Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 12 - 18

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 12 - 18

I think the most important thing I did in AA was to get honest about my drinking. The dishonesty was what kept the addiction going all those years. "Rigorous honesty"...I find myself going back & correcting myself if I exaggerate a little or misrepresent. I've been asking to have my dishonesty removed when I pray every day. I feel progress in that area. Mary

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 12 - 18

Congrats Phil! on 30 days Remember when you had to remind me that admitting I was an alcoholic was a courageous thing to do? Well, today I can honestly say I am proud to be a part of AA and the wonderful people I have met in the program.
I wish I could go to the convention with you gals....maybe next time...

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 12 - 18

WF, how did your meeting go? Good to hear you are enjoying getting going on your work with your sponsor.

Mary, I sure agree that getting honest about my drinking and it's impact on me and those around me has been a key part of the process of getting sober. I also find that just when I think I'm somehow "done" with the honesty part, I get a stark reminder about it. I think I need those reminders lest I ever revert back to the "I'm not that bad...." BS. That thinking still tries to lurk in the corners of my mind. I need to stay humble otherwise I will be in trouble.

Okey, it's always good to see you!

I'm excited about the convention. I have been really fearful about travel as it ALWAYS involved major drinking - whether business travel or pleasure travel. LOL - I guess "practicing" sober travel for the first time to an AA convention is probably as safe as that will ever get. (although even THIS is not fool proof so I will have to stay humble and know that AL will still be lurking)

Last night I went to an open speaker Alanon meeting. They had 3 speakers - an AA, Alanon and Alateen. It was very humbling for me to listen especially to the Alanon and Alateen speakers - both were very good. It was an "in my face" reminder of the impact my drinking had on others. Like most alkies, I liked to think that my drinking only affected me. If I wasn't violent or cheating on my husband, then "I was OK and just affecting me" in my mind. That is SO not true. Every parent here on this forum who is questioning whether they have a problem with AL should listen to a heart felt Alateen speech.

Well, I am leaving a bit early today for the meeting. My homeless friend with his dog accidentally buried her brush and hair ties () deep in his cart of stuff. So I am going to get my little doggy friend a gift of a small hair brush and some colorful hair ties.

Anyway...strength and hope to all. I was definitely THAT BAD. I am so grateful to be sober today.

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 12 - 18

Greetings all from Florida,
I went to an AA meeting at 530pm yesterday. Since I was coming right from my "work" I was dressed in slacks, nice shirt, etc. This particular AA club is one of the oldest in Fort Lauderdale and appears to seek the down and out folks. So anyway I stood out due to my dress. And for about a millisecond, I thought, "see, I'm not like these people" and then I laughed to myself and said "oh yeah you are, we are alcoholics staying sober one day at a time".

And just like every out of town meeting I attend, they ask for visitors, I introduce myself and am greeted like a long lost friend. Thank God (of your understanding) for AA.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 12 - 18

The "I'm not so bad" or "I'm not like them" type of thinking hits me now & then. Actually fairly often. I was a functional alcoholic...nonetheless, I was an alcoholic. The spiritual destruction I did to myself & the damage to my relationships puts me squarely in the category of alcoholic...no ifs, ands, or buts!

DG: I've traveled sober a few times now. I find that my weakest period of time is when I get off the plane & am at my destination. That's when I always wanted something to unwind. I'm glad you're going to the convention. I think you'll enjoy it tremendouly.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 12 - 18

The spiritual destruction I did to myself & the damage to my relationships puts me squarely in the category of alcoholic...no ifs, ands, or buts!

And for about a millisecond, I thought, "see, I'm not like these people" and then I laughed to myself and said "oh yeah you are, we are alcoholics staying sober one day at a time".

I love these words Mary and Phil! Me too. And if I ever seem like I'm forgetting, I hope you will both kick me on the back side.

I am only now beginning to realize exactly what AL stole from me. Not my house or my car or my husband. My SOUL is what I lost. I might as well have lost all my "stuff" because without a soul and without the ability to feel love and caring towards myself and others, the "stuff" doesn't mean a whole lot.

The quote that has been on my mind a lot this week for some reason is one of step coach's "isms" We don't have to hurt any more unless we want to.

If I feel momentary hurts throughout the day (i.e. at something Mr. Doggy said or did, etc.) then I know I need to adjust something in my spirit. At times it seems like a daunting task to take responsibility for working with HP and my spirit to keep myself on an even track. Sometimes it's easier to just be a victim of everything around me and react negatively to things and just have one continuous all out pity party. But I'm getting to where I really appreciate that peaceful feeling of serenity, and it's worth the effort to get there and try to stay there rather than just "let things go" and then end up in a wad of self pity.

