Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

Precious, I'm with you at the 4th step. I have to finish by the end of October. It actually feels great to be doing the work.
I too felt a spiritual sense of something when I did the third step prayer with my sponsor. Later that day I felt an immense feeling of gratitude that another human being would care enough to help me get and stay sober.
Pretty damn cool.
Love and Peace,
Phil (in California for a couple of days).

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

At the 5 1/2 month mark here. Having drinking thoughts again today about why can't I have just one or two sometime in the future. Why does that keep coming back? I don't really want a drink right now for any reason, it's the thinking into the future again. I need to get back to one day at a time. I will not drink for today. I am fine with that.

Didn't bring this up with my counselor today, since I didn't really have this on my mind then, so why now? I'm not going to drink today, but wish these thoughts were not here today either.

Thanks for listening.

Winefree

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

One day at a time...keep it simple

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

Hugs Winefree. We tend to have complicated minds that make simple things very complex. Dont overthink it and stick to NOW...the present

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

Hello all! PP - I love your post about keeping it simple and sticking to "now." My mind tends to whirl around at warp speed sometimes (well, LOTS of the time) and that gets me in trouble.

Phil and PP - I found the fourth step to be really freeing once I got going on it. Facing the "wreckage of the past" is worth it because it's the first step towards freeing ourselves from it. What kept me going was a faith in the promises of the program - that DOING that step would pay big dividends in the end in terms of my peace of mind. And for me, that faith was well placed. I too was given a deadline in the form of my Step 5 appointment! I have heard and read from old timers that a deadline for Step 4 is a good way to just Git 'Er Done. My sponsor reminded me that I will come back to this step again in the future, so not to get "stalled" in an attempt to remember absolutely everything.

Well, I have more to post but just realized the time! I have to leave for this meeting as I'm chairing it. I love the Daily Reflections today and that's the topic.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

Hi Everyone: I didn't have a deadline for the 4th, but I know I would have had I gotten perfectionistic w/it. For me, the 4th/5th were important in terms of learning what my character defects are. Now I have a list of 5 or so & ask God every AM & PM to remove them. Are they completely gone? Of course not! But, I'm not walking around unconsciously indulging them all the time.

Regarding the idea of future drinking: the promises say "before we are half-way through, we'll know a new freedom & a new happiness..." By the time I reached the 9th step, I stopped having any thoughts about future drinking or any feelings of deprivation.

Last night's speaker meeting was a woman about my age...it's the first time I've seen that. It was so wonderfully comforting. And you know what she emphasized??? Working the steps. She tried just bringing her body to AA, sitting in the back, not getting a sponsor, leaving early, & not working the steps. You can imagine what that led to: a relapse. It was only when she got a sponsor who led her through the steps that she began to really recover.

Love, Mary

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

Hello everyone,

I had a great meeting last night and am about to sit down and do some Step work.

I did read today's Daily Reflection, as I am sure most of you have, but it spoke volumes to me even though I am far, far away from my 10th Step.

The spiritual axiom referred to in the Tenth Step??every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us??also tells me that there are no exceptions to it. No matter how unreasonable others may seem, I am responsible for not reacting negatively. Regardless of what is happening around me I will always have the prerogative, and the responsibility, of choosing what happens within me. I am the creator of my own reality. When I take my daily inventory, I know that I must stop judging others. If I judge others, I am probably judging myself. Whoever is upsetting me most is my best teacher. I have much to learn from him or her, and in my heart, I should thank that person.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

Cindi: AA certainly is about personal responsibility. I'm no longer waiting for someone else to make me happy &/or fulfilled. It's time for me to step up & do what I need to do to:
-have fun
-accomplish what I want to accomplish
-have a spiritual life
-make meaningful connections
-etc.

I can't wait for someone to do it for me. In addition to being addicted to alcohol, I found myself addicted to people as well...somehow expecting them to do for me what I should be doing for myself. I'm learning to rely on myself & my own HP.

Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

Thanks PP. Keep it simple and don't overthink.
Mary and DG, doing the steps sound like a good idea. Discussed this after todays meeting. Sounds like a good idea and about time.

Winefree

[TakeHeart]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

Not sure I'm in the right spot.....

Trying to decide whether or not to go to an AA mtg.

20 years ago I got a DUI (not even legal to drink...um...is that a problem...hindsight can be so clarifying). Had to go to court ordered AA mtgs and just felt I had nothing in common. Actually made me think I didn't have a problem after listening to their stories.

CUT TO: One of my oldest and dearest friends ( and ironically who I had just dropped off when I got my DUI) has just started AA meetings this week. She LOVES them. And, thinks maybe I should go, too. Unfortunately, we live just far enough away that we can't go together, but am contemplating asking her to meet me in Malibu ( equal distance for us) for my first mtg.

I am so on the fence.

PROS:

* Don't want to be controlled by the monster any longer.
* Am one of those people who want to make myself the best I can be...regardless of drinking. (She says it will help better your life in ways more than just not drinking)
* I would love to have a real person to call and help me with my drinking problem.
* My closest friends have moved away slowly over the past 3 years. I am very lonely and would love to have a group of new friends, esp ones that don't drink so much.

