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**gyco** · August 8, 2009, 05:43 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

hi dog lady,bright and cherie today,absent at times is good, to much of anything can effect us,in a negative and sometimes positive way,i again will say it,you folks are doing great things with this thread ,keep up the good work,working in numbers is always better then working new challenges on your own,have a great weekend gyco think positive

**Guitarista** · August 8, 2009, 06:15 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Greetings from Australia folk's. Geez it's great to be sober! Now and then a little tear will appear from absolutely nowhere, seemingly. I think it's just inner happiness. Welcome back, i say!
Best wishes all..........

**Cinders** · August 8, 2009, 06:27 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Good Morning AF friends,

DG, I miss you when you are so busy but I am also grateful that you continue to do so well and continue to work on learning to live a full and happy sober life. Thank you for sharing when you can.

Gyco, G - Hi!!

I have a lot to get done this weekend, myself. Lots of things to do for work, grr, but today I get to go out with my daughter and dear DIL for a while sans children. We are going to buy school supplies for the kiddos. Today is tax free day and my son works at Walmart and gets a 10% discount on top of that, so a 18.5% savings for us today!! I am sure we can squeeze in a little girl time, too.

We also have a hot one coming up. Hubby installed some solar hot water panels for the pool this week. It is big enough for the pool we are going to purchase and currently we have this little tiny soft side pool set up for this summer. (Purchased for $50 from Walmart two summers ago at the end of the season.) The water temp was 90 degrees yesterday. :H

Otherwise, same old same old here. I am still sober, I only have the occasional thoughts but easily brush them away. My attitude is one of fear of ever picking up a single drink ever again. I can't explain it but right now it is abject terror. I am sure someday that will fade a bit and I will then have to be extremely vigilant. Right now I am enjoying the ease of staying sober.

Hope all to come have a pleasant and happy Saturday.

Love,
Cindi

**greeneyes** · August 8, 2009, 06:39 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Morning abbers!!

Imaging DG feeling funny starting this thread :H I think the collective sigh of relief is what woke me up. I have a dehydrater but no instructions so I'll PM you about it. My interest is officially sparked. Do you have a foodsaver you put the stuff in?

Hi gyco, you sweetheart you!

Guitarista, I know what you mean about that tear. Sometimes my happy-happy get so big it spills out. Welcome back is right!

Hello all to come.

This week was rather trying with EO. Having finally gone through the hearing and it falling apart gave him incentive to breathe new life into the issues at hand. I'm doing pretty good with my protective shield. So today I'm going to give myself a treat! I'm going to go to an independent theatre and see the noon matinee of Easy Virtue and then go somewhere known for their burgers to have what may be my last one ever as the next matineee at 3 is Food, Inc. So far, nobody is going with me but I'm lucky to be one of those people who doesn't need company.

Have a good one!

Cindi, Hi! X posted which is uncannily common recently

**Marshy** · August 8, 2009, 06:56 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Hello all,

Checking in from work. Slow today.
Air con? Pools? Too cold for both here.

DG - time to come clean. Evil Bunny has not "moved on", has he? Did he end up in your dehydrator? Come on, you can tell us..

Cindi - Fear is one of my motivating factors. Fear of where I'll end up - which would be on the street eventually. I see it as a positive kind of terror:H Helps keep me on the straight and narrow.

Greenie - I prefer going to the cinema by myself! You don't have to have that tedious discussion about the merits of the film afterwards, and I can indulge my love of subtitled foreign movies without anyone complaining that they're boring :H

Have a good day everyone.

**dill** · August 8, 2009, 07:06 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Good morning DG, gyco, guitarista, cinders, greeneyes, marshy and all to follow!

It's been very busy here as well and I find that to be both good and bad. It is good, because the time is passing relatively cheerfully and productively. It is bad because I feel myself with less time to maintain focus on the very important business at hand of staying AF. I will make conscious efforts through the day to recall how important it is and why I am doing it. It is so easy to get lost in the present and the good feelings of the present, and forget how easily, and by what action, it can all slip away.

Sorry to be the first sort of 'downer' post, but this is my struggle of the moment in a generally happy weekend.

Best wishes to all of you, and a little extra to you Greenie, dealing with EO.

Off to google "food dehydrator".

**greeneyes** · August 8, 2009, 07:06 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

I LOVE subtiled foreign movies! :H:H:H about the bunny! Thanks dill :l

**Lavande** · August 8, 2009, 08:46 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Good morning Abbers!

Large group today - wonderful, I can feel the strength

DG, I sure hope the AC is working if you are planning on doing some canning today. UGH, I hate all the heat canning creates in the kitchen.

Peacenik, you are in my thoughts today while you celebrate the lives of your loved ones.

Hello to Gyco & Guitarista, this really is a great thread, glad to see you, tears and all!

Cindi, enjoy the shopping and girl time, sounds very nice

Greenie, enjoy your afternoon as well. There's nothing like a little 'Quality Alone Time' - seriously

Hi Marshy, working today? I spent nearly 30 years working every other weekend and can't say I miss it a bit!

