Saturday September 23rd

[mojomuppet]

Saturday September 23rd

oh lou i lived with a man for 10 years that drank like a fish. like i didnt have a big enough prob he bought me a bar and taught me how to drink in the morning. needless to say we didnt make it either. it was a crazy crazy crazy 10 years. im lucky it didnt kill me.

[cpn1004]

Saturday September 23rd

Just checking in y'all. I had another AFD!
It is exciting to wake up Saturday morning and not feel like s*&%.
I may have to try this for another day.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[YoungAtHeart]

Saturday September 23rd

I Should Be Working, But....

Really, you peeps are all WORSE THAN ANY ADDICTION!!! I got on here for a little break, which I can see is going to turn into a MUCH longer break!!! Can't resist replying to all this fine stuff.

Firstly, I must say that I am thinking of you too, Sophia, and praying for your son. I'm sorry that it is so hard for him to get help. AA has meetings around the world, so I hope that he can locate one relatively close by. It might be that because of the Asians' relatively low tolerance for alcohol, there may not be as much need for resources in that part of the world, but with so many expatriates over there, there must be something. I wish your family well!

Lou, hang in there, dear. Keep working on YOU, and the rest will fall into place. It's going to take time and hard work, but you will have all of us standing firmly behind you, love!

Everyone's comments are so moving about how we can lean on each other for support. That is so hard for me to do, sometimes. I'm so good at giving it, hey--that's my job!!! But I can look much more jaunty than I feel sometimes. I am more honest here than I have been in many places in my life. I grew up feeling that no one really wanted to take care of me and that I was on my own. So it is hard for me to trust that someone will really be there when I need them.

To tell the truth, I complain about my ex sometimes, but I was falling back in love with him after some very hard times 13 years ago. I was regaining my love and respect for him. But I guess the hard times had taken their toll, because he had fallen out of love with me. After a time of trying to "work it out", it became clear to me that he couldn't really re-commit to the relationship (he went to live overseas), so I filed for separation and then divorce. It broke my heart, and needless to say, it broke my daughter's heart, as well. I'm glad now, but I can still recall that feeling of hurt and betrayal.

Your point it well taken, Mojo, I see the fairy dust all over the place, here. I don't think that you will get ticketed for littering though. This stuff is just too fine to be mistaken for litter!!!

It would be great to have a supportive partner to help with sobriety. But if you are not already in a relationship, what emotionally healthy person would want you (or me)??:H Someone would have to be pretty invested ALREADY or not be paying attention to some pretty big red flags. I dated someone who was truly a prince among men (although not the right one for me, unfortunately) shortly after the breakup of my marriage. He was a lovely man, but he didn't think I had a drinking problem, even though I would easily drink a bottle of wine when we were together!! His parents were both MAJOR alcoholics, so I guess I looked pretty tame to him. I thought, "HMMMM, NO HELP HERE!!!" I KNEW that I could have gotten away with an awful lot before it would have looked serious to him. He would have been a great enabler! That didn't break us up, however--he was ready to get married, and I was just getting divorced, so I ran for the hills after about a year. But I still remember him fondly. I hope he is happy and has all the munchkins he wanted!

But relationships are important. I sometimes even think that if I were with someone who didn't drink much and they knew about my problem, I might even be able to adjust to drinking once in a while. BUT I WOULD NEED THAT SUPPORT. I could NEVER do that on my own, because I would always be TEMPTED TO MAKE ALCOHOL MY BEST FRIEND. Anyway, that is just wishful thinking for me--sweet dreams....

Do any of you think you could have a relationship with someone who drinks and stay sober??? I mean among those of us who are single...I know some of us are married and trying to stay sober.

Now, of course, we've gotta trust Lucky to bring up sex. Our Lucky is always the one to point out that the Emperor has no clothes, or at least is missing some of them! I agree, Lucky, that sex is part of a good relationship. Hopefully, if we have good communication in other areas, it translates into a healthy, open, and gratifying sexual relationship as well. All that I can say about that is that I am glad that I am not so young anymore and don't labor under fantasies about what sex is "supposed" to be like!

Anyway, I have to wind up soon.

Gabbs, I don't think Lisa minds if we flirt with Macks, but JUST A LITTLE!

And Mike, I'm glad that you don't mind that I flirted with you! Yes, I love hats, but I must say, I am still trying to resolve the conflict between hats/hair. How to have both good hats and good hair, since one tends to flatten the other..... If you have any advice on this, I would appreciate it!

And yes, X, I am blonde, although to be more precise, I am a strawberry blonde. Or, again, I WAS. I need a little bit of help from my stylist these days. But nature did christen me with reddish blonde hair, and green eyes, as well. I'm looking forward to getting to that site you recommended in General Discussion and making up my child!

Okay, probably three people have posted in the time it has taken to write this, but oh well! Time to get back to the salt mines!!

Good work, Phil!!

