tue 1 sept

[bear73]

wow can't believe it's Sptember already - no milk in fridge today so first coffee will have to be at work - boo!
well day 17 af and sf here - must get in shower see you all later lovely abbers

[clare]

tue 1 sept

wow thats great,no alcohol or smoking,good on you.

[speedster]

tue 1 sept

Good September 1st Morning!

Bear -sorry about the coffee but congrats on being AF and SF for 17 days!!

LVT - I so admire you for getting through your weekend of visitors. I'm impressed with how you stayed calm and continued to observe all the poor behavior going on around you. It sounds like it was draining but a reinforcement that being AF and SF is the way to be!

Hula - I've been through the new friends things too and Sweat Betty is right it‘s more like a date and hasn‘t come natural to me at mid-life. Several good friends moved away a few years ago and I was left with no local girlfriends. Just this last year I've started doing things with two new friends. Funny thing is I'm still trying to get use to them calling me. I'm a bit of a loner and it's a little bit of a bother to take the time to get together, but I'm working at it. Neither drink much so this is a great thing.

I am cautious about 40-something women having too much baggage. A few years ago, I had a neighbor who found out I walked in the morning and she asked to join me. She would dump her world on me at 6:00am. She wasn’t event a reliable walking partner and it faded quickly. One new friend is a widow with a boyfriend that has a complicated ex-wife and child. The other has off/on issues with an eating disorder. I’m careful to make sure we have a real activity planned and I am minimizing the phone calls where it could turn into a venting/dumping session. So far I am enjoying the friendships.

DG -- good for you and Mr DG not fighting. It’s a great example of how things would have been blown out of proportion under the influence of AL.

I did not have a great weekend in terms of resentment….I let it build up all week, and I finally let it all out to Mr Speedster. He was annoyed at 1st but overall he seemed to think about some things I said and took it to heart. Went for a nice walk with Pupster after work on Monday and he was chatty. I need to reflect on some of his criticisms of me though and work much harder at being RF.

So let September not only be AF but Resentment Free also!

[Doggygirl]

tue 1 sept

Good morning absters! Thank you Bear for starting us off today and congrats on Day 17 AF/NF!! That rocks. No coffee doesn't rock though. Hope that situation has been rectified by now!

Speedster, the more RF days I manage to somehow get, the more of them I want. I always have to keep going back to the serenity prayer. 9 times out of 10 when resentments get raging for me, it's a result of me NOT accepting something I can't change. I know that some people have the opposite issue more often - having difficulty mustering the courage to change what they can (it's almost never easy or we wouldn't struggle with it!) This is often really difficult (for me anyway) when it involves Mr. Doggy. In fact that's when it's most difficult!

I can relate to your desire for independence when it comes to friends. There is a fine line for me...I would rather be a complete loner than be the target of a Cling-On. (just being honest - not meaning to sound harsh) So I have to really work now at developing some real friendships. I think I will find some lasting friendships in AA. At minimum we have two things in common - the AL battle but (to me) more importantly we are all working on a similar approach to life and it's joys / problems. And it DOESN'T involve becoming a Cling-On. :H

Well - gotta run. Hello to all to come. Deter it sounds like you are still diggin' that new phone! Mr. Doggy just got an iPhone and he keeps telling me I will love it when I get one. I have a non-relationship with my cell phone. I don't feel the need to be deeply connected to a phone of any sort. So we shall see. Hee hee. "my" iPhone can gladly go on the budget back burner after the wheel / tire incident.

Strength, hope, sobriety for today!

DG

[Mstall]

tue 1 sept

good morning bear, buddy speedster and doggygirl

September sure seemed to get here fast. I managed to make it 3 1/2 weeks sober for the month of August and am looking forward to a AF September.

I still have a pack and 1/2 of smokes left before i conquer that too. I'm so impressed with how well you are doing bear!! Congrats!

Hope everyone enjoys this beautiful Tuesday sober! I know I will.

[Marshy]

tue 1 sept

Hello all,

Bear - good going!

Hi to buddy 14 & Speedster.

DG - sorry to hear about the tyre nightmare, but how great that your relationship with Mr D is gong from strength to strength! About phones: I've got a really old (10 years maybe) Nokia. My two young goddaughters think it's the most hilarious thing they've ever seen, because their parents have BlackBerries/iPhones god knows what. They look at mine as though it's come out of the Ark. Haha.

I'm off for a gym n swim. Have a good day all!

[Lavande]

tue 1 sept

Good morning Abbers,

Happy September 1! I love the feel of a brand new month.......new opportunities, new challenges! I'm looking forward to adding to my freedom streak - still need much work on the resentment thing....

Bear, congrats on your 17 days - you must feel great!

Speedster & DG, I'm with you. At this stage in my life I cannot tolerate the cling-on friends. I seem to need a lot of free air space around me these days

Hi to buddy14 & MStall, hope you are having a great day.
Marshy, enjoy that swim!

Time to get to work. Have a great day one & all!

[DogLvr]

tue 1 sept

Bear73 - Congratulations on 17 - that is awesome. And I feel your pain re: the coffee - I'm out of my CoffeeMate creamer - and am working from home today because of my cold. Do I actually venture out into the beautiful 70 degree weather for my fix...Hmm... decisions....

Anyway,
Det - I am happy I logged back on. I've been doing pretty well, but I haven't been abstinent - and I really think I'm a better person when I am - so I am starting my long road again. I hadn't been coming to the site because I use my work laptop - and I get paranoid about who can see my web traffic. I'm seriously considering getting my own desktop just for this privacy.

DG - It's good to see you again and hear you made it through the truck fiasco safely - that sounds pretty scary.

Speedster - I don't know where you live - but you might want to look into meetup.com - they have a lot of different groups that get together - book clubs, women, yoga, whatever you're interested in. I'm just getting started in a few - as I am in a similar situation with very few girlfriends where I live.

MStall - I will try to keep up with you this month.

I hope everyone has a beautiful day - I'm coming out of my fog.

[LVT25]

tue 1 sept

Hello friends!

Thanks Speedster for the kudos, and the reminder about resentment. This is a tough one for me. Just like when hubby drank beer instead of helping me get ready for his sister's visit--I just kept telling myself I didn't want him to help me really, I just wanted to be in control of the situation and I resented the fact that he was "enjoying" himself and I wasn't.
I will work on being RF as well this month!
Hubby hasn't been feeling too great--this time it is some type of pain that migrates from his chest to his back. It's hard not to worry--but he has some issue EVERY time he goes on a binge like last week. I told him I had a theory, and that it had something to do with drinking, and then stopping drinking--it's called WITHDRAWAL. Anyway, he's on some other meds, and he really shouldn't have gotten as carried away like he did with his family....but he is a big boy and hopefully will figure this out eventually.
At times I feel like a crabby old bitch. I need to lighten up, and I'm just not sure how to do that without alcohol. I'm uptight. I'm also a little short on girlfriends at the moment. They have gone away one way or another. One I think is mad at me for something SHE did, but I called her on it, and the others, like me, are simply busy with their own lives. I really have to force myself to make the effort to reconnect. Maybe that would help me find my sense of humor again...
Marshy--I finally gave up my Nokia phone last year. People made fun of me too. One person even asked me why I was carrying my house phone around!:H I got a Blackberry (talk about stepping up!) and LOVE it! Most of the time anyway.
Sending positive vibes out there for all of you starting out on this incredible journey!:h

[namaste]

tue 1 sept

Good Afternoon!
I don't know where the day went, or where August went! I'm here because I think I'm ready to give September a chance by setting a 30 day AF goal. Do you mind if I stick around for a while? Some of you may remember me from a few years ago as Dilayne. I remember some of you.

I posted the following on one of the other threads this morning, just to let you know where I am: ....been back to MWO for several weeks now, back on the topamax for 2 weeks but haven't made any commitments around being abstinent until now, I woke up this morning feeling ready to make Sept an AF month (cringing slightly as I type this). I've done it before..15 years, and many months at a time. I guess I've been drinking most days now since June..was AF for several months prior to that. It's usually 4-5 glasses of wine. A bad day, add a couple beers. I've taken my husband on this roller coaster ride as well..a co-dependent kind of thing. He has exercised abstinence with me for years at time, been the alcohol police at times, but over the past few years, prefers to just join me (it's easier, or it just enables him to feed his addictive nature)..offering to pick up wine daily, whether I ask for it or not. I'm finally putting a plan in place that is not dependent on what he does or doesn't do. It seems he enjoys the excessive behavior without the conscience, and doesn't seem to worry about managing it because I eventually will do it for us! I am untangling from that cycle, and trust that he'll stop when I do on his own. When I quit 20 something years ago, it was for the kids. When I've stopped for long periods of time, somehow it has been entangled with his behavior. This time it has to be completely for myself and unconditional..I am making choices like that in all areas of my life succesfully, and this is no different, and I am confident that with your support, I will get through this hump. So, that is where I am. Hello September!
Namaste'