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Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

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    #16
    Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

    Welcome Tippy! :welcome: I hope you are finding your way around the site! The important thing is to read and post and read and post and read and post. If you keep exploring and clicking I think you will eventually figure out where things are, and find topics and groups that you identify with. I think 30 days AF is a GREAT goal to start out with. Just take it one day or even one minute at a time if you have to. Great suggestions about the AF Daily Thread in addition to this thread in Monthly Abstinence, as well as the other motivation threads that you can find in Just Starting Out and also General Discussion.

    Mary, I am so glad that you have always posted here how you "just do it" as your sponsor suggests. Your words ring in my head whenever I feel rebellious about something that is suggested to me. I often think of your wonderful progress, and your advice to "just do it." Good for me to hear that you got back out of bed and on your knees. I will remember that next time (which is often!) I am tempted to skip stuff.

    Cindi thanks for sharing those links!! I can ALWAYS use helpful info on ALL the steps. I can't imagine a time when there will be nothing beneficial left to learn about any of them. I'm just starting to appreciate what in means in AA that I don't have to be perfect - just willing to try. That certainly applies to me and the higher power business! I think if Bill W were still alive he would be all over this computer / internet age figuring out new ways to use modern technology to save us drunks from ourselves. I think he would like MWO and the stuff on your laptop and also the iPhone cool thing that PP mentioned!

    Speaking of...PP it's great to see you. It's wonderful that you are "heads down" and centered doing what you need to for your family, and that your AA "routine" helps you do that. That's what this is ultimately all about - not only getting rid of AL from our lives but finding a way to LIVE again. Mr. Doggy just recently got an iPhone and loves it. He thinks I need one. I have thought not up to this point - I don't need a phone that does much more than call out LOL! But the AA apps sound cool so maybe that will be my tipping point!!

    This subject of perfection is an interesting one. I've been listening to some speaker CD's in my truck the last few days, and am really enjoying one with Brady Burns. I think it's safe to say he's an "old timer." At first I thought I wouldn't relate to much of his story but a number of things have grabbed my attention - and the impact of "perfectionism" is one of them. He describes how he became a perfectionist - the "conditional love" he grew up with. So that's the only way he knew how to have relationships, so he went on to have difficulties with marriages, etc. with the "conditional love" model. (if you are perfect, I will love you. If you are not perfect, I will punish you) Many of us got a dose of that in Church growing up it seems and/or from parents. I realize I did. I'm glad I don't have to be perfect any more and am learning some good tools to help me approach life from a standpoint of unconditional rather than conditional love. I realize I am rather weak at giving that sort of love AND receiving that sort of unconditional love.

    Another topic he talks about in this CD is what it means to be "in fit spiritual condition" which is what the BB says gives us the daily reprieve. To be honest I did not have a good understanding of that (and probably still don't LOL!) I still have a bad habit of attaching the word "spiritual" to the word "religious." And I think I subconsciously may have been doing that with this important sentence from the BB.

    He describes "fit spiritual condition" as having the character defects at bay so one can have some serenity and peace of mind. "Stinking Drinking Thinking" is driven by the defects such as fear, selfishness, self pity, resentment, etc. So if my "character defects" are running wild in my head, well - I'm at risk. I absolutely know THAT is true. As an example, if I let a resentment get going, then some "I'll show YOU (and go to a bar) thinking is sure to follow.

    So...for me today, staying in "fit spiritual condition" as it pertains to my sobriety means using the tools I've learned thus far to keep resentment, selfishness, self pity, pride/ego, etc. QUIET in my head and heart.

    LOL this is probably all obvious to others but sometimes I have to be hit with a board!! So now I have more purpose to my prayers and my actions with a clearer understanding of exactly how all this stuff relates to sobriety for moi.

    The meeting this morning ended up being good. It was focused on the Daily Reflections reading which to day is about Tradition 10. (in a nutshell, AA's focus is on individual sobriety and helping others stay sober. AA doesn't take political positions on things or get involved in any type of controversial stuff.) I really enjoy studying the traditions but usually tradition meetings end up pretty dry. That was not the case today as some of the guys were there who have a bunch of years sobriety and interesting points of view. We didn't really stick to Tradition 10 but ended up discussion the traditions more generally, with lots of good comments on Tradition 3 (the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking).

