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    Confession

    Hello to you all and i hope you are all fine and well today x

    Ok here goes...i have a confession to make which i feel really bad about, i drank last night...and i drank and i drank. I felt so bad about myself that i just wanted something face to face...to be honest i think i just wanted someone to tell me how stupid id been. I dont know why i didnt say sooner but i sort of didnt want you all to be ashamed of me or think bad...not that you would, but hey...drink fuelled paranoia

    So this evening i went to an AA meeting, something iv never done and never thought i would...i didnt have to speak i just listened and i have to say it was intersesting. Not the kind of enviromnent id normaly put myself in which i was slightly uncomfortable with initailly but then i got so engrossed in listening to peoples stories that i forgot all that. I am still in two minds about it...dont know if its exactly "my thing"..buy hey, anything that helps further may be worth a go.

    Thanks for listening guys an im sorry if i let you down by drinking last night, feel so guilty towards you all and myself....but we all have slips right??

    Thank you all and loves as always

    Lou-Lou x x x
    "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky

    #2
    Confession

    You didn't let us down, Lou, only yourself. But you did a good thing by coming and telling us about it. Good for you for checking out AA. It may not be your "thing" but going to a meeting may be a great help, and some people think it's great, so why not???

    Confession is good for the soul, love. I still feel the same about you as I always have!

    Hugs,

    Kathy
    AF as of August 5th, 2012

    Comment


      #3
      Confession

      Thanks so much for the support Kathy...have been sat here for ages deliberating whether to post this . I will try a few more mettings before i make up my mind...it may grow on me, Just have to see how it goes.

      Main thing i havent drunk today or tonight and i have no intentions of doing so...but i think the meeting did help a bit (i would have died if they had made me speak, i was so scared going in) as the main topic was the effect of drinking on our families and loved ones..kinda brought it home to me even more how stupid id been by succoming as i know how worried i have made my famiy in the past.

      Love

      Lou-Lou
      "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky

      Comment


        #4
        Confession

        Lou.
        As they say in AA just keep coming back (here).I'd love to hear more about the AA meeting. Was it what you needed ?Will you attend the meeting again? Just pick yourself up and dust yourself off.
        Janet

        Comment


          #5
          Confession

          You know Janet i do think ill go back as it was good to listen to other people talk about thier experiences...and nothing was forced upon me, which i feared may be the case. Just a group of lovely understanding people all at different stages as with here on MWO. I can just go and sit and listen if thats all i wanna do but if i wanna take it further and "speak" then i can, i found that i could relate to a lot of the issues discussed. was kind of a comfort to be honest. Although it was really scary to do, cant actualy believe i was brave enough to do it on my own...just felt like i had to make some kind of drastic step, could feel myself slipping again

          Love

          Lou-Lou x x
          "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky

          Comment


            #6
            Confession

            Good for you, Lou, :l ...going to an AA meeting and posting here took a lot of courage and I'm applauding you! I keep saying it and I'll say it again (and again, and..) we have to do


            WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!


            Anything less and you're just cheating yourself....

            You know, I NEVER thought I would go to rehab until I finally checked myself in last April...I was finally ready to do whatever it takes and it took rehab! I really didn't WANT to go, but I HAD to go....I wanted my life back! And I finally accepted that I couldn't do it on my own....

            We all need different things to get well...for me, it was rehab and I'm also going to be starting an AA meeting this week at the seminary I attend...it just started up with the new school year and several people I admire will be going, so I am too! I need all the help I can get!

            It doesn't matter HOW we do it, it only matters that we DO it!!

            With AA you can also just "take what you need and leave the rest"--nobody can force you to talk if you don't wish to...and in my experience people are just supportive of you being there...most of the meetings are really not like some cult--it's just folks trying to deal with their problems with alcohol--just like we all are here!

            Whatever works is the right thing to do! And NEVER be ashamed to come back here and let us know what is going on--that's the whole POINT of this site...we're here for each other and that doesn't stop because of a slip or even a full-length fall down!
            :h
            susan
            "I'm a sucker for a good resurrection story." Anne Lamott

            Comment


              #7
              Confession

              Susan...thank you so much, its so nice to know im not the only one...your post has really really helped and ecouraged me.
              I wont be leaving here as i class all of you guys as my main support group, an i do not intend to slip again... but i think its good to have all the help you can get from every angle possible.
              I met a lot of lovely people tonight and yes i was slightly overwhelmed by the amount of honesty and such...but all in all i can honestly say that it was a good experience.

              Love

              Lou-Lou x
              "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky

              Comment


                #8
                Confession

                Lou

                That makes me feel awful because if I had not slipped ( in my mind - confidence -wise ) , then you would have seen the doctor on thursday,and would not have had to face that on your own.

                POOOOP

                Sorry baby Chix

                XXXXXXX

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