What is involved in 100 percent committment?

[drylifeahead]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

"We are interesting, because we can complete a thought and then remember it!"

We can? Crap, I've been sober since October 3rd and I still can't do that!!! :wow:

DLA

[Suni]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

Suni, I think your attitude and committment is remarkable!! I hope you don't take any of the posts as suggesting that YOU are not committed. All any of us can share is what we have discovered from our own experience, and there are similarities as well as differences for all of us.

Are you kidding? You guys are awesome. I love all of the posts. I take from them what they give me - information, first hand experience, energy, insight and above all hope, but certainly no offence!

[drylifeahead]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

"Oh Geeze, here comes another boring sober people thread" DG

On a more serious note, for me personally as a newbie, it's these type of threads that inspire me.
Different opinions from the 'boring sober people' who had been through what I was going through, and successfully came out on the other side that continues to help me each and everyday.
Alcoholism CAN be beat. That is the message I get from MWO, that is why I continue to log in each day, and I am completely understanding that it is MY own personal choice to drink or not. I'm goin' with the latter...for me, it is the better way.
It's still a new life for me, I need more time under my belt, but I can't wait until someone calls me a 'boring sober person'!!!!

DLA :h:h

[Starlight Impress Forever]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

The boring sober people are those who pontificate...........can`t abide them myself :lalala: If you want to drink, then go ahead and drink I say, only..........I really wish you wouldn`t!!!!! :H

Star x

[KateH1]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

Drylife.....when I came here and got really serious about stopping my insanity with alcohol, I knew that I had to stick with those that had forged ahead with their own sobriety, before me. I did not need to have my "Excuses and Reasons" for drinking reinforced.....I did a GREAT Job of that all by myself! In fact, I had received my masters degree in "Reasons and Excuses"..LOL What I needed and received from the Sober Living members, was the determination and guides that I desparately needed!

Still to this day, I look forward to reading posts from other long termers....."The No Excuses Gang!". No matter how long I am sober, no matter how comitted I am, I am greatful for the honesty and support that I constantly get from other long term abbers. It is sad to me to think that passion for sobriety on this site would or could be considered......pontificating! ( not that I think that is what you meant, Starlight).

With that being said, I am encouraged by people like you drylife.....a newly passionate Abber, pushing through those early weeks and months of sobriety! You make me smile

xxx Kate

[momof3]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

I so appreciate the passionate and fierce conversations from those who are AF.

Suni, you started a really great thread. Many of us had to go through several attempts at quitting before we got serious, but I have also met folks who stopped drinking after their first try and never looked back. They "got it" a lot quicker than I did.

When you become honest about your dependence on alcohol and go throught the gut wrenching process of becoming sober, it sets you free and allows you to be honest in all areas of your life.

Its not boring at all...quite the contrary.

M3

[Starlight Impress Forever]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

First off, Kate..........."passion for sobriety" and pontificating are two entirely different things. There is nothing more soul-destroying for someone still struggling with alcohol than to be confronted by the full-on, in your face, ex-drunk who spouts how everyone should sober up..........AF is the only life worth living..........blah.........blah.........blah.... .....

We must consider that we are all just that one drink away from the slippery slope, regardless of how long we may have remained AF. Nomatter that we are 100% committed to AF, the point is..........ONE DRINK is all it would take to undo all our hard work.........Sure, you and I have no intention of taking that first drink, but........am just considering how we have come so far, yet remain so near to that which we`ve fought to escape, no?

I may well think somewhere along the lines of an AF lifestyle being the only life worth living, but if, and I did say IF, I do, I would never ever dream of revealing those thoughts on here, just as I would never ever try to force my personal opinions on others. I have learned this at first hand here at MWO..........nomatter how much we may worry about any other member, we must allow them to make their own choices...........noone has the right to tell any other person how to run their life in any respect, although, unfortunately..........there will always remain the few self-righteous who do.

In no way could I ever be accused of pontificating at MWO. Granted, I am revelling in my AF lifestyle and intend to remain AF for life, but that`s not to say that MY way out would suit everyone and so it is that I won`t try to `convert`.

Further, never have I, either in this thread, in any other thread, or in Chat, accused any other member of pontificating. The only reference to people pontificating which I have made, was in reference to people in society in general. It was not in reference to MWO in particular and I apologise if my thoughts have been misconstrued, but in all honesty, I have been seriously misinterpretted, which I find particularly upsetting, as I want nothing but the best for all at MWO.

