tonic. The one positive was that I don't remember saying "I'm trying to quit drinking but that I was quitting drinking". Who knows if this means anything about my mind set.

Cindi, you also mention surrounding myself with goodness and I have been attempting to do this since I joined MWO. The difference in attitude between when I focus on the positive vs the negative is startling since I can be quite the drama queen at times.

Well, I need to get ready for my 9:30 am meeting. WF, DG, RET, Phil, Cindi, and anyone I may have left out, I hope you each have a lovely, sober day. Will be thinking of you as I go about my day.
Chris

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

Mary, I'm sorry to hear about your meeting. I know you said you were looking forward to it.

I have been reading daily meditations from a book written by a Native American. One reading I came across spoke about trying to make positive changes in one's life and how we tend to keep putting it off. The quote that struck me is, "If not now then when? Tomorrow brings another tomorrow or someday. Borrowing time is delaying living". I think that is what each of us has been doing in one form or another for years. "I'll quit tomorrow, I'll quit starting July 1st, I'll quit after vacation, etc" thinking we were planning a quit date when all we were doing was delaying living.

Again thank you all for this thread.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

Cuckoo: I tried the whole significant quit date thing: anniversary, b-day, new years day, day after X-mas, you get the idea. The day I quit I had a lot of reasons:
-I quit when I decided that I wasn't going to drink again.
-I quit when I realized how destructive it was.
-I quit when I decided to stop lying.
-I quit when I wanted to face life head-on.
-I quit when I wanted a more spiritual life.
-etc.

I didn't need a significant date. I wanted to quit, because I want a sober life. It turns out that I quit on my g-son's 4th b-day. When he turns 5, I'll turn 1 in my new, sober life.

Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

Happy Sober Saturday.
Still on the right road with all of you.
Didn't get to check in yesterday, since hubby and I spent the evening checking out local gyms and getting a bite to eat. Eating out was odd, since I had mixed emotions being in a place to drink and although I didn't want anything, my husband also did not order anything, which bothered me immensely. I didn't want him to not order anything for me, I wanted him to do what he normally would do, which meant he would order a beer. He didn't and that made me very sad and teary, thinking about not only me changing or being affected by my drinking, but him as well. I don't want it to have to change his life, it's bad enough it has changed mine. I guess when you think about it though, it already has been affecting and changing his life.
Can't stay on know, since I'm off to a meeting at 4p.

Will try to check in again later.

Winefree

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

Mary, I doubt there is one of us that hasn't tried the significant quit date thing and I can honestly say it never worked for me.

I know today is the end of this week's thread so I don't mean to end my posting on a negative note but I didn't like today's meeting. In fact, after the meeting I ran some errands etc. and then tried to get to a 3:00 meeting just so I wasn't left with a bad experience prior to a Saturday night. On the way to the meeting I got caught in beach traffic and would have been late to the meeting so I turned around and came home. I know I won't be going to this meeting again because the meeting seemed to me to be dominated by 2 people with long-term (>10 years sobriety). At the first meeting I attended they asked (not demanded) that comments be kept to under 5 minutes so that everyone who wanted to could speak and all the people that spoke seemed to respect this rule. Not so at today's meeting. As I have been told by quite a few people, you need to shop around for meetings you like.

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

Cuckoo,

That is not a down post. It is a good post.

I so agree, if you go to a meeting where the general symbiosis in the room is not good for your healing and sobriety, don't go to that meeting again.

The idea is to go to AA to help you stay sober. Not to make you unhappy or miserable.

Although, I do have this bad habit of speaking my mind at meetings and have on several occasions said things about the kind of people you are talking about. Generally speaking, it opens up others to be able to address the issue which they were too shy to do.

Sometimes, rarely, but sometimes, old timers get cocky and forgetful about what it is like to be a drunk or newly sober. When that happens, they are actually getting closer to their next drink than they realize. The old timers who still "get it" are grateful for the newbies, because they know that it helps remind them of where they do not want to be.

Cindi

[Popeye]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

What a wonderful thread.
Thank you all.