Hugs,
Kathy

[Newyear]

Saturday September 23rd

Sophiah...thought what you wrote was very special and sweet. Love comes in so many forms - not always easy to recognize it when you see it.
thanks...and hope your son gets the help and support he is looking for
Lisa


Which brings up the question of relationships all over again. The human carousel. But reading yesterday, Mike's coming out, x's run, the reaching and the questions and the caring across all the space and time that our curious little machines and hands give us, and what we are doing for each other...well, that's a definition of the divine for me.[/QUOTE][/I]

[Mackeral]

Saturday September 23rd

Kathy, sweet dreams...ambitions...goals...all the same thing...
All achivable aswell.
Yours is a pretty sad story.....The storys not finished yet though....Really hope it has a happy ending for you..
What am i doing?.....Here's me trying to give advice to Absvilles very own advice guru....
Hugs.....Macks:l

[sujul]

Saturday September 23rd

Hey All--
Been popping on to read once in a while but not posting...not enough TIME! I've just started my last year in seminary and my new, sober self is trying to actually honor some of my commitments instead of blowing them off to stay home and drink wine..... PLUS, I'm going through some confusion about my religious affiliation so I'm taking a lot of time to meditate and reflect on my direction....

BUT I just had to respond quickly on the issue of the knowing who our special "one" is....my apologies if someone has already said this but, for me, knowing who the one is has to do with who I am with that person. One of the reasons I am still in love with my partner after 14 years is that she (yep, see that closet door slam behind me! Thanks, Mike! ), calls forth my best self... It was only when I finally accepted that I was squandering my gifts and falling short of the person she believed me to be that I finally knew I had to do something about my drinking....

It wasn't about her nagging me or telling me I had to quit (I wasn't getting obviously drunk--I had an enormous tolerance and I was just drinking all the time), it was just knowing that I was cheating both of us of our full relationship; and when I finally realized that lying and hiding the extent of my drinking felt exactly the same as if I were cheating on her with another person I couldn't continue doing that to her...I couldn't stand living such a lie and being such a fraud with someone who believes in me so much.

That's the reason she's the one--because I not only love HER--I love the person she believes and encourages ME to be!

I know there's lots more to respond to (:l ), but I've got MAJOR reading to do before Monday....I'll try to check in again later....
:h
susan

[fsophiah]

Saturday September 23rd

Kathy, I always sort of cherished the idea that one who had a peaceful center would attract the same. I think that's a fool's dream, but I'm not sure that real peace is ever about relationships between men and women. Or else it's so rare that we don't see it very often. I do think that your own radiance attracts a kind of love, even if it isn't the partner kind. You are very good at spreading that around.

[YoungAtHeart]

Saturday September 23rd

Oh my, it's ME AGAIN!!!

Macks, I'll always listen to you, cause you have something that I don't, and that's testosterone!!:H Well, at least you have more than I do, so you can always offer me a perspective that I don't have! So please, feel free to say what you need to say! My story IS sad, but I bet that all of us have our tragedies on here. I'm just happy to share with all of you, and let you share with me.

Susan, I know exactly what you are talking about, and being your best self with someone. I was engaged to someone from 1998-2000. By the end of that time, I didn't like him very much, even though I still felt a deep connction of sorts, but mainly, I really was starting to dislike WHO IS WAS WITH HIM!!! We pushed each others' buttons so much that I don't think either of us could have been happy with ourselves with each other. I'm glad that your partner believes in you so much and that you want to rise to the challenge!

Guess what?? I'm done with my work for now, and I can actually go take a nap for an hour! What a delicious idea.......

Hugs,
Kathy:l

[mikeupnorth]

Saturday September 23rd

Another good point from the last couple of posts: "the one" is someone who can help us become our best selves. And hopefully we can do the same for him or her.

So much wisdom and insight here in this community. Wow! Thanks guys.

Whew. Naptime for me too.

[Mackeral]

Saturday September 23rd

Susan, always a pleasure when you pop by....Gonna have to rename Absville.....Closet City....
I'm glad you are with someone who you can call "The One"...And your right...Being with somebody who can bring out the best in you can only be good for both parties...

We got a massive day tomorrow in the Mackeral house...
Cloe is the Rushbearing queen for our village ..It's a tradition that goes back over a hundred years, and her name gets added to the flag ( that i will be carrying tomorrow) with the last 101 queens.....We walk through the village with a brass band...stop and sing a few hyms...go to the church for a bit...you know stuff like that.....I took her out today to get her some shoes to go with her big white dress.......Talk about fussy....We got there in the end though.
Lisa and Cloe were up at the school today sewing rushes to her train behind her dress....she has had a crown and a bouquet specially made.....Cloe thinks shes died and gone to heaven.......Gotta be the biggest thing thats happened to her in her life........Gonna take millions of photos and video the day.....Think its something she'll always remember......And Me and Lisa....We are very proud.

Gotta get my beauty sleep now.....(could do with about 6 years.....I know )
Sweet dreams Absville..............Love Macks

[mojomuppet]

Saturday September 23rd

i want to see pics mack! what fun that must be!
suj how right you are about cheating each other out of life.
last couple of days i have seen things i have never seen before( being i have been drunk or on my way to be drunk most of my life)
amazing. thank you all very much.soon im just gonna take the jump and try to stop for a few days(dont push me man my hubby once bought me a globe so i could own the world ill tell ou about it maybe tommorow)

[Lou]

Saturday September 23rd

Night night Macks....tomorrow sounds so lovely for you and your baby girl x x

[Lou]

Saturday September 23rd

Mojo....speak bout stuff when your ready to hun, we'll still be here when you need us x x