Announcement

**Cinders** · August 24, 2009, 07:58 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

I posted this on last week's thread, so repost it here:

DG, Thinking about you this morning and praying your 5th Step is a positive step for you!! Also hoping the Sister gets a good meal out of you. :H:H

Mary, :l I am so happy and proud of you.

Love,
Cindi

**Winefree** · August 24, 2009, 10:22 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

On vacation, but amazingly have internet access(cell phones barely work here). So glad to be on and reading here today.

Mary, I can truly relate to the resentment and self pity statements. I was in my first situation last night where there was a lot of drinking. I luckily wasn't tempted to drink. Drank ice decaf/herbal tea all evening, but as the evening progressed, I started to feel sorry for myself not being able to drink and have a good time. I initially showed up feeling good and wanting to dance, but quickly went down to the pitty pot and lost my enthusiasm. Eventually had to leave and have a good cry and then realized I was having self pity and I needed to stop. There were so many other strong emotions going on there that my not being able to drink should have been the least of my concerns.
It is the first year here(it's a family get together vacation), since my brother passed. He loved this place. My sister-in-law, (Mary!), has to handle her feelings being here alone for the first time. My mother who is 87, is steadily going downhill mentally. My younger sister is handicap from a stroke a few years back and struggles to get around. So my not being able to drink seems like a small problem compared to what others are dealing with.

I am looking forward to attending a local AA meeting tonight. I think that is going to be very beneficial to my sanity while I'm away. And of course coming to the forums here now that I know I can get internet access.

have a good Monday all.

Winefree

**Cinders** · August 24, 2009, 10:44 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

WF,

I had a small pity party last week at the hotel. I went to the bar to eat some food, much cheaper there than in the hotel restaurant and have a strict per diem, it is usually not a problem. But there was a group of women at the bar and the bartender and these women were having so much fun mixing all kinds of different drink concoctions and drinking them.

They invited me over and we were chatting. I explained I couldn't drink but deep inside so wished I could join in the "fun." Well. I didn't. I ended up having to explain gently that I simply cannot drink, that I had done all my drinking and that it was not an option.

Before I left, one girl fell out of her barstool and another woman, my age, was in tears sobbing because of a friend and her sister both being diagnosed with breast cancer. Now, I am not minimizing her fear and concern for her sister and friend, but I so recognized the state of drinking way too much and finding yourself in self-pity mode.

About that time, I left and went back to my room and was so thankful I did not partake.

The whole incident ended up being a very good reminder that drinking just isn't fun at all.

Cindi

**retteacher** · August 24, 2009, 01:02 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

I haven't been around excessive drinking lately, but your story, Cindi, is such a good one to remember. I would have been in the thick of it w/those women. Also, think of the money you saved. I think of the money saved in terms of actual events like taking the g-kids out for pizza or something like that. Good for you Cindi! Mary

**retteacher** · August 24, 2009, 02:51 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

I just wanted to post a little about doing the steps. For me, it has made a huge difference. I was lucky in that I was able to get an experienced sponsor right away. Some AAers struggle for months until they get one. Also, my sponsor didn't recommend waiting to do the steps. Some do. I think they are important to start ASAP. I can always do them again if I want. The first time around is important to really establish sobriety as a way of life. An added benefit for me has been an elimination of the cravings to drink. I'm amazed at that fact: when I've had periods of abs in the past, I always white-knuckled it, always feeling deprived & wanting it. Now, I just know that drinking is not for me, & I'm coming to accept that. This does not mean that I won't ever think about it. I know that AL is "cunning, baffling, & powerful," so I'll always be on my guard.

Right now, I'm working on step 10 which I think is a life-long process.

Mary

**Doggygirl** · August 24, 2009, 04:09 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Gotta make this quick as my garden is either enjoying or suffering from my neglect over the last few days! (probably enjoying the time being at peace without my tinkering ways )

Sister does steps 5, 6 and 7 back to back if she feels a thorough understanding of the character defects was developed through 4 and then 5. So...she feels I am ready for Step 8 after a bit of a break. And I will admit I've put a lot of effort into Step 4 and then prep for 5 over the last several weeks so I am ready for a mental break! Mary and others are right. There is a HUGE sense of relief that comes with doing steps 4 & 5 as thoroughly as possible. I'm glad my coach called me out on the fact I was "holding back" a couple of secrets and strongly suggested I include them in Step 5. I'm glad I did. Sister reassured me that I was forgiven for these darkest of my secrets long ago and that felt really really good. I will admit that I through a couple of kleenexes.

Lunch was very fun and yes Cindi, the Sister got a good meal out of me!! I rarely go out to eat these days (which is fine with me - I like to cook at home). I told Sister I would rather have one really nice meal on rare occassion that to eat out weekly at McDonalds. So we went to a little German place and had Weiner Schnitzel - it was very good! Our waiter was from Albania and there was a lively discussion about the prospects of Sainthood for Mother Teresa - I guess the speed of these matters depends a bit on the nationality of the prospect and the current Pope. But all agreed that there will be if Sainthood is not forthcoming in a reasonable time frame. You heard it here first!