    One guy talked about how he works to apply the traditions in his everyday life, which is something I haven't ever thought to consider before. I am continually amazed that the AA "organization" (which is certainly not the typically organization that I think of!) has survived so long on 12 simple rules that fit on one poster. I have to laugh when I think of the companies I have worked for and the massive volumes of policy manuals people think it takes to run things.

    Well, this post is long enough!! I'm grateful for AA and the opportunity to learn some new skills that are making a positive difference in my life. And also grateful for the opportunity to share with you here!

    Strength and hope,

    DG
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


    One day at a time.

    Comment


      #17
      Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

      DG: I am continually amazed at the longevity of a program that has no hierarchy or spiritual leader. I've heard in meetings:
      -The steps are there to protect me from me.
      -The traditions are there to protect the meeting from me.
      I'm intent on working the steps in my life today, but someday I might be able to apply the traditions. That's something to look forward to.

      Some of the things I've been doing when I formally pray each AM & PM (in addition to the prayers that my sponsor recommended) is:
      -ask HP to remove my shortcomings (I've boiled it down to 5).
      -ask HP to help me examine my motives.
      -ask HP in the AM to help me stay sober & thank HP in the PM.
      -simplify & plug in my husband's name to the St. Francis prayer.
      This sounds like a lot, but it only takes about 10 minutes to do it all. When I think about the amount of time I wasted w/drinking & related activities, the prayer life I have is a drop in the bucket.

      Anyhow, I'll check back tomorrow.

      Love, Mary

      PS: Newcomers to the thread, don't hesitate to ask questions as needed.
      Wisdom, Courage, Strength
      October 3, 2012

      Comment


        #18
        Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

        Thank you all for your wonderful input! I received my 9 month coin last week. I am still working on the 9th step and realize I need to take it as seriously as I did steps 4 an 5. I’ve heard so many people talk about having a relapse because they skipped this vital step so I’m taking my time with it.
        A friend once told me the steps prevent suicide and the traditions prevent homicide

        Comment


          #19
          Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

          Lovely to read what is written here. It is the truth.
          I dont know how to get better. All I know is that people who have worked the steps either in AA or by other means have achieved some solid help.
          And so I do what I ahve to do.
          Still strong
          C

          Comment


            #20
            Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

            Okey: Congratulations on your 9 month chip. That is wonderful. You are so wise to be taking the 9th step so seriously. I KNOW I would have relapsed if I had skipped that step. I was very afraid to admit certain things...especially to my husband. But, now I'm so glad I did it. Mary
            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
            October 3, 2012

            Comment


              #21
              Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

              Okey - :yougo: congratulations on 9 months sober!!! I wish I could have been there when you picked up your chip! I'm finding with Step 9 that I do OK with the direct amends that I can "check off" when they are done - even though they might be difficult. What I tend to lose focus on is the living amends that will never be done - they are things I need to keep in mind to work on regularly. So I've still got some work to do finding solid ways to keep my sights on those important things.

              Mary - it was very helpful what you shared about how you have structured your prayers!

              corkish - it's wonderful to see you! It sounds like you are doing well and that rocks.

              Well - I better get a move on so I am not late for the AA meeting I'm off to. Hello to everyone who hasn't posted in bit and also to anyone reading and lurking. Strength and hope to all.

              DG
              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


              One day at a time.

              Comment


                #22
                Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

                DG: Yes, living amends are very difficult...especially the on-going ones:
                -staying patient
                -staying honest
                -staying out of other people's business
                -staying humble & non-judgemental
                -working on the self-centered fear & anxiety

                I'm guess that's the purpose of the maintenence steps (10, 11, 12). When I do flair up, exaggerate, gripe, etc., I can always use step 10 to correct the situation/my thinking. We're all works in progress. As a matter of fact: "Progress not perfection" is a slogan I've often heard at meetings.

                Take care one & all.

                Mary
                Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                October 3, 2012

                Comment


                  #23
                  Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

                  Okey, congratulations on 9 months, that is amazing!

                  I'm leaving Lincoln today and will be at my home meeting Friday morning. I had the privilege of attending 3 meetings at 515pm each day here. Monday night was a BB study and the speaker gave an oral history of the beginnings of AA. It was like listening to the movie "My Name is Bill W", which I just purchased and watched about 10 days ago. So for me it was a way cool experience. ( once again HP places me where I need to be). The speaker had some very interesting history about the early days of AA.

