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Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

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    #16
    Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

    Hi, guys.

    Phil, many, many heartfelt congratulations on 60 days. I know how hard you have struggled in the past to get to where you are today. Enjoy the week at home. Us road warriors deserve to get some at home time once in a while.

    Ancon, Welcome!! My hubby gripes about my time away at the meetings, too. :-) I can't really blame him because I am usually only home on weekends, which means I am home and awake about 28 hours a week. Then, I end up leaving him for roughly 6 hours of those precious 28 hours. But, if I don't get to my home group meetings on the weekend, I miss them horribly. I need them and my home group friends. We are a small, close group with a lot of sobriety. Despite my many relapses and binges, they keep welcoming me back and giving me great suggestions. My sponsor is wonderful. So, yes, hubby gripes but he loves me sober and knows how important it is to me.

    DG, the AA meeting here is in an AA owned club house type of environment. They have large comfy leather swivel chairs and a nice warm building. Every table has two bottles of hand sanitizer on it. I realized how smart that was of the group, especially during this flu season. I hope you are healing quickly and can get back to your meetings soon.

    Mary, I am thinking of you.

    The meeting tonight's topic was about control. A young girl has a friend who is still using and is feeling the frustration of not being able to help her. She talked about how to deal with the intense desire us alcoholics/addicts have to control over others.

    Since I am still working Step 3, it was a wonderful meeting for me. I recognize how critical it is to make that decision to turn my will and my life over to my God. We all tend to have that huge desire to control everything around us and are so frustrated when we can't. Hence the Serenity Prayer, the morning prayers, the evening gratittude prayers and the prayers whenever we need guidance. My "control" has kept me hopelessly drunk for many years.

    I am diligently working everyday on letting go of my fears and my desire to control and let my God take the reins.

    It is difficult for me but it is working. I am grateful it is. Peace and serenity are beginning to come just as the 9th Step promises.

    Today, I am grateful to be a sober, recovering alcoholic.

    Love to all,
    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016

    Comment


      #17
      Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

      Oops - I just posted this on last weeks thread by accident! So I copied and pasted and now am adding a couple of things!!

      Cindi, it warms my heart to read your reports. I am SO happy for you. It must be hard sometimes to keep putting your sobriety and hence, AA meetings first in spite of husbands who may not fully understand. That's what it takes though. It is so hard for "normies" to completely understand. Keep going and healing!!! The hand sanitizer is a good suggestion. Maybe I'll pick up a few bottles and spread them around the tables next meeting I go to. I love your description of control and Step 3. I find myself sliding backwards on that front all the time. Good for me to hear a reminder this morning!!!

      Hi Phil and Mary!!

      Welcome Lugs (from the other thread). You are right that pulling together to stay sober during the holidays will surely help! Look forward to getting to know you better here at My Way out.

      I went to an open speaker meeting last night where my friend was the AA speaker. I realized that hearing bits and pieces of her story in countless meetings is not the same as hearing her tell her story in the speaker format. She is a bit older than most of us here (who are all 29, right??? ) and she had some bad drinking years back when they put people in insane asylums who were "hopeless." Made me realize that those types of stories from the BB are not as long ago as they might seem. At any rate, I can't even imagine what it must have been like to be institutionalized time and again.

      She has been "in and out" of AA for many many years. She relapsed many many times but has now had 16 years of continuous sobriety. I was at the meeting where she picked up her 16 year coin and now I understand what she meant when they asked "How did you do that?" and she said "I finally surrendered."

      I didn't realize what a rare opportunity that was to hear her speak. She is an incredible "giver" to the program. She has sponsored many women and she works like a slave around the club keeping it clean and doing whatever needs to be done. A model of service work. But she is apparently very shy about being a speaker and has only agreed to do it "under duress" a couple of times. I'm really glad I was there to support her and hear it.

      This meeting also had an Alateen speaker. This is only the second Alateen speaker I have heard but what they have to say is so powerful. Any of us who think that we are only hurting ourselves with our drinking needs to hear an Alateen speaker. I don't even have kids and it was a powerful message to me about how my drinking affected everyone around me. I also felt very grateful that these kids have each other and the Alanon adults to help them deal with it all while trying to stay away from self pity, self blame, etc. I realize that like AA itself, Alanon Family Groups are not for everyone. But it's wonderful to know they are there for those who benefit.