This is going to sound silly, but these are the kinds of silly things that I can let get in my way. Yesterday I was irritated because Mr. Doggy had neglected to put the water softener salt in the water softener despite my reminders and the water softener was empty. So I reverted to old behavior and indignantly, and with great flourish, huffed and puffed the bags to the basement and filled it up myself, with Mr. D as my audience. Then I got REALLY mad because he didn't offer to help. Then I let that indident affect my mojo all afternoon, to the point where I cried over it. Now what's wrong with this picture?????

1. I could have asked calmly to take care of it since the softener was empty.
2. I could have PEACEFULLY done it myself. (I lift far more weight than 40 lbs at the gym every day!)
3. I could have taken down 1 bag just to get it going and asked Mr. Doggy if he would mind bringing down the rest later in the day when convenient for him.

That didn't have to be a big deal resulting in a pity party which only hurt ME and left Mr. Doggy not knowing what the heck he "did to me". (nothing)

So today I have started out as I should with my prayers and will try to remember the serenity prayer and the other tools I've learned to keep my peace through the day today.

In other news..

I have been asked to be a speaker at another club a week from Saturday. I've not been to that club before. A woman from my home club moved there, but still comes back to visit the club where I still go sometimes. I spoke with my sponsor about it and she said I should do it. So I'm a little nervous and have to really get my story organized for the telling. I also need to find out what the time frame is - I forgot to ask that! My sponsor also suggested I get a couple people from the home club that I know to go with me so I'm not going alone to a strange place. So I'm working on that too. Mr. Doggy offered to go but I will need to find out if it's an open meeting and if it is, think about whether I want to be a speaker in this format for the first time with him listening!! I need a little HP help and any suggestions you guys might have to help me get ready for this!!

I'm very happy that I stopped to get a little brush and some hair ties for my friend's little dog. She was sporting her usual pony tail by the end of the meeting. For a long time I have wanted to do something nice for this man. But he seems very self sufficient despite being homeless and I have not wanted to insult him. I'm glad I was patient and just waited for this small opportunity to present itself! He takes very very good care of his little dog. It's been raining a lot this week, so I can understand why he couldn't pull apart his entire cart of stuff to find her brush and hair ties. So I think that worked out fine.

Anyway...I am not going to AA OR my usual business thing this morning as the senior international figure skating competitive season is about to kick off with the Grand Prix in Paris. I will be watching over the net! I might catch a meeting late this afternoon.

Strength and hope,

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 12 - 18

DG: It so hard to swallow that every single time we are hurt, angry, &/or upset that we have some part in it. It is so much easier to blame someone for our feelings. Awareness of that truism is the first step. Actually, there is a concept in the program: The 3 A's - awareness, action, acceptance. You GOT yesterday that the water softener issue was your problem, not your husband's. In the past, I would have either flared up & gotten mad. Or, I would have swallowed my anger, done the task, & harbored enough resentment to send me into a drinking binge. This doesn't mean that I'll never get angry again. It's how I handle the anger that's important for me. I grew up in an era when women were taught not to show anger. So, dealing appropriately w/anger is part of my work in AA.

We read & discussed step 9 last night. There were some great thoughts brought out. More importantly for me, I now feel so much a part of the meetings I go to. A mere 6 months ago, I was afraid to go in the door & left immediately after the end of the meeting. I can now join in the fellowship a little.

Take care one & all.

Mary

PS: DG: You're going to speak at a meeting! I've heard that it's very illuminating to do so. It's good for your program & wonderful for people to hear you. Good luck.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 12 - 18

We went to our small discussion group last night. The topic was taking the kind of chances that lead to relapse. That is a group where there is fairly frequent relapse. I was a lone drinker, I didn't go to bars, nor did I hang out w/people who drink too much. So, for me, recovery is about internal changes...changes in thinking, changes in relating to people, rigorous honesty, & daily contact w/an HP of some kind. Also, I have to remember the 12th step...helping another alcoholic. When I first got into AA, my sponsor said to always remember 3 things:
-Trust God.
-Clean house.
-Help another alcoholic.

Take care everyone.

Love, Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 12 - 18

I was a lone drinker too. At home after work to de stress. Only one or two wasn't enough. It was a drinkathon all evening. So Mary, you are right about changes. I started drinking as soon as I walked in the door and started cooking.

Now I go to the gym after work, maybe an AA mtg too. Don't cook quite as much. Pick up pizza or precooked chicken. Try to keep it more simple in the kitchen. Drink lots of herbal tea all evening long to help me calm down and relax.
So far so good.

Just got my Mom back to stay with me for a few months. Hopefully she won't stress me out too much. I might need to go to more mtgs or make more phone calls if she starts driving me crazy.

DG, my first mtg went well with my sponsor. Thanks for asking. We discussed Bills story and the doctors opinion. It is good to hear anothers perspective or interpretation of the big book readings. Also each time I reread the chapters, I get a different view of how things are with our alcoholic minds.

I wonder if my Mom will notice I'm not drinking? When she left in March I was still drinking daily. Time will tell.
Hope everyone had a great weekend.

Winefree