Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

Mary I hope the surgery goes smoothly! We will be thinking of you.

Phil, I hope your meeting went well last night and that you've got your mojo back!

WF - to me this is priceless:

We have to take the good with the bad and learn how to live day to day without numbing our feelings. Why on earth did I think *my* life was to be perfect, and if it wasn't I had the right to just abandon all responsibility and check out? Talk about a big ego.

Deter it's wonderful to see you as always. Are you still on the road today?

I love the Daily Reflections reading today.

Daily Reflections


FINDING "A REASON TO BELIEVE"
The willingness to grow is the essence of all spiritual
development. As Bill Sees It, p.171

A line from a song goes, ". . . and I look to find a reason to believe .
. ." It reminds me that at one time I was not able to find a reason
to believe that my life was all right. Even though my life had been
saved by coming to A.A., three months later I went out and drank
again. Someone told me: "You don't have to believe. Aren't you
willing to believe that there is a reason for your life, even though you
may not know yourself what that reason is, or that you may not
sometimes know the right way to behave?" When I saw how
willing I was to believe there was a reason for my life, then I could
start to work on the Steps. Now when I begin with, "I am willing. .
. ," I am using the key that leads to action, honesty, and openness
to a Higher Power moving through my life.

I remember when I first started going to AA and struggled mightily with the higher power / spirituality concept. It is still so hard for me to accept and have faith in something that I can't completely understand and *know* and LOL, of course, CONTROL!!! :H It was suggested to me that I read Chapter 4 - the Chapter to the Agnostic to get a better understanding of the AA position on HP. I read it, I didn't get it. I read it again and I didn't get it again. Repeat. Repeat more. When it really hit home for me was when I read this one sentence in the 12&12 under Step 3 about willingness:

Practicing Step 3 is like the opening of a door which to all appearances is still closed and locked. All we need is the key, and the decision to swing the door open. There is only one key, and it is called willingness. Once unlocked by willingness, the door opens almost of itself.....

My coach gave me a book mark that has several key AA words / phrases, and the page numbers on which they appear in the big book. The word "willingness" has more listings than any other word - on this book mark there are 23 pages listed with the willingness reference. And I think on some of those pages the word is used more than once.

I like that. I'm willing to try. I'm willing to consider new ways of looking at things and doing things.

DG

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

I've been willing to try all this since April, since nothing else was working and I needed to make changes immediately to start living my life. Willing to quit drinking no matter how hard, willing to make needed changes in day to day life and how I respond to it, willing to change my attitude and reactions to daily challenges, willing to see a power greater than myself and asking for that higher power to guide me in my daily struggles of life.
So far all this willingness is paying off and each day is a true blessing. (Even though today was a tough day at work, a meeting and then a workout at a gym, was so much better than that bottle of wine).(I never thought I would ever say that).

Winefree

[Determinator]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

Winefree, so glad to hear the good news. you are stronger than you realize.

yep Dg, back home tonight

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

After 4 months of AF I drank again and again picked up a white chip. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Determinator]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

PP! so sorry you're frustrated. I'm not an AA pro, I'm still new with it but I'm quite experienced in falling down and getting up. come and chat more often if you can. be nice to catch up with you.
what do you think is the reason you picked up the drink again?
xxxx

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

WF, you really have a good program going on. I'm so happy for you! I'm with you on the meeting + workout being better for me than a bottle of poison oops I mean wine. (sorry - I MUST think of booze as poison as that's what it is for me...)

Glad you are on your way home Deter! Hopefully in time to enjoy a nice long weekend??

PP, I'm glad you are back with us. Funny - we were talking about "advice" at the meeting this morning. We talked about the fact that there is such a fine line between sharing our stories and being examples of what is possible in life without booze and trying to "push" ideas on other people. LOL it occured to me I did a lousy job trying to be my own HP - I certainly would make a lousy HP for somebody else! :H At any rate...back to your question. The suggestion that pops to my mind is maybe to look around, and find someone you identify with in terms of their story, and also how you want your life to be. Then figure out what they are doing and see if it works for you too. Dust off and carry on. I'm guessing you learned something. And in less than the 8 months it took me. That's good.

I really love starting my day with an AA meeting. I never thought I would say that. It was my own choice to do the "90 meetings in 90 days" thing when I first started going. I had heard that AAers (or judges??) recommend (demand?) that. Since I wanted to really get the full AA experience to prove it wasn't for me once and for all, I figured I better do it like the pros say to do it. I'm glad I did because for me, this daily (or multiple X per day if I missed a different day) activity:

* Established a new routine that I am actually quite happy with today. (didn't always feel that way)

* I've gotten to know a lot of people who I can really identify with in terms of AL addiction. And they come from all walks of life and I've come to value that a lot.

* I have put any questions in my own mind about my true status as an alcoholic to rest once and for all.

* I've had a chance to really see what the program of AA can do in people's lives when they choose to fully live it. And I want that kind of living for myself.

* I didnt' drink and the obsession with it has all but left me most of the time.

Willingness and an open mind, and for me the 90 day committment have been good.

I'm doing my homework which right now, is read Step 8 info in the Big Book daily, say the 7th step prayer daily, write something in my gratitude list daily, and say my affirmations in the mirror (boy does that feel silly!) 3X per day. Life is good.

How are you doing Phil? Any homework you want to share about?