I still can't find a meeting that's on while I'm not at work, so I'd like to share some thoughts here if that's OK.
I past the six month milestone a couple of weeks ago and I can honestly say that it's the best thing that I have ever done for myself.
There's a thread on the go now about someone who passed themself in the street. She saw a lady that reminded her of herself when she was drinking. So many times recently, I have had the same thoughts. I see men of varying ages walking about drunk, sometimes early in the day, talking to themselves and shouting across the street to other people who don't want to have anything to do with them. I saw a guy I know today just walking along with his carrier bag and mumbling and I wondered if he was, in his own mind, having a good day; if that was that how he intended to spend his Saturday, because that's how I used to spend most of mine. Why I did, I have no idea. The whole thing seems utterly ridiculous to me now. I don't mean going for a drink socially and ending up having too much, because I can understand that, but just getting up in the morning and the only thing to do that day was get drunk and do it properly with no care for my own wellbeing whatsoever. Can my thinking have altered so radically in such a short time? I believe it has, but again, I don't know why, but I'm glad it has.

My PC's playing up, so I'll leave it at that for now before I lose this post.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

Hello all! Cuckoo, I am really enjoying your posts - all of them! Even about the meeting that was not for you. Cinders is absolutely right - shop around and stick with the ones that are positive for you and avoid the rest. AA is no different than MWO or any other sub set of humanity. We will like and get along better with some people than others. LOL I used to hold AA to some really high standard...like AA and the meetings and the people were all supposed to be PERFECT. (I think that was another one of my "requirements" that led me to "AA is not for me!" in some twisted sort of way!) Anyway, over time I've reached a point where I can walk into any meeting and just look for the positive - I usually walk out having learned or been reminded of something important. And then sometimes there is a really really great meeting for me which gets me all enthusiastic again! Keep doin' what you're doin. Going to AA meetings and working to better understand how this addiction grips us (so we can fight it more effectively) will never hurt and only can help. And no...I have not relapsed since going to AA. But I DO understand how your mind works. I'm experienced at that sort of thinking! In fact the reason I went is because I was feeling a bit insecure about my sobriety and felt I needed "something more" in my sobriety program. AAthlete's posts always really intriqued me - not only seeing his sobriety but also his growth and wisdom. I wanted what he has.

Cinders I am really happy for you too!! I lurk the meds section sometimes as I am always curious about the various developments in recovery, and the new things being tried. Sounds like the changes to your program are really working for you. WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!

WF I hope you and hubby can talk about his choice to drink or not and how you both really feel about it. If your hubby is a true "normie", he may just not care about drinking (himself) one way or the other. Us addicted people obsess over drinking/ not drinking in a way that normal people absolutely do not. It's easy for us to forget that or to not even realize how they DO(n't) think about it. If someone would have said to my husband a couple of years ago when I was still drinking "if you will just not ever have a beer ever again, she won't ever drink again either" he would have sworn off beer forever and it wouldn't have been a "loss" to him at all. I have no idea if your husband is that way...just wondering if that's possible. Mean time congratulations on your continued progress on all fronts.

Mary I'm sorry your BB meeting fell apart. I suppose it's a miracle, considering rooms full of people with a really insidious addiction, that it doesn't happen more frequently than it does. I can understand the disappointment though. The ones where things have gotten physical have been scary. The issue of whether someone can be "banned" from a meeting has been widely discussed with a variety of "technicality" type opinions where I go. The place I go is an Alano Club (not run by AA of course - it's independent). But unlike other organizations like churches or hospitals that are engaged in some other business, the Alano Club exists primarily as a place for AA meetings to take place. The different groups pay for rent, etc. So..there is a fine line between "banning" someone from the club v. a meeting. How can someone attend a meeting, in accordance with Trad. 3 if they are banned from the building the meeting takes place in? Oy. When I get busy pondering heavy stuff like that, I'm certainly not thinking about drinking!

Cuckoo and Mary, that is a good topic about the "significant dates" as it relates to plans to quit. Many, many times I chose a quit date in the future. I can remember the intense PHYSICAL reaction I had to that. I feeling of joy and excitement which I would attribute to "finally making a decision to quit." Of course I immediately started pouring drinks. In retrospect, my "joy" was simply one of AL being happy to once again have a day of fixes. I remember one time when I did that, and posted about it. And Chief came along (where are ya Chief!) and sent me a message "why not today?" and that is really when I started thinking back over the "future date" BS I had been doing with myself.

