Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

Karma,

Call the central office in your area and they can direct you.

Also, once you get to an AA meeting, they should have pamphlets with all the meetings listed.

Try a few groups, you will find some you like and some you don't. You want to be comfortable with your home group.

My home group is a riot. There is a lot of laughter and joy mingled with the caring and the giving.

Good luck,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

Karma: I agree w/both Cindi & DG...you'll find the meeting that suits you. I heard from the old-timers that I should join meetings. I did join 2: one step & one Big Book. Joining entails giving your phone #, sobriety date, & going to the monthly business meetings. It's very simple, & joining the meetings is a way to break the isolation of alcoholism. In the meantime, follow the suggestions on how to find a meeting. I've never gone to a beginner's meeting. I just jumped into regular meetings. It'll start to make sense after a while. Even so-called "bad" meetings offer me something...some nugget of info. By "bad" I mean, there might be someone there under the influence or in some kind of crisis or in a crummy mood. Remember, we're a bunch of alcoholics, so anything goes. Don't be put off. I'm celebrating my 7th month in sobriety. NOTHING else worked for me. Please come back here to this thread & share your experience, strength, & hope. Good luck! Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

:yougo: Mary, congratulations on 7 months of sobriety!! You are an inspiration.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

As are you DG my dearest! Mary

[1967]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

I had an issue come up yesterday with my first sponsor - the one where that didn't work out. Without getting into the details, she did something that made me very uncomfortable. The thought of drinking actually occured to me - it didn't stay with me for long but on the yardstick of discomfort, I was pretty uncomfortable! In the past I would have definitely gotten drunk over something like that, and also probably "blown up" at her about it, and then probably gossiped with others about it just to make sure I had plenty of people on "my side" proving I was "right" about the situation.

wow... you know i used to do crap like this too!
i find i am already back to the person who 'hated and chose to ignore gossip!'

thankfully!!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

Good for you 1967 getting back to a "you" that doesn't like gossip!

I had a really good meeting with Sister today. She gave me a lot of encouragement and positive feedback on my Step 9 progress which was so nice to hear as it's emotionally draning at times - an attaboy was not required, but was appreciated! Then we went through step 10 together. I love the way she does it. We read each of the promises separately, and talked about what we think they mean, and whether they are happening and in what ways. It was very enlightening.

Then we had a picnic lunch which was indoors due to rain. I brought it in but the menu was completely at Sister's request: Cold fried chicken (from KFC...), biscuits, cole slaw, Twinkies, and Crystal light. :H at the Crystal lite! Another Sister who is a long time friend of hers joined us "spur of the moment" and we had a nice time.

So now...I will be reading the pages in the Big Book on Step 11 daily, and of course doing the daily inventory / amends per Step 10 going forward. It feels really good to go through all this. It is making a difference in my life. And I think it can only keep getting better if I keep working at it and trying to apply the principles.

Off to beddy bye for me now! Strength and hope to all..

DG

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

DG, so glad your step work is going well with sister. She sounds truly special. I need to get going on my next assignment so I can make some more progress. Feeling good though. Went to dinner tonight and didn't feel bad not having some wine. Yes, I did notice all the drinks going around and my husband had a drink too. It was okay. I was a bit upset about dessert though. I love tiara masu and noticed it was made with amaretto and said, oh no, I guess I can't have that......
I must say the chocolate mousse cake however was delicious.
Soon to have 6 months and I didn't want to mess it up with that dessert.

winefree

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

WF - good for you getting through the dinner and the disappointment about dessert. Although chocolate mousse sounds like a good consolation prize!

I am finding the step work and all the other AA related activities very rewarding in so many areas of my life. Last night was amazing. And I'm not talking about anything I said as the speaker!! The phone was going all day with words of encouragement from my AA friends, and it turned out that SIX AA friends from here locally went to this other town that is almost an hour away to support me. They didn't go to "hear my story" because obviously they hear bits of that all the time at the home group. They went to support me in my first open meeting speaker situation. Also, my step coach made arrangements to chair the meeting himself, which in this situation meant he was sitting next to me while I spoke. Talk about a caring group of people. Amazing.

When I was drinking, I never drove out of my way to see friends, nor did my "drinking buddies" go out of their way to see me.

One of the things I talked about in my story was the end time - my "bottom" last few years - where I stashed any prescription pain meds / muscle relaxers, etc. that I was given for my back so that I could commit suicide at some future point. At the end of my story, they open the floor for comments. One woman spoke up and said that in the last week, she helped the family of one of her close friends bury this friend. Same situation. Desparate in addiction, and this person followed through with taking the pills. Given more desparate time, I might have finally done it too. It was a stark reminder of how deadly a foe we are dealing with. I am grateful to be alive and sober today, and to see a brighter future for myself than one that requires a suicide plan.

I was really really nervous, but I am glad that I did my best to share my experience, strength and hope. If I am ever asked again, I will do it again no matter how nervous I might feel. And I will also work to BE the kind of friend that my AA commrades were for me last night. I'm not so sure that previously, I would have gone that extra mile to support one of my commrades. I probably would have made the excuse that I go to bed early, have other plans, blah blah blah whatever. No more. If these people need support I will make sure I am there.

