Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

[retteacher]

Everyone: I'm going to give this a quick start. Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

I'm back. I am in the middle of a lot of stuff but am doing OK. I have had the stray thought, but nothing I would ever act on. I don't think I'll get to a meeting tonight but know I'll go to my regular speaker meeting tomorrow night. Last night's BB meeting was great. There was a first anni which was very nice. The 2 connections I got out of the story we read were:
-After the first drink...the warm head-to-toe feeling, it was all down-hill from there.
-The author of the story said that he used drink as a "reward" as did I. Some reward: black-outs, hangovers, spiritual bankrupcy.

I'm happy to be coping w/all this sober today. I know for sure that alcohol would not help one single bit.

Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

Ahhh Mary, Drink as the reward. How I can relate. After a stressful day, after a good day, after a bad day, it's Friday, it's the weekend, it's vacation time, it's the summer, I could go on and on and on.

Some reward, extra weight, high blood pressure, heartburn, poor sleep, difficulty waking up, nightly stuffiness.........did I hit them all? Probably not. Oh yes, luckily, the rare blackout. When it happened the first time, I didn't even know that's what it was.

Don't think I need those kind of rewards anymore. Keeping AL at bay, ODAT.

Winefree

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

WF: I am too, though I've been having a difficult time of late. I'm doing OK regarding drinking thinking. I'm going to meetings & seeing AA buddies. I'm just so glad I'm not blotto through all of this. It would be ten times worse. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

Hello all! Well, I am staying home today for the second day in a row with this cold. I just can't see going to meetings and spreading this grunge around. I'm really missing the meetings and my new friends. Might be a good day to finally track down a source for on-line meetings. I can't imagine how that would work with only typing similar to chat. But there is a web based thingy called PalTalk that they use at SMART Recovery that does allow you to either type OR use a microphone to talk. I could see that working out pretty well.

Anyway...

AL as a reward. Oh my. And what a craptacular reward it was, too. WF, like you said, reward for anything. Good day, bad day, anything in between. In addition to the actual results of this "reward" you guys have already mentioned, I must add one. I would turn from a regular human being to a complete (b)witch ON A DIME. Poor Mr. Doggy. Of course I always thought my mood swings to (b)witchiness were completely justified, so therefore OK. It was the rest of the world "treating me badly" that was to blame. I didn't think I was responsible for bad moods and treating other people badly - THEY were all responsible for that. Geez.

On the topic of rewards, I like this from the Daily Recovery Readings:

Walk In Dry Places

Honesty with another person
Admitting wrongs.
A good fifth Step in the program means being entirely hones with at least one person about the nature of our shortcomings. "A burden shared is a burden cut in half" is the principle behind this action.
We can feel relieved that the 12 Step program specifically limits this sharing to "another person"___ though we can obviously add to that if we choose. However, we must be sure to share honestly with that one person, being careful not to gloss over this important Step.
What is the result of this honest sharing? At the very least, it helps us lose the fear that people might know us as we really are. It helps us face the world with confidence and perhaps new humility. Morever, it can strengthen our ability to stay sober. All these gains are certainly reward enough.
If I haven't been honest with at least one other person, I'll reread the Fifth Step today. This is something that should be done for my own future safety and well-being.

I will let you guys know if I find out anything interesting about on-line meetings. A potentially good backup plan for sick days!

Mary, thanks for getting us started and as always thanks to all for sharing.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

I really think that rigorous honesty is one of the true foundations of the program. My dishonesty & deceit were the fuel that kept the alcoholism going. When I did my 5th step w/my sponsor, it was the first time I had told my drinking story to anyone. The relief I felt was indescribable. There is nothing worse than carrying around that burden of guilt. I think that the 10th step inventory that I should be doing on a regular basis should include:
-Is there something I've been hiding that I should reveal to someone?
-Is there an issue that must be discussed?
-Is there an amends that I have to make?
-Is there some confrontation I've been avoiding?


Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

Mary, what a good post. I think all of us are "closed" to some extent or other. For me, I SEEM very open, and AM very open with a lot of stuff. However, it was the few things that I had never shared with another living soul that were eating me up. Being 97 or 98 or 99% honest wasn't enough - it was no better than being 50% honest. (well, that's my guess anyway!)

I still remember that day when I was sitting with Step Coach talking about my step 4 work and preparedness for Step 5 and he said "that's all fine - blah blah blah. What's important is that you talk about those couple of things that you've already decided you are not going to tell." :H BUSTED!!! I'm glad I was working with someone experienced who read me like a book on that one.

I do not regret sharing those couple of things I intended to tell NOBODY with one other carefully chosen human being. I figure God already knew about it....

Oh - since I'm on sort of a sick day, I decided to do a little more searching for on-line AA meetings. Here is a link I found that offers some options with comments on each. I book marked it and thought others here might like to save it as well.. How to Find AA Meetings Online | eHow.com

Have a great sober day all - strength and hope to those who need it today.

DG

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

Hi everyone,

I had a wonderful anniversary meeting Saturday morning at my home group. Our speaker had 33 years of sobriety. His story was amazing. Of great importance, my husband actually went with me. He enjoyed the meeting, too. I am hoping I can get him to go to speaker meetings with me once in a while.

Sunday evening is our BB meeting and it is tracking right along with my Sponsor's reading list for me. I love it.

I am out of town this week and tried mightily to get to a meeting last night but Google let me down and I could not find the place. The same thing almost happened tonight but I pulled over and called AA in town and the man that answered the phone "talked me in." It was a 12&12 and we read the last few pages of the Twelfth Step. It was a good meeting.

