Friday, September 15th

[Newyear]

Friday, September 15th

Hi
I kept coming on thinking I would post something but just found more to read and ran out of time...

I think I am a queen of idealizing coctail hour, or dinner and drinks or whatever and drinks. One of my favorites is me sitting at an outdoor cafe drinking wine and reading a good book-I'm quite sophisticated looking in that little senario in my head. Unfortunately, every time I try that one I end up back home opening a bottle and then deciding to finish that book a little later..

I feel a little guilty that I kinda started the 'you must name everyone' thing....and now not to name anyone -
yikes, how bad is that?
I think instead I'll just say hello to a few people I know I've never said hello to:
brigid--- hello - and nice reminder about that good feeling you can have in the morning! That has helped me too
lou- I have followed your threads/story and I think you are doing great - good for you and I appreciate you sharing
mary anne - hi- I've only been here let's see - today is day 6 for me so I'm pretty sure if I'm allowed hereso are you not planning on slipping up but if I do I've been assured I can still come back! I read lots of your posts too so wanted to say hello

Hope everyone had a great day. Mine was ok until the end...the dry cleaner lost 2 of the 3 suits I put in so I will have to improvise a little in NO....
Lisa

[Guest]

Friday, September 15th

that was close

Came home the house is a mess--the kids are screaming--and out of nowhere the intense insane urge to drink just literally enveloped me. After about 5 minutes of just being nustso--I started to pray and almost immediately the intensity went away. I called my sponsor and she really helped me. I've had urges before--but that one was close and I am still a bit shook up. It really scared me. I just really wanted to post this because I know this can happen to any one of us out of nowhere. Earlier in the day you can be feeling great and strong--and bam! Just know that it happens to us all--and we can actually live through it. I am going to lay out a plan step by step on the actions I will take before succumbing to drinking and have it on hand ready to use. I might even tattoo it on myself! That way I have immediate actions to take instead of immediately getting in the car to go buy beer. I wish the damn drive-thu beer/wine/liquor store wasn't so close--and didn't stay open until freaking midnight!

Kim

[YoungAtHeart]

Friday, September 15th

Great Job, NOT SUCCUMBING, Kim!!! It is amazing, isn't it??? It's not THAT hard to stay sober when life is running along smoothly, when we can work our plan and stay observant and vigilant--but when chaos knocks you on your butt--WATCH OUT!!! (Or sometimes, when life is TOO SMOOTH we can get out of shape, too!!)

At any rate, Kim, good job for doing all the right things to keep yourself on track!! I hope you are calming down by now and taking a few deep breaths. I'm glad you posted.

I am good at keeping things fun, but I really value the reality and beauty of your posts!! Thanks for sharing the immediacy of your experience with all of us!!

Hugs,
Kathy

[xtexan]

Friday, September 15th

discovery:

I am glad you didn't fall down.

Today marks my 9th month. I stopped all consumption on December 15th.

Even now, it's still like walking through a mine field. One misstep, and the mine blows up in my face, and an almost overwhelming urge to grab booze and cigarettes rises out of my inner core.

I had to completely stop drinking with my old friends. I have not stepped foot in a bar since December 15th as well. It was hard to abandon all my old drinking buddies, but I just had to do it. There is no way I can be around them, and stay the new course.

The simplest things seem to hammer me. A phone call from a customer I have not talked to in months, who used to really take pleasure in berating me, just floods me with the desire to pop a top, or light up a smoke. So I have to be on my toes all the time.

It;s like walking a minefield I tell you. You just have to know where those mines are, and sidestep them.

[gabby]

Friday, September 15th

Kim, That has happened to me so many times. And that dang beer. When your thirsty for it--it can sound so good. uhgg. Anyway, what has helped me many a times is chugging....i mean chugging a bunch of water. And then maybe something sweet like a jolly rancher or tootsie pop. (cv....i know you just read that and pretend you didnt) Maybe not the healthyist thing but it helped me. actually im gonna go get me a tootsie pop right now. bye

[xtexan]

Friday, September 15th

One way I used to deal with it, when it happened at work, was this. As soon as I could, I would leave my office, and get out of the building. Our company is on about 40 acres of land, and has a paved road going all the way around it. I would head straight out the door, and walk as fast as I could completely around the buildings.

Employees would see me doing that, an wonder what the heck I was up to. By the time got back around to the entrance door, my heart would be pumping hard, and I would guzzle as much water as I could. Sometimes, I would make a second trip. The boss would see me doing it, and at least he understood what I was going through, as he has tried to stop drinking and smoking several times himself. He's never lasted more than a week or two though.

So it was sort of "xtexan has left the building!!"

[lushy]

Friday, September 15th

Awesome job Kim. I am not at the stage to be that strong yet..........

[Guest]

Friday, September 15th

thanks everyone

Knowing that I can get a pat on the back will make the next "nutso" moment that much easier!

[vinophile]

Friday, September 15th

Kim,great job on saying no!!!!!!! Do they really have drive-thru liquor stores????How horrible!!!!!!
I too have to get rid of my attitude of "those were the days of wine and roses....and more wine and more wine".I do tend to romanticize my past drinking(although it is mostly the WAY past drinking that I romanticize. Brigid is right though in that if I really look back correctly, so much more would have been accomplished and I think I would have been a much more productive person had I never had a drink. To be even clearer .... I sure hope my kids never drink the way I did.
Back from New Hampshire and all is well. Kathy, I live outside of Boston so the ride is not that far. I'm sure there are hockey parents who would drive from Pa. to N.H. for a game though.My son is 16 and plays at quite a competitive level so the games are rough.I would frequently come home and down the wine to calm me down as I would be on pins and needles all evening worrying that he would get hurt.
Not tonight however. I'm going to chase myself to bed so I don't either eat or drink anything.The I have to get up at 6 so my son and husband can drive back to N.H. for two more games.
Seeyou all tomorrow.I will blissfully be at home for most of the day.
Janet

[mikeupnorth]

Friday, September 15th

Hi all,

I've missed Abbsville today!

it's been a crazy day -- I overslept so didn't have my morning time to read and post, then scrambled all day at work. Since I got off work I've been doing laundry & packing for my trip to Las Vegas. I have to be at the airport at 6 AM. :eeks:

Anyway, I'm all packed now except for the carry-on, so I guess I can rest for a bit. In fact I feel like I'm ready to just crash. But I've been so busy I haven't even had time to think of alcohol!

As for Vegas, I am SO glad my friend is meeting me there. He is very supportive of my recovery and I know I won't drink with him there. I might be able to do it on my own, but it feels good to have the added support.

I will be checking the boards as frequently as I can, and will try to say hello. I'll be back home -- and hopefully back to my "regular" status -- by next Thursday! Love to you all --