AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

[Doggygirl]

Hello Ab Landers!! Happy Thursday or Friday or whatever day it is in your part of the world!

Special hand reaching out today for Leelou and Aquamarine and Maslow and Suni and ALL of our newer AFers here on the Daily thread. And Chief too. Where are you Chief? Whatever it takes my friend. Cinders - hope you are doing well on the road.

How 'bout a topic for today? I sort of liked this reading from "Walk in Dry Places" which is one of the Daily Readings found at this link: Daily Recovery Readings

Walk In Dry Places

No apologies for sobriety
Attitude
Now that we are sober, some of us are invited to social events where there is drinking. Now and then, we see raised eyebrows when others learn that we're having only soft drinks.
Some of us may respond by explaining that we're alcoholics and cannot take even one drink. A few recovering alcoholics handle the situation by pretending that they're holding an alcoholic drink---- perhaps enlisting the bartender's aid in making the drink appear to contain liquor.
While it may be useful to tell others about our alcoholism, we are under no obligation to do so, particularly in a drinking environment. At the same time, there's something wrong with pretending that one is still taking alcoholic drinks.
Our best course is to remember that we never have to apologize for not drinking. In a world that makes so much fuss about the right to drink, we surely have a right not to drink, and we do not have to explain why we are not drinking.
If I find myself in a drinking environment today, I'll handle it with dignity and cheerfulness, but I will not feel I must defend my sobriety to others.

We talk often here about what to say to people at social events when we don't drink alcohol. I think this reading offers a very balanced perspective on the subject. I don't need to feel embarassed or ashamed over my choice not to drink. I'm not a lesser person or some sort of weenie because alcohol does not agree with me. In fact, I am an alcoholic and that is nothing for me to be ashamed about. I can't drink alcohol the same way someone alergic to seafood can't eat the shrimp cocktail.

So as we start making our plans for the weekend, and start thinking about the upcoming holiday season, I say we make our plans without shame or remorse that alcohol will not be a part of it for us. Let's say no to AL with dignity!!

DG

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

Hi DG & all to come,

And I AM allergic to seafood, so I can't have the shrimp cocktail either :H

Thinking about it, the only people who have ever tried to persuade me to drink since I've given up have been family members. Friends/acquaintances/strangers have never said anything if I ask for a soft drink. I think it's quite accepted here now to not drink at social events - drink-driving (even after only a couple of drinks) has become really frowned upon, so people often assume you're driving if you don't drink and just don't mention it.

Picked up The Tao of Sobriety at the library this morning. Only had time to read the foreword and the intro on the bus into work but it looks interesting so far. Somebody mentioned it on some thread, but I forget who.

BTW, DG, Greenie started a thread on essential oils in the holistic healing section. There's a link in there with info. I'm currently smelling like an orangey-lavender explosion :H

Have a good day all!

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

Morning abbers!!

Thanks, DG. Good topic today, especially with the holidays around the corner. They are stressfull enough (can you spell t-r-i-g-g-e-r?) without the added pressure of the alcohol issue.

I ended up not worrying about it. Worrying is unnecessary work to me. I am so much happier not worrying about modding, not worrying about drinking or not, all that goes with. And I quit worrying about "What if someone asks why or why not". If I am cornered, I just say I found I am much happier without alcohol. That takes care of it. The underlying implication is that if someone were to pressure you, they would essentially be asking you to comprimise your happiness. How rude! :H

Well, I managed to burn up the lawnmower and a hard drive yesterday. Hard drive I can handle, lawnmower and a miata is a puzzle yet to be solved. I'm still banned from the hole. FH called me at 6:30 AM to remind me. WTF? Attention seeking behavior ya think?

Marshy, thanks for pointing to the link. I am particularly fond of that site.

Have a good day - don't worry, be happy!

[aquamarine]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

Hi Everyone, Really happy to be able to come here this morning. My work called last night
and wanted me to work 12 extra hours today - lots of sick calls d/t flu. I almost did it
but I knew that there were things I really needed to straighten out here at home today
to actually have my head in the right place- so I said no. I feel bad I didn't help them out
but I am determined to put my mental well being first so I can stay not drinking. Anyways- really glad I made that decision. A week ago I would have gone in, worked like a dog, and come home exhausted and wanting a drink. I 'm trying to stay conscious of the whole process- something I feel I have not been doing at all for the past year. On the subject of not drinking when others are. That used to really bother/worry me. I just don't care anymore. I just say I am all set- no explanation.
I find people often just don't care. I bet there are more people than
you think who are secretly admiring your not drinking or wishing they could do the same.
Hope everyone has a great day!

[KateH1]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

Aqua....good job at saying No..You are so right, especially during these early days of sobriety, you simply must put your own well being first! Get plenty of rest, eat healthy and regularly, and protect your peace of mind!

I have become quite comfortable just saying, no thanks. At times I say I don't drink. One time a while back, I was out to dinner with a friend that I have not seen for quite a while....she was pushing it a bit, I laughed and said......would you like to order my meal as well?

Greenie....Step Away from Anything with working parts today!!! LMAO!

DG....Your arms look soooooo BUFF!!

Well....Work day today....I am looking forward to the weekend!
xx Kate

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

Good morning Abbers!

Thanks DG, Marshy, Greenie & Aquamarine! I'm in total agreement with you - I don't feel the need to apologize or to explain to anyone why I'm not drinking! I know I can't & am much happier now that I've taken that question off the table (Can I have just one?). I know I can't & that's all there is to it
This Holiday season will be my first AF, I am looking forward to it!