Dill, I've been subject to some fluctuatiing 'moods' lately largely due to the business of staying AF! I think it's the adjusting to really noticing & 'feeling' things now that scares me. For example, I was able to ignore some extremely annoying habits & behaviors of Mr. Lav's when I was numbing myself with a bottle or more of wine/day. Now I have to find some way to bring his attention to what he is doing without ripping his head off. It's not easy because he has a serious case of ADD but refuses to address it! Well, that's another story in and of itself! No one ever said this was going to be easy!!

Sending you all best wishes for a wonderful AF day!
Lav

**Gold** · August 8, 2009, 09:16 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Hi to doggygirl, gyco, guitarista, cinders, greeneyes, marshy, dill, lavande and all to come,

My first thought reading about Evil Bunny's disappearance and Marshy's suspicions was, anyone for a dehydtrated lucky rabbits foot...

I'm glad things are going so well for everyone, you all sound so industrious. I understand dill not wanting to post a 'downer' when the mood of the thread is so upbeat and positive. But here goes...

I'm not finding it hard to be AF, day 15 today, it's as if something changed in my head as it did when I gave up smoking 30 years ago. I'm not going to be complacent though. What I am finding difficult is that I'm still not getting things done! I managed to reduce my life to nearly nothing whilst drinking the last three years or so, before that there was so much going on of a challenging nature that I was fully occupied by those things. Most of that and the fallout is over bar this last year but I've never really done things for myself only for others.

Whilst I feel so much better AF, I am beginning to find new things to beat myself up over

Has anyone else experienced this?

**Cinders** · August 8, 2009, 09:22 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Gold,

I am just now starting to look at how to get myself better geared up for a productive sober life. I am kind of slow with change.

I do beat myself up for not keeping the house clean, not being organized with work, etc.

So, yes, I am beating myself up about other things. It is what we do, isn't it?

My next self-improvement project is to get more organized with work. Things like getting expenses in on time, having my time sheet done on time, all the administrivia that I hate but still needs to be done and reflects on my yearly appraisal. I certainly have the time for it these days.

(I have a feeling the exercise part is lurking and I keep pushing it back. :H:H)

Cindi

**Accountable for Me** · August 8, 2009, 09:54 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Good morning all!

I am feeling a bit run down and still a bit queesy from yesterday. I woke up wanting to throw up all day yesterday. I am just tired and haven't been sleeping well the last couple of weeks. I will have to have a nice nap later on. What is funny is that the way I feel reminds me of my drinking days. Thank goodness there is no way I was drinking but it is still a good reminder of how I felt back in the day. YUCK!

It is cool and cloudy here this morning. We have had some nice cooler temps this week. I am going shopping for new dishes and arts/crafts materials for Little AFM. Time to restock on those. I might even check out some second hand stores for the heck of it. We will see how I am feeling as the day goes on.

Other than that, all is good in my little world. I honestly cannot complain even if I am feeling under the weather!

Have a nice day everyone! xoxo

**Marshy** · August 8, 2009, 11:00 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Dill - that's a perennial problem isn't it? "I've been AF for X amount of time, I must be normal! I can have a drink like normal people!". I suppose everyone's way of dealing with this is different. I quickly remind myself that, actually, no, I'm not like other people and I can't have a drink. (Just like I can't be "normal" and eat seafood coz it makes me throw up :H). And I try to be very aware that I'm in a slightly vulnerable frame of mind, so I need to be strict with myself about staying away from temptation.

Gold, I felt very restless and frustrated for quite some time during my first long(ish) AF spell. I expected every aspect of my life to magically improve overnight because I'd stopped drinking. And guess what? It didn't. I'd say, try to relax, give yourself time for the healing process to progress and feel proud about what you have achieved. And don't beat yourself up - you're doing something really, really important!

**Determinator** · August 8, 2009, 11:27 AM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Happy Saturday ABadabadoooooos!

I woke up hard after sleeping in. zzzzzz soooo sleepy still. ?

DG, nice kickstart today. Maybe 'evil bunny' has come to terms with it's eating disorder? overeaters anonymous perhaps. "hi, my name is evil bunny and I've been pumpkin-free for 24 hours now"

Dill, no need to apologize for anything. you're talking about the stuff this forum was made for, and we are all in it together. How seriously I take my recovery seems to oscillate in cycles....I take a break, then back at it. So long as we stay the course in the broader sense, we'll be maintaining our bearing for Happyville.

Gold, sorry to hear your beating yourself up over things. I think that self-esteem issues just go with the territory here and I fight the same demons. When we can channel that energy into something positive we can harness a LOT of power into a good thing. Happy to say it's 'mostly' working for me

I'm still so sleepy, good grief. back after more coffee

be well everyone and all to come

**Doggygirl** · August 8, 2009, 03:49 PM

AF Daily - Saturday August 8, 2009

Hi again everyone! :H NO!!! There is no Bunny Jerky here!!! I like to believe that Evil Bunny became Bunny Wonderful by finding a neighbor's garden to terrorize.

