bummed out

[1967]

i am back to day one AGAIN!
i can't give up trying! i just can't!
why do i keep repeating the same mistakes? because i've not learned my lesson, this is why.
big sigh.

wine is still engrained in my routine.
i always go to lunch after a saturday SAT and i did yesterday too, and drank!

help! how do i get this alcohol OUT OF MY HEAD?

[greeneyes]

bummed out

1967;733850 wrote: i am back to day one AGAIN!
i can't give up trying! i just can't!
why do i keep repeating the same mistakes? because i've not learned my lesson, this is why.
big sigh.

wine is still engrained in my routine.
i always go to lunch after a saturday SAT and i did yesterday too, and drank!

help! how do i get this alcohol OUT OF MY HEAD?

Just a thought, but maybe change your routine.
For example, go to lunch but go to a place that does not serve alcohol.
You ARE learning and don't discount the days you have done well.
Keep trying.

[redhibiscus]

bummed out

1967, I have had to be really careful about going back to old drinking restaurants. The first relapse I had was going to a pizza place where I always had wine. I only had three drinks that night but set myself up to really drink within a few more days.

I am on board to try new places and make new traditions, AF. It has been hard though, I won't lie. Good luck.

[universal]

bummed out

1967 I feel exactly the same way you do. I can so totally relate.

I am just reminding myself today that this is a disease the same as if I had cancer and I need to take my supplements regularly and take care of myself, my health and my mind. To do that I need to take walks, eat healthy, read etc. Anything to take care of me.

I am hoping that by trying to change my mindset to think more about my health and wellbeing that this will work for me - maybe it will work for you?

Good luck,
Uni

[dill]

bummed out

1967, You lost a battle, not the war!! Just keep at it! You will win in the end. I agree with Greenie. Change your routine. It's amazing what a difference a change in setting will make.

[retteacher]

bummed out

1967: I was the relapse queen. It got so bad that I was embarrassed to even come back to MWO & confess, though I did just to keep myself honest. I finally had a pretty bad experience w/drinking last winter & joined AA. That made all the difference. I know that AA isn't perfect for everyone, but I really needed the face-to-fact committment. There is an excellent AA thread here at 30 day abs that you might want to look into. You don't have to be going to AA to identify. Mary

[My New Beginning]

bummed out

Hi 1967. I can really relate to what you said. Just keep trying and I do believe, like others have suggested that if you just tweek your daily routines a little it makes all the difference. I know it's worked for me. I used to crack a bottle of wine and drink a glass while preparing dinner then finish the entire bottle before bedtime! Now, I come here and read and do a little posting in between preparing dinner. So, by just adding a different 'step' it's kept me away from thinking about the first drink. Whatever works, right? So, could you go to a place that doesn't serve alcohol like a coffee shop for lunch? Good luck to you. It's hard but you can do it!

[1967]

bummed out

greeneyes;733853 wrote: Just a thought, but maybe change your routine.
For example, go to lunch but go to a place that does not serve alcohol.
You ARE learning and don't discount the days you have done well.
Keep trying.

i don't know of one place on this island that doesn't serve alcohol.
you can even get a beer at KFC!
pretty nutty... a good suggestion though. i think i just can't go out for a good long while.
this doesn't seem practical though.

[1967]

bummed out

universal;733864 wrote: 1967 I feel exactly the same way you do. I can so totally relate.

I am just reminding myself today that this is a disease the same as if I had cancer and I need to take my supplements regularly and take care of myself, my health and my mind. To do that I need to take walks, eat healthy, read etc. Anything to take care of me.

I am hoping that by trying to change my mindset to think more about my health and wellbeing that this will work for me - maybe it will work for you?

Good luck,
Uni

thanks for your post.
i really don't want to throw in the towel.
it would be giving up on me, that doesn't make sense.
interesting that you brought up the exercise & eating healthy. this week was a really important week at work and i only made it to the gym once! so, as of tomorrow it is the gym after school, not a restaurant.
it is a problem that i cannot (shouldn't i mean) access the site from work.
i loose track of what is important.
this week i am going to get back on thinking about how i feel throughout the day.
this helps too.

[Lavande]

bummed out

1967,

Perhaps isolating yourself, for just a short amount of time, until you get a good grip on this may help. I pretty much did the same thing last winter when I started here. I didn't go anywhere or see anyone who would have been a distraction. It helped me a lot just to focus on mysef & what was best for me!

Uni gave you good advice! We are treating/coping with a disease. A Diabetic can't pour sugar on his cereal or in his coffee without suffering serious consequences - we can't have AL without suffering consequences!

You can do this, your health & welfare depend on it! Keep trying, your are getting there
Lav

[1967]

bummed out

gosh guys ... okay so try and change my routine... okay.

alcohol is so much part of the culture here!
let me try to find a new place to eat this week that doesn't serve alcohol.
you are so right about not hanging out at old water holes.

[peacenik]

bummed out

how do you feel today 67?
i really try to focus on how BAD i feel after drinking to remind me the next time just how terrible it is. try not to romanticize a drink when you get that itch...remember all the bad things al does.

hang in there!

[greeneyes]

bummed out

It's a bit about potecting yourself too. If you were teaching your kid to ride a bike or drive a car, you'd start in your own driveway, back roads, unpopulated subdivisions being developed. Still riding the bike but not being exposed to the traffic. Slow and steady.

[1967]

bummed out

Lavande;733904 wrote: 1967,

Perhaps isolating yourself, for just a short amount of time, until you get a good grip on this may help. I pretty much did the same thing last winter when I started here. I didn't go anywhere or see anyone who would have been a distraction. It helped me a lot just to focus on mysef & what was best for me!

Uni gave you good advice! We are treating/coping with a disease. A Diabetic can't pour sugar on his cereal or in his coffee without suffering serious consequences - we can't have AL without suffering consequences!

You can do this, your health & welfare depend on it! Keep trying, your are getting there
Lav

thanks for your post lavande.
gosh i feel so isolated as it is, but i think you are right.
i have been able to quit when on breaks from work. this goes fine. it is when i get back to my routines that things go south.
so: i will limit where i go
school (work)
gym
supermarket

and i need one or two places that don't sell alcohol.
i will see what i can't find.
i know of a health food joint that sells yummy foods.
there is a man interested in me at work and i know he will eventually ask me out.
i guess i shouldn't worry about this until it happens.

thanks for the words of encouragement.
i CAN do this but like so many... i cannot moderate. i cannot have one.
because one, over time, becomes 2,3,4...

I think I also need to focus on getting enough rest.