How?

[Mike R.]

I've been in this cycle for soo long... I don't know how to quit any more?! I drink till I'm numb, then I'm dry a few days... then when I feel ok again.. I'm gone... if nothing else.. I need a shoulder to put my tears on!!! I'm not just another lamer.. I've been here for years... I may have posted a few annoying threads... but I'm here... and I've seen the threads.. I was probably drunk when I posted them.. but I still need that shoulder... I'm a whole lot thinner than I try to make people believe... To those who know me.. thank you.. to those who don't.. welcome... to those who know what I'm going through... I'm sorry.. I love you all.. Good luck and God bless...

[betty boop]

How?

Hi Mike, I remember you .......... lovely to see you back ........

My shoulder is here, please stick around this time ....... keep posting, and you will get the support that you need ........

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[retteacher]

How?

Mike: I haven't seen you here at 30 day abs. I've been at MWO since Apr. 07, & I've had a very checkered past. I've gone for many days abs, sometimes even months. However in the end, I relapsed. Until last March, that is. I had a particularly ugly incident in Feb. that revealed the extent of my problem to family & closest friends. I continued to drink, but I knew that I had to stop. The trouble was I didn't know how. Finally, I decided I needed to join AA before something worse happened...it was only a matter of time. I'm pretty old (64), & I know my health was starting to become affected. I must admit that AA has made all the difference. The face-to-face accountability was exactly what I needed. I was so desperate that I got a sponsor & took all suggestions offered. The result is continuing sobriety from Mar. 23 until now. I know I'm still new to sobriety, but I continue to keep it a #1 priority. I've seen how different (better, much better) life is now.

There is an AA weekly thread here that you might want to take a peek at. It's full of info. Even if AA is something you do not want, don't ever give up on your sobriety. You'll get it someday.

Mary

[Mike R.]

How?

Hi Betty,
Good to see you again.
Huggs..
if anyone can tell me where God went... tell me.. cause he's not talking to me any more..

[Doggygirl]

How?

Mike, welcome (back). The only way to lose this battle is to quit trying.

I was a hopeless daily drinker for over 30 years. Emphasis on the "hopeless" part. Suicidal actually.

With the help of My Way Out and Alcoholics Anonymous I am almost 1.5 years sober. I now look up to others who have even one day of sobriety, or 30+ years of sobriety, and I know that if I do what they do, one day at a time, I can stay sober too.

If I can, you can. Hope you stick around!

DG

[Mike R.]

How?

I think the only one who can help me is God... and maybe dreaming my dreams again... I can't do this alone... and he knows it.. I'll just wait for him to tell me his name again...He did before... I'm sure if he wants me alive he'll do it again..
and no.. I'm not insane...

[Doggygirl]

How?

Mike, I assume you are in Israel? Here is a link that has some contact phone numbers in several Israeli cities if you are interested....

ISRAEL ? AA meeting Schedule

What have you got to lose??

DG

[KateH1]

How?

Mike R.;755028 wrote: I think the only one who can help me is God... and maybe dreaming my dreams again... I can't do this alone... and he knows it.. I'll just wait for him to tell me his name again...He did before... I'm sure if he wants me alive he'll do it again..
and no.. I'm not insane...

Hi Mike, Hmmmmm, it sounds like you are wanting a "miracle". Some sort of super natural intervention on your behalf. There is a thread called "What We Believe"...perhaps you could find some insight into such things there.

The only way that I know how to get sober is to make a plan, comitt to your own sobriety, seek out support and share support with others. And, most importantly not to take that first drink, ever! I believe that God, Higher Power, Universe.....whatever we believe, gives us all what we need to live a good life. To blame that higher power for our own failings and weaknesses is to not accept personal responsibility. Much as if an adult child would blame a good and nurturing parent for their bad choices and mistakes.

I truly hope that you find your way.....

[Mike R.]

How?

No.. I'm not.. but I'ld love to talk to him again... I've screwed up my own life... I just wish he was there to talk to me again... I miss him...

[paula]

How?

Hi Mike, I remember you. I know how you feel, been there so often and never want to go back. I have not had a drink in almost 5 months, I can hardly believe it, but miracles do happen. I think I reached my rock bottom, all I can tell you is that I just gave up trying, and as they say in AA, I handed my life over to my god. I was totally beaten by alcohol, I think the time had come for me to stop, I pray that your time has also come. God will help you if you really want help.
Take care.

[shirazgirl]

How?

Hi Mike,
I think I expected God to knock on my door and tell me that he was here to provide a miracle. When I realized that that was never going to happen, I started to see things in a different way. The quote "God helps those who help themselves" became a very profound message for me. Unless I was ready to do the work, God was going to be standing by and watching over me. I am sure he saved me from surely hurting myself in a few drunken blackouts. When I was ready, I told him aloud and had my first AF day. There have been about 40 days to follow. I don't see him or hear a verbal response, but there is definitely a differnce in the way I have been thinking. As they say, God works in mysterious ways.

So commit to doing the work, open your mind and spirit and go from there. Faith is the most challenging task that there is, because as you know, we are custom to tangible rewards.

Wishing you good energy from the other side of the pond.

[AAthlete]

How?

Mike, glad you are here and posting - that is often the first step. Let me be the first to tell you that you haven't screwed up your own life, you've just temporarily fallen off the path.

God is there for you, but you need to be willing to listen. So often people get in the habit of foxhole prayers, of asking God to do things for them (I was famous for saying I would quit drinking if he would get me out of whatever jam I was in) instead of doing things for God. I had to realize that God had a plan for me, and it certainly didn't involve trying to drink all the vodka in the world. It started with trying to live the kind of life that I know he would want me to lead. Be good to people, put others first in my life, stop being so selfish.

It is hard to describe, but once it clicked for me (it was a slow, progressive thing), it made all the difference in the world. Just be patient and it will happen. I was in the same boat as you were not that long ago, as were many people here.

I wish you nothing but peace and happiness...

[Leelou]

How?

Mike, look inside yourself, your worth the effort! That's where I have had to start looking in order to find what I need to make positive changes. I have goals and plans that will surround me with physical and knowledgable tools that will help me stay focused, but I have to look inside myself with honesty, trust and acceptance in order to become the person I know I am, that is where I know my higher power is. Oh, and by the way, I have only just started the journey, and I don't know what I will find on my travels, but I bought myself a one way ticket, and I'm ready for the ride.

[Cinders]

How?

Mike,

I want to add that prayers do help. They are helping me amazingly. I am finding peace in myself for the first time in years. It has taken me years of hell to get to the point where I was willing to do whatever it took.

For me, I am taking the Steps. I am praying that instead of trying to control myself I will trust that God knows what is right. I have to pray that many times a day. It took a while but it started working!! Driving home tonight, I had a smile on my face and just knew I was not going to want to stop somewhere to get a bottle. I knew I was grateful for another day of sobriety and I was elated.

Then I come in here and read your post.

I am only just starting, Mike. Truly starting, yet you will note I joined in 2007.

For me, I realized it truly takes willingness and letting God do for you what you simply cannot do for yourself.

Even if I have to remind myself of that 100s of times a day, I feel peace and serenity inside my soul for the first time in many years, perhaps ever.

I hope you can start this journey, too, Mike.

Love,
Cindi

[Emmy]

How?

Mike , I'm sorry that you are struggling~ You are getting great advice and support here , but the first step starts with you , I'll be praying that you find the strength to stop the madness :l Em