CONS:

* I don't want the stigma of AA
* NEVER drink again???? I have read on the Baclofen thread (which I am ordering) that some people do have an occasional glass of wine and are fine with stopping.
* My boyfriend. He doesn't drink more than one or two drinks a week with the every 2-3 month binge with one of his friends. He was one of those "unfun" nerds, which are his words. At 40 yrs old, he has finally started to let loose alittle. I think there are parts of him that like the party girl in me...yet I also know he thinks drinking a bottle of wine a night is not good (oh, what would he think if he knew it were two?)
* Researching (okay, just looking online) AA has come up with the statistic that 95% of people leave within the first year and the program has dismal success.

I don't know what to do. Would love some thoughts.

[TakeHeart]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

~P.S.~ Not sure if I already have to be in AA to post here.

Apologies if I offended anyone.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

Hi TakeHeart. NO you do not have to be involved in AA to post here! It's MWO!! A very open recovery community and that is still true on this AA oriented thread. This is a great place to ask your question.

Recovery statistics (or any statistics for that matter) can be deceiving depending on how you tweak the source numbers. There is a LOT of court ordered AA. Therefore a LOT of people who have no intention of getting sober by any means (AA or other means) - they just go until they can get their drivers license back or whatever. That is fine. If even one dangerous drinker sticks around and actually quits drinking, then the world is a safer place! But when you see statistics like "95% failure rate" I'm guessing that must include a lot of people who may not even by trying. On the flip side, I have heard really high recovery rates quoted by people at AA that I don't really "buy" either - I think those numbers may be filtered to the positive. The bottom line is that alcohol addiciton is a difficult problem to overcome, and that is true by any measure.

For me, the "pros" that your friend mentioned have been true in my case. I do think an open and willing mind to AA is important. And AA can seem very strange at first - hence the "cult" comments and all of that - the stuff that kept me away for years.

Bottom line is that there is no harm in attending a few meetings and see if you think there is relevance for you. I think trying to meet your friend 1/2 way seems like a great idea. Or go to a few meetings near you to see if you find a group that feels comfortable for you. You won't really know until you try, and nobody will chain you to a chair.

I have to run but I hope this is a bit helpful and I know more folks will be along with good feedback! Whatever you decide, best wishes to you on your journey in LIFE!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

TakeHeart: I had a horrendous experience which brought me to AA. At first, I thought I didn't belong. I hadn't lost family, friends, or home to the disease. However, I knew that drinking a bottle of wine (I'm older than you & can't drink as much) every few days was NOT normal drinking. Normal drinkers don't have to consider the possibility of going to AA. After a while my feelings of "terminal uniqueness" wore off, & I saw that AA was indeed the place for me. I thought my drinking wasn't normal, & I was right. My husb drinks normally, & I can see that I could never drink like that.

As far as never drinking again: The AA stance is that I'm not going to drink today. I can see after 6 months sober & countless relapses prior that I will never be able to have that convivial glass of wine. One sip triggers me into a binge...no question about it. I've gone to get-togethers & have been the only one not drinking. Many of our friends drink but not to excess. At first socializing wo/booze felt a little strange, but lately, I've hardly noticed. I come out of social situations: remembering everything that was discussed & happened, wo/a headache, wo/any nausea, etc. It's nice, because the next day is a regular day instead of a recovery day.

Regarding being the party girl: You have your personality as a fun person. I've found that alcohol allows me to let down my guard a bit. But, in the long run, I ended up MORE guarded, because I didn't want to let on how much I over-drank.

The watershed for me was the drinking alone almost every night. I hid it & recovered in secret. It wasn't fun. I was destroying myself emotionally, physically, & spiritually.

I've seen young people your age at meetings (I'm 64). It's incredibly gratifying to see people w/a long, sober lifetime ahead. That might sound distasteful to you, but after some sobriety, you might see it differently.

If you can, meet your friend half-way & try it w/an open mind. Do you really want to keep drinking a bottle or 2 every night? Really?

Mary

PS: I hope I didn't sound too preachy.

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

TakeHeart,
The reason I'm in AA is due to a close friend of over 40 years. He was hanging with us ( a bunch of drunks) and we thought HE needed help! Well he got it, 2 years sober now due to AA. That got my attention.

In my opinion, there is no stigma attached to AA. Once you attend a few meetings and see the cross section of society, doctors, lawyers, engineers, blue collar, unemployed, retired...and on and on, you will be amazed. I was anyway. Alchohol, as you know, does not care what you do for a living.

Go to a meeting...make that go to several different meetings, you will find a home.
Love and peace,
Phil (working in California and been to three meetings out here).

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 5 - 11

Phil: I love seeing you here & seeing that you are going to meetings & doing well. I'm sure you're finding step 4 quite a revelation, as I did. To me, it opened my eyes about myself. I'm still marvelling at how miraculous it was that a person (Bill W) could come up w/the steps. I just ordered "My Name is Bill W" the story of the founding of AA through netflix. I'm looking forward to seeing it. Mary