Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

Great words DoggyGirl.

I went to a beginner's meeting last night. Almost did not make it due to 1.5 hour drive home from a job site, pissed off about traffic, thinking about blowing off the meeting, rush in the house to change clothes, some dude from ATT Uverse is presenting sales pitch to my wife outside the front door (he can't come inside because the barking chihuahuas are not wild about strangers), my wife asks me if we interested, I say I got to go to this meeting, rush out of house, drive fast to meeting make it right at 630pm...and get this...I'm the only beginner with three experienced AA's. I get to spend an hour with them. We pretty much did steps 1 - 3. It was great.....can anyone say...hmm...Higher Power....
Love and Peace,
Phil

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

Phil, your post made me SMILE here this morning! One of the things I love the most about AA is spending time around people who have many many years of sobriety. They truly show us how it's done if we are willing to listen and do what they did to get sober. And as my coach says, and to eventually like it. Good for you too making it a priority to get to the meeting despite the long drive, traffic, annoying sales person, etc. We CAN do this if we make sobriety #1.

:yougo::yougo::yougo:

DG

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

Great thoughts and thread. Thank you everyone!!

I did want to speak to the "1 or 2" thoughts and why it won't work for most people.

There is a physical reason we can't. Pure and simple. We have made a change to our limbic(sp?) portion of our brain. That is the portion that drives us for survival. It drives us to eat, it drives us to run when we experience fear, etc. We have changed it such that it "thinks" that alcohol is necessary for survival. (Other addictions do the same thing.) That is why we have the internal struggle that we do. Our rational part of the brain knows it is killing us but our primitive part of the brain thinks we need it.

Once that imprint is made in that portion of our brain, there is only one way to escape. That is abstinence. That is why one drink always leads to another and then many.

AA teaches us to stop drinking, doing it one day at a time, and living our lives in such a manner that we keep our rational thinking brain in the forefront. It also teaches us to live our lives in such a way that we are happy and guilt free and feel good about ourselves.

All these things are a huge weapon against that primitive part of our brain. The longer we stay AF, the quieter it will become, but it is always there lurking and waiting and if we feed it alcohol, we bring it back from its slumber.

Alcoholism is a chronic progressive disease and I know AA, living life so that we think instead of react, exercise so we improve our physical health and make ourselves feel better, eat right so that we feel better, share with others with the same disease so that we learn ways to stay sober are all steps that will lead us to a good and sober life.

I hope this didn't offend anyone, I wasn't sure it belonged on this thread but I do think it is good to know what we are dealing with and why AF is necessary. It is a requirement, in fact.

I can't wait to get back home and go to an AA meeting. Being unable to drive for a time has made it difficult when on the road. Especially since the hours I am working tend to get me back to the hotel later than a lot of AA meetings meet. But this will pass and I will be able to go to meetings again on the road someday. Until then, I use MWO as my AA group.

This thread is a huge help.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

Cindi: What you say makes perfect sense. I feel the grip loosening w/every day I stay sober. That said: I KNOW that I'd be right back into the insanity w/the first sip.

Phil: I'm so happy for you. Keep going over those first 3 steps. The literature helps me in between meetings.

I led the meeting last night. It was on step 3. Ever since I joined AA, I've said the 3rd step prayer, & I'm not sure how it happened, but it seems to be keeping me sober. There was a lot of talk of God's vs. our will. It was an inspiring meeting, & I feel all kinds of internal changes happening. I can't really put it into words. I saw a couple of "outside" people at last night's meeting. I know that HP put them there to bust up my ego about having people know I'm an AL. After the initial surprise of seeing them, I was fine. That's what I mean about the shifts in my perception.

Take care one & all. I'm going to spend the day w/my husband visiting an art museum. It has an exhibit we've (I've) been wanting to see.

Mary

[ChickenNumber3]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

Please excuse my ignorance!

could someone please tell me what the 'pink cloud' is?
Thanks
Chicken

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

Hello all! Cindi, thank you for sharing the info you did about the physical details of this (and other) addiction. I want to know everything I can about addiction - more weapons to fight the battle every day. I'm glad you chose to share that here. From everything I have read, Bill W was always seeking out the latest scientific / medical research about alcohol addiction. The understanding of contributing factors seems to have come a long way since Bill W's time, and yet there is still so little in the way of air tight "easy" solutions. I really like how you summarized and brought together the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of this condition (disease? whatever it is....) and the benefits that the AA program provides. AWESOME.