Oh the games we play.

Kayla :yougo:CONGRATULATIONS!:yougo: on over 2 weeks, and also for the 46 sober days of 49. You are doing great. It WILL get easier and not require so much brain energy.

Well, I took an important step today regarding my sponsor and step work situation. The man I had mentioned was at this mornings meeting (he is only sometimes there on Saturday AM's). I took that as a sign. I spoke to him after the meeting about my desire to work with someone experienced in the steps and knowledge of the Big Book - the heart of the program. He asked me some questions and we talked and he agreed to work with me for now. I asked him to please work with me as though I just walked through the doors. He handed me his card and said "Start reading chapter 1 and call me." He has sponsored over 100 people through the years and I always like what he has to say - he is one of the most humble of the old timers. Whatever is in his heart & soul is what I want.

So now I need to call my other sponsor and let her know that I have engaged an additional sponsor to specifically work the steps with. I am praying for the best words to come so that it will not seem hurtful.

Anyway, that's the news from here! Hello also to Phil and Okey and PP and anyone else I forgot or who is lurking! Hopefully that covers everyone!

Strength and Hope,

DG

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

yo

Preciouspinot;663356 wrote: Hello everyone! I am back from my vacation in the Bahamas. I went with hubby and my 3 kids as well and a few other couples and their kids. We all went over by boat and had a great time. I was hoping that I could do some AA meetings online but, being online turned out to be way too exspensive. Hubby checked out his emails and ran up a $400 bill so, that plan was out. We were gone for 10 days and I managed to stay AF. I was fine with it but, there were a couple of days where the rum drinks looked pretty good. On those days I got by on prayer! I went to the 7:30 meeting this morning to get back in the swing of things. I think I will double up on meetings a few days this week.

I hope everyone is doing well!

hi precious someone once told me when your on trips and your missing meetings look up friends of bill w,some hotels at the front desk will have a card sitting and stating the room they hold a meeting i to am going away in sept, to nashville i will be looking this time i hope it helps gyco

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

cpn1004;664221 wrote: One More Time:
Well, tomorrow I get to go to my 630 am meeting and admit that I am starting a new sobriety date. My trip to New York provided an excuse to drink again. I did a six pack Wed. and Thurs. night then advanced to about 10 beers a day Friday and through the weekend at home. It is easy to slip, isn't it?

Thanks for this post and all the support here. Perhaps I should consider getting a sponsor in AA....duh...ya think Phil?
Love and Peace,
Phil

him cpn a slip is a slip,isnt it wonderful you recognise that,like your drinking evryting takes time,a gentleman at AA meeting this morning said he just got out of rehab,found a sponsor,the man says he puts up with nothing,a good sponsor will guide you like a dog does for a blind person,once you get to yor destination the rest is up to you i wish you well i will be coming here a bit more frequently cause ive been attending AA meeting s the last week regularly,hopefully youll be able to put up with me gyco i do wish you well

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 19

Sometimes we have to pick and choose the meetings which are best for us. I too have been to a couple that weren't really for me. I will only go to them in the future if that is all that is available if I missed my regular meeting( I try not to miss a day).
Shopping around has worked for me.

This afternoons meeting reflected on the 24 hr book and the reading was about no criticism or gossip about fellow AA's to keep unity in the group. Makes perfect sense to me. There was a lot of discussion to around those AA's that come in and out of the rooms, if they haven't found a higher power and surrender. I spoke about not wanting to be one of this in and out of the room AA's. I'm hoping to get it right since I don't want to go through starting all over again with this process.
The meeting today also helped me realize the ODAT(one day at a time) also goes to my home life. Hubby and I started joint counseling today to work on our marriage and it left me unsettled when thinking about our future. I started a lot of "stinkin thinking" and looking into what might happen. I had to stop myself and say, just deal with today and God will guide us for the rest. It got me into a better space for the remainder of the day.
The serenity to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference and let God lead the way.......

Have a good night all.

Winefree