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**retteacher** · August 3, 2009, 10:10 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

A thought about anonymity which came up in last week's thread: I know that anonymity is a foundation for the program, but people are people & will talk. I have to "get over myself" as someone in last week's thread put it. I've seen a few people that I knew from Alanon or from my teaching, & each time I experience that I get nervous & the meeting is ruined for me. HP is putting these people in my path for a reason...to bust up my pride about myself.

I just met a woman whose son worked w/my SIL. They are good friends. I haven't said anything to her yet, but I want to assure her that I haven't mentioned her to my SIL (i.e. "I just met Bill's mother!"). I know my SIL would ask where, & that would bust her anonymity. But, I can see how easily I could reveal her to my SIL.

Anyhow, I do really want to "get over myself." That narcissism of thinking people are talking about me, or disillusioned about me in some way is pure self-centeredness.

That's it for me for now.

Mary

**okydoky** · August 3, 2009, 07:25 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

Hi Friends,
I did step 5 with my sponsor yesterday. I called all my AA friends and asked them to pray for me as I was very nervous and their prayers were answered. It went very well and I was able to be honest about my life which is a first for me since I have always put on the "perfect" outside. You are absolutely right about being as sick as our secrets. Now I am on the path to healing this sickness. I am able to see my part in my fears and resentments and look forward to steps 6 and 7. I know willingness is the key because if I am truly willing to have God remove my selfish, dishonest, inconsiderate, frightened and self-seeking behaviors, I have to be ready to take action to change these behaviors by doing the opposite and having the courage to be honest, considerate and more concerned with others needs. I pray for willingness.

**retteacher** · August 4, 2009, 08:15 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

Okey: What an honest & heart-felt post! Thank you. I too felt that sense of relief & freedom upon doing my 5th step. There was finally someone in the world who knew the whole story of my drinking. I'm just finishing up step 8, & I really feel that I'm ready to make amends for the harm I have done through my drinking. My husb has been the most hurt by it all, & I actually look forward to telling him everything (though it won't be easy). I'm also going to make an amends to myself for the abuse of drinking.

I have my regular speaker meeting tonight. I always enjoy it, as I can identify w/at least something from other folks' stories...even if it looks different from mine.

Mary

**cpn1004** · August 4, 2009, 08:23 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

Great posts so far. Thank y'all for doing this.
Love and Peace,
Phil

**Preciouspinot** · August 4, 2009, 01:19 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

Hey everyone! I worked on my 4th Step for about 2 hours today getting as much as I could on paper. I am so afraid of not being through. I feel like I'm being honsest i just don't want to leave anything out that is important. I guess my sponsor will help me with this when we sit down for the 5th Step. I leave on vaction tomorrow for a week so, I don't get to do my 5th step for more than a week..I really want to get it over with. How long did you guys sit down with your sponsors for this step?

I think it's great you went to AA Macks! Love this thread and am greatful for all your input.

**retteacher** · August 4, 2009, 01:46 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

PP: Don't worry about leaving something out of your 4th step. The steps are a guideline for life & will be a help to us always. My sponsor has been stressing that I don't have to do them perfectly. Just do the best you can. There's an AAer that I know who does a yearly 4th step just to keep himself current & on top of his char. defects.

Phil: It's great to see you here...I was wondering. Keep working at your program. You'll get there.

Mary

**Cinders** · August 4, 2009, 02:19 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

Hi all.

I am planning on getting to one of my meetings tonight. I am looking forward to it, actually.

Macks!! I am so grateful your first meeting went so well. How did your Monday night meeting go?

Phil, hang in there. I have spent years going to AA and drank a lot of that time. But, I just knew that one day I would get it, and I think I finally have.

On sharing during meetings. I fully believe that sharing just for the sake of hearing our own voices is a waste of everyone's time. As a short termer, I honestly feel that sharing about how to stay sober is not where I need to share. I want to hear from those who have maintained a lot of sobriety. They know how, I don't. I will listen.

On the other hand, I am not shy at all (has anyone guessed that?) and if I have a burning desire to learn something, you bet I share. I usually share questions.

I find that when I do that, many are more than happy to jump in and give me their views and experiences. It is so darned helpful. So, I do ask my friends here to be willing to ask questions if you have a real need and answers can help. You will be amazed at the love and support the group will give. And the knowledge you will gain by having done so.