Excaliber makes an awesome dehydrator with a 26 hour timer which is cool. 5-Tray SMALL GARDEN-Excalibur 26 hour Timer #3526T - Commercial Food & Fruit Dehydrator from Excalibur

Blueberries are taking forever by the way. At least with dehydrating you can "set it and forget it" to some degree like that Ronco Amazing Chicken Roaster and Matching Ginsu Knives.

A food saver would work to store the dehydrated stuff. Or if you are like me and fighting the incredible and impossible uphill battle of getting away from so much plastic, then this thing is really cool and it works on glass jars with metal lids that have a rubber seal. It also works with canning jars and lids/rings. Pump and Seal food saver vacuum sealer is better than Tilia FoodSaver

Now if I can figure a way to keep Mr. Doggy out of the jars. LOL I was explaining to him just last night, shortly before another jar of pickles disappeared, that the whole point of preserving food is to have it in the winter when there is no fresh local food around. The whole point of the garden NOW is to eat the fresh stuff fresh, not the dehydrated and canned versions. The jury is still out on whether or not he will be trainable on this issue.

Gold - I think you are doing a GREAT job getting AL out of your life. I can relate to what you are going through, and also to what the others have said about expecting life to be magically wonderful once the drinking stopped. It wasn't that way for me either. In fact by the end of my drinking career I was so focused on drinking that once I removed the AL there was nothing much there that resembled a life! I had to start building one pretty much from scratch. For me I had to find some new activities that took me far far away from AL. I also had to start learning how to do things WITHOUT a drink in my hand where previously I always had a drink in my hand. (cooking, yard work, reading, e-mailing, talking on the phone, practically everything!) That takes some time and adjusting. I have a lot of random joyful moments (disgusting, I know I know!) but also moments even now that are uncomfortable where I am reminded of AL and am still having to work through stuff.

It really helped me in the early days to keep a written list handy of stuff I wanted to do. Some things on the list were chore type "to dos" but I made a point of keeping fun stuff on the list too. When I would have those AL gripping moments, it was nice to have some ideas on a quick glance list to keep me moving in the forward direction.

Dill - please ALWAYS post whatever is on your mind here! This journey is not easy. There are still times when I get caught up in the moment and have to work hard to get centered back on sobriety. I don't know why, but my mind sure loves to forget all the negative consequences of my drinking and only remember the (very fleeting!) glammed up part of it. A written list for a quick visual reminder is helpful for me sometimes. You will find tactics that work for you!

It's great to hear from everyone. Greenie I'm curiouser and curiouser about this fig business. I was at a business lunch meeting on Thursday and a lady at my table was talking about a fig tree she has had for years. I didn't ask her if it 1) Actually has figs and 2)Attracts strange people in bathrobes and bed heads. But I wanted to ask her that stuff. (sorry to hear EO is causing stress again. Hang on tight to the Big Girl Pants! Does he have a garden? I know you are really nice to him, but I'm not. I could send Evil Bunny over there on a mission of some sort.)

AFM I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling well!! Hope that passes soon. Oh - I'm almost all packed for the trip so make sure my half of the closet is empty, OK????

Cinders, don't we all beat ourselves up AND hate paperwork???? I do! (time for us all to stop beating ourselves up. I dunno - might be hard to stop hating paperwork!)

Deter if Evil Bunny is at a 12-step meeting for bean eaters, I hope he took all his neighborhood pals with him. I'm sure there is more than one around here!!

Greenie and Marshy, now I know what I will do this winter once garden season is over and Mr Doggy is still going to dog training every Saturday. I recently watched a movie with subtitles (didn't realize that when I ordered it) from Netflix. It was really good. Now I need to remember the name of it. Mr. Doggy would have hated it even if it had been in English.

Lav, I can relate to annoying spouse habits and the lack of AL to help ignore things. Mr. D and I have had to work through some issues. For me, a huge part of it was just getting over myself and accepting that he is the way he is on many things. These days I try to really contemplate my desires to *change* him. More often than not, what really needs to happen is that I need to quit being so self centered and stop trying to get him to do everything my way. But that's just me!!! To the degree we do need to compromise on some things, I'm learning to approach things calmly and rationally rather that stoked up for a fight before there is even a fight. But that's still a work in progress and has been a long time coming! It's amazing what Mr. Doggy is willing to do if I ask nice. Anyway, best wishes figuring all that out and seeing what works in your relationship. In some ways quitting AL is the beginning - not the end!

Geico - you are so right that there is strength in numbers when fighting AL. I cannot imagine trying to do this all alone. Well, yes I CAN imagine that. It was horrifying and lonely and miserable and I ended up just drinking and drinking and drinking. I couldn't even keep my promise to myself to not drink for one lousy day. I NEED you all to stop and stay stopped.

Guitarista it's great to see you and I love those random happy moments! GLad you are having them today.

Well, now I really am off to wind it down. Hope everyone is having a great day.

DG

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