Sister offered to sponsor me as she is old school about male / female issues and sponsorship. That would be fine by me. I feel like a lucky girl - I went from no good sponsor to 2. A good day all in all. Sister did something very very very very special. She is 12 years sober and she gave me her 12 year coin. She said that she will not be here to pass it along to me in person when the time comes (she has some pretty serious health issues) and so she wants me to have someone present it to me when I reach 12 years sober. I was completely floored. The love and fellowship in this program is truly amazing. I am so glad that I went there just over 6 months ago. People can call AA crazy and cult like all day long. This program is helping a lot of people get sober and stay sober. And like it. And live again. And maybe even learn to love ourselves and others again. Bring it on I say.

She also told me that if I ever drink again I will end up with her walker wrapped around my head which she says would definitely not be a good look for me. If I ever see her with a ruler in hand I will RUN.

WF, I think you will really love the results of the steps once you get going. The hardest part I think is getting started. Step 4 was especially that way for me. But for me it has been well worth doing. I am learning a lot about myself and by unloading the baggage of my past I know my future can be bright. And sober.

OK - off to the garden now. Thanks to all of you, my MWO / AA friends for your support. I will not forget this day for a very long time.

DG

**Doggygirl** · August 24, 2009, 04:22 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

OK - now I'm finally in the correct weekly thread LOL!!! I originally posted the one right above this to last weeks thread. Then I went to move it to this week's thread but accidentaly pasted it to the Daily thread. So now I have myself thoroughly confused!!

Anyway.....Resentments and pity parties are something I can certainly relate to! WF and Cindi, I'm so glad I have very little obligatory time that I have to spend in drinking or bar type situations. I am still really challenged by that. I just resent having to be around drinking and that is something I will need to get over. There are a lot of "normies" in the world and there is no reason they can't drink just because I can't. And for business and family events and other things, there are appropriate situations for AL to be served or for an event to take place in a location where AL is served and I need to get over it. I resent having to be there at this stage more than have a desire or feel WuzRobbed because I "can't" join in. But none the less - I'm still not able to relax and enjoy or fully experience whatever else is going on in the room. So it's still a problem that I feel I need to work on. (otherwise I will be miserable any time I'm around AL for the rest of my life and I think there is a better way!)

Mary, I'm really unclear about the logic for waiting on the steps too. I feel like I am "getting" AA by working the steps and I had great difficulty as you know trying to work with a sponsor who was NOT into vigorously working the steps. I also really feel empathy for the difficulty finding a good sponsor. I hope I will be reminded forever that I need to give back what has been so freely given to me by my coach, and now by Sister and this program.

WF - I'm sure this trip is a difficult one for you and especially for some of your family members. I wish you well. I hope getting to a meeting helps. I feel like I get "grounded" whether a meeting is one I consider "great" or just a meeting that is familar and comfortable like an old pair of shoes. I hope it's that way for you while you are on the road.

Cindi, I would have been the one falling off the bar stool. Good for you being able to walk away.

Mary you are making such awesome progress. Yes - I believe you are into the "lifetime maintenance" area of the work now! Congratulations again on your 5 months and on your progress into a sober way of living.

DG

**Winefree** · August 24, 2009, 10:14 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Doing better tonight. Thanks everyone for responding. I was able to get to the local AA mtg and felt welcomed. Even was given a wooden coin that said visitor and welcome on it. One of the ladies even gave me her phone number in case I needed to call someone nearby and several came over to talk with me after the meeting. It really is nice to feel part of the group and not alone.

We read from As Bill Sees It and discussed the reading. Over 50 people at the meeting in a rural area. Amazing how this disease hits so many of us.

Winefree

**Doggygirl** · August 25, 2009, 06:39 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

WF, very glad to hear you are feeling better about things. I haven't been out of town yet to experience first hand how a meeting somewhere else might help. So I really appreciate when you and others share about that. You have convinced me that when I DO travel in the future, I will be well served to find out about meetings at the destination as part of my travel planning. It's interesting how different groups have different chips for things. A visitor chip sounds nice!

It's funny how things work out - my sponsee is an early bird too. I told her she was welcome (and more likely to catch me in a talkative mood!) in the early mornings more than the evenings. We just got off the phone. I really feel for her as she has some significant back pain issues - part of what led her to problems with prescription drug dependence in addition to alcohol. Several years ago I went through bad back pain and eventual surgery and drank like a fish (of course) through the whole thing. I can't imagine how it must feel to be dealing with such pain and only one short month ago having given up AL, Nic, prescription and street drugs. Thinking about how she must be feeling physically brings a new appreciation for me to the concept of "one day, or even one moment at a time."

WF I hope you and everyone here have a great sober day today! OK - I'm off to AA then leads group then personal torturing. Life is good.

DG

**retteacher** · August 25, 2009, 07:34 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Firstly, congratulations DG for completion of step 5. That is a huge accomplishment! Receiving that 12 yr. coin is an added gift.

