sat 7 nov

[bear73]

hi there


It's 3 months for me today - never thought I'd make it this far and thanks for the support and inspiration!

I feel so much happier than 3 months ago - alcohol thoughts I've been having last few weeks have melted away.

weekend of pottering, roller derby practice and seeing live music - perfect - no more online shopping though!!

[Suni]

sat 7 nov

Yeah!
BEARHUGS!
Awesome
And if those thoughts ever retirn remember that they are only temporary anyway. Moods come and go but sobriety is hard fought!

[Gold]

sat 7 nov

Hi Suni and bear,

Well done bear73, and it's good to know those thoughts have melted away. My feeling is that each time we just let one of those thoughts pass it makes us stronger the next time.

[Zeppie2]

sat 7 nov

Roller Derby - I'm impressed

Congrats on your 3 months - well done

[mario]

sat 7 nov

:goodjob: bear73 :jumpwow: welldone on 3 months keep up the great work

[greeneyes]

sat 7 nov

:yougo: CONGRATULATION!! :yougo:

[LVT25]

sat 7 nov

Great job
bear--I'm so glad you've been hanging around here!:goodjob:

I had a pretty rotten night, and I guess I just feel sorry for myself, I don't know. My in-laws declined my invitation to eat dinner with us--I guess it was too big of a commitment, or they knew they wanted to go to the bar. Not a huge deal, almost a relief. I had treats to make for my son's football team, and we have an early start to our day today.....so anyway, hubby goes to town to the club to fulfill an obligation. Turns out lots of our friends are there, including in-laws. So hubby was trying to do the right thing by calling me and telling me--said I should come in--didn't I want to see everyone? Well, at that point, no, I didn't really care to see anyone. I was tired, still needed a shower and had cupcakes to frost. But I offered to go pick up my son and nephew, since my oldest son was waiting for his cousin. Anyway, I just got so upset and sad, because here it was, Friday night--I never feel like going out and having fun or seeing friends anymore! I was bitchy and it turned into a terrible foul, depressed mood. You know, there have been times when plans have been made ahead of time I can go and visit and drive home no problem without alcohol--but to go into a bar late in the evening without a slight buzz to get me in the mood??? No way that's happening.
So, we went in and picked up the boys and came back home, finished what I needed to do then went to bed. I feel great today, hubby still sleeping. I know I don't want to drink, but I don't really like the fuddy-duddy person I am becoming. I should have known it would be this way, because alcohol has always been such a big part of our community and lives. I keep telling myself that it would not be worth risking going back to everyday drinking in order to have fun once or twice a month when the occasion arises.
Oh, well.....I better get everyone up and going.

[AAthlete]

sat 7 nov

Bear73 - huge congrats on 90 days of sobriety!

LVT, sorry that you had a bad night but happy to hear that today is better. Just remember that we are all going to have days like that, and you have to give yourself permission to feel like that.

Happy Saturday morning to all - I hope your weekend is off to a great start. I had a great ending to a challenging day yesterday and I credit it to working my program. Work was challenging again and the ownership change/increased expectations were still rattling around in my head. In the past I probably would have buried my thoughts in the back of my mind, but instead had a talk with my SVP about the things that I need to be successful and he was completely on board with it!

I then headed over to Carmax to look at a different car, and found out that because I am anal about the way that my current car looks it was marked down in value (the color is a metallic-silver and is hard to match, so I had the hood and side panels completely resprayed to cover up rock chips and some repaired door dings - they considered that major repainting). I was a little bummed about that, but made myself talk about my feelings with my wife, and the issues/concerns that I had just melted away..

The point of all this is, in the past I would NEVER talk about what I felt. I would bury them in the back of my mind where they would sit and sit and I would go over them again and again. I think those of us with drinking problems sometimes have a habit of internalizing our issues, then using booze to deal with them. I realize that I have to find a different way of dealing with problems, cause if I don't the old way is just sitting there and waiting for me.

[Lavande]

sat 7 nov

Good morning all!

:wd::wd::wd: CONGRATULATIONS BEAR :wd::wd::wd:
on your 3 months, awesome job!

LVT & AA, I believe that everything happens for a reason......... quite possibly you two learned some important lessons yesterday. You both handled your iffy situations very well, good for you!

In addition to the usual Saturday routine, I have to go out & do some investigation in the chicken coop! Someone or something has been lunching on eggs this week, leaving empty shells as evidence. Think I'm smelling a rat, eeeewwww! Guess a couple of rat traps will take care of it!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Saturday!
Lav

[greeneyes]

sat 7 nov

I love you guys! This thread rocks! I cannot tell hou how much I learn and grow here. Really....... thank you for all you share. :h

Last night I went to a party. On the bar table were jars of liquid that looked like swamp water samples. Turns out it was homemade vodka. In the past........ you know. The party was outdoors. Greenie hulahooped in the dark by the fire pit with a drumming circle jam. Hulahooping to a root chakra beat can be quite sexy - who knew!! They dance! The hoopers had lighted ones and one with fire. (DG soon as the figure skating is over....:H) A traveling instructor invited me to her class this afternoon. I'm excited!