I love this thread, and Oky, I am so happy to hear how well you are doing and how your life has been transformed. Your posts give me hope for a bright future for myself.

Love,
Cindi

**retteacher** · August 4, 2009, 07:53 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

Hi All: I just got back from my Tues. speaker meeting. A young man spoke, & as usual, even though his story is very different from mine, I could still identify. He spoke about fear & how drinking just narrows your life down...the isolation of drinking. As I go through the steps, I can feel the fear falling away from me. I still have a long way to go (especially w/step 9), but I can see the transformation coming.

On sharing at meetings: I don't share very often. I still have that self-centered fear of "saying the wrong thing." Also, I'm still so new to sobriety that I really don't feel qualified. I know that fear will lift as I go deeper into the program. I'm learning to take it easy & not rush myself. Actually, my sponsor has taught me that lesson. I'd be all the way through the steps & then some if it were up to me. My sponsor has made me slow down & take my time.

I'm so glad for this thread. It helps me so much to process the meetings this way, & I love reading about others' meetings. Thank you all so much for making this happen.

Love, Mary

**Determinator** · August 4, 2009, 08:08 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

well I've finally gotten caught up to the point where I've been able to take a peek in here and see what you all are up to

love it! I hope my absence from this thread hasn't lead anyone to think I don't approve of AA, in fact while I know very little about the program I've been to perhaps 6 meetings total (it's been quite a while). Now however you have inspired me to get back once in a while and enjoy some of the 'face to face' camaraderie. Thanks one and all.

**Winefree** · August 4, 2009, 10:13 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

What I find amazing is how friendly everyone is at AA mtgs. I had to attend a different mtg that I have never attended before tonight due to a get together with friends. Ate dinner out and I was the only non drinker. Missed my regular Tues. mtg so went to another. I had several people introduce themselves to me and welcomed me to the mtg. A nice feeling to be so readily accepted and not alone on this path.

Winefree

**gyco** · August 5, 2009, 04:59 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

hi teach,and everyone else,posts are very interesting,det,i to felt the same way about AA,matter a fact last nt i was at a meeting,just sat outside,didnt no if i wanted to go in,finally got the courage to go in,what hits me is they do step one,i have a very hard time with the word aclcoholic,and i finally said that last nt,a few snickered but i beleive they understood,lets face it,the second part of the 1st step is life being unmanageable,when one drinks as much as i did,it only makes things unmanageable,lol,and odd enuff,i can laugh at it now,even in sobriety,i will always have the drink problem,i beleive when they created this program,so much tht was put into it,man and women are self reliant,stubborn,thats why the steps were set up the way they are,what we cant do by ourselves,we can do in numbers,acceptance of ones faults,and admitting it,being here or at AA is much the same,teachings are the same,something i herd at treatment,are our brains so damaged that we cant comprehend,what dont we get,we just cant drink,have a wonderful day thnx teach,your doing a great job, gyco

**retteacher** · August 5, 2009, 07:01 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

Gyco: It's certainly not me it's us that's making this thread so valuable. I now actually love admitting I'm an alcoholic. It signifies to me that I have a problem & am doing something about it. It signifies the end of denial. I try not to look into the future & say "I'll never drink again, ever". The AA philosophy is to take sobriety one day at a time, & that's what I'm trying to do.

Thanks for all the contributions to this thread. Deter, nice seeing you here.

Mary

**Winefree** · August 5, 2009, 08:55 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

The reading for discussion this evening was about listening deeply to others sharing. I could certainly relate to that, since I have been mostly listening and rarely speaking in order to get as much wisdom from other people in the rooms. I have learned so much from others experience, success and failures and strength to try again if they don;t get it right initially.
The support and lack of judgment is wonderful to see. We are truly not alone in our struggles to maintain our sobriety and we all seem to understand what each other is going through. This is not only true in AA, but here on MWO as well.

Thank you everyone.

Winefree

**retteacher** · August 6, 2009, 01:10 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

WF: You're absolutely right. Without MWO, I wouldn't be where I am today...sober. I admitted my alcoholism here first & broke through the worst of the denial here as well. AA provides me w/the 12 steps, & the face-to-face committment to others that I need to stay sober.

Tonight I'm going to my regular step meeting which has been suspended, because there was a racoon on the loose somewhere in the church (the attic probably). I miss that meeting even though it's mostly men. It's the only step meeting I go to.

I'll be back soon.

Mary

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Weekly AA Thread - Week of August 3 - 9

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