Secondly, regarding feeling cheated that I can't drink: I can honestly say that I don't feel cheated. I know when I go to an event where there is drinking, I won't drink. I know that I'll feel perfectly fine the next day. I know that I'm not putting something poisonous into my body. It's all good. Because all of our friends are very mod drinkers, there really isn't any kind of change in them that I have to cope with. I'm lucky that way. That said: Sat. night, my sponsor & his g-friend & another non-drinking couple are coming for dinner. I won't be serving any AL which feels great.

DG: I did work on steps 6 & 7...doing all the readings & taking notes. However, steps 8 & 9 were a real challenge. I really learned something about humility by asking forgiveness for the wrongs I had done. It isn't easy, but again, like step 5, life-changing.

No, I cannot understand the "wait to do the steps" philosophy. I'm on maintenence now which feels great. I do step 10...apologizing as needed. In the past, when I needed to apologize for something, I drank instead. Where's the sense in that? If I feel a need to do the whole shebang of the steps again at some time, I'll do them. In the meantime, I'm going along OK...except of course, for the daily internal house-cleaning that needs to be done.

Have a great day everyone. We're having the g-sons overnight tonight so my daughter & SIL can go out for dinner w/friends. It should be fun...pizza, ice cream, etc.

Love, Mary

**cpn1004** · August 25, 2009, 10:47 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Love to you all for sharing.
Have a great day,
Phil

**retteacher** · August 25, 2009, 01:42 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Phil: Good to see you here. Those guys that led the newcomers' meeting you went to...are any of them sponsor-material? Even if you concentrate on the first 3 steps, it's a great start until you feel more comfortable as a sober person. Something to think about.

I really love coming here & seeing what you all have to say.

Thank you, Mary

**retteacher** · August 26, 2009, 10:36 AM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Hi All: The g-sons just left. We had a ball. I can hardly believe that, in the past, I had them overnight while under the influence. Did I think it would make things easier? Stupid alcoholic thinking...no wonder the AAers call it stinkin' thinkin'. It doesn't make any sense at all.

I missed my usual Tues. speaker meeting last night. I'll probably go to the step meeting tonight. It's on step 11. I could use an infusion of spirituality.

Mary

**Doggygirl** · August 26, 2009, 05:57 PM

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Hi there Phil and Mary! And anyone else who is "lurking" or just doesnt' have time to post!

Well, my "vacation" before officially starting Step 8 still includes homework! I have a list of positive affirmations that I am to read aloud while looking in the mirror 3X per day. LOL I hope there is no video camera hidden anywhere! I am to say the 7th step prayer (in addition to the others I say anyway) every day for 30 days. I also got assigned a couple of stories to read from the Big book. (Physician Heal Thyself and Jim's Story). I think those stories were chosen base on the gal I am temporarily sponsoring but I will know better once I actually read them! I hope my sponsee is doing alright. She came in to the meeting I was chairing this morning, but she had to leave early to get to work on time so we didn't really have much of a chance to talk. She is not only dealing with no AL, NIC, Prescription drugs or street drugs 30 days in, but is dealing with some serious back pain which I think contributed to the drug problems in the first place. She didn't look very good this AM. I don't think she was using or hung over - I think her back was killing her. I had back surgery about 5 years ago - maybe 6 by now. I drank HARD through the pain. So I think I recognize the pained look on the face. That's a lot to deal with all at once. She is still in an outpatient program so will be there this evening again after work. So at least away from temptations.

The discussion at the meetings yesterday and today was really good as the group has been keeping the focus on step work and the program, rather than drifting way off of that center line which sometimes happens. I appreciate all meetings but this week continues to be particularly good for me.

I've been trying to give myself a little bit of a break with some lighter reading so I've read a few more pages of "Undrunk." I really like how he describes the spiritual part of the program "sneaking up on him." That's what seems to be happening in my case so I can relate. I'm really enjoying that read so thanks again Phil for the recommendation!

I'm glad I finally darkened the doors of AA. I really do like being in the company of folks who understand without judgement what the drunken years were like, and what the challenges of long term sobriety are. Now that I hold hands with these people every day, I can't imagine NOT having them as part of my life and sobriety. We are a diverse bunch of nuts that's for sure.

Yesterday I was at a business leads group meeting not too far from the Alano club where I had just come from a meeting. Through the restaurant window, we saw the homeless guy with the dog go by who I have gotten to know and like. He's a very interesting person and is very strong in the spiritual sense. He doesn't expect or need any sympathy. Of course the people I was sitting with at the restaurant commented how they see him around town and what a sad case and his poor little dog, etc. etc. I can see why they all thought that but it was quite a lesson that you really cannot judge things by what you see on the surface. Of course I couldn't say anything but amazingly, I was thinking more of his anonymity than my own. For me, that is personal progress. He is someone I am NOT ashamed to call my friend, and if it were ever appropriate to call him my friend even if that meant also giving away my AA status, I would do it in a heart beat. That was an interesting self observation to make.

Well, it's been a long afternoon of canning tomatoes so I'm going to hit the shower and then see what's on Tivo. Have a good and sober one all!

DG

Welcome Guest to My Way Out Forums.

Announcement

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment