Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

Yes, take us all with you tonight

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

I WILL have all of you w/me tonight. Thanks so much, Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

Way to go Mary! At our 630am meeting this morning one of guys got his 1 year chip, that was cool too.
Love and Peace to all,
Phil

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

Mary, I can't wait to hear about the meeting last night!

Phil, I can't wait to hear about your chips!! I know they are comin'!!

I should already be out the door this morning for my Friday leads group but am spending a little extra time here contemplating what my sobriety means to me. I am meeting with my sponsor later this morning to work Step 8 and establish the game plan for Step 9. Mustering up the willingness to make amends to them ALL brings on that feeling again of dropping my butt over the edge of the cliff when repelling. It should be an interesting review of a long list.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day! AA if you are reading, I love your new avatar. That is such a good idea I might just have to snitch it!!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

Everyone: It certainly was wonderful to receive my chip last night. My sponsor happened to come in the door a little late & sat right next to me. He too gave me a big hug when I got the chip. To a non-AAer, it's probably hard to understand what that little piece of metal represents. I just know that the promises of the program are being realized in my life in spite of all the issues I'm dealing with.

The meeting was on one of the traditions. It's amazing how a short 12 & 12 reading can spark such an interesting discussion. The basis of the 9th tradition is that there is no organizational structure to AA. Divine inspiration is what I feel happened when Bill W came up w/it. The program has now survived since the mid 1930's w/no CEO, pres, or hierarchy of any kind.

I hope each & every one of you is having a wonderful day so far.

Love, Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

Yeah Mary, we talked about the traditions in our 12 & 12 reading this week. It is amazing how this program has survived for 70 years or so.
I'm so grateful it has.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Phil

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

Phil: I hadn't seen your sobriety date on your signature. It was a big thing for me to put it on mine. I applaud you for doing it, since that must mean your confidence is building. Good for you. love, Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

Hi all! Yes Phil - congratulations on taking that step in your siggy line. :yougo: I too am amazed at the non-organization non-structure of AA and the years of survival. Long before I figured out whether AA was "for me" or not, I could appreciate the value of AA somehow surviving all these eras. I've heard it said often in the 12&12 meetings "I study the traditions because I want AA to be here if my great grandchildren need it..." It's so cool how the members take such resopnsibility for the long term survival of the program.

I just got back from the Step 8 meeting with Sister. We reviewed my harms list and my willingness to make amends to them all. Then we talked about the list and agreed on the game plan for many of the amends (especially the important ones like husband and family) that I need to start making. I was surpised (pleasantly I will confess!) to the number of situations where she did not feel a direct amend was necessary (whew!) but made very specific recommendations about living amends that I must make sure I carry out going forward. A good example is my husbands family, where I certainly drank inappropriately at every turn, but also never really participated in family life. I have never sent birthday cards to my nieces and nephews, etc. THOSE are the things I am to start doing - becoming a respecting and responsible part of family life.

Another suggestion she made for the specific amends I will be making, but also for general purposes in the future is to refrain from saying "I'm sorry..." She feels, and I agree that I've personally worn out that phrase through my drinking career, not to mention how that phrase has gotten worn out in our society in general in recent years. She suggested I use the term "I regret..." instead. i.e. "I regret that in the depth of my alcoholism I missed several important events in your life. Now that I am in recovery I will try to be an active participant in the important events of your life going forward." (this is for one of my friends who I owe a huge amend to)

Anyway...I feel really good about the meeting and about the game plan going forward. It feels good to be cleaning house and feel the weight of the past slowly lifting off of my shoulders.

I also got some much needed guidance on some questions about my temporary sponsee. That is a huge responsibility and I want to do the best that I can during whatever time frame I am working with her. It feels good to have the network of "long timers" there to help. It's a team effort which is good - nothing has to fall only on my shoulders unless I let it. It is taking me time to trust that these people as a group will ALWAYS be there for me. Individuals may come and go but the group will carry on. There is comfort in that.

Onward and forward! Hope everyone is having a great day.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

DG: You had such a wonderful meeting w/your sponsor. I know the amends will go well. I can't tell you how freeing it is to be living an honest life. My husb & I were just talking about some of my hidden drinking today. He was unaware (sort of) but not unaffected. I do like the words "living amends." I too feel I'm doing that daily, especially in the area of honesty (my biggest failing). If I even exaggerate a little or tell a fib to make life a little easier, I've been trying to go back & correct what I said. I'm keeping my life on the up & up.

Love, Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

Everyone: I don't know if this happens to everyone, but sometimes when I share (e.g. last night's BB meeting), I get a huge lump in my throat for seemingly no apparent reason. When I think back on the desperate person I was when I first joined AA, I just feel miles ahead...not that I couldn't slip back at any time. Last night I shared that, in spite of the fact that my parents' situation is very challenging, I didn't feel the need to drink at all. Love, Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

Mary,
I've been going through some tough situations as well and don't have the urge to drink either. I really think it's all about AA and our higher power, who has taken the obsession away. I also truly believe that the alcohol was making me anxious and not taking the anxiety away. Now that I'm not drinking, no more or minimal anxiety and when it does happen, I can ride it out. Is it part of the serenity? I believe so.
AA is working, so I'll keep going to meetings.


MWO is another support system and I'll keep coming here too. You all reinforce what I need to hear to keep me AF.

Winefree

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

WF: I absolutely agree w/everything you just said. Ironically, I drank to ease my anxiety only to have it multiply ten-fold. I was developing all kinds of irrational fears while I was at the height of my drinking. I couldn't drive on the highway; I was afraid to meet up w/people I knew; I was afraid to get up & face the day; etc. I can't live like that anymore.

There are times when I feel a little overwhelmed, but I never miss a meeting if I can help it. Sometimes I say: "I don't feel like going tonight." However, it's only a couple of hours out of my day that I would otherwise waste or spend in some other negative way. Additionally, there isn't a single meeting that I can think of that's been a total waste of time.

As far as MWO: I so look forward to coming here & seeing what & how everyone is doing. I thank God that there is no negativity of any kind (at least on this thread). If we weren't so far apart, I'd say: "Hey, let's get together for lunch some time." Alas, that would be difficult. However, my recovery is surely entwined w/everyone else's here.

Take care one & all. I'll check back later. I'm going to a BB meeting tonight that I really love. I'm going to officially join it, & there's a business meeting afterwards. That makes 2 meetings that I'm an official member of, & I'm secretary of one of them. Feels great to meet these challenges & overcome them. I'm a natually shy person (even though I was a teacher all my life), & going beyond my comfort zone is very, very good for me. It's something I could never do wo/sobriety.

Love, Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread 9/21-9/27

I too thought the AL relieved the anxiety but only found yes, it did make it worse, especially if I didn't have it every day, Mary. It's a vicious cycle, until we stop it for good.
It is great that you have gotten so involved in AA mtgs. My job prevents me from doing that during the week, since I never know when I might have to stay late. If I get to make a commitment it will have to be on the weekend, when I usually don't have to work.

We restarted the living sober book at the mtg this afternoon. I really related to the part that we can take what we want when we are ready and then go back to other parts of AA when we are ready..Keep an open mind and use common sense.

Hope everyone had a great AL free weekend.

Winefree