I just wanted to pop in and say hello to all. Mary, I am sorry about your stress. I hope it eases. DG, I hope the cold goes away soon. I do have a bookmark for an AA online site but last time I logged in there, there were a bunch of drunks chatting away. Sigh. I was needing some real strength and hope and didn't find it there. If you find a good site, let me know.

Thank you all for being here. I am grateful to be here sober tonight.

Love,
Cindi

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

Oh, I wanted to share two things I have heard in the last week that have helped me.

Tonight when we did the "Keep comin' back it works if you work it," they added the word, "sober." That made me smile.

On a different note, I keep hearing "just do the next right thing." Well, as a 35+ year drinker, I often get confused about what the "next right thing" is. This alcoholic's brain is not to be trusted!! One of the guys in my home group told me, "Cindi, I, too got confused about that. What is the next right thing? My sponsor told me, "well then, Don't do the next wrong thing!!""

So, as I go through my days, now, I know that when my mind strays to thoughts of drinking, I know I can't because then I would being doing the next wrong thing for sure.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

Cindi: So, so good to see you here. I too have heard "do the next right thing." As an addendum to that: "Do the next right thing for the next right reason." I've been asking God for help w/examining my motives, thus the addition of the "right reason." Sometimes I do the right thing, but it's for my own egotistic reasons.

Yes, I'm going through some tuff stuff, but I'm OK wo/drinking. As it is, I'm tired & not getting quite enough sleep. I'm so glad not to be contending w/hangovers, guilt & shame.

I have my usual step meeting tomorrow night. I'm anxious for that.

BTW, what a wonderful story about the AA guy "talking you in." That is truly 12th step work in progress.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

Greetings all, yikes I'm home this week, so going to my home group each day. Funny I kind of miss out of town meetings. Cindi, good on you for making the effort to find a meeting. It seems to make a difference for me.

This morning I got my 60 day plastic chip. The group support is so cool and amazing.

Thanks to all of you for keeping the hope alive.
Love and Peace,
Phil (in Texas for the week).

[ancon]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

AA online meeting

Hi Everyone. Nice to be here. I will have to join this group more often. I have been attending regular AA meetings and really enjoy them THIS TIME. I am 52 days sober today, thanks to this site, an outpatient program and the AA meetings I am required (but now love) to go to. I am going through some rough times with my husband right now. He was very supportive in the beginning, but now is getting on my case about being gone all the time at my meetings and groups. I can never win!! I don't have too many things that make me want to drink, but he is one of them when he gets into one of his rages! Hopefully this will pass.

I already did the next right thing and looked at it like the Big Book says and tried to find what fault I had in the whole thing. I apologized for MY behavior and told him the things I did that were wrong. That isn't always an easy thing to do, but I feel better now.

Doggygirl - I used to go on an AA on-line meeting that is pretty good. I still visit every once in a while now, but I actually like this site better. It is called stayingcyber.org They have different forums - one of them is the Early Sobriety forum which is pretty good. They have a different topic every week. No drunks chatting there! Hope this helps you find something while you are under the weather.

A

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

Hi all! Cindi it's great to hear from you. That's great about the guy who "talked you in" while you were out of town. Do you have an iPhone? I'm curious about that app that was mentioned - I think by Winefree. I didn't get a chance yeterday to try out any on-line meetings but will report in for sure if I find something interesting. Sorry to hear about the Drunk Chat experience you had before. Disappointing but I suppose not shocking.

Mary, I'm glad you are hanging in there. I hope your schedule lets up soon and you can get more rest. You are right though - drinking would just pile on. Worse to imagine being tired AND hungover AND guilty feeling. Yuck. I guess this is one of those times where it's "trudging" the road, eh? Hang in there!!


:yougo::yougo:CONGRATULATIONS PHIL on 60 DAYS SOBER!!!:yougo::yougo:


Boy Phil, you must not know what to do with yourself being in the same town - home no less - for a whole week!! Do you ever get tired of being a road warrier? I am so happy for you on your 60 days. I hope your life is getting better every day without AL in it.

:welcome: ancon! :yougo: on 52 days sober! I hear you - I never thought I would like AA either. Amazing. I'm sorry to hear about the challenges with your hubby. Sounds like you are doing the right things. I'm glad YOU feel better after doing what the BB says. That's what it's all about. Thanks for the tip about on-line meetings. I'll have to check that one out too!

Today's meeting was on the Daily Reflections reading, which is about self appreciation / self love. The reading made me really think about loving myself (something I do not know how to do) v. being self centered (something I am all too familiar with!) It was a humbling reading that shows me how very much work I still have to do.

Funny - my sponsor saw this (lack of self-love) in my long ago. Early on, she gave me a list of daily affirmations to say to myself in the bathroom mirror. I suppose after a few months of daily...em...."reflection" I believe these affirmations slightly more than when I started. But I realized today that I still have a long way to go.

It always amazes me still when the homeless man I sometimes mention shows how one can have very little by way of material possessions, but be a gazillionaire in spirit. He had some really moving things to say today about his own journey in the AA program and how he went from being a person he loathed to a person he can love and respect in the mirror.

Tonight one of the women in both my home groups is speaking at an open Alanon/Alateen/AA meeting. Especially being a bit under the weather, I normally wouldn't go. But after receiving so much support that night when I spoke and knowing how much it means, I'm going to be there no matter what. I will love myself enough to BE a friend to a person I want to HAVE as a friend.

Strength and hope,

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

DG: Nice post. So hopeful. I'll have to read that daily reflection.

Phil: You are so great! Congrats on the 60 chip. I wish I could have been there.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

Mary, you are always there