Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Greetings all,
At our 630am meeting today we had a newcomer. I really love those meetings. It was a joyous event (for me) I hope Neil got something out of it too. I'm just starting the prep work for step 4. I realized that I have quite a bit of resentment for my boss. So that will be fun to work on.
Have a great week,
Phil

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Back from my brief vacation. Thankfully still sober. I was so grateful to be able to come to MWO while away and feel I was with friends who understand what we all go through keeping away from AL. It was a learning experience as well as a growing experience. I was able to confide in a couple of family members about my problem with alcohol and tell them I was getting help. Additionally the AA meetings away from home were a godsend(think higher power)!
Thanks for all your words and advice.
Have a great evening.

Winefree

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Gosh! Everyone's program sounds so great! You all make me proud to be an AA member. Yesterday's daily web readings were interesting. The one on not "banning" anyone from meetings, regardless of how many times they relapse seemed particularly compassionate. I've seen that over & over. There's one guy who has gotten a newcomer's chip several times in the 5 months I've been in program. There's another guy who had a melt-down in a meeting. Both are still coming to meetings & welcomed. I guess that unless it jeopardizes the meeting in a serious way (one of the traditions), no one can be banned. It's all about recovery & when people are ready, they will stop drining.

The other reading that struck me was about really confessing our wrongs to another person. There's no getting out of it. In Alanon meetings, I've heard people say that they make amends by changing their behavior. But, for me, that's not enough. I had to confess (in steps 5 & 9) to the wrongs I had done regardless of how painful & embarrassing it was. I needed to ADMIT my mistakes. I think that it's crucial.

See you all later.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Hi Everyone:

Last night's meeting was on Trad. 8...keeping AA non-professional but employing some paid workers. If you needed to swipe your credit card upon entering a meeting or pay a sponsor on an hourly basis, AA would be a whole different ball-game. I happened to be sitting next to my sponsor at last night's meeting, so it was w/a lot of pride & gratitude that I could praise his dedication & service. I wouldn't be where I am today (& yes, I am a beginner w/a lot ahead of me) if not for my sponsor.

I received my 5 month chip from my home group last night. It meant a lot.

What a journey this has been since 2007 when I first came to MWO. I've had many ups & downs, but the journey really did start when I joined MWO. Before that I was still in deep denial about my drinking.

Thank you all for being here.

Mary

[Determinator]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

enjoying reading everyone here

yesterday near noon I unexpectedly found myself near a place that I knew had meetings so I popped in and caught a meeting I'd never been to. it was a BIG room and no speaking for me (I'm ok with that, I'm new to AA). the subject was 'fellowship'. if they would have pointed me out to speak first I would have been stumped. this subject is really a weak point for me, as I've always been such a loner.

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Det, be a loner, it don't matter. Keep coming back.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Deter: I don't speak very much at meetings. Actually, now that I've been in AA for a while, I'm forcing myself to say something. I feel that something I say might just help someone. It feels a little like 12th step work to come out of myself & speak up. Also, speaking at meetings helps me come out of that narcisistic self-consciousness that I have...everyone isn't looking at & evaluating me when I'm visible at meetings.

Last night, the BB meeting was quite good. The final thoughts were about the alcoholic that looks OK on the outside. That was me. I maintained a profession & family life adequately. However, my mental, emotional, & spiritual self was very, very sick. I did share that the functionality of my life kept me in denial for a long, long time. "I can't be an alcoholic if I have a life that's working OK."

Tonight, we're having an AF dinner party...an AA friend & his GF & another non-drinker & her BF. It'll be good to have good food w/non-AL drinks all around.

Mary

[Determinator]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

thanks Phil and Mary et al. interesting. I really came to know and understand the meaning of 'fellowship' after I first found MWO in 2006. it was like a warm feeling came over me and I had found a family I didn't know that I had.

Mary, enjoy your AF dinner....sounds grand!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Deter: I know you're interested in food. This is a Sicilian dinner (my husband & my roots):
-Pasta alla Norma (the signature dish of Sicily)
-Fish Syracuse style
-roasted veggies
-etc.

Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Mary, your situation sounds a bit like mine. Functional at work, making a good living, running a home etc, but I drank in the evenings to get away from the stress of the day. Sure kept me in denial for a long time too, even though deep down for a long time, I knew there was a problem.
Well, those days are gone and now it's time for recovery. I need to hear all the things at the AA meetings to keep me aware of how things were when drinking and how easily they can go back to that place, I no longer want to be in. I too only share if I feel I have something worthwhile to say, but am getting less and less self-conscious as time goes by.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Oh, Mary, what is Pasta ala norma and Fish syracuse?

Winefree

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Hi everyone! I really enjoyed catching up on the posts here this morning. It's been a very busy week filled with a wide range of "life" and I'm grateful to be sober!