Mary, I too am getting much more comfortable with the idea that people may figure out I'm an alcoholic. My truck has our business graphics all over it and I'm parked nearly every day at the Alano Club. I don't drink any more and work hard one day at a time to keep it that way, and I think that is the important thing. At first I was very, very sensitive (ego, as you said!) about it. I bet you lead a great meeting. Wish I could be there! I hope you and Mr. had fun at the exhibit.

Hi Chicken and welcome! The "pink cloud" as I have experienced it, is that time in early sobriety when we are so happy to be sober that life seems all wonderful and almost problem-free. Eventually reality set in and I realized that life's little (and big) problems still happen - I just need new and better ways than AL to cope with them. I think of it a bit like the evolution of a relationship with, say, Mr. Doggy. At first everything is new and exciting and seems perfect. Over time, reality sets in but that new and exciting feeling is replaced (in this relationship anyway!) with something better - like an old pair of comfortable shoes.

I finally have my appointment with Sister to do Step 5. I will be taking that step on Monday! So I have some work to do this weekend reviewing all of my Step 4 information once more time and making sure all is in order and as complete as I can possibly make it. The way she does this is she says to plan to spend one hour. I think this allows us to focus on getting to the meat of my darkest secrets rather than procrastinate getting to the heart of the matter by talking excessively about things I have already been willing to admit to myself and others. Then she likes to move straight to Step 6 and then I get to buy her lunch. . (which I am happy to do - it's funny how the Sisters seem to mange this! - I am not Catholic but we have Sisters as clients - they are wonderful and interesting)

Anyway...I need to let my dogs out then get ready to be off to Big Book study. I'm really excited (and somewhat nervous) to get Step 5 behind me - at least Step 5 Version 1. I know I will never be done.

I'm enjoying reading Undrunk. I have to laugh at all the perceptions he had that I certainly had in spades.

I still am not sure exactly what it is, but when I go to meetings and make some sort of daily effort at the AA program, I am NOT battling thoughts or urges to drink. Whatever the AA program suggests I do, it's worth it to be free of the obsession to drink and for me, the irrational fear of relapse. (I need to respect it, but not be possessed by irrational fear every day - that's what took me to the AA doors in the first place - that fear.)

Have a great day everyone! Great thread as always. I'm really glad we share here.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

Hi Everyone:

DG, I can't tell you how important the 5th step was for me. It was an opportunity to tell someone the secrets I'd been hiding. After telling my sponsor, I felt could then do an amends. It has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. The promises have become a reality for me. Additionally, I haven't experienced that awful obsession to drink. I'll be thinking about you, DG, on Monday. It will change you for the better.

Speaking of the obsession: Last night's BB meeting focussed on that. There were a few people who admitted to feeling like they wanted to drink. They didn't but wanted to. I'm sure they walked out of the meeting w/a whole different mind-set. That's the one of the most important benefits of the meetings: they take away the desire to drink. As for me: I haven't felt that desire in a long time. I think about drinking only in terms of my recovery. Being around drinkers hasn't bothered me at all so far. We did leave a wedding early last month, because people were on the way to getting tanked. However, I didn't feel like I wanted one or wanted to join in the "fun." I knew how those folks were going to feel the next day: bad. I, on the other hand, was able to get up & walk my dog early in the morning. I don't feel superior to people who drink. I know I can't & appreciate the gifts of being a sober person.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

Oh My - New Developments!

I can't remember now if I mentioned this before here at MWO. A few weeks ago a new girl turned up at a few meetings - seems like a nice gal and I remember thinking "good for you recognizing this problem EARLY and trying to do something about it!" She asked me a couple weeks ago if I would sponsor her. I explained that I would love to but that I did not feel qualified as she deserves someone who has completed the steps at least one time through to be her guide. Of course I talked to my coach about it when next we met, and he suggested I offer to be her temporary sponsor until she can find someone more qualified. Then I didn't see her at any meetings for a couple of weeks. That doesn't mean she wasn't at any - just didn't see her at the ones I go to, that she had previously attended.

Of course I had to go through the mental gymnastics and a little ego struggle until I saw her again this morning. I had also left her a voice message that I thought went unanswered - turns out Mr. Doggy answered the phone and suggested she call back, which she had not done.