As you know, Kate.........I think a great deal of you. :l

Star x

P.S.

No further pms on this matter...........Plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!! :H

[drylifeahead]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

Good morning,

I understand what Kate is saying, one can easily read she is passionate about the AF lifestyle-for her. And I've read throughout the site she will promote that
lifestyle to anyone IF one asks about it.

This is what MWO is about. People coming here asking for help. For the most part, in fact I dare say the vast majority, most here seek out help on
the web for their alcoholism, and stumble onto this site.
I was in desperate need for help, and wanted any and all suggestions to help me beat this evil addiction. For sure someone saying TO ME don't worry if you fail,
you can try try again, would be disastrous. I can not keep continuing to try try again. AL will kill me in one way or another. It would surely have done me in had I not gotten
my senses and resolve together and made a firm, ironclad decision to stop.

My plan is to remain AL free for the rest of my life. God forbid I let my guard down and have a drink (which I know will not stay at one). For me-I would expect
a verbal ass kicking from a site that strives to be one of two things. AL free, or Moderators.

Why? Because if you read my posts, I make it abundantly clear I am not drinking and won't, and I can not moderate, and I feel free and wonderful and FANTASTIC
in my new life.

Star, I am sorry you were upset with Kate's post. I do not believe she meant to insult you. Reading your joke it was clear what you meant, and quoting Kate
( not that I think that is what you meant, Starlight) she got it as well. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think it was meant as an extension of the whole
joke about 'boring sober people'.

DLA :h:h

[Doggygirl]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

momof3;753853 wrote: IWhen you become honest about your dependence on alcohol and go throught the gut wrenching process of becoming sober, it sets you free and allows you to be honest in all areas of your life.

M3, I really like your post, and especially this part. I too have found that getting honest about AL was just a first baby step in getting honest about many things in my life, and sobriety has surely set me free.

Today I am hopeful about the future and happy in the "now." Most days fly by too quickly there is so much I want to do. That is a long way from the lonely, miserable, paranoid, suicidal person that I was - alone in my house with nothing but AL in my life.

Kate I can relate to what you said about finding the sober people to see what they had to say. When I finally got serious about sobriety, that's what I did too. "If I do what they do, maybe I'll get what they've got." Many, many people know deep down they are addicted to AL. Sadly, all of them will not kick AL to the curb. But I think it's important that we keep sharing our own personal stories for the benefit of those who are listening.

DLA, you are doing GREAT. IMO, you have the right attitude for success. You too Suni!!!!!

DG

[drylifeahead]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

Thank you doggygirl!!

Today I am hopeful about the future and happy in the "now." Most days fly by too quickly there is so much I want to do.
That is a long way from the lonely, miserable, paranoid, suicidal person that I was - alone in my house with nothing but AL in my life.

That is EXACTLY how I felt/feel doggygirl!!!

Kate I can relate to what you said about finding the sober people to see what they had to say. When I finally got serious about sobriety, that's what I did too.
"If I do what they do, maybe I'll get what they've got."

That is why I stay!!!

Many, many people know deep down they are addicted to AL. Sadly, all of them will not kick AL to the curb.
But I think it's important that we keep sharing our own personal stories for the benefit of those who are listening.

I agree. With ALL my heart, I agree.

*EDIT*

Also I really feel I need to add 'this'- We are in the Monthly Abstinence Forum. This is where I go to hear those who live this life, who promote it, and who live by example.



DLA :h:l:h

[KateH1]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

First of all, thank you for your support and "getting" what I am trying to say, drylife and DG.....sometimes the one dimentional communication on a message board can be a bit confusing and intent can get "lost in translation"! Let me just say, that I love Starlight Impress....I consider her a dear friend here.....she was one of those that I stuck close to in my early days of sobriety...her wisdom truly helped me find my way and stick to it!

Like so many that arrive here....I was a mess due to alcohol when I found mwo. My alcohol abuse was affecting every area of my life. During the year or so before coming here, my alcoholism was escalating to drinking on a nightly basis, many nights I was drinking vodka instead of wine, but every night without fail, I was passing out. I spent my days in that horrible alcoholic depression, filled with anxiety. Yes, I was going to work, most days, but, my thinking was really skewed by alcohol! I was very afraid, and I wondered if this was my fate in life.

