I'm a little afraid.

[drylifeahead]

I'm a little afraid.

Hi Sherri. Yes, there are so good points to living on my own with my son. Right now I do walk
on eggshells, and I think some stress will be relieved once I move. Actually, I'm convinced it will.

So a man called me from AA.
Told him about my situation and that I was moving and my fear as explained earlier. He told me
in a flippant way it was time to grow up. Ok, I remember the way they were the first time I called a
year ago, so I pressed on, trying to not be offended, and realising he was trying to be tough, a no b/s
approach. Spoke a little longer to him about what was going on, how long I've been AF, and like my friends
he said it sounded like I wasn't an alcoholic, but if I wasn't careful I would slip into the dark life of one.

That is the point I started crying. Bawling through my life history, my battles with suicidal thoughts
when I would wake, my shame, and how no one knows how deep this runs in me because I hid it.
I called AA and I had to convince this man I needed help, and it felt like I had to beg for it.

At the end we agreed I should be talking to a female in my age group, with children, who could
relate to me. We also agreed that I would go to a meeting tonight. At this point I am waiting to hear
from her.

DLA :h


OMG, I just heard from the property manager. I GOT THE APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!
My headache that was brewing is suddenly gone

[Marshy]

I'm a little afraid.

Drylife,

Sounds as though you're making progress! Just keep going, even though the guy on the phone didn't sound helpful.

Re the speaking thing. I've never been to a meeting where anyone was forced/asked/felt obliged to speak. If you don't want to say anything, you don't have to.

It might help to have an informal chat to a few people when you get there or after the meeting so you feel a bit more involved without having to speak in front of the group at first. Or not. Do whatever feels right for you.

[cuckoosnest83]

I'm a little afraid.

DLA, I'm so happy you got the apartment and the headache that was brewing is gone. Please don't let that man put you off of AA. I went to a few meetings this past summer. The first one I ever walked into, the people were absolutely wonderful. They were caring, supportive, and non-judgemental even though I walked into the meeting with a hangover. I went to another one a few days later closer to where I lived and I hated it. A woman with many years of sobriety came up to me after the meeting and started questioning me in a very condescending manner. This put me off of AA for a while but I guess what it really shows is that just because someone gets sober doesn't mean they weren't a jerk to begin with. In AA, as in all of life you will have to deal with some a_ _ holes. Take care, DLA.
Oh and thank you for the kudos for my 4 days AF. I am loving it.

Cuckoo