Anyway.... it was sort of ironic because after the meeting she approached me again and this time asked if I would be her temporary sponsor. She is part of an out patient program at a local hospital and they highly recommend AA attendance, and somebody is in charge of that program who knows AA very well, obviously!

So...here I am with a temporary sponsee. I feel the weight of the responsibility, but I also feel very comfortable and glad to have a step coach who is encouraging me to do this, and who will be standing by to help me when I need guideance, which will be often. (I already have questions)

As some of you know, I started out with a temporary sponsor who had not completed the steps (although she did not tell me that up front, which became a problem). So it feels a little bit like what went around is coming around. I'm sure I will learn from the experience and I'm sure I will need to keep my ego in very close check to do justice to this "assignment."

Over and over again at meetings I hear the long timers talking about how critical it is to help others as part of my own sobriety. It's one thing to share at meetings "when the spirit moves me" - and it's a whole 'nother thing (in my mind anyway) to consider the responsibility of this one on one relationship. There are a few selfish ways I am going to have to let go of. One of the first is ignoring any and all phone calls if I don't feel like taking them. LOL the phone has been an issue for me since Day 1 of AA so I guess HP is putting something in front of me to help me get over myself. (in more ways than one I'm sure)

Well, I better get my butt back to Step 5 final preparation. More than ever I can see the need in my own local club for more women who are qualified and available as sponsors. I know that lots of good people can't realistically sponsor as many people as they would like due to family and work schedules. I have enough flexibility for "giving back" in thsi way to be part of my schedule. Now I understand better why my step coach keeps a fire lit under my tail to keep moving on the steps! In the end it's for me too - helping others so I can stay sober too. Giving away the gift that has been so freely given to me.

Wow. I feel like the rubber is meeting the road for the first time. I will need help to handle it - please all of you help me, and remind me to ask for HP help if I seem to be forgetting.

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

DoggyGirl...hmmm....can any say Higher Power???
Love and Peace,
Phil

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

DG, you have a lot of insight into this program and time with your sobriety. I am sure you will do fine as a temporary sponsor and learn a lot as well. Good for you.

Winefree

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

DG: I agree that you're certainly ready to be a temp. sponsor. This is not rocket science. It's just being there for support when needed & keeping people focussed on the first 3 steps. If AA didn't have people like you who are willing to give back, there would be no AA. I too hear about service constantly at meetings. That's why I lead a meeting once a month, take people to/from meetings, & take phone calls. AA was there for me when I needed it. It has changed my life for the better one thousand-fold. The least I can do is drive someone to meetings now & then.

I saw a young guy at Friday's meeting whom I had first met when I came into the rooms. He looked pretty ragged, but he said he had 30 days. It's hard to see people struggle like that, but they have lessons that they have to learn. I just want to keep going w/this program. I have plenty of complications in my life, but one of them isn't alcohol addiction. For that, I'm very grateful.

Mary

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

DG,

I believe this opportunity presented itself to you because you are ready and you need it.

I also believe that helping others in sobriety does help us. It keeps our eyes open to what it was like in the beginning. You know, that adage that the further away from our last drink, the closer we are to our next?

Actively engaging in supporting someone new and struggling will help keep you away from that next drink.

I hope I can get to a meeting today. I need a sponsor!!

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

Cindi: So glad to see you here. A sponsor is a wonderful support to have, even after completion of the steps the first time. I call mine from time to time just to let him know what I'm doing. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

Thanks Phil (yes, I think HP!), WF, Mary and Cindi for your kind words of support! Spent some time after this mornings meeting getting to know my new sponsee a little bit. She is a delightful young woman overflowing with two key ingredients for success - WILLINGNESS and enthusiasm. Especially willingness. Oh how I wish I would have been willing to admit my alcoholism at 29 instead of 49! But that of course is water under the bridge now. We got her set up with a Big Book and 12 & 12 Book. We agreed to the first homework assignment that my step coach did with me - we will both read (a re-read for me) Chapter 1 (Bill's Story) then meet to discuss our thoughts on Bill's story and how we both relate to it with our own stories. Next we will work on Step 1.

Cindi I hope you are able to get to a meeting since that is your goal! And I hope the right person comes into your life soon who will make a good sponsor for you.

OK - off for my final day of preparation for Step 5. Deep breath.

I hope everyone is having a solid sober day. Strength and hope!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 17 - 23

DG: You can't imagine how wonderful you'll feel after you've done step 5. Mary