My first 3-4 months here, I was still drinking to one extent or another. I had some AF days....I tried to "Mod".....I began to fall into the trap of telling myself when I drank...I was modding......LOL..modding my ass! Finally, in Nov. 2007, with help from the sober ones here, I went AF.....I had a plan, I had the supplements and I finally had determination. After a couple of weeks AF....I drank...one night. I hated the way I felt and I hated the was that my thinking had changed...changed in one night. So, I quit for good. Done! I found a group of people here who were just ast ready for sobriety as me......we started working together.....we had a 30 day thread...it grew to the 30. 60, 90 day thread and on and on we went. We shared what we were experiencing every step of the way....I still keep in touch with most of these people today.....even the ones that are no longer here!

Yep! I do not apologize for my strong stance for sobriety. I take this stance for me as well as anyone else that cares to listen. I know that "slipping" can also become a habit. For some of us, perhaps most of us, this can ruin our resolve and become just another way to trick ourselves into being able to continue drinking. We can come to believe that constant slips, or a long "learning curve" is perfectly normal and acceptable! For me....this would be fatal. If not physically, certainly spriritually and emotionally. Sobriety is the only life for me, without it, life is not worth living.

If people that come here.....want the "soft approach"....molly coddling and the likes, there are plenty here that will provide that. If they want the "No Excuses" approach....I and several others will provide that!! My intent is never to simply make anyone feel "guilty"....they can do that all on their own! I know that I cannot "Make" anyone else choose the AF life.....but I can, offer the "No Nonsense, No Excuses", message for anyone that wants to listen.

Thanks All!
xxx Kate

[momof3]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

Hmmm,

I like the way this conversation is going. Last night when I read through the posts, I was concerned that it could turn in the wrong direction, but the dialogue has remained honest and constructive. That's good!

So, it seems that we have different needs and philosphies in terms of how we want to be supported in our sobriety and how we think we should support others in theirs. I myself prefer the "no nonsense approach" meaning that when I was still drinking and relapsing, I needed someone to call me on it and to tell me to "get real."

When someone on this site "slips" or relapses, I am always conflicted as to how to respond. There are some folks whom I gather from how they write their posts, have not reached the point of 100% commitment and when they "confess" to relapsing, I honestly don't have much to say. On the other hand, I have come to know folks on this site who are trying very hard and experience a great deal of shame and guilt when they relapse. In these situations, I am compelled to encourage them to reflect on what happened, dust themselves off, and start on Day 1. For some reason, their path to sobriety is longer and harder than mine. And, the courage it takes to admit that they have relapsed is admirable.

I always keep in the forefront of my mind that I could be the next one who could be writing a story about having a drink the night before. I do believe that all of us are only one drink away. This is a "sobering" thought and motivates me to have great compassion for this slice of humanity here that is battling a very serious disease/illness/condition.

I feel that the best way we can help others (and in the process help ourselves too) is to speak from the heart and share our stories about how we came to be 100% committed. This is why Suni and Dryhead are here. To share their stories and to listen to those of us who have been sober a wee bit longer.

Thanks for this thread again Suni and to all who have contributed. I don't contribute much these days but always get excited when I see a thread where the conversation is deep and honest. Let's keep it going!

M3

[dancelot]

What is involved in 100 percent committment?

100% commitment means exactly that, 100% of the time. No maybes, no excuses, ever.

It means being 100% honest with yourself at all times.

If it looks like shit, don't step in it.

It's knowing (in my case anyway) it will be the end of me if I pick up another drink. I'm not likely to stop if I start again, and I'd be too embarrassed to even show my face around here if I was drinking (that's what my honest inner self says - and it never lies - it's reminding me of my past actions/reactions, and there's no reason on earth to believe it's any different now).

I've been here 3 months now, not as long as some of you, but one observation I've made is I can pretty much pick out the success stories fairly early on. Or maybe just see who is ready to commit now. I don't doubt everyone here wants to change, but believe as long as we continue to lie to ourselves (including small white lies), change is impossible. That is in no way meant to discourage anyone else. Trust me I've sabotaged myself more than a few times (before I came here). At some point, it has to stop.

I do realize we are all a little (or a lot) different, have different issues, different brain and body chemistry, and therefore what works for me may not work for you. One thing I do is keep an open mind about ANYTHING that helps ANYBODY. If they find success with whatever - I like to know, I may need it someday. Likewise I try to share what works for me - I don't mean to preach if I sound that way - if it helps one person, it's worth it.

Thanks for a great thought provoking thread, Suni!

Much love to you all!