In a bit I'm going to the hole to pick up boxes FH has left out for me. I feel a tad of resentment that I am packing HIS stuff and moving it out but the sense of catharsis and freedom WAAAAAAAAY outweighs the resentment and I'm sure will eventually erase it entirely. I am only assuming he guesses that is what I am doing as he didn't ask and I didn't say. The more I am distanced from him the happier I am.

Have a great day!

[KateH1]

sat 7 nov

Bear 73...Congratulations!!! 90 Days is a real turning point!! I believe that it was at about 90 days when my head truly began to clear of the fog of alcohol and my alcohol free life began. At this point our work seems to turn from the every day focus on not drinking to beginning to build on our New Way of Living!
Good Job! Keep up the Good Work!

AA, you hit on a key point to sober living for me as well.....not internalizing! Not living in my own head, regurgitating the and thinking about the negatives things that just happen! Sometimes it is about not sweating the small stuff.......and, at the end of the day, so many of the things that once triggered us to drink is really small stuff in the big picture!

LVT....all I can say to you is WELL DONE! Your comittment to your sobriety clearly shows! It sounds like you are at a time of transition.....transition to living your NEW LIFE....Your life Free of Alcohol. Perhpaps finding new friends who do not focus their lives on the pubs and drinking. Perhaps discovering things that you enjoy doing. Everyone needs comraderie and pleasure and there are many activities that are both without alcohol!

I have a full day ahead....so after some coffee, I will get started!

Have a great day, all

[KateH1]

sat 7 nov

OOPS! Cross posted with you Greenie! Sounds like the party was fun! Your healthy attitude Really Shines!

XX

[Doggygirl]

sat 7 nov


:yougo: CONGRATULATIONS BEAR on 3 MONTHS SOBER!!!:yougo:


You are doing GREAT Bear! It's obvious you are putting in the work to modify your lifestyle and that AL doesn't fit so nicely into that any more. That's a big part of what it takes. Thanks for getting us started today. We want ROLLER DERBY VIDEOS!!!! Let us know if you make it to Youtube, OK??

Hi Suni, Zeppie and Mario!

Gold, I think you are right that the more we practice handling our crazy AL thoughts, the better we get at dealing with them. For me, it's always important to remember that my AL thoughts are insane. I need to treat them as such and not entertain them as "realistic" in any way. (the thoughts are always meant to convince me that under some scenario or other, drinking would be OK. And it's NOT OK, and will NEVER be OK for me.)

LVT, I'm sorry to hear about your rough night and I'm glad you got through it and feel better today. I think I have felt similar at times. I DO NOT enjoy being in bars or places/situations where drinking is the main focus. I'm OK these days around AL - but am bored silly if AL is the center of attention, and the only activity going on is "buzzed talk" which just deteriorates the more AL is consumed. I just don't have fun around that. I think it's only fun for those who are partaking in AL. I used to think I was "boring" to feel that way. And like you mentioned - will I *never* be fun again? I would then proceed to the pity party to feel sorry for myself that I can't drink safely, that I have to endure the circumstance, etc. etc. blahblahblah.

I have made peace with the idea that I find many drinking situations somewhere between boring and intolerable. I don't try to make a show of "having fun" beyond being courteous to the degree I have to be there. I like doing other things. I'd rather stay home and read a book or something. And I'm finally OK with that. I'm not angry at the world OR at myself for feeling that way. I hope you can find a way to achieve balance with this sort of thing, and mainly get OK (and not resentful) with NOT liking to be in a bar. I just don't think we have to like being in a bar just because we used to spend time there.

Enough babble ramble!! LVT I mainly hope today is a good one for you!

Greenie, WOW a FIRE HULA HOOP??? I so want to come visit you and meet your friends. That sounds awesome. Did you hula hoop in your bathrobe, or regular clothes?? Or...never mind.

Lav, I hope you find the culprit in the hen house!!

AA - you raise such an excellent point and give a great example of how we internalize things. I have a tendency to get something in my head, and just spin it and chew on it and "awfulize it" out into the future until something small is a HUGE problem causing me GREAT stress in my own mind. I will say that my tendency to do this is vastly reduced since working on my serenity. And you are so right about talking this out as quickly and rationally as possible.

Kate - what you said about small things in the big picture is true for me too. When I look back, I would get angry and of course drink over the silliest of things.

I am glad that the next two figure skating events are on this side of the globe in nearby time zones. Keeping up with this event in Japan has me in desparate need of a nap!! Since Mr. Doggy is at dog training and the house is quiet, that's what I'm going to do!

Have a good AF day one and all.

Strength and hope to all who are struggling today. Maslow...come grab the life line.

DG

[mentathaloner]

sat 7 nov

Congrats on your 30 days!!! For me it was last week today that I was feeling hung over and said "enough"....Find it has been harder than I thought...seem to think about "the relaxing feeling" of that first sip....but to change that I just need to remember the rest of the night and how horrible I felt the next morning..not to mention the shame for things I may have said and done the night before....One moment at a time....not ready for a whole day..

[aquamarine]

sat 7 nov

Hi Everyone, Just getting in from work after a long busy day. I feel really good though.
Just wanted to check in. Take Care Aquamarine