Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

Chief: Great to see you here. I found that the ONLY way I could keep from relapsing was by going to meetings. In the beginning I went to one almost every day. Now, I have it down to about 4 that I particularly like. Good luck to you. I've been where you are, & it's not easy. I too bought the "I'll only have 2 glasses of wine" myth. That was my main form of denial...along w/the "I'm not really THAT bad." It's amazing the stuff we tell ourselves.

I've been under the weather & am just resting...kind of getting ready for the Thanksgiving onslaught. I do it here every year (w/help from the fam), but it's pretty wild...little kids running around, dog barking, etc. Last year I drank way, way too much & missed the whole thing. All I got was the work...none of the pleasure. Not so this year. You wouldn't be able to force alcohol past my sealed lips. It'll be pure over-eating for me.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

Oh, Mary.

How funny.

I will have my crew in next week and we will make a huge dinner.

I can't do otherwise.

I do love the kids running around the house and the dog barking and the cats meowing and the family there.

I love it.

I will not let it make me drink this year.

I will not.

If I feel threatened. I will go to my meetings and be done with it.

I will go to my meetings and be whole. Whole.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

Cindi: I like the way you said whole, because last year I wasn't even half there. When I look at the photos, I can't remember the events...sad. Yes, the pressure kind of gets to me...especially w/my husb not being up to par. But that is NOT an excuse to drink...no, no, no! I can ask for help. I can understand that everything doesn't have to look like a magazine display. Some things can be too cool, some things can be too hot. The mashed potatoes can be stuck to the bottom of the pot. It doesn't have to be perfect. When we all say what we're thankful for, I want to know what I'm saying.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

Hi all,
Thanksgiving next week YIKES!. I do most of the cooking at home and this year we'll have a houseful. I used to drink while a cooked, seemed like a good idea. This year will be my first sober Thanksgiving.

Chief, good to see you hear. I prayed the Serenity prayer hourly in my first few days of sobriety. It did help me.

Oh...and about what they say "it gets better..it really does". Well today I locked the keys in my rental car while the engine was running. My first reaction? Laughter, lots of it. I was attempting to go to a 7 am meeting in Boulder, guess my HP wanted me to attend the "Nooners" meeting instead. So instead of cussing, freaking out and all that, I called Avis, waited for help and enjoyed the sunrise.
Never would have happened 6 months ago.
Later.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

Hi all! Cindi and Mary, I love your descriptions of the chaotic homes for Thanksgiving. We always go to one of my Aunt's homes and it's a lot like that! Lots of people and kids - just no animals LOL. She has always been a calm (and sober) hostess for a very large crowd.

I skipped a number of Thanksgiving get togethers in recent years making one excuse or another so I could stay home and drink. The years I DID go, I was resentful that I couldn't drink like I want to drink. Of course I would drink before I went. At this home in the family, a small amount of wine would be served for the few who drink it. I would be drinking more than anyone, but still not enough for me, so frustrated. Then couldn't wait to get out of there to get home and drink like I wanted to. That stinkin' drinkin' thinkin' consumed my day whether I went to the gathering or not and I did NOT enjoy the family at all.

Last year was my first sober Thanksgiving since being a young teen. I remember being a little uncomfortable at first "doing this sober" the first time. But then it was OK once we were there and mingling. We ended up talking and laughing the afternoon away with cousins I hadn't actually *talked with* in years. It was fun. I'm looking forward to sober Thanksgiving #2 this year and more of that enjoyment in the day!

Phil - I love the story about your keys and rental car, and how differently you handled it. BRAVO!!! I love when things like that happen for me too - it shows me that AA is really making a huge difference in my life - beyond just helping me not drink.

My step coach called yesterday - he only has 4 more chemo / radiation treatments left in this round. The last one is next Wednesday. Then Thursday AM he is the speaker at his former home club - the one where I spoke last month. There will be a big turnout for that. Mr. Doggy and I are planning to go there before we head to the family get together. Step Coach was 30 days smoke free yesterday so I think I'm going to make him a chip for that to give him on Sunday.

Life is good.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

DG: Great idea for a smoke-free chip. I am so looking forward to a sober Thanksgiving. I almost feel I can redeem myself a little regarding last year's drunkenness. I didn't get messy but did completely retreat into myself.

Phil: The key story was great. It's amazing how drinking just makes everything so much worse. Imagine the incident if you were hungover, guilty, & ashamed. BTW, I too drank & cooked. Did I actually think it made me a better cook? That stupid drinking thinking again.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

Hi all! The meetings I went to yesterday and today were both really good. Yesterday was a BB study and we read a story and it was one where I could closely identify with so much of! I still find it hard to believe how many years ago some of this stuff was written, and yet the impact AL has on our lives is just exactly the same today. The story we read was "The Housewife Who Drank at Home" on p. 295. I did things in a slightly different order, but many of the same exact things.

* Work hard and then drink because I deserve that "reward."
* Think that a major shift in my life activities (or location in my case) would solve the drinking problem (but it didn't!).
* Use the entire house as my bar - have bottles hidden here and there so I could get a refill whenever I wanted without other people seeing me do it.

And much much more, in this particular story.