      I ended up sleeping in this morning instead of going to the usual 7AM meeting. I think the worst of this cold is over, but it's still kicking my behind to some degree. There is an on-line meeting I came across that happens at 1 or 2 in the afternoon. If I can find the link again I might try to check that out.

      Have a wonderful day all!

      DG
      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


      One day at a time.

      Comment


        #18
        Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

        Hi Everyone: I'm heading out to a step meeting in a while but wanted to check in here first. My husb is doing fairly well considering some complications in his health right now.

        Regarding husbands griping about us going to meetings: DG is so right about normal drinkers not being able to completely understand & empathsize. My husband's & daughter's attitude is: "Oh, you have a drinking problem? Well then, just stop drinking for good." If it were that simple, we wouldn't need meetings or AA or steps or anything like that. I've been going to my meetings (a more abbreviated schedule) throughout this kidney stone saga. I'm sure my husband would like me more at his beck & call. However, as I pointed out to him the other day, I wouldn't be much help if I were drinking.

        I have meetings lined up tonight & throughout the weekend. It's helping to keep me sane.

        Mary
        Wisdom, Courage, Strength
        October 3, 2012

        Comment


          #19
          Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

          Last night's meeting was on step 12. If it weren't for step 12, I wouldn't be sober today. There was a dedicated sober person there from the beginning to help me through the steps. In the meantime, I felt a renewed committment to do 12th step work as a newcomer to AA. I am the secretary of my 2 home groups. I will sign up to lead a meeting at least once @ month. I know if I keep my eyes open, I can find ways to give back. I wouldn't be the happy, serene person I am today wo/AA. We recently saw the movie "My Name is Bill W" on video. I was struck by the fact that "passing it on" was the absolute lynch-pin of Bill's recovery, & he continued to do service far into his sobriety. By the way, "Pass it On" is the name of Bill W's autobiography.

          I have my BB meeting tonight for which I'm very happy.

          Mary
          Wisdom, Courage, Strength
          October 3, 2012

          Comment


            #20
            Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

            My husb is in a holding pattern w/his kidney stone. He'll be operated on again on Nov. 24. In the meantime, he's having his ups & downs. I don't feel it's necessary for me to change his mood. He has to feel his feelings...even if it's discouragement. I just have to keep my emotional equilibrium. Is that emotional sobriety? Probably. Mary
            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
            October 3, 2012

            Comment


              #21
              Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

              Hi Mary. I'm sending your hubby all the strength vibes I can muster! I hope he gets through this OK and the surgery on 11/24 takes care of this for good. I admire the way you are handling things. Sounds like emotional sobriety to me!!!

              With this cold, I have not made very many AA meetings this week and will be out of town and WAY out in the country at a dog event over the weekend. What I am trying to focus on is keeping up with my daily prayer and meditation and Step 10 work. This needs to become habit whether I attend a meeting or not on any given day. This work makes such a huge difference in my peace of mind. And a peaceful mind for me is a mind that does not wander as often or as intensely to thoughts of AL.

              Still haven't managed to try out any on-line meetings!

              I am thinking of you all. I hope I will be able to log in over the weekend. I will be taking my AA materials with me of course. We'll see about an internet connection out there in the middle of nowhere!!

              DG
              Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
              Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


              One day at a time.

              Comment


                #22
                Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

                Hi everybody..

                Just got off the phone with a lady from AA. Going to a meeting this evening...couple hours actually. This one has pre-selected speakers and she said it should be good. I think she said it was an open meeting. We're meeting at a coffee shop first for a few minutes.
                A bit nervous, but I'll survive :l

                You all speak so highly of it, I'm now looking forward to going.

                DLA :h:h
                Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness
                Sir Walter Scott
                --------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Comment


                  #23
                  Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

                  DLA, just wanted to say congratulations on your apartment. Don't let the man you spoke with on the phone put you off. AA is filled with a wide variety of folks, just like all of life. I hope you have a positive experience at the meeting. I will echo what Marshy said in the other thread - I have never seen anyone pressured to speak if they didn't want to. While I enjoy the speaker meetings as I like hearing everyone's stories in that sort of forum, I also like the small "working" type meetings where you can choose if you wish (or not) to just share a little bit of thought on whatever the topic of the day is.

                  Anyway, strength and hope to you and everyone. AA is not for everyone but it has sure helped me stay sober.