I have lots of work waiting for me so I'd better get moving.
Wishing everyone a great AF Thursday!
Lav

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

Hi Kate,
Cross post !

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

"I find people often just don't care. I bet there are more people than
you think who are secretly admiring your not drinking or wishing they could do the same."

I think you are right on Aqua. And Greenie, I like your comeback as well. I usually just say, no, I'm good. But honestly, I do spend a lot of time worrying about what people think. Certain people anyway. That I am a party pooper and no fun anymore. Sometimes I wish they would just come out and say what they're thinking so I don't have to wonder anymore. If I was still drinking I would have enough liquid courage to ask them!:H
I agree, I think it is wrong to "pretend" we drink. We need to be proud--it was hard work to quit and we are better people for it!

Aqua--also good job for saying no, I have a hard time with that one as well!

I had a drinking dream this morning. I hate that.

Busy day ahead, so I better run! Make it af everyone!! :h

[KateH1]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

About the Not Drinking thing.....Do you know that neither Donald Trump nor Gene Simmons (Kiss) drink? Nor have they ever! In an interview that I heard quite a while ago...DT talked about why he doesn't drink...he has a lot of alcoholism in his family, his brother died from alcohol. He said that he just never wanted to start down that road. Gene Simmons saw early on what alcohol and drugs could do by observing many of his fellow rock stars fall to drugs and alcohol....Simmons says that he never liked the feeling that alcohol gave him wayyy back in his younger years, so he just chose to live alcohol free......besides says Simmons......alcohol would take away time for his money making schemes!! LOL!

Regardless of whether or not, you like or admire either of these public people.....they are examples of people who have publicly come out for the alcohol free life style with NO Excuses!

PS...Hi Lavende

[maslow23]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

Just wanted to stop in and say hello to everyone. Let's hope for and do our best for a good day. I still have plenty on my plate, but haven't quit yet ;-)

[tassimo]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

I love this thread, thanks so much for reading my mind! I've been stressing all week about our plans for Friday night. I've been turning down many social invitations lately because I am not sure how strong I am, and if I am strong, how do I explain my not drinking? These are not casual acquantances, these are people who know (or KNEW) me, and my normal drinking habits, and I'm definitely the one that could drink everyone else under the table and then some. Not a good thing to be known for, and the stupid things I did along the way. But I plan on staying AF, and not offering up much of an explanation, other than "my son has an early hockey practice", and leave it at that. It will be a good warm up for all the social stuff coming up with the holidays. Yikes!

Cheers everyone~! (she says with a ginger ale in her glass...

[bear73]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

hello there - I' inching my way towards twelve weeks af - I have been battling with the idea of just one. for now I'm shelving it and continuing with today.

I've had a lot of alcohol dreams recently and was planning Xmas with friends the other day - realisticaly I know I won't just have one and why do i need it? I think i'd be doing it for other people - not for me .

I'm really happy as I am, I'd also feel that I had failed/let myself down and compromised myself for others. I'm also aware that i smoked last weekend - these things can often have a domino effect of failure for me (cos of all or nothing thinking).

anyway - whatever - I won't drink today!

good day all xx

[Emmy]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

:h I'm talking to myself alot lately ~ playing good cop/bad cop ~I think Good Cop is winning , I don't want my daughter to EVER be ashamed of me EVER AGAIN !! If NEVER having another glass of wine can assure that then thats my goal
As of today , I am AFFL pass the FRE please :l

[Leelou]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

Well Thursday was a lovely day for me. All went swimmingly until I was about to drive home. Then that voice started telling me to stop at a bottle shop just to have something on standby!
I kept saying f--- you@&! I'm in charge!"' over and over, I got in the left lane....so I could pull into the carpark, I kept dropping the F bomb! I kept thinking of you all here, and of my achievments so far, and as I drove past that soul sucking shop, I sighed with relief, wondered why my urge suddenly decided to sit on my shoulder and whisper black temptations that would bring misery and regret!
I arrived home, slightly weary from my thoughts but soon, I whispered to my real self: thank you for being in charge, I love you!
The rest of my evening was relaxed and lovely before I slept soundly through the night.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday Nov 5

Leelou;751309 wrote: Well Thursday was a lovely day for me. All went swimmingly until I was about to drive home. Then that voice started telling me to stop at a bottle shop just to have something on standby!
I kept saying f--- you@&! I'm in charge!"' over and over, I got in the left lane....so I could pull into the carpark, I kept dropping the F bomb! I kept thinking of you all here, and of my achievments so far, and as I drove past that soul sucking shop, I sighed with relief, wondered why my urge suddenly decided to sit on my shoulder and whisper black temptations that would bring misery and regret!
I arrived home, slightly weary from my thoughts but soon, I whispered to my real self: thank you for being in charge, I love you!
The rest of my evening was relaxed and lovely before I slept soundly through the night.

Beautiful!!!

And so many other great posts today.

I suppose another suggestion I will toss out there for the newly AF - holidays coming soon and all - is to make your sobriety your #1 priority. No ifs, ands or butts. If that means declining some social things, then so be it. Last holiday season was my first one AF, and I went to very few social functions with AL, and have no regrets about those decisions. The few events I HAD to go to, I had a solid plan in place which always included a way to exit early.

Good to see everyone again!! LOL I will be around here at some strange hours the next couple of days as the next Grand Prix of Figure Skating event starts in about 9 hours in Japan. I will up up and watching it! Can't wait to see if Johnny Weir is still sporting the pink adorned thing. (THING...not THONG!!)

DG