The Sunday meeting I go to is a 12&12 (12 Steps and 12 Traditions of AA) and today we read and discussed Step 4. It was a small group today, but with a wide range of background and experience in AA. So the discussion was excellent. I'm really glad that I found my way to sponsors / teachers who encouraged me to vigorously work on the Steps rather than lollygag around on the first few steps and never get to work on the "house cleaning" part of this program. I'm glad I was willing to put pencil to paper and write down all the stuff from my passed as outlined in the BB for Step 4. I'm glad I immediately went on and did Step 5 and got that stuff off my chest. In know there are differing opinions on how to go about the Step work, and in what sort of timing. Just based on what I hear in other people's experience along with what I've experienced myself, I think I'm landing in the "get busy - this is a program of ACTION!" camp.

I am really happy for sponsee#1. This program is making a very clear and obvious difference in her life. She is so much more calm and at peace with herself and the others around her. She is happy and clean/sober and is setting goals for her future. All this at a time right before a major back surgery when she *could* just as easily be hosting a huge pity party and/or making excuses to relapse. She has really been working the first 3 steps all along but we "officially" reviewed Step 2 today. We will do the same for Step 3 next Sunday. Then once she gets passed the initially recovery from surgery, but while she is still off of work, she plans to get going on Step 4. I'm really proud of her and the beautiful young woman she is becoming. We ended up talking a bit at the end of our visit today about some of our escapades while drinking. Oy. We are both lucky that we didn't injure ourselves or others, so at least we could laugh about it all. It does feel like some healing takes place when we can talk and even laugh about some of it.

Special hello to Phil and Mary and Cindi and WF and PP and DLA and Chief and anyone I'm missing and also anyone lurking! There! That's everyone on the planet!! :H

Strength and hope for another day of contented sobriety..

DG

ETA: Oh - we did give a 30 day smoke free chip to step coach today! :H I have lots of poker chips now and I can just imagine giving out chips for lots of fun stuff. A good investment of under $2 at Walmart I think!

ETA one other thing: Today is 1.5 years sober for me. This will be my last chip that is not an annual one. Feels like graduating from pre-school or something.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

DG: I'm so happy for you that you've reached the 1.5 mark. I so look forward to marking those achievements. I love receiving the monthly chips.

I will look for that housewife story, because that's just the way I drank.

Last night's discussion was a very somber affair. There are some members who have so changed their lives w/AL that they can't seem to get past the regret sometimes. I think the holidays bring it on. There were some tears from big, brawny men. My heart went out to them. The Fri., Sat., & Sun. groups in our small AA community are going to have a potluck Thanksgiving feast which I think is a wonderful idea. I hope some of the folks who have lost friends & family will go.

As for me: I'm doing OK. I've got a lot on my plate but am trying to do the next right thing for the next right reason. This morning I went for a long walk w/my g-sons, my friend, & our 3 dogs. What fun! It was just what I needed.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

Hi Mary. So very glad to hear you got out with the g-sons and doggies and a pal today and enjoyed yourself! I know it's been a lot of work for you while Mr. Retteacher is down. Good you had a pleasant break from your other responsibilities.

One of the men today talking about his 4th step brought up something interesting that I never considered while doing mine. He said he realized when he tried to put pen to paper starting the list of "who are you made at" that he was MOST mad at himself. His list of reasons for being angry at himself was very long. He said that once he got done writing all that, he realized that for him, his list of other people to be angry at wasn't really that long at all. Of course that all translated into his 5th step which he described in pretty good detail. It was very much food for thought for me, as I didn't really address IN DETAIL in my 4th step myself, and all that I'm angry at *me* about. I realize I have some work to go back and do. LOL - now I know what they mean about missing things in Step 4 and occassionally needing to go back for another one!

Anyway...I wonder if that very thing isn't at the heart of much sadness and regret that emerges, especially at this time of year?

My sponsor had me include "me" in my amends but now I realize I probably didn't have a complete picture of what I was making that amend for LOL!

This piece of wisdom came from none other than my homeless friend, who is a regular source of wisdom for me. Reminding me once again that we are all equal around the table.

DG

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

Not much time this week to write. Been reading mostly and late at night. Trying to get my Mom ready for a 2 wk visit with family on Long Island for the holiday. Thanks for all the good sharing in this thread. And hello to all.

Winefree

[drylifeahead]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 16 - 22

Good morning AAers.

Warning-this is not to upset anyone...just looking for views.

Well, Saturday night I went to my first AA closed meeting. The place was PACKED. I had
always understood it was smaller and more intimate. Wrong. There had to be 50 people there!!
In a way I was relieved thinking since there are soo many people there is no way they'll
call on me to speak. Wrong. I can't even remember what I said really..I think it was 3
sentences, and I was so shocked I forgot to introduce myself as in 'My name is .. and
I'm an alcoholic.'
Bruther!
Anyway, I did get more out of the closed meeting. Will probably go to another tonight. In
8? more days I receive a chip for being sober for 60 days.

However this is what I'm dealing with since Sat night, and maybe you can help me with this.

I am having a bit of a struggle with the God part of it. It's so heavy on the religion
side. I believe in a higher being, but not they way they have it all laid out.

Also, they talk about alcoholism being a disease. I don't believe it is, MHO. I think if you
GET a disease from it, then that's what you're dealing with as a result of being an alcoholic.
For me-I 'think' if I agreed that it was a disease, then I 'may' think 'see, I can't
help it, I have a disease.'

Just a sort of messed up day in my head today. Probably should get more sleep.
DLA.