I was also a bit uncertain before hand about having my husband there. HP seemed to be guiding us in the direction for him to go, so I didn't fight that. I'm so grateful he was there. He smiled up at me and afterwards told me how proud he is of me and how thankful for my recovery. Of course he didn't hear anything he didn't already know - heck he probably knows stupid things I did and forgot that I don't even remember. The honesty of this program is not always easy, but is bringing about remarkable changes in all my relationships - especially wonderful when it comes to Mr. Doggy.

I'm sure this post reads as "gush gush gush" which is proably nauseating to some. There was a time when it would have been nauseating to me, and just confirmed my opionion that AA is nothing but a bunch of spineless cult freaks. But I don't care what other people think. I've not only gotten back my life, but my life just keeps getting better and better. There are bad days too. So I'll enjoy this "pink cloud moment" for however long it lasts.

Strength and hope!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

Hi Everyone: 1967, I too might have used something like that as an excuse to drink. And who would have suffered? Ourselves. Yes, gossip can be a problem, even in AA circles. I just try to ignore it. That works so much better all around.

DG, the 9th step is incredibly powerful. Our BB meetings have been on the "Into Action" chapter which goes through steps 5 - 9. I can't tell you all how freeing it was for me. I also find myself confinding & confessing past wrongs as they occur to me...it's hard to remember everything at once. My husb still shakes his head at my duplicity. Now that I'm living free from all that deception, I really try to clear things up on a daily basis & never, ever lie or even exaggerate. I go back & correct myself, because embroidering the truth tends to run deep w/me.

WF: We were at a family party yesterday...very little drinking. The host did open a chilled bottle of white wine which I noticed. The observation just came & went. I can't honestly say that I wanted it, because I knew the ramifications of drinking even a little. But, it did look inviting: all newly-opened & dewy on the outside of the bottle. I ended up w/a nice mineral water which was fine for me.

Yesterday, we did an all-day, all-night stint w/the g-sons...birthday party, movies, put them to bed. Our daughter & SIL had some obligations to take care of. It was great fun, but exhausting. That would have been the kind of day where I would have topped it off w/wine, wine, & more wine. Not so yesterday, so today I woke up free & clear. I'm grateful.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

DG: I cross-posted w/you. Your post was not at all gushy. It actually brought tears to my eyes. I thank you for telling us about it. Great job...you deserve every single accolade that you got. Love, Mary

[peacenik]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

yay dg...what a wonderful feeling to have so much support. it made me long for that...on some level i'm scared of it though.
i'm so glad you are still here and your suicide plan failed!

you are an inspiring wonderful woman!

[Sheepish]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

Thanks for sharing DG- sincere thanks.
-Sheep

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

Hi again. Mary, sounds like you had a busy time with the G-sons. I appreciate your remarks on Step 9 - especially that you continue to address issues you recall as they come up. Sister was saying that I should keep an eye out for things that come to mind that I may have forgotten the first time around. So that amends list is certainly a "living" list. LOL - just knowing Step 10 was coming has had me thinking a lot harder about things before I just "react" for quite awhile now. But I'm certainly not perfect and have my icky moments - mainly with Mr. Doggy. He doesn't hold grudges though so if I react badly to something, realize it and make the amend, onward and forward we go. I am really lucky to have the husband I have.

As much I dislike being around AL, I really am finding that the "craving" for it is nearly gone even when I AM around it. What a relief! And I really really really really don't want to go back to the Dark Place. And one drink takes me there - been there done that. So....ever vigilent I want to stay.

Peace, I'm not sure if the basis is the same, but I too have fears about developing closer relationships. I loved HAVING the support but there is responsibility that comes with GIVING support. And I wouldn't feel right being a taker and never a giver. I'm so used to staying in isolation (even when "around" a lot of people) that relationships ARE scary and I'm really inept at some of the required skills. As an example, I really struggle with saying "no" to things that people ask for, even when it's completely OK and appropriate to decline. I "aim to please" so I feel trapped, say yes, and then am resentful about it. What I realized recently is that if I DO buck up the courage to say no, I'm STILL resentful that the person asked me for *whatever* in the first place.

This is MY problem for sure - not the other person's problem. There is a woman I've gotten to know a bit who spoke about this very thing at a recent meeting. I have decided I will ask her out for coffee or something and see if she will share with me how she managed to get OK (really OK) with saying "no." I think that will be an important skill if I am to have fully functional and close relationships with people. Sorry to ramble on but that is what I thought of with your comment!

Sheep it is always good to see you.

Hello to Phil and PP and Cindi and other AAers and lurkers who haven't checked in for a little bit.

DG

[LVT25]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

DG, I came searching for this thread because I wanted to hear how your time at the mic went at the AA meeting. I'm so happy that your life is turning around and that you are able to pay it forward to others. I'm happy too that it is making your marriage better as well!
I would have loved to have been there! Keep up the great work! :goodjob:

[Guitarista]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 19 - 25

Hi all,
DG, just been reading your earlier post and i'm so glad you are still here with us. Lot's of love to you from over here.

Is that you in your avatar? You're a bit of a hottie aren't you!......;-)

Best wishes to all my friend's here.