Phil, I can really relate to what you said several days ago about feeling joy in a newcomer. There are a couple of new folks in the 7AM meeting I attend most days and watching them go from sitting in the back of the room to sitting up at the table and then speaking and then volunteering to read something....it just really makes my heart sing. I can understand what my coach means when he says that he "loves watching recovery." One guy this week who is always quiet and is court ordered to be there spoke up recently and just said "I got a sponsor." Then a couple of days ago he just said "I really like coming here every morning." That is especially heart warming as it (sadly) seems most of the court ordered folks are just going through the motions. (which is understandable - there are many many years of my drinking career where that's what I would have done too, I'm sure.)

This was one of those weeks where so many of the meetings were really relevant for me and I wish I had them on tape! The one on Thursday was particularly good about amends. The lead and then subsequent discussion got into examples of amends - Mary your post about "living amends" really spoke to me. In this meeting, the "long timers" talked about a huge difference between a "living amend" that is designed to avoid the amend, vs. a true living amend that has meaning. Example of living amend that seemed to me to have meaning:

1. One woman borrowed a lot of money from her mother when she was drinking. When she went to pay her mother back, her mother would not accept the money. At her sponsor's recommendation, this woman now sends her mother (who lives in a very remote area) a monthly "care package" that contains items her mother likes, but can't really find / buy in the remote area where she lives.

2. One guy stole a pair of slippers from shoe store that is no longer in business. The guy thought he was "getting out of" an amend since the store was closed. His sponsor suggested that he buy 10 pairs of slippers and donate them to the local woman's shelter.

There were tons more real life examples that people brought up of amends they did when initially, it seemed that making an amend would not be possible. This really opened my eyes as I get ready to work on steps 8 & 9. I also saw this week that my harms list from step 4 is nowhere near a complete amends list.

It really does feel good to me, this house cleaning process. I have no regrets over deciding to check out AA even after nearly 9 months of sobriety. Deter, the fellowship is a huge part of it too. I'm not personally so much into the social things (lots of picnics this summer, as an example) but I can see how those things are very valuable to many. But I love the commaraderie in sobriety. I love the meetings and sharing of strength, experience and hope. I never thought I would develop such a wonderful relationship with a Nun of all people! (one example)

Anyway....big hello to everyone that I have not mentioned specifically! I've got to run if I am to get to the 7AM meeting on time. Have a wonderful sober day everyone. Strength and hope to anyone struggling. Never give up.

DG

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

goodmorning all,nice to see Aa is making a difference,i was at a meeting yesterday morning interesting,drinking vs sobriety,the struggles of both,i couldnt stay long,cant seem to sit long,my neck,one of the struggles i have is siting at a meeting and the book is passed,if you cant read should you try at a meeting,,or if your quiet talker, should you talk,one of the best things ive lerned from treatment was to say little and listen,if your illiterate can you understand,or do you just beleive gyco

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Our dinner went very well last night. It's a very different dynamic when there is no AL. We only served sodas & iced tea. Those few first moments of awkwardness that are usually relieved by AL lasted a little longer. However, all went well, & everyone warmed up to each other. We ended the evening playing Scattergories. There was no slurring or endless repetitious conversation. We were all alert enough to play a challenging word game.

The amends process is truly amazing. In admitting my wrongs, I also committed to "amending" my behavior. That is, if I was dishonest, I committed to rigorous honesty...& really meant it! Now that I have done it, I really feel that coming out in the open & admitting my wrongs changed everything in my life. Nowadays, I monitor what I say. If the slightest exaggeration or white lie passes my lips, I go back & correct myself. For many years, I lived a lie w/my hidden drinking. I can't go back there, ever!

Take care one & all. If you are lurking & would like to ask questions or make a comment, please feel free to jump in & ask. This thread is for people whose goal is sobriety, who are using or thinking of using AA to attain that goal.

Mary

PS: Chief, I think of you now & then. I hope you are doing OK. I know you're going through a hard time. It might help to reach out.

[Determinator]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Gyco, I'm sure if you tell the speaker that you have trouble reading they will be just fine with that.

that last question you ask is very interesting:

if your illiterate can you understand,or do you just beleive

in answer to that, I'd just make the observation that literacy and understanding are quite different as I understand them. I've seen a great many very educated people stumble with some of the most profoundly simple of life's challenges in the 'real world'. I'd say literacy has little to do with it. And to 'believe' is a very personal thing. First we understand, then make the choice to believe, or not to. sometimes I think this process takes a while too. I heard the phrase 'know thyself' for years and never thought much of it until just a couple years ago.

Mary, I'm going to look up your traditional 'old country' meal....I'm intrigued.

very interesting thread thanks to you all. DG, so glad your onto 8 and 9. 7am meeting on a Sunday? wow! now that's discipline!

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Aug. 24 - 30

Not everyone needs to read at meetings when the reading is shared by all. If someone does not want to read, they just say pass. No one thinks anything of it. Sometimes the readings are somewhat difficult to interpret and it is good to be at a meeting and have others give their views to help understand some of the AA literature.

Still can't do any 7a meetings. They are too darn early for me. Luckily I live in an area where there are meetings in the evenings or late afternoon.


Winefree