                  DG
                  Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                  Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                  One day at a time.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

                    Good morning AAers

                    Thank you DG...I am just heading out the door for 2 more meetings this morning. I can't remember what they called today, but it is a day full of meetings in one location.
                    Last night wasn't as inspirational as the first time I went, most were about 20 yrs older than I and I had a hard time relating. Lots of DUI's, jail time, and then I thought, well, really by the grace of God, and a huge dose of good luck, I had never experienced that.
                    Want to give it another try. The lady I met seems very nice, we didn't talk for long, met a bunch of people who I can't remember the names of, course that's in my everyday life too :H:H

                    I will say though there was one young lady who raised her hand when they asked for milestones or anniversaries or something, and she had a yr in. I was so impressed she recognized it so early in her life. Spoke to her after and she was ho hum about it. She wasn't excited as she had put in 2 years, and this was her second shot. Still, I wanted to hug her.

                    Have an excellent day everyone!!!
                    DLA:h:h
                    Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness
                    Sir Walter Scott
                    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

                      DLA,
                      Hope you enjoy today's meetings. I too find it exciting when young people get "it" so much quicker than I did. They are saving themselves 30 to 40 years of s%^* in my opinion.
                      Have a great day everyone.
                      Love and Peace,
                      Phil


                      Sobriety Date 12.07.2009

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

                        dla: I think it's wonderful that you're keeping an open mind about meetings. Ditto about young people sober in AA. I think it's so great.

                        Today I went on a food tour of Little Italy of Boston. It included a stop at a wine store w/sample sips of limoncello. I & another woman declined. We just looked at each other...I think I recognized a fellow sober alcoholic. It felt nice.

                        My husband is doing better. Mary
                        Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                        October 3, 2012

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

                          Good morning,

                          Mary, I hope this kidney stone situation gets fixed once and for all with the operation. I am thinking about your and your hubby.

                          I chaired a meeting for my home group yesterday. It was nice. It is a small group and a good one to chair. One of the members shared a little more than he should have in terms of other life's experiences. Luckily, one of the more experienced members knew how to handle it and got us back to an equilibrium.

                          The meeting was about falling off the pink cloud and how to deal with it.

                          One of our members has 22 years sobriety. She shared that this program is about living life on life's terms. Some days are good and some days are bad. With our program, we can learn to live sober during all times. Not just the good ones.

                          Love,
                          Cindi
                          AF April 9, 2016

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

                            Cindi: "Living life on life's terms" is just what I needed to see today. I am going through a rough patch, but I know that "this too shall pass." When I was drinking I needed any blip on the radar to pass IMMEDIATELY...thus the drinking. Only, of course, I now know that blotting it all out doesn't help the natural course of things.

                            I've been to meetings where just a little too much info is given out. It's a bit disconcerting, but we're dealing w/alcoholics, & that's to be expected. I'm sure you handled it well w/help.


                            Mary
                            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                            October 3, 2012

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

                              Checking in over the past weeks thread. Glad to read what everyone has had to say. I've been away for a few days on vacation with family. Great to see everyone while away. Didn't get to any meetings but did okay. Will be good to get back on track to meetings and "speaking" with everyone here.

                              Speaker meetings were difficult for me to relate too. The situations were so far away from mine, it was hard to relate. One thing was clear however, the importance of NOT drinking or the "bad" life will be back and how good life is without AL. I can't help but agree with that.

                              Good to be back here.

                              Winefree

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 9 - 16

                                WF,

                                I love the speaker meetings. I sit and listen in rapt awe of those who have so much time under their belt.

                                I know what you mean, though, it is hard to relate to some. They followed such a different path than I did.

                                What I find amazing and really shows how insidious this disease is, is that those who followed such different paths, those who walked in valleys and on mountains I never walked, are all in the same place.

                                One of the best speakers I heard recently was a guy who said, "I never hit the lows others talk about, I never got arrested, I never had legal issues, I never had a DUI. But, I was an @sshole to my family, I lived to drink, every day was get up and figure out how to get through so I could have my next drink. I became a slave and I could not stand that."

                                Moreover, he was a hard charging army officer and subsequent contractor who could care less about the people around him.

                                With AA and the Steps, he is sober, he is no longer a slave AND he has gained a respect for others. Wonder of wonder, his children and his wife all love and respect him so much today. :-)

                                So, no. I am not him. I did not walk his path. But I learned a lot from his story and I respect him tremendously for sharing it.

                                This is one of the things I love about AA. Hubby remarked to me about the meeting he went to with me. "You all come from such a cross section of life. You are all so different and yet alike." He saw and understood, God love him.

                                Cindi
                                AF April 9, 2016

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