                  Yesterdays topic was about striving for perfection. I realized that in the past I made a decision regarding a task if it was something I enjoyed, I would work at it until it was "perfect" and if it was something I did not enjoy, I would get drunk, half-assed attempt it, blow it off and/or treat it as a joke. (including business presentations...yikes....not a good idea). Once again, it was amazing to me how 30 people in a room to could have so much in common and come from such different walks of life.
                  I have to admit that I really enjoy AA....who would have thought that???
                  Love and Peace,
                  Phil
                  Love and Peace,
                  Phil


                  Sobriety Date 12.07.2009

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

                    Phil, Phil, Phil: You are the absolute best & cutest! I love what you say & your attitude. Mary
                    Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                    October 3, 2012

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

                      Mary, I love love love your summaries of things!! On your list of 5 challenges for the living amends, I had run ins today with the 4th & 5th on your list! Every day is a new challenge, but I am enjoying the challenge of working at becoming a better person. And by "better" I do NOT mean "better than someone else!!" :H Hopefully nicer more of the time, tolerant more of the time, self centered less of the time, etc. Progress not perfection indeed, and BOY is THAT a good thing!!!

                      Phil, wonderful to see you pop in. I really enjoy your accounts of the meetings you go to. I too love hearing about the history of AA and am looking forward to a time when I can spend more time reading the materials about that. (i.e. the AA Comes of Age book) I too really like the AA meetings and am a bit shocked by that as a former "AA IS NOT FOR ME!!!!!" X 10 person. You have a big meeting with your sponsor tomorrow IIRC??? If so, all the best to you! You will feel great.

                      I have got to talk to my sponsor about my continued exchanges with my original sponsor. She is the first person I saw when I walked into the local Chamber event that I attended for business tonight. I waved hello but moved on to be where I was supposed to be and do what I was supposed to do. I'm really uncertain as to whether I should have made a point of going back to talk to her at more length. I've got to figure out what is the right thing to do, and then just do that. I'm just so unsure of what is the right thing. My current sponsor hasn't seemed real inclined to talk about the details. And I don't want to venture into the "gossip" zone either. But I feel like I need either a suggestion about what to do differently or just some idea so I know what's the right thing to do. If this is my biggest problem today, it's been an ever so excellent day. Just to keep things in perspective.

                      LOL - mental gymnastics as described above sure keep my pea brain off booze, that's for sure. A huge benefit of AA for me. Keeps the ol' hampster wheel pondering away on other things.

                      DG
                      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                      One day at a time.

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

                        You have a big meeting with your sponsor tomorrow IIRC???
                        Gosh DG, do you remember everything? Sheesh....I liked you better when you were drinking....
                        Yes, I do have the big 4th step meeting tomorrow morning. I'm excited about it, but also hung up in the ..."gee, I need to do this right"..and all that. Most of the time I can push those thoughts aside and choose Mary's approach of "Just Do It".

                        I'm so grateful y'all started this thread and keep it active. Can you believe any of us would have thought that a year ago?? An AA thread?
                        Love and Peace (back in Texas YIPPEEEE),
                        Phil
                        Love and Peace,
                        Phil


                        Sobriety Date 12.07.2009

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

                          I agree, I am grateful for this thread and AA. I would never have thought that when I first started on my journey. I was absolutely determined to do this some other way.

                          I went to a speaker meeting tonight. It was uplifting and devastating at the same time. The speaker, like me, went to rehab, relapsed several times and then one day woke up and realized he was absolutely and alcoholic and the obsession was then lifted from him.

                          It was uplifting to hear his story and his triumph. It was devastating to me because, unlike so many, the obsession still is not lifted. I still get those drinking thoughts. I do realize I am an alcoholic and that my life is unmanageable. I truly do.

                          On the way home, I meditated and prayed on it. I begged God to help me. It came to me then that my way will not be the way others have traveled. It will be whatever way God wants me to go. I have to accept that, even if I don't like it, and just go with it.

                          I am staying strong and staying sober. That is good and that is all I have the right to ask for.

                          I am continuing to work on my Step 2 and every day it gets a bit easier.