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

I just talked to Sister on the phone. She is so funny. A young person asked her in a meeting today "How do you get to be an old timer?" Her response? "Don't drink and don't die." :H

DG

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

Haha...I love that...don't drink and don't die Sounds like Sister is a hoot.
Well, I have to pop in here and say thank you to all your wonderful posts. I have been "working my program" and it's good. I'll have 8 months and I'm on the 8th step so I finally caught up to where "I" thought I would be. Funny...when I walked through those doors in Jan, and realized they studied the step of corresponding month I decided "my plan" (ie...not HP's plan) was to do a step a month and then my sponsor took her sweet little time with the 1st 3 steps and I learned patience really is a virtue. I may not be sober today if I rushed through those steps.
Precious, I still feel so new to this but the only advise I can give is what everyone kept saying to me…..keep coming back. Another thing I would recommend is going to women’s meetings and getting phone #’s and calling them. My sponsor calls it building a network. The closer I get to the other women in the program, the more I realize I’m not alone. When we get honest with others, they in turn open up to us and we strengthen one another.

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

OkyDoky,

I am always so grateful to hear from you and your path to sobriety.

Thank You For Sharing. Truly.

Love,
Cindi

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

I posted this on another thread and I am lazy....


Afternoon everyone! Cinders thank you so much for your words in Thursday thread. It really meant alot to me and thank you Wally for the PM and everyone who is being so supportive. I am feeling good and moving forward. When I drank it was not a "slip" and I did it very intentionally. I did it as a sort of science experiment to see if I really had a problem... duh :hitme: So now i know I am a full fledged card carring alchie. I had drinks over two days. It started with a few glasses of wine with my dinner and since that experiment went so well, I repeated it the next time but, with no dinner :egad: The result was not pretty and wow did I have a hangover the next day. I had forgotten that toxic. poisenous feeling.

Now I am, working towards a better me with a little more convection this tiime.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

Everyone: I'm back from Boston w/my husb. His surgery is A-OK so far. I'm doing fine in terms of NOT having thought that AL would be a nice stress reliever. Between the surgery & the broken wrist, this has been a lot. Mary

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

Good to hear your doing ok, Mary. I know this must be hard on you...kudos for not having drinking thoughts. My thoughts and prayers are with you and hubby for a speedy recovery for him. One day at a time...

R2C

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

Oky it was great to read your post. I too am just starting on Step 8 - just reading for now. 8&9 will not only take some work but also require a lot of advice and thought about what to handle and how. You sound terrific and I am so happy for you! It's like somewhere on this journey there is a hurdle in the middle of the road and it's so good to see people make it to the other side of the hurdle. (not that the road doesn't still have bumps!) Gives me hope!

PP - I struggled for years with the question of whether I was really an alkie. Boy I didn't want to be. I wanted to keep drinking. Facing up to being an alkie meant either 1) stop drinking which I didn't want to do and couldn't seem to do even for a day or 2) really be pathetic as a "knowing" drinking alkie (which is actually what I ended up doing for years without fessing up to it). It's really really hard to get honest with ourselves about that - at least it was for me. Frankly I am relieved at this stage of my life to no longer be pondering the "am I an alkie or not" question and just live with the truth and build my little AL free life. I hope it ends up being a relief for your too in that strange sort of way.
Yikes. I bet that was a horrid feeling hangover. :egad: I remember that too. I felt like I was going to die the first hangover after 60 days AF. [edited to add that a death warrant level hangover was not enough to make me come to my senses and return quickly to AFness. It took 8 months of near daily hangovers for that.] I have no idea how I ever managed to deal with those and function with those. Double :egad::egad:

Mary, welcome back. I'm glad to hear the surgery went OK. I am really happy for you getting through this challenging time and not only staying sober, but not really even wanting AL. That shows the kind of progress you are making and you too give me hope that I too can build a life of being able to handle stressful, sad and challenging things sober, and without that obsession. I missed your posts while you were away!

Hello to all others who post or even just lurk.

Todays meeting was another one very, very relevant for me. It was about the amends process and once again, the best part was the wide variety of examples given of various amends and the relief to the AAer once the amend has been done. I am learning a lot that I know will have a positive impact on my life going forward. Another thing this entire process is doing for me is REALLY making me think about what I'm doing throughout each day, to try to do the right thing in the first place, and minimize the need going forward for feeling rotten inside, much less having to take inventory and then amend for continued bad behavior. "Do the right thing" seems to have a much greater meaning with these "consequences" to think about. That's a good thing for my pea brain.

Well, Mr. Doggy is going to a dog event this weekend. I decided not to go. It's not a competition event - it's a seminar. I enjoy watching the dogs practice to a point, but this crowd also has some heavy drinkers in the bunch. I just don't want to be around it 24X7 for the whole weekend. I truly have no resentment over Mr. D going. That's a pleasant piece of growth in the last 6 months. I have no problem helping him get the camper stocked and ready. And I have no problem taking responsibility to entertain myself doing things I enjoy over the next few days. Seriously, this is progress for us and especially me!

Later my friends - strength and hope to all.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

Hi Everyone: I'm back. I have a lot on my shoulders right now, but I'm making time for AA & MWO. I need that to continue my sobriety.

PP: I've heard time & again that most people pick up their drinking levels right where they left off when they've had a relapse. I KNOW that would be true of me. I heard that at a meeting a while back from a 15 year sober AAer who thought he might like to have wine w/dinner again. Within 3 days he was drinking in the morning again.

I love the amends process now that I've done the 9th step. I have been making regular amends (10th step) whenever I need to. It really keeps my relationships clear & on an even keel. Sometimes the amends is to myself in the form of not taking on too much or saying "no" to a request that I would have trouble carrying out.

It's wonderful to see everyone's posts.

I'm off to a meeting.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - August 31 - September 6

Everyone: Last night's BB meeting was on the chapter to the agnostic. It was so good to be in a meeting after missing a few due to husb's crises. I don't have a huge problem w/the concept of an HP. I did start down-on-my-knees praying when I got a spons. So far it's one of the things that has kept me sober & not obsessing about AL. I hope everyone has a wonderful day. Mary