                          Love,
                          Cindi
                          AF April 9, 2016

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

                            I too am grateful for this thread. It really supplements the AA meetings. Actually sometimes the interpretations of the readings are more meaningful or just plain more down to earth for me.
                            I have been "lurking" this week as I have a lot going on at home. Husband in hospital(hopefully will be home tomorrow), sister just went in hospital emergently this afternoon, Mom living with me again since 11 days ago, work is crazy busy(I'm the manager) and lots of back paperwork to complete. Truly stressed on Monday, but didn't drink thank goodness.
                            One good thing however, I got my 6 month chip last night. Woo hoo....who would have thought it possible earlier this year? Certainly not me.
                            Cindy, I know what you mean about the obsession. For the most part the obsession has been lifted for me, however, I still have occasional drinking thoughts. I just don't give in to them and sometimes "talk" to them and tell them to go away and leave me alone. Drinking isn't going to change anything or make anything better, it will just make it ALL worse.

                            Mary, I think the term "progress not perfection" comes from either the BB or the Steps. It makes total sense, since a lot of us are perfectionists. We don't have to get this perfect since that is always unrealistic and might also make a lot of us just give up before the miracle. Baby steps, no pun intended, is all we need to start the journey and each step is progress. As I have heard the only step we need to get perfect is step one. The rest is a matter of progress steadily on our AF journey.

                            DG, I am only beginning the steps, so thanks for speaking to the amends. And I too like how Mary summarized the living amends, which I don't totally understand yet. I keep forgetting that amends doesn't always mean making up but means changing to make it better.

                            Phil, I too enjoy listening to all the meetings you attend away from home. I too attended meetings on vacation in Maui and the Catskill area in New York state in August and September. It was great to be welcomed and experience AA in different settings and also comforting to know help is available when we travel away from home when we might need it the most.

                            Goodnight all,
                            Winefree

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1

                              WF: Stay strong! Drinking would only make matters worse. You're doing a fine job w/all you have on your plate. Keep chipping away at it the best you can. Mary
                              Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                              October 3, 2012

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Weekly AA Thread - Week of Oct. 26 - Nov. 1


                                :yougo:CONGRATULATIONS WF on 6 Months Sober!!!:yougo:


                                I wish I could have been there to share your experience getting your 6 month chip. That must have given you a boost considering the challenges that "life" has presented you of late. I admire your attitude. All we can do is just keep plugging away and working our programs no matter what life throws us. You are doing that!

                                Phil - special thoughts for you today! And I bet it feels good to be home after a week on the road. Can't wait to hear whatever you might feel like sharing (if anything) about your experience today.

                                Cindi, I am really happy to be on this journey with you. AL has tried so hard to kick your ass but you keep working at this, and I really admire you for that. I think you are right that this IS an individual journey. There are always similarities, but there are differences too. "Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, they (the promises) will always materialize if we work for them."

                                I was listening to a speaker CD yesterday who talked about the much earlier days where most of the people who went to AA were really considered very "hopeless" and yet many recovered. There is hope for each and every one of us!!! I truly believe that.

                                Mary, your support means so much to me!

                                At the suggestion of my sponsor, I ordered a Big Book Dictionary today. $5 from this site in case anyone is interested. I also ordered a leather jacket for my Big Book which is getting beat up! I need to keep it in decent shape as long as possible as I now have so many notes in the margins and names / phone numbers on the inside cover, etc. So I ordered a jacket that has the serenity prayer on it, which I love and also the little round window thing for a coin. I will look forward to putting my 18 month coin in there next month. Recovery Emporium | Home Page | AA Chips | AA Medallions | Al-Anon Medallions | Anniversary Medallions | Inspiration Medallions | Many other gift items including AA Books, Recovery Books, AA and NA Book Covers, Hats, Mugs, Tee Shirts, Recovery Jewelr My sponsor also had me sign her Big Book much like we did in high school with year books. Her BB is pretty cool with many, many notes of inspiration from people over her 12 years of sobriety - some of whom are passed now. That would be a nice memory to start building in my own book.

                                Anyway, enough rambling for now! I haven't read the readings yet today so I think I will do that next. I'm all discombobulated with the figure skating schedule. In other good news, I was laughing so hard I was crying with Mr. Doggy a few minutes ago as he was getting ready to leave for a client. We used to laugh like that when we were dating but in my darkest years, the laughter really died down. I love that we can belly laugh over silly stuff together again.

                                Strength and hope,

                                DG
                                Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                